'Try again,' Marcus said. Iris sighed, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She tried to visualise a prancing horse, the sight she witnessed countless times while working at the stables She willed the light in her hand to take this form, tried to shape it to match the vision she imagined so clearly in her mind. But when she opened her eyes, the light dancing on her palm was still a shapeless mass, pulsing steadily and waving as if blown on by the wind. She groaned.

'It's no use! No matter how hard I wish it to change, it stays the same. I don't get it!'

'It's all right. That's enough for today.'

'But I haven't managed to do anything,' Iris protested. She felt like an utter fool. No matter how many times she tried, she failed every single time.

'Have patience, child. Light Magic is not easy to master.'

'But I can't do the simplest things! Every child here is better than me!' she huffed, frustrated.

'And how long have you been learning it, hmm? A week?' he asked calmly.

'It's almost two weeks now!'

'Do you know how many years I spent studying magic?' he asked. When she shook her head, he continued. 'Most of my life. My talent had manifested when I was about ten years old, so relatively late. Since then, I was sent to the Order to study. It wasn't easy at first. There were kids my age, who had been already studying magic for years, so I was struggling to catch up.'

'You? It's hard to imagine,' Iris mused. Her anger was slowly subsiding.

'I got there eventually, but it required a lot of work and patience. For you, it will be even harder. When the child starts to learn magic right after it has manifested, it comes easy, more natural. You slowly learn to be in sync with your awakening talent. Unfortunately, now it's not possible. Since Mages have been made the outlaws and Light Magic forbidden, there is no way to learn how to use it safely. So, there are countless people like you who, instead of accepting their gift and learning how to use it, hide and reject it. You were convinced barely two weeks ago that you will never use magic, were you not?'

'Yes,' she admitted.

'The biggest obstacle for you right now is right here.' He tapped her forehead gently with his long finger. 'Your mind is still working against you. You lived all these years believing it is a curse, something that should be hidden from view and never used. The mind works like a muscle. It has memory and reflexes you can't always control. It's not easy to change the patterns followed diligently for so many years.'

'So, what do I do? How can I change my mind? I already accepted magic. I want to learn how to use it. I want to be able to help. Please, tell me what else I can do!'

'It's not that easy, Iris,' he sighed. 'I can't tell you how to overcome your subconscious wariness for using magic. It is something you must work out yourself. But don't fret too much.' He patted her back encouragingly. 'You don't have to master everything at once. If we manage to undo the Ritual, you'll have plenty of time to work on your magic.'

'But if I can't control my magic completely yet, how can I help with undoing the Ritual? What if I do something wrong and...'

'Hush. You don't have to worry about the Ritual. Luckily for us, it doesn't need the magic mastery from the participants. The only thing we will need from you is drawing light and keeping it steady. And I happen to hear from Jayden you are already quite good at this.'

'From Jayden?' she asked, raising her brows in surprise. 'You mean he said something nice about me?'

Marcus laughed. 'Yes, he did. Jayden can be very grumpy and antagonistic, but he means no harm. We need all the help we can get to achieve our goal, and he is aware of that. Even if he lets his personal feelings take over from time to time.'

'Yeah, I guess he is,' Iris admitted. 'Anyway, thank you for all your help. I think I never really thanked you for everything you've done for me so far.'

'There's no need to thank me. You know too well that I need you more than you need me,' Marcus said with a sad smile.

'I wouldn't say so. For the first time, I feel like I'm alive. I don't have to hide who I am anymore. If it were not for you, I would never even imagine that possible.'

'I'm glad. I hope together we can create a world where no one has to hide their talents anymore.'

'How did you find me anyway?' she asked curiously.

'You are aware already that I knew your father. He told me he had a family who lived in Whitshire and he mentioned you many times. He said he was hoping that you'd get his talent and can study magic in the Order too so that you could spend more time together. When he heard that your gift manifested, he was beyond happy. But then, the Ritual happened, and the whole world crumbled. I was desperate to do something. So, I came up with this inconceivable idea to undo the Ritual. I immediately started gathering people who wanted to help me with that.

'As it turned out, there were not many Mages left, so I had to seek them out actively. I knew many were in hiding, so I had no means to find them. I let the word about us, Rebels, go around, hoping it would draw more gifted people to us, but it was still not enough. Then I remember your father. He was a powerful Mage; his talent was extraordinary, the things he could do...' he said, his blue eyes sparkling at the reminiscence. 'I hoped that his daughter might inherit his gift. It was a gamble, but the times were tough, and we were desperate. I convinced others that finding you is worth a shot.

'But even though I knew that you live in Whitshire and work for master Dawson, I didn't know any more details. I knew that your family probably changed your name to hide the connection to your father, so I was pretty much going in blindly. What made things even worse, the place was crawling with ministers and Inquisitors. If I asked too many questions, I would no doubt catch their attention and probably implicate your family too.' He paused and sighed.

Something wasn't quite right, Marcus became tense suddenly, and he was looking at his hands. He seemed to be struggling for words. Iris had a feeling she was not going to like what he was about to say next.

'Your father was a good man, one of the best I knew. He never wavered when others needed help. I assumed you'd probably be the same. I needed something to draw you out of the crowd, to see if I can recognise you.'

Iris gasped when she finally pieced out the puzzles in her head. 'It was you! You set the fire that night!'

'I'm not proud of what I did,' Marcus said, looking at her, his face solemn and eyes shying away from her. 'To my defence, I made sure to set it up away from living quarters, to make sure no innocents got caught up in it.'

'But that's... insane!' Iris blurted, jumping up at her feet and looking at him with disbelief. 'How could you do something so stupid! People could have died there! I might have not even been there in the first place!'

'That would give me information too,' he said calmly. 'But you were there. The plan worked even better than I expected. You were there, and you used your magic.'

'Yes, because if I didn't, Cody would have died!' she shouted. She was so angry that she started shaking. Her hands balled into fists, and her face flushed red. 'Have you ever considered what could have happened if I hadn't got there in time?! He was seconds away from being trampled! Seconds!'

'But you were there, and you saved him. If not for that night, you would never join us. You would never even know about our existence, and you would still be stuck in this terrible world, hiding for the rest of your life,' his voice was calm. It infuriated Iris even more.

'So, you just did that, not caring for the outcome and the collateral damage! I still don't know if anyone was injured in that fire! And you left me alone to be hunted like a wild animal by Inquisition!' she cried, feeling tears of anger escaping her eyes.

'I couldn't help you right away. I knew if I revealed myself too early, we would both be caught, which would be our end. I needed to act cautiously. I waited and then let Inquisition capture me, but not as a Mage, but some troublesome beggar, who had a bad mouth and knew too much about the Rebels.'

'You have no idea what I went through that night!' she hissed. Iris wasn't aware that all those feelings were still inside her. The sense of desperation, abandonment, and seclusion. She thought she left it all behind, but it turned out they were waiting under the surface for a suitable moment to bubble back up. 'Everyone I've ever loved turned away from me, looked at me as if I were a monster! I was sure the world had ended that night. I was sure my whole life was over!' She was screaming at him now. Her whole body trembled.

Marcus raised his hands. 'Iris, please calm down. I know you are angry, and you have every right to be. But as a leader of the Rebels, I need to make decisions no one else would like to make. It's not always in agreement with my conscience. But some things must be done. It is worth the sacrifice if it enables us to fix this world. I don't expect you to understand me, nor to forgive me for what I've done. But, like it or not, all those actions led us to where we are now. We are so close to righting all the wrongs that have befallen our world. You are part of it now.'

Iris let out a frustrated scream. 'I know! I know that! But it's still not enough to justify what you've done! If anything had happened to Cody that night, I'd... I don't know what I would do!'

'I understand,' he said, his brows knitted. 'I just hope my actions will not affect your dedication to our cause.'

'I... I need some time,' Iris huffed and stalked away from him.

Iris stomped through the camp toward her tent, still shaking. She slowly relaxed her fingers, noticing she was clutching her fists so hard she left deep marks on her palms that were throbbing painfully. But she didn't care at that moment. She couldn't remember if she had ever been this angry. All the traumatic moments came back to her. The fear and despair she felt that night. Marcus caused all of it, fully aware of the outcome.

Iris growled and kicked the wooden log laying in her way with all her might, putting all her frustration into this one movement. The log did not even budge, but her foot exploded in pain. She gasped, grappling at her hurting toes and falling flat at her bottom.

'Woah, that was some kick,' a voice behind her said.

Iris gritted her teeth. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. But Kara came up to her anyway, ignoring her death stare.

'You look angry. Something happened?'

'Yeah, you could say that.'

'Come with me.'

'Where? I don't need a company right now,' Iris huffed.

'You don't have to talk to me. But I'll show you how to let out some of that steam.' Kara took her hand and pulled her back on her feet and dragged her down the path.

They walked through the camp until they arrived at the western end. Iris have never been here before. Some people sparred with swords and other weapons, while others practised on training dummies.

'That's the training grounds where I teach our people how to fight,' explained Kara, when they stopped next to one of the figures made of wood and straw that strangely resembled the Inquisition's knight. The woman handed Iris a wooden sword. 'Here, hold this.'

'But what for?' Iris asked gingerly, taking the weapon. It was heavier than she expected. 'I'm a Mage. I won't be running around with a sword.'

'I don't want to train you in melee, silly girl.' Kara laughed. 'However, you still have to be able to protect yourself even without magic. But we'll get to that later. Now, I just want you to hit this dummy. With all you've got.'

'Why?'

'You just kicked a tree trunk.' Kara scoffed. 'I bet your foot still hurts. This way, you won't hurt yourself, but you let out your anger.'

Iris looked at her dubiously but raised the sword with both hands and swung at the dummy.

'Oh, I know you can do better than that,' Kara chided. 'Whoever pissed you off, just imagine it's them, and HIT THEM HARD!'

Iris swung again, with more force this time. Suddenly it felt good. She raised her arms again, putting all the fury into that attack. Again. And again. The enraged scream escaped her throat when she hit the dummy time and time again. Everything around her disappeared and lost its meaning. It was only this dummy that suffered from all her repressed emotions. After a while, her arms hurt, and she was shaking. Not from anger but physical exhaustion. She took a deep breath and put down the sword. Her head felt so much clearer now.

'Good girl,' said Kara putting an arm around her shoulder. 'It feels much better, doesn't it?'

'Yeah, thank you, Kara. It was just what I needed.'

***

Iris sat between Kara and Arlo, eating dinner. The big man told a story from his wild adventures long ago, but Iris couldn't focus on his words. She felt guilty for her earlier angry outburst. All the camp seemed to be quite tense while everyone was running around preparing everything for the Ritual. She realised that Marcus had to have a lot on his mind right now, yet he took time to train and talk to her. And she acted like an ungrateful brat.

'What's wrong, Iris?' Kara asked, looking at her. 'You look distracted.'

'Have you seen Marcus? I wanted to talk to him, but I don't see him anywhere.'

'Oh, you're right. He probably got caught up with all the preparation again.' Kara sighed. 'I swear there are days that if I weren't bringing him food, he would starve because he simply forgot he needs to eat. Silly old man.'

'I'll get him some food then.' Iris got up and then hesitated. 'Erm, where is his tent exactly?'

She fetched more food and walked in the direction Kara pointed her at. The darkness had already fallen over the camp, and people were having dinner or getting rest. Soon enough, Iris reached the tent that was bigger than others. The candlelight illuminated the inside, and a shadow of someone sitting there was painted on the dark green canvas.

Iris hesitantly walked to the flap hanging loosely. 'Erm, Marcus? It's Iris. Can I come in?'

'Of course,' came the answer.

The tent was bigger than the regular ones that most people here sleep in, but not by much—a cot formed from blankets on one side and a little makeshift table on the other. Marcus was sitting on a tree stump hunched over some ancient-looking book. A feeble light of the candle danced on scrolls littering a worktop and the ground.

'I brought you dinner," Iris said. "I've heard you tend to forget about eating sometimes.'

'Oh, that's very kind of you,' Marcus replied and straightened his back, taking the bowl from her. 'I would offer you to seat, but I'm afraid I don't have any more stools.'

'That's all right.' Iris waved her hand dismissively. 'I don't want to disturb you. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For earlier.'

Marcus looked at her for a moment in silence. In the candlelight, his skin looked pale, and the dark circles under his eyes were more striking. Iris' cheeks went red at the thought of giving him a hard time even though so much responsibility was weighing on his shoulders.

'You don't have to apologise, Iris. You have every right to be mad at me for what I did.'

'I know. But I was thinking... I mean... when I finally stopped being so upset,' Iris stammered a bit. 'I understand your reasoning. And I know how hard it must have been for you to make those decisions. I may not like it or agree with it, but I still want to help your cause.'

The old man smiled, and it made some wrinkles in his forehead disappear as if this one sentence wiped out some of his worries. 'I'm glad to hear it. I was afraid you might run away from us or refuse to help. But I'm happy you decided to stand with us. You should go and get some rest now. There is a long day ahead of us tomorrow.'

'Will you take some rest? You look tired.'

'I will, soon,' Marcus replied with a small smile, getting back to his book.

Picture by Yuri_B from Pixabay