-Jared-

I hated but loved training days.

I hated them because I didn't like getting up at the crack of dawn, busting my ass all day, and passing out for bed at a time of night that grade school kids would.

I loved them because when I really got into a "groove", I didn't think of anything else. Just pushing my body to the limit and enjoying the rush of satisfaction and adrenaline that came with it.

Today, I welcomed the distraction from my confusing thoughts towards Ingrid. I hadn't heard from her or her family in a week.

And I had frustration I needed to work off.

"Yo!" Sam waved me over to his squat rack in the weight room. We had just got done running laps to warm up. "You down to grab dinner with me and Jen tonight?"

I shook my head and squirted a stream of water from my sports bottle into my mouth. "Can't. Dinner with my family tonight. Dad's back from his big project up North."

Though I really wasn't looking forward to my parents ganging up on me about my future career plans again...

"Ah, gotcha."

I set down my bottle and stepped up to the rack to go first. "Trust me, I'd rather hang out with you."

Sam chuckled and stepped back to spot me. "I think there's a long list of things you'd rather do tonight instead."

I tried to let his comment roll off of me as I adjusted the bar against my back, his suggestive tone lingering in the back of my mind.

"Let's just get this over with." I lifted the bar off of the rack and positioned my feet to start my reps.

- - -

I waved to Sam as we went our separate ways down our street.

I definitely pushed myself today and was certain I'd be sore tomorrow. Did I keep my mind off of Ingrid?

Sort of.

I jogged up the front steps of my house and entered through the front door, the scent of my mom's lemon pepper chicken marinade and the grill fired up in the air.

I went upstairs to take a shower and change into some clean clothes, thankful my parents were busy with dinner. I wasn't quite ready to face them yet.

I got along with my parents just fine, most of the time. Kristin, being the perfect oldest sibling she was, had her major and career planned out from day one.

Me?

I didn't even know where I wanted to apply this fall. I knew there would be scouts at meets, and that would likely affect my decision.

But what I wanted to do? Who I wanted to be?

I had no clue.

Part of me envied Ingrid. To start with a clean slate - be whoever you want, do whatever you want? I'd want that in a heartbeat.

Did I want to be some objectified jock? When I started high school, yeah. When I realized that wasn't as satisfying as I thought it was and isn't a career choice in life, no.

"Dinner's ready!" My mom called up, just as I finished my shower. I dried myself off quickly and changed into shorts and a fresh t-shirt.

Kristin and I met at the bottom of the steps, walking out to the back patio together.

"How was training?" She asked as we walked outside.

"It was fine."

She rolled her eyes at me, then took a seat to the left of me at the table.

I stepped over to my dad, who had just set down the plate of grilled chicken. "Hey Dad, have a good work trip?"

He pulled me into a quick hug and nodded. "Yeah, got done ahead of schedule. How was training today?"

"Good."

I snuck a peek at Kristin. She seemed slightly more satisfied with that answer.

My mom poured us all a glass of her mint lemonade and passed around pasta salad and corn so we could fix our plates.

My dad talked briefly in more detail about the forestry project he worked on. Most of it went over my head, but I nodded along as he spoke.

We started digging into our food and a few wordless moments passed.

My dad stopped midway through cutting his chicken and looked at me. "So how's that girl doing?"

"That girl"?

I swallowed my bite of chicken and took a sip of lemonade to steady my temper. My dad wasn't trying to be ignorant. All of this happened right before he was leaving town for a major work project. But somehow it still stung more than it should have.

"She's out of the hospital and back home. Some memory loss, but overall healthy." I took a bite of my pasta salad.

I didn't really feel like elaborating more right now. There probably wasn't going to be more to say about it. If she wanted to see me again, I'd know about it by now.

"Your mom and I are so proud of you."

I paused, looking up at him. "Uh, thanks."

I mean, I was still seeing a therapist for some residual nightmares, but they were less frequent and disruptive.

Kristin cleared her throat, pushing around some of the food on her plate. "You know, Jer... Maybe a healthcare career would be a good fit for you?"

Of course, Kristin. Of course.

"Maybe."

I knew deep down, she was just trying to help. But I wasn't feeling it today.

"Oh, that's a great idea." My mom poured herself more lemonade. "You can probably shadow some doctors this summer when you don't have work or training."

I nodded numbly, not having it in me today to overly agree or argue. "You know, I'm kind of full right now. Maybe it's the heat?" I sat back in my chair and pushed my plate forward slightly. "Is it ok if I go?"

My mom patted my back and reached for my plate. "Of course. I'll wrap it up and you can reheat it when your appetite comes back. Take a chilled water bottle from the fridge on your way to your room."

I nodded, glancing at my dad. "Thanks for dinner. Good to have you home."

He nodded back, then returned to his plate.

I got up from my chair, heading straight for the fridge for that water bottle. As soon as I pulled it out of the fridge, I sprinted back up to my room.

Once I closed my door, I jumped onto my bed, resting the cool plastic against my forehead.

I closed my eyes.

All I could see was McKay on the last day of school. A last "happy memory", if you will.

That's what I wanted right now. To escape from all this shitty future talk and just be with her. Talk about anything but myself right now.

I sighed, opening my eyes and checking my phone before I got up to change out of my clothes. I had a missed text from an unknown number.

But I knew exactly who it was.