Aishah

I WASN'T GOING to fall into Ibrahim failed promises again but I didn't let him know,I told him I was going to be patient again but no! I'm not I'm finding ways to make things right

Qadirah decided to sell my dad's house and shop,it was obvious she already made up her mind of not coming back to Nigeria again,she gave me the largest share of my dad's money saying I'm the one that needed it most

I went to the airport with them waving them goodbye as they leave the country,we all cried on eachother's shoulder because we don't know when we will get to see each other again or if we will ever see each other

Fareedah as the good friend she is was here at the airport too

"I'm going to miss you all"I said in a low tone and Qadirah came to hug me wiping a lone tear from her eyes

I took Faiza and played with her a little "hope you're going to miss me little missy?"I asked and she nodded smiling,I drop her down and took Fareed from his dad's arm,I played with him and my heart tightened thinking about not able to see this handsome young man for a very long time,I gave him back to his dad and went closer to Abdul who was dressed in a blue wash jeans and a white buttoned up t-shirt

"Be a good boy"I said and he nodded,I tried stepping back but he pull me closer giving me a warm crushing hug

"I'm going to miss you"he said and I smiled sadly

"I'm going to miss you more"I said and he released me from the hug,Abdul just finished his secondary school and like Qadirah had said she promised to enroll him in one of the best universities in England

Fareedah hugged them too and soon enough we were separated by the voice of a lady from an intercom asking every passengers to get ready in their designated planes

I waved them goodbye and stopped Yunus for awhile

"Please take care of my family they're all I have"I said and he nodded before walking away

My heart got heavy and tightened as the plane started lifting up to the sky, Fareedah hold my right hand in a soothing manner but it only triggers the tears in my eyes,my eyes got heavy and I started crying Fareedah drew me closer and I cried on her arms

I felt so sad and broken like a part of me was taking away,things are really going bad for me and for the first time in forever I actually felt like an orphan like I don't have anybody to lean on

I left the airport and went back to the house only to find Ibrahim playing with Nadeerah who laughed loudly feeling carefree in the world

I stood at the door way for some time looking at the father and daughter moment and my heart squeezed,I felt a sudden feeling of protectiveness swirl through me feeling a great urge to protect Nadeerah from this evil world

I stepped further into the house and Ibrahim noticed me standing up with Nadeerah who opened her hands widely for me to take her,I took her from her dad placing a small kiss on her forehead before I planned on going to my room but I was stopped by Ibrahim

"How was it?"he asked and I gave him a weird look

"How was what?"I asked

"I mean Qadirah leaving..."he said and I felt a new surge of anger rush through me

"Are you trying to know if I'm angry or not? Ibrahim just stop asking me this questions as far as you can't do anything about that devil called Kandiri and his minion Halimat!"I said walking away with my baby in my hand

I climbed the stairs and met Halimat standing akimbo glaring at me,I frown my face immediately trying to walk pass her but she stopped me drawing me back and I have to hold my baby well to stop her from falling

"What's your problem?"I asked with the coldest voice I can muster

"How dare you call my dad a devil?"she yelled and I chuckled

"So you heard all I said,I wish I would have said more so that you can know how less of a human your dad and you are!"I said

"If you call my dad name...."she started and I cut her off

"What will you do? What the goddamn can you do if I call you and your dad names!"I yelled and I'm sure by this time Ibrahim can hear us

I saw him through my side view that he was climbing the stairs but what I didn't expect was Halimat pulling Nadeerah away from my hand and throwing her away like a doll

I stood shocked as if time stopped working and I saw Ibrahim's eyes grow wide

"La illa ha illa lah!"I kept on chanting as I jog through the steps to get to my baby

I met my baby laying on the floor in pull of blood but she was trying to breathe gasping for air,I felt my heart squeeze more than it can ever do and I felt fear I felt the kind of fear I have never felt before,so is this how mothers feel when something is wrong with their child?

"The car let's get to hospital!"I yelled as I took my only child from the floor who kept on grasping for air running out of the house

Ibrahim followed immediately taking his car key and rushing to his car,we totally ignored Halimat who did this and the only thing on our mind is saving Nadeerah right away

I climbed the car with Ibrahim rushing out of the compound,I started reciting the Qur'an praying that Allah in his infinite mercy help my only source of laughter

We got to the hospital faster than we imagined and rush out of the car

"Doctor! Save my baby! Save my baby!"I kept on shouting and the nurse rushed to us taking Nadeerah away straight to the theatre room

I stood at the reception crying and balling my eyes out as I look at my hands that were covered in blood not just any blood but my baby's blood,my baby pink abaya that I was wearing was drenched in blood and I fell on the floor finally feeling weak

Ibrahim came closer placing his hand on my shoulder,I wanted his hand out of my body but I was too weak to talk,I remembered how my baby use to smile and laughed while she tried to crawl she's just five months plus two weeks and now she's here in the hospital going through pains,my heart clenched as I regret standing up to Halimat I should have just went inside and drop my baby

I yelled suddenly crying bitterly and started muttering "Ya Allah save my baby,don't take away the only light in my life,don't do this to me just let this one stay with me"I kept on rambling different prayers that I'm not even sure of

Ibrahim tried calming me down but I stood up and started walking up and down in the hospital and my heart sank anytime I look at my stained hand and dress,I kept on muttering words of prayers reciting the verses from Qur'an that I know praying they all work for me

Minutes turn hours and hours turn infinity to me only to found out that the doctors have been gone for forty five minutes,I went to the theatre room staying at the door waiting for the doctors to open the door and tell me my daughter is alright

The door suddenly swung open and Ibrahim and I gave them our full attention

"She hits her brain hard and lot of damages was caused,we couldn't save her because it was already hard enough for her to breathe and she still  a baby who...."I tuned out of what the doctor was saying as my head got heavy

I'm sorry

We couldn't save her

I yelled once again shouting and kicking holding the doctor's shirt to provide me my baby,my head got heavy and Ibrahim tried to separate me from the doctor but that wasn't it,the pain I'm feeling now is what we call undescribable,it doesn't have anything that could be compared to it and I never knew loosing one's child can be this painful

I ran out of the hospital immediately not waiting to receive the dead corpse of my baby,I took a cab home and Ibrahim wasn't able to stop me,I saw him making a call when I was in the cab and I couldn't care less

I went inside the house and met Halimat comfortably watching the television and the devil in me I never discovered came out from me,I went closer to her without her awareness drawing her hair almost pulling it out of her scalp,she yelp in pain and my slap landed on her face

I have never being this violent and I never knew I can get this violent,I started kicking and slapping her trying all the power in me to beat her to pulp but Ibrahim was already at home pulling me from the top of her

I yelled and kicked for Ibrahim to leave me alone because the only thing in my mind is how I'm going to kill her

"Ibrahim leave me alone! I want to kill her I need to kill this animal so that she can feel what my baby felt!"I yelled fighting off Ibrahim's hand but he was too strong for me

Halimat took that as the right opportunity to ran out of the house and Ibrahim let me go,I yelled at Ibrahim kicking slapping and doing everything my mind ran into to him

"I hate you! You should have let me deal with her! I hate you so much Ibrahim I hate you with everything in me!"I yelled but he didn't do anything or try anything funny

Suddenly my head start getting heavy and my eyes spin,it felt like I had used more than enough energy and my body needed to rest,I wanted to deprive my body the ability to rest but as usual we are not always in control of our body and before I knew it black dot covered my eyes and I fell on Ibrahim's arms

*****************

My eyes was closed and I heard the beeping of machines,I could smell the hospital usual odour and I knew I was in the hospital I opened my eyes forcefully and I saw Ibrahim sitting by my side,he suddenly smiled hopefully as I wake up helping me to sit down when I tried sitting down

"When have I been off?"I asked

"Three days now"he replied and my eyes got wet

"Nadeerah?..."I asked hoping I was dreaming but my day dream was cut short when Ibrahim answered

"She's been buried" I lay back on the bed facing the wall as I cried silently, Ibrahim's phone suddenly rings and he stood up to take his call

"I will be back I need to help Fareedah get some things"he said and I nodded

I needed to get out of here immediately because I felt suffocated,I searched for my phone and luckily enough I saw it,I look through my contact list thinking about who I can call then my mind led me to Abubakar

I dialled his number immediately and he picked the call on the second ring

"Abubakar!"I said almost bursting into tears

"Aishah!"