Chapter 24

"So, san daw si Zion?" Gem asked.

Ever since Erick left the country, masyado siyang maraming tanong tungkol sa akin and kay Zion. I felt like she was just trying to distract herself. I mean, okay lang naman but at the same time, wala rin naman akong masyadong makwento about us. We're still taking it slow. He said he's not going anywhere, so there's no reason to rush into anything.

"Shoot," I replied.

"Magkikita kayo?"

"Sa isang araw pa."

"Ah."

"Out of town shoot."

"Para sa?"

"Summer something," I said, not able to remember kung ano iyong eksakto na sinabi ni Zion kasi masyado akong distrated nung sinasabi niya sa akin iyong bagong campaign na nakuha niya. He got a new haircut nung sinabi niya 'yon. I never thought I'd be attracted to a guy with a buzzcut but goddamn, he was hot! Sobrang tempted ako na sabihin na tapusin na namin iyong friends phase naman at mag-momol na lang kami.

"Oh... So, may mga model? Na naka-bikini?"

I looked at Gem and frowned. "Ano'ng point mo?"

Her eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. "Wala, wala. Bored lang ako," she said and then quickly returned to her food.

Ugh.

Hindi ko naman naisip iyon kanina, pero biglang naisip ko na ngayon. So what naman kung may naka-bikini na model? Sanay naman si Zion na makakita non. Saka sinabi niya na na nahihirapan siya makipagfriends, so kung makahanap man siya ng friend na naka-bikini... that's fine... right?

Lecheng Gem 'to! Kung anu-ano pinapasok sa utak ko!

"God, I'm famished," sabi ni Nikki nang dumating siya. She just arrived from a shoot. "What?" she asked nang mahuli niya ako na nakatingin sa kanya.

I glared at Gem. "Bwisit ka."

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. "What? Ano ang ginawa ko?"

"Nananahimik ako rito. Kung anu-ano pinapasok mo sa isip ko."

"Wala naman akong sinabi!"

Nikki looked confused. "No idea what's happening, but I just need to order food real quick," she said as she motioned the waiter to hand over the menu.

"Okay na kayo ni Zion, 'di ba? So bakit ka magwoworry?" sabi ni Gem sa akin. Hugas kamay pa 'tong leche na 'to.

"In the first place, bakit mo kailangang banggitin?"

"Di ko nga sadya," she said, but I just glared at her even more.

Nang matapos na umorder si Nikki ay ibinalik niya iyong atensyon niya sa amin. "So... what's up?"

"Wala," Gem said. "OA lang 'yan si Arielle."

"Ako pa iyong OA? Ikaw d'yan kung anu-ano pinapasok sa utak ko!" I said.

"Wait what?" Nikki asked.

"Di ba nasa Batangas si Zion for a summer shoot? Tapos biglang sinabi ni Gem na may mga naka-bikini na model siyang kasama."

"Stating facts lang! Wala naman akong ibang ibig sabihin," Gem said.

"Tsk."

I looked at Nikki. "Work is work, 'di ba? Besides, nakakapagod mag-work so usually natutulog na kayo after?"

Nikki grabbed the glass of water and quietly sipped on it. "I have no desire to be a part of this conversation," she said and I groaned. "Babe, you just have to trust him, okay? If a man wants to cheat, trust me, he will find a way. You cannot stop a cheater from cheating."

Oh, god.

Why was I having this conversation?

"But I'm not saying that he's a cheater, okay? It's just that there's no use in stressing yourself over this," Nikki said. Humarap siya kay Gem. "And you, stop putting ridiculous ideas in her head. If you're bored, go call Erick."

Gem apologized but it was too late since the idea was already stuck in my head. Ang hirap naman maging overthinker tapos binibigyan ka pa ng idea ng kaibigan mong bored. Sobrang lala ng combination.

"I'm sure it's fine," Nikki said.

"I know."

"Okay. Great."

"Umiinom ba sila sa gabi?"

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Yes. Sometimes, they do. Just call him later if you're so worried."

"Should I, though?"

"For me? You shouldn't. I mean, why be in a relationship with a guy you can trust? You're just giving yourself a headache. But then again, your imagination will just run wild, so I say just call him," she replied before she proceeded to finishing her food.

I did not call Zion.

The guy also did not bother to update me.

I mean, he did nung sinabi niya na nakarating na siya roon sa hotel kung saan naka-check-in. Wala ng paramdam after. I checked his Instagram account and tahimik lang doon, which wasn't surprising dahil sa Snapchat stories naman talaga siya nagpopost madalas. He said that his Instagram account is mostly his public portfolio. He prefers to post sa Snapchat para controlled niya kung sino lang ang nakakakita.

But wala na akong Snapchat.

Ginagamit niya pa kaya iyon? I mean, wala naman akong sinabi na burahin niya. I just said that I prefer that we communicate via iMessage.

Leche.

Ako talaga gumagawa ng problema ko, pero si Gem talaga ang nagsimula nito.

I decided not to call him and instead just to wait for his message. It was around 8PM nang magmessage siya sa akin. I told him that I was doing something and that I couldn't text, so if it's okay kung tawag na lang.

'Sure. Give me a minute. Kinda noisy here.'

'Okay. Are you at a party?'

'Yeah.'

Okay, so he's at a party. Nothing wrong with that. Si Nikki na ang nagsabi na normal lang naman na uminom kapag ganito na may shoot. Si Fabian lang naman ang hindi mahilig sa ganito kasi siya na ang nagsabi sa akin na he'd rather sleep than to party. Magpapakita lang siya madalas tapos babalik na sa kwarto niya. And I was always updated kung ano ang ginagawa niya.

Why was I comparing the two? They're clearly very different and I was aware right from the beginning when I made the decision.

"Hey," Zion said when I answered his call. "What's up?"

"Just working," I replied. "You're done with the shoot?"

"Yeah. We finished earlier, so we're drinking now."

"That's great," I said. "Made any new friends?"

"Trying to," he replied. "They seem pretty okay."

I was on his Instagram page nang mapansin ko na tumaas ng isa iyong following niya. I hated that I knew exactly how many was his following. It was torture. Kasi alam mo kapag tumaas; alam mo kapag bumaba. You knew he met someone and then you'd wonder kung paano sila nagkakilala... Kung magkausap ba sila sa DM. Your mind will run stories that will make you go insane.

So, I knew I shouldn't click.

I shouldn't feed my imagination.

But who was I kidding?

I clicked on it.

He followed a new model.

"Nice," I said as I told myself not to click on the profile of the new girl Zion was following. But really, curiosity killed the cat because I still did it. I was welcomed with a lot of bikini shots. I knew that Zion would work with beautiful women. That's just his work. But this girl's just very sensual! Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako kinabahan. At alam ko naman na kung ganito man ang nararamdaman ko, problema ko iyon. It's my insecurities again. Why the fuck was I so insecure?

"Yeah..." he replied.

There was silence between us.

"I'll be in Manila around 4, I think? Wanna have dinner?"

"Sure."

"Alright," he replied. "Can I say I miss you even if we're just friends?" bigla niyang tanong. "I mean, I can miss you platonically, right?"

Napaupo ako nang maayos. I closed on my laptop. Why was I so worried about this girl when Zion's here on the phone with me, making dinner plans and telling me that he misses me?

"Do you, really?" I asked.

"Of course, I do."

"You didn't message the whole day."

"I was working."

"It will only take five seconds," I replied. "Fabian used to always update me."

Bigla siyang natahimik.

Fuck.

Why did I have to bring up Fabian?

"I'm sorry," agad kong bawi. "I just wanted to hear from you."

He was still quiet, pero hindi pa naman niya ako binabababaan ng tawag. I quietly waited for him to say something, anything. I knew I fucked up.

"You could've texted me," he replied. "Do I always have to text first? Initiate first?" he asked, sounding pissed at me. Rightly so.

"I know. I'm sorry."

He was such in a good mood earlier. I could really be a fucking dickhead sometimes. Bakit ba ako ganito?

"Fine. Whatever."

"Sorry."

"Sure."

"Will I still see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

Then there was silence again.

"Okay..." I said. "Are you mad?"

"No."

"Really?"

"A little pissed," he said. At least he was being honest. "I don't like being compared—most of all to Fabian."

I wanted to ask why, but I just wanted to be done with this entire conversation... but also, a part of me knew that I should know these things about him. Because this is how you really get to know someone—not just the good things, but also the bad.

"I know. I'm sorry. It was completely my bad."

I heard someone call his name. Babae. I chose to ignore that. Mas importante na alam niya na genuinely apologetic ako.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I think someone's calling you. I'll just see you tomorrow?"

He didn't immediately answer me. I heard him say na susunod na lang siya sa kung sinuman iyong nagsalita.

"It's fine," I said. "We can talk later. Go mingle with your co-workers."

"No," he replied. "I don't want to end a conversation with a misunderstanding."

"I know. It was my fault. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't know what I was thinking."

I heard him sigh once again. "Just text me if you want to talk to me," he said. "I'll reply once I see it. I do the same with you, right? I text you and I wait for your response because I know that you have work. I know that modeling doesn't seem like real work—"

"I didn't say anything like that!" mabilis na sabi ko sa kanya. Why was this turning into something bigger?! Gusto ko lang naman siya magtext?!

"Right," he replied. "You told me that I should stop playing games and that I should respect you. I mean, I feel like you should do the same for me. Just message me. How hard is that, really?"

This conversation was giving me a headache, but I knew that these are the things that we needed to discuss. We're two completely different individuals. We don't just... get along. Dito ko narerealize na hindi talaga enough na puro feelings lang. We actually needed to do the hard conversations and the hard work.

"I know. I will."

"Okay. And if there's any problem, just tell me. Haven't I showed you that I'm actually willing to work on myself?" he asked.

I was dying of guilt already.

"You did," I replied.

"I did," he said. "Because I really do like you."

"I know."

"Great. So, we're good?' he asked na para bang siya pa iyong may kasalanan sa aming dalawa.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Go back and have fun with your co-workers," I said.

"I'll probably just finish a bottle and head back to my room," he replied. "I'll message you when I'm in my room. We can call if you're still awake by then."

"Okay."

"Okay," he said.

There was silence again.

"Arielle," he called my name. "I really do like you. So just message me saying you miss me or something. It'll literally make my day."

**

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