Chapter 15

Hindi ko alam kung marami lang ba talagang kailangang kunin si Zion sa paligid ng condo nila, but he had to walk around for nearly a minute, while half-naked, bago siya tuluyang pumasok sa kwarto niya. I didn't know what to do with my eyes. Ayoko siyang tignan. I was actually scared of my eyes because they might stare at his torso for far too long.

I might stare at his tattoos.

Those freaking tattoos that I used to trace my fingers on.

"Thought he'll be coming home later," biglang sabi ni Fabian sa akin nung kaming dalawa na lang sa may common area.

"It's fine," I replied. I didn't want him to think that I was being weird, so I decided to tease him a little. "Why? You wanted to get me alone here?"

His face quickly reddened. Agad akong natawa. I initially thought na hindi niya talaga ako type kasi sa third date pa namin niya ako unang hinalikan. I actually asked him about that kasi bigla kong naalala iyong sinabi ni Nikki na dating is about finding who your perfect match is. And Fabian's perfectly nice to me. I just didn't want to waste his time.

"Do you like me?" I asked.

"What?" he replied, a bit confused and thrown off, as I saw on his face.

I shrugged. "I don't know... I mean..." I said and looked at my shoes because I couldn't look at that disgustingly gorgeous face while asking him my question. "You still haven't kissed me yet."

Hindi siya nagsalita. It was awfully quiet because it was already past one in the morning and it felt like we're the only two people out. Halos wala na ring dumadaang sasakyan. The silence was becoming deafening.

I was forced to look at him.

"Consent's very important to me," bigla niyang sabi.

My lips parted. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. Was I coming off as too pushy? I was just wondering... kasi nung kay Zion, ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. Then came Fabian na parang dahan-dahan lahat.

O baka ganito dapat?

Ganito ang tama?

"I work in an industry where a lot of my friends get assaulted or forced to do sexual favors just to get work."

Agad akong napatingin sa kanya.

Oh, my god.

"I'm so sorry to hear that," ang tangi kong nasabi dahil sa pagkakataon na 'to, hindi ko alam kung ano ang pwede kong sabihin sa kanya. Ayokong itanong kung naranasan niya na ba. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries because he's been very respectful of mine.

Binigyan niya ako ng maliit na ngiti. "Yeah... I am, too."

Muli kaming naglakad habang napapaligiran ng katahimikan at minsanang busina ng mga sasakyan. It was a nice time to walk around—nicer because he's walking with me.

"I want to kiss you, of course," biglang sabi niya. "I just can't do it without asking you first if it's alright with you."

Napaawang ang labi ko kasabay ng bahagyang paglaki ng mga mata ko.

"Oh..."

Tumingin siya sa akin.

God, that face.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

I nodded and gave him permission to kiss me whenever.

* * *

Dahil dito na pala talaga iyong condo ni Fabian tuwing nasa Pilipinas siya, meron na siya rito nung pasta maker. He was in the middle of teaching me how to make pasta from scratch nang bigla kong marinig iyong pagbukas ng pinto. I heard his footsteps getting nearer, but I refused to turn my head to look at him.

"What are you making?" I heard him ask.

"Carbonara," Fabian replied.

Hindi naman ako dito nakatira para sabihin sa kanya na bumalik na siya sa kwarto niya. Narinig ko iyong paglalakad niya at sa palagay ko ay naupo siya sa couch. Kahit na nakatalikod ako mula sa kanya ay ramdam na ramdam ko iyong mga mata niya sa amin.

"Are you okay?" Fabian suddenly asked.

"Yes," I replied, trying my hardest to sound as casual as I could be.

I really needed to tell him about my thing with Zion. I knew that the longer I drag this out, the worse it'd look. I just needed to find the right words to describe what I had with Zion. And it was barely a thing. We had sex a couple of times. Like Zion said, I developed attachment. I asked him if we could be more. He said no. That should've been the end of this topic.

But life's got some quirks.

Suddenly, I was seeing Zion's roommate.

Ang laking joke ng buhay ko.

Para bang sinabi ng tadhana na ilang taon ng boring ang buhay ko kaya panahon na para bigyan ako ng mga problema. It probably heard me complaining sometimes about how normal and boring my life is, so it decided to throw in some 'spice.'

Na para bang dati lang ay iniisip ko kung saang condo nakatira si Zion at ngayon, nandito na nga ako, kaso iba iyong nagdala sa akin.

Life's funny that way.

"Okay," Fabian said, not pushing the topic any further, thankfully. "Can you crack eggs?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied, frowning in jest.

He chuckled. "Just checking," he said. "Crack three eggs."

"Okay," sabi ko. "Do I separate the yolks?" tanong ko dahil ang naaalala ko ay ganon kapag traditional carbonara at hindi Filipino version ng carbonara.

"No," he said. "I'll be making the recipe my nonna taught me," he continued while he was chopping the guanciale. It smelled so good! Bigla tuloy akong nagutom.

Habang busy siya sa pagge-grate nung pecorino cheese, busy naman ako sa itlog. Nang matapos ako roon ay binigay ko sa kanya iyong bowl na may itlog.

"Grazie," he said and for some reason, that made me blush. Lumalabas kasi lalo iyong accent niya kapag nagsasalita siya ng Italian. Maybe I should ask him to talk Italian to me. Hindi ba weird iyon?

I was so focused on watching Fabian as he threw the ingredients in. I so wanted to grab my phone and to record him while he was cooking! Sobrang cute niya kasi naka-apron pa siya. Ngayon ko lang din na-realize kung gaano kaganda iyong side profile niya. Alam mo iyong may mga tao talaga palang pinanganak para maging model? Ano kaya itsura ng mga magulang nito? Ang ganda ng genes, e.

"Do you wanna do the plating?" he asked while he was mixing the pasta with the sauce. I was so excited! First time ko kumain ng pasta na made from scratch. Tapos kami pa iyong gumawa. I was so amazed lalo na nung gamit na namin iyong pasta maker!

"No," sabi ko sa kanya. "I don't wanna ruin the food."

He chuckled. "You won't."

"Maybe next time," I said.

"Okay," he replied, and I just watched as he twisted a good portion of the pasta and put it on the plate. He even put some garnish! Kamukha siya nung mga order ko sa resto. This carbonara could easily be like 700php a plate in one of the restos na kinakainan ko.

"That looks so good," I couldn't help but comment.

"Hope it tastes good, too," he said.

"I'm sure it tastes good," sabi ko. "If it doesn't, I'm still gonna pretend that it does."

Natawa siya. "Oh, no. You don't have to pretend with me. If it sucks, do tell so I can do better next time."

I blinked.

Oh.

Why did that sound so nice?

And healthy?

Nang matapos siya sa paglalagay nung pagkain sa plato, nilagay na namin iyon sa may dining table nila. Medyo masikip actually dahil pang dalawahan lang naman talaga iyon tapos tatlo kami. But we made it work since wala naman kaming choice.

"That looks good," sabi ni Zion.

"Yeah. Arielle's a great sous chef," sabi ni Fabian.

I awkwardly smiled. "You did all the heavy lifting."

"Next time, you'll cook and I'll assist," sabi naman ni Fabian.

Napatingin ako kay Zion at nakatingin lang siya sa aming dalawa. Bahagyang magkasalubong ang mga kilay niya. If this was him pretending that we didn't know each other, he's failing at it miserably! Mukha siyang bwisit sa aming dalawa ni Fabian and it showed a lot on his facial expression.

We began to eat. Binuksan din ni Zion iyong dala ko na wine. Mukhang sanay na sanay siyang magbukas ng wine. I mean, maybe it's a French thing? Kasi kapag ako ang magbubukas, hirap na hirap ako. He did it so effortlessly.

"How did you two meet?" Zion asked while holding his glass of wine. He barely touched his food.

"Gym," Fabian asked.

"So, you go to the gym?" Zion asked me while looking at me.

I had to smile and to compose myself. I knew that by answering this like we didn't know each other, I was just digging a deeper hole to bury myself in. And I hated that I was making a fool out of Fabian. He deserved so much better than this shit.

"Just started," I replied.

"Fabian's always at the gym," Zion commented.

"You're always at the gym," Fabian replied. "He just goes really late at night," he continued, but now looking at me.

"I refuse to wake up early to go to the gym."

"Because you're always out late partying," Fabian replied, shrugging.

Zion shrugged. "I call it networking."

"We have an agency for a reason," Fabian casually said but for some reason, mukhang nagbago ang mood ni Zion dahil hindi na siya nagsalita pa at tahimik na lang na inubos iyong pagkain niya at inumin tapos ay nag-excuse na siya papunta sa kwarto niya.

I wanted to ask Fabian kung may nangyari ba na hindi ako aware? Like may backstory ba sa kanilang dalawa? Because something felt off!

"I'll be out the whole week," biglang sabi ni Fabian.

"Work?"

He nodded. "For some campaign," he said.

What I noticed about him, he's really humble. He never told me what brand he's working with. Magugulat na lang ako na sikat iyong mga brand na ka-trabaho niya. Sobrang nagulat nga ako nung biglang may billboard ako na nakita on my way to Makati na may mukha niya. So weird! I mean, kahit si Nikki never ko pa nakita sa billboard. Tapos itong si Fabian very chill lang.

"Good luck and have fun," I replied because really, what was there to ask?

"Thanks," he said with that adorable smile of his. "But when I get back, I'll be having a party."

"Work party?"

Umiling siya. "More like birthday party."

"Oh. Of whom?"

"Me."

My lips parted. "Oh..." I said.

Were we getting serious? I mean, he already introduced me to his co-workers, invited me to his place, and even cooked dinner for me! Tapos ngayon ay invited na ako sa birthday party niya na for sure ay kasama iyong mga kaibigan niya.

Shit.

I really needed to tell him about Zion.

"You don't have to get me any gift," sabi niya. Akala niya siguro ay iyon ang iniisip ko. Fuck. I was so unfair to him. I really should tell him.

"I will get you a gift," I replied. More like the gift of the truth... probably. Pero kailan ko ba dapat sabihin sa kanya? Kapag sinabi ko sa kanya ngayon, baka maapektuhan iyong trabaho niya. He'd be gone for a week for a shoot. It sounded like a huge campaign. Pagbalik niya naman, baka masira ko iyong birthday niya.

Pagkatapos na lang ng birthday niya.

Right.

Pero paano na sila ni Zion? Roommate pa naman sila.

Fuck.

There's no good time to tell the guy you're dating that you've been lying to his face when he's been nothing but perfectly nice to you.

I fucking messed this up big time.

Fabian chuckled. His phone rang and he excused himself dahil mukhang business call iyon. He went to his room while I continued to dry the plates that we finished washing. I insisted na ako na iyong maghugas ng plato, but Fabian helped me.

But then I heard the door open.

Tumingin ako sa pag-aakala na si Fabian iyon, pero si Zion ang bumungad sa akin. He was looking at me. His brows were slightly furrowed. Dumiretso siya sa may ref. Binuksan niya iyon at saka kumuha ng pitsel na may tubig.

"Are you okay?" I asked because he seemed like he's in a bad mood. Ano ba iyong nasabi ni Fabian kanina? May hindi ba ako narinig? Did I space out while they were talking?

He finished pouring himself a glass. Hawak niya iyon. Hindi sadyang napatingin ako sa mga daliri niya.

It's so weird to be around him and act casual when this guy had seen me naked and had his tongue lick every inch of my fucking body.

"Why won't I be okay?" he replied. He sounded like a jerk.

"Whatever," I said and brought my attention back to what I was doing. I just wanted to be a nice person to him, but why did I forget that it's him I was talking to? The guy who thought I was good enough to fuck, but not good enough to date?

"I'm sorry," bigla niyang sabi nang mapagtanto niya na hindi ko nagustuhan iyong tono ng boses niya.

Hindi ako nagsalita at nagpatuloy lang si ginagawa ko. I didn't have to be nice to him. I owed him nothing. I should constantly remind myself of that.

"Are you serious with him?" he suddenly asked. His voice was low like he didn't want him to hear us talking.

"Yes," I replied without even boring to look at him. Hindi siya nagsalita hanggang sa matapos ako at mapatingin ako sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa ako nabigla nang makita ko na nasa akin iyong mga mata niya. I knew that he'd been watching my every movement. I refused to be affected by that.

I didn't want to overthink his actions because his actions mean nothing. I thought I had learned as much from what we had before.

"He's a great guy," I told him.

"Yes, he is. Annoyingly so," he replied.

"You're annoyed that he's great?"

"No," he said, scoffing.

"You sound jealous."

"In your dreams," sabi niya at natawa ako nang hindi ko sinasadya dahil sa reaksyon niya na parang mas gugustuhin niyang mamatay kaysa umamin na nagseselos siya.

"I missed that," bigla niyang sabi.

I blinked.

"You laughing."

I bit the inside of my lips.

"Stop," I said.

"What?"

"Whatever you're doing."

"I'm not doing anything."

Hindi ako nagsalita.

He's being such an ass.

"Can't we be friends?' he asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Zion, stop."

"That's a first," sabi niya. "You never told me to stop before."

I felt my face heating up at the insinuation.

"Zion—" I said, pero hindi natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil bumukas ang pintuan at lumabas na ng kwarto niya si Fabian. I forced myself to smile at him. "You done?" I asked instead and he nodded and helped me put the dishes back. He even lent me a container para doon ko ilagay iyong carbonara. I was only kidding nung sinabi ko na maguuwi ako, yet binigyan niya talaga ako.

Fabian's a great guy. I really needed to sort myself out. 

**

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