Chapter 04

"What?" Nikki asked me when she caught me staring at her again.

"Wala."

Umirap siya. "What is it?" she asked, a little annoyed this time dahil pangatlong beses niya na akong nahuli na nakatingin sa kanya. I really wanted to ask her about Zion! I mean, I could definitely stalk the guy online but if there's something I learned with being friends with Nikki, it's that people are not always how they seem. Take Nikki for example, she's a model slash influencer. There's this certain persona that she projects online. In real life? She's different. She says it's not about being fake. It's just work. How she is in real life is how she really is. Ganon lang 'yon.

"Nagkaroon ka na ng fuck buddy, right?" I asked that made her forehead crease. She was looking at me suspiciously.

"Yeah... And what about it? Why the sudden curiosity?"

I shrugged. "Wala naman. Just a fascinating concept," I replied, trying to sound as casual as I could possibly get because I didn't want her to turn all mama bear on me.

"Okay..." she said, but she didn't really sound convinced.

"How does that work?"

"Fuck buddy?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Sino ang nagtetext, ganon? Or sino ang nag-i-initiate."

Tumingin siya sa akin. For a few seconds. Nikki's not an idiot, so alam ko na alam niya na tungkol sa akin iyong tinatanong ko. I would listen to her stories kapag nagku-kwento siya, pero ngayon lang iyong ako iyong nagtanong talaga. She'd know that something's up. But I also knew that she loves me enough to wait for me to voluntarily tell her kung ano iyong nangyayari sa buhay ko.

"I'm just curious about the... logistics," sabi ko sa kanya dahil mukhang hindi siya naniniwala sa lame reasons ko.

"Either," she replied. "You can ask if the other person is free. If yes, then it's a go."

"So, hindi naman mukhang demanding kunwari ikaw ang nag-ask?"

She nodded. "Yeah, babe, this is a two-way street. If he needs me, I'll be there. And I need that reciprocated. I'm not a call girl that he'll call whenever he feels like it."

Okay, so hindi naman pala mukhang demanding nung nag-message ako sa kanya na pumunta siya sa akin. The thing was, hindi siya pumunta despite saying yes. Iyon kasi iyong nakaka-inis talaga. He wasted my time. Alas dos na akong naka-tulog!

"But," she said, looking at my face. "It's not for everyone."

"Bakit ganyan tingin mo sa akin?"

She shrugged. "Nothing," she replied. "Fuck buddies only works if you're both aware of the status. Fun only, no feelings involved, you know? Because if one person catches feelings, it's gonna be so awkward."

"Are you speaking based on experience?" I teased her.

She groaned. "Yes! That asshole invited me over at 1AM then had this whole candlelit dinner prepared. I mean, who does that!"

Natawa ako. "Someone who likes you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, feeling wasn't mutual. I was interested in the dick, not in him as a person."

Napailing ako. "Mean."

"That's why I told you that it's not for everybody," sabi niya. "To be fair, it's hard to separate love from lust, you know? Also, some people are the girlfriend-boyfriend type of girl, but some can have fun and just fun."

Tumango na lang ako at hindi na nagsalita pa. Ano bang klaseng babae ako? Ako ba iyong kayang i-make sure na fun lang? Obviously not! Nase-stress na nga ako dahil lang hindi siya nagpakita nung dapat magpapakita kami, e.

Ano ba 'tong pinasok ko.

* * *

I was trying to finish some deliverables nang mag-notify sa akin iyong Snapchat. It was only 9PM, so I was kind of weirded out. Nevertheless, tinignan ko pa rin kung kanino galing iyong notification.

"Weird," I said as I pondered kung bubuksan ko ba iyong notif.

It was only 9PM.

Too early for a booty call...

Or was it?

Dapat talaga may gumawa ng rules sa ganito, e!

Zion5200: Hi

Me: Hi

Zion5200: Busy?

Me: Kinda

Zion5200: Oh okay

Me: Why?

Zion5200: Nothing just bored

I should stop replying dahil totoo naman na may ginagawa ako. I mean, oo gwapo siya. Oo masarap siya. Pero mas kailangan ko ng pera, noh! Ang mahal na ng bilihin ngayon.

Me: I'll be free around 11

God, ang rupok!

Zion5200: Great

Me: See you later

Zion5200: Or maybe now? I can just chill there while waiting

Oh, fuck. Gusto niyang tumambay dito?! This was an uncharted territory. Sa three times na nagkita kami ay hindi pa siya tumambay. He just did what he had to do and then left. What the fuck was happening?!

Zion5200: Or maybe not

Zion5200: I'll just see you later

Oh, shit.

Ang bilis namang magbago ng isip!

Me: No it's fine

Zion5200: Okay :)

Normally, I hate using emoji, but for some reason, ang cute kapag sa kanya. Kasi alam mo 'yon? Kapag tinitignan ko si Zion, ang bad boy talaga ng dating niya. Hindi ko ma-point out kung paano, but that's just how he is... tapos biglang may smiley?!

Ang unfair!

* * *

I live in a business district kaya maraming condo buildings sa paligid ko. Ramdam ko na sa isa sa mga building na 'to si Zion nakatira dahil literal na in under 10 minutes ay nasa condo ko na siya. Mabuti na lang talaga ay hookup ready iyong unit ko! Hindi ko na kailangang magmadali sa paglilinis.

May mabuting impluwensya rin naman pala 'tong lalaki na 'to sa akin bukod sa pagpapa-discover sa akin na malandi pala ako. Akala ko wala akong kalandian sa katawan—turned out, choosy lang pala talaga ako. Alam mo 'yon? With the right person, lalabas ang kalandiang tinatago mo.

Zion5200: Here

Agad akong tumayo at binuksan iyong pinto. He was wearing light gray joggers, white shirt, and black sliders. Medyo magulo rin iyong buhok niya, pero for some reason, he looked like he's ready to walk the runway.

Ano nga kayang klaseng model siya? Sabi kasi ni Nikki, may runway model pero meron ding print ad model, TVC model, at kung anu-ano pang model. Ano'ng model kaya 'tong si Zion? Bakit hindi ko na lang kasi siya i-stalk online kaysa kung anu-ano 'tong iniisip ko.

"Hey," he said as he stepped in my unit.

I gave him a curt nod. Mukhang natuto na siya dahil ang una niyang ginawa ay ang hubarin iyong sliders niya. Mabuti na lang at may suot siyang medyas kasi wala akong slippers na kasya sa paa niya. Ang weird naman if bibili ako para sa kanya. Masyadong presumptous na magtatagal 'tong setup namin. Mamaya isipin niya na attached ako tapos biglang mawala siya.

"Do you wanna eat?" I asked.

"You, but later," sabi niya na nanlaki iyong mga mata ko at napaawang ang labi ko. Bahagya siyang natawa. "I was kidding," sabi niya. "Just do your thing. Don't mind me."

Ramdam na ramdam ko iyong pamumula ng mukha ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Sinubukan kong magsalita, pero para bang tinakasan ako ng mga salita. Instead, I forced myself to go back to my work area. Nandoon ako sa bandang dulo ng sala ng condo ko dahil nandoon iyong laptop ko. I wanted to see kung nasaan si Zion, pero ayoko naman na lumingon. I tried so hard to look at the reflection sa may screen ng laptop ko. Nakita ko na nakahiga lang siya sa may carpet sa sahig at nakasandal iyong ulo niya sa may beanbag at mukhang nagcecellphone lang siya.

Hindi ako makapagconcentrate, leche!

But I told him na mamaya pa akong 11PM matatapos kaya magiging weird naman if sabihin ko ngayon na free na ako. Although that would be optimal dahil mukhang wala naman akong matatapos gawin with him around—and with him looking like that!

I stood up and pretended like I was getting water. Habang umiinom ako ay nakita ko na nandon pa rin siya. Only this time, he was wearing airpods at mukhang may pinapanood siya sa phone niya.

Why was he created like this?

So hot, but adorable.

Unfair.

Sa buong pag-inom ko ng tubig ay hindi siya tumingin sa gawi ko. Either masyado lang siyang nag-e-enjoy sa pinapanood niya o wala siyang pakielam kahit magtumbling ata ako rito. Hindi ko alam kung maiinis ba ako roon o ma-a-amaze sa level of concentration na meron siya.

Pagbalik ko sa work area ko, nagsuot na rin ako ng earphone and really tried to concentrate this time. I had to remind myself that I got bills to pay and as hot as he was, his pretty face won't pay my bills.

"You done?"

Halos mapatalon ako sa kinauupuan ko nang marinig ko iyong boses niya. I managed to successfully work. It was hard work, though! To work despite knowing na may hot na lalaki na nakatambay sa sahig ng condo ko. The struggle was real!

"Yeah..." I replied habang sinasara ko iyong laptop ko.

"Great," sabi niya. "So... can we?"

Umikot ako paharap sa kanya habang nakaupo sa swivel chair ko. "Can we what?" I asked with my brows arched habang nakatingin sa kanya. He's now sitting and facing me. God, that beautiful face!

His lips were slightly parted. "Is that a stable chair?" he asked suddenly.

"What?"

Tumayo siya. It was weird how I was in awe kahit sa simpleng pagtayo niya lang. Siguro kasi kapag ako ang tatayo, para akong hirap na hirap. But him? He did it so gracefully. Ganyan ba kapag model? May training ba sila sa ganyan?

"I was thinking that I'll sit there... and then you'll sit on me," sabi niya habang naglalakad tapos ay huminto sa mismong harapan ko. He put his hands on the armrest and then leaned in—just enough that our faces were an inch apart.

Fuck, my heart was racing again!

Ano ba 'yan! Fourth time na naman 'to! Bakit ba kabado pa rin ako?!

"I..." I said, trying to find the words because I swear to god, lagi nila akong tinatakasan kapag kaharap ko 'tong lalaking 'to! "I don't know..."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Do you wanna try?" I asked.

Umiling siya. "Nah. You use it for work. I don't wanna risk it," sabi niya tapos ay hindi na ako nakapagsalita pa nang maramdaman ko iyong labi niya sa labi ko.

God, I love my life!

* * *

We started at 11PM and ended at 2AM.

It was... wow.

I had no fucking words?!

"Yeah... sorry about that," bigla niyang sabi.

"About what?"

"That," sabi niya sabay turo sa noo ko.

Napakunot iyong noo ko sabay kuha nung salamin. My room was a bit dark. Ewan ko. I was not ashamed of my body but at the same time, I was not that proud of it. Ang ganda naman kasi ng katawan ng tao na 'to! Like literally, may abs siya na kita ng mga mata ko. Ang paborito kong part, tho, ay iyong mga ugat sa kamay niya. Ang hot lang!

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ko na para akong binugbog dahil kita ko na agad iyong purple parts sa gilid ng leeg ko. Meron din sa may cheekbones ko. Paano nangyari 'yon?!

"Yeah, I'm sorry," he said, but he didn't sound super apologetic. I frowned at him. Ramdam ko na kanina dahil ang tagal niya sa leeg ko, pero ako 'tong malandi, hindi siya pinigilan. Paano ko tatakpan 'to ngayon?!

"I'll get back at you for this," I said, still frowning at him.

Tumawa siya. "Yeah, sure. Give the makeup artist something to work on," he said so casually pero ako 'tong malandi, kinilig na agad!

Ito ata iyong literal na bare minimum pero kinikilig na agad!

Lumabas siya para kunin iyong damit niya dahil sa sala kami nagsimula pero of course, sa kama iyong ending. I wondered if makakarating ba kami sa shower o masyadong intimate na ba 'yon?

Habang nagbibihis siya sa sala, kinuha ko iyong cardigan ko at sinuot iyon. Paglabas ko ay nakita ko na iyong shirt niya na iyong sinusuot niya.

"Sorry for disturbing you while working," he said.

I shrugged like it was no big deal kahit na kanina pa ako nag-o-overthink. "It's fine," I replied.

"You'll be sleeping after this?" he asked.

Was he making small talk? Usually kasi after our rather awkward conversation ay aalis na siya. Then hindi siya magpaparamdam for a few days, magpaparamdam, makikita ko siya sa labas ng unit ko, we'll have fun, then he'll say goodbye. Rinse and repeat.

"Maybe not," sabi ko. "I'll probably order some food."

"What food?"

I shrugged. "Maybe some wings," sabi ko. "You want some?"

"Yeah... but I have a shoot later."

Did he really mean that? Na kung wala siyang shoot, he'll hangout with me? O baka shunga lang ako na naniniwala sa mga sasabihin niya?

"Don't you need to have complete sleep or something before a shoot?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as I could possibly be. Paano kaya nagagawa ng ibang mga babae na maging casual sa harap ng type nila? I was already panicking on the inside!

He shrugged. "Usually, yeah, but don't you think I look good now?"

I felt my face heating up. I shrugged as casually as I could.

"You look fine," sabi ko dahil ayokong isipin niya na gwapong-gwapo ako sa kanya. He'd believe me, though, dahil alam niya naman na friend ko si Nikki and we literally met sa birthday niya na napakaraming model.

He was still smiling but something... changed. I couldn't quite say what changed, though.

"Thanks again for letting me hang," sabi niya sa akin.

What? Bakit biglang aalis na siya? We were still making small talk!

Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang tumango.

"Uh... Be safe," sabi ko. "I mean, it's already 2AM."

He gave me a smile. "Thanks."

It would be weird if I tell him to message me kapag nakauwi na siya, right? Hindi iyon kasama sa fubu territory. I would definitely make things weird if I ask him that.

He walked to the door. He didn't say bye. He didn't kiss my forehead like before. He just left.

Okay... Did I say something wrong? 

**

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