I swiftly flipped through the lines of designer clothes hung up on the racks that stretched down the wall. The soft, delicate fabric that was probably worth a fortune felt like venom stinging my hands.

He's gotta be joking, right? My empty stomach was churning acid rain while I browsed through the open, walk-in closet.

One side consisted of varieties of brands in men's clothes, shoes, hats, accessories, while the other side was filled with expensive brands all in my size. The white shelves had golden stripes running down them with lights at the back, making the room glow. At the end of the closet, beside the shelf that was filled with a variety of footwear for every occasion, was another black glossy vanity table with a golden framed circle mirror. It hung in front of a box of white lights. A golden glass drawer was in the middle of the closet holding different types of accessories while light bulbs from golden rods hung over it.

I stood there wondering how much blood was shed in order for him to live this luxurious life? How many lives did he take to buy these clothes, to afford this house? He was living off of the pain of others, not even bothering to bat an eye to any guilt, like the guilt was never there to begin with.

I gazed blankly at the clothes. A shiver ran down my back imagining the piles of the lifeless bodies who were at his mercy on their last breath. I had to wear what his wrath had brought...the price of their blood was the cost of my future.

As much as I didn't want to accept any of these clothes, I couldn't really walk out of this house wearing these Pj's. People would already begin to question and that wasn't an option I was willing to choose. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I still had enough time to go to my apartment and grab my stuff. If I changed at home and took a couple of clothes, I could manage for a month. If I hurried, I could make it before school started.

I browsed through the closet, trying to find any decent clothes that didn't scream "detention" in this luxurious mess, finally digging up a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie. I slid it on top of a mint-colored tank, which exposed a bit more of my full chest than I would have preferred.

I gave myself a little twirl in front of the floor-length mirror, accidentally slamming the heel of my foot into the bottom of the glass drawer.

"Ouch! Damit!" I grunted through my clenched teeth, feeling a small sting beginning to seep in as I hobbled around on my right foot.

Before I began cursing at the piece of furniture, the rim of the dresser flashed a vibrant green light, slowly revealing a small automatic drawer pushing outwards.

The long, thin opaque drawer had ceased to a stop. A night-black lid was on top of the drawer, sealing its secrets from the outside world. I knelt down on all fours, studying the silver passcode of numbers stuck to the left corner of the closed drawer.

Jackpot. The corners of my lip began to pull back, contentment of warmth filling inside of me. I found my lead, the evidence I needed to end this once and for all. The feeling of adrenaline pumped through my veins, feeding the rush that kept my blood rushing through my body, craving for more.

The airy sensation drowned me with delight, an emotion that felt foreign and unfamiliar after the past few weeks of an emotionally painful roller coaster. An explosion enlightened my brain... the good sort... the type that carries more possibilities than I could be conscious of. But there were hundreds of ideas there in that buzz of electricity... I could feel it. This drawer was the calling card of my freedom, of the paths that were awaiting me, the ones that I had thought were lost.

I go to touch the passcode but pull back knowing better, questioning if it could set off an alarm with the faintest touch. The lime screen of the passcode shone six lines waiting for the correct digits to be filled in. My mind was grinding with all the possibilities of combinations, eventually concluding that it was a one in a million chance that it would be the right one.

But there is a way I could get in. A grin spread intensely on my face at the thought. Closing my eyes, I did what my mom had taught me, hearing her calming voice whispering in my ear as if she was beside me, guiding me through the steps one at a time.

≈ Flash back ≈

Red. Everything went red. My vision blurred as a flame curled in the pit of my stomach. My brain went on overdrive as it picked every moment that I had spent crying. The memories weighed down on me but instead of breaking me even more, my heart turned ice cold and I slunk into the shadows as my brain took complete control. The pain and anger were like flint at first, only lighting sparks of the tingling energy I felt inside, but it grew. It grew faster and stronger.

The flames in my stomach rose up to my chest and crawled through my veins, taking over the rest of my body. I wasn't in my body anymore. I was trapped in a dark room, blinded by the rage and hurt in my heart, the scars that I held. My fingers curled into fists, crushing the glass rods I held. The glass pierced the skin of my palms but I didn't even feel it. Waves of fury rolled off me as the blood rose to my cheeks. The term anger, barely even touched the tip of the volcano that I clearly was in that moment.

I let out a demon every time my fist flew at her, her screams and pains of wiper were blocked out of my mind, the colours of my surroundings blurred together into one. I tried to pull back from the anger, to hold myself back, but my arms swung harder each time without my permission. I could hear the haunting of her small pleas beneath me as she begged me to stop but I couldn't. I couldn't stop.

My eyes bolted open, my breath coming out in heavy heaves. I breathed as if no air would ever be enough, as if I was a drowning victim suddenly brought up from the depths.

I fell to my knees, feeling the air drain in and out of my lungs, the sensation had finally overridden my body, making my muscles go numb from overwork. My palms dug deep into the cold grass, letting the brittle ends poke my skin as I kneel my head forward. My long hair almost touched the ground.

I tried to erase the memory of her crumpled body from my mind as my eyes flicked through the dark mossy trees.

In the still, empty forest, not daring to move deeper, I spun slowly in the place I stood, "I can't do it mama!" I screamed into the empty dark forest, the chilly air whipping my night-black hair into my face, "I can't face it! I just can't..." I pleaded desperately into the lonely mist, hoping someone would hear but no reply came back.

It was a cold drab day, a thick coat of mist surrounded me, making it harder to see past the mossy green trees.

I searched for the shadow of her figure. I listened for a snap of a twig under her step or at least a hint of her perfume in the air.I found everything and anything, but not her.

The expanse of trees ahead of me was never-ending. Or probably I thought so. The canopies provided a slight glimpse into the overcast weather which turned the shades of greenery even darker. There were unnecessary crisscrossed pathways with no movement. It was as if I was the only one here. There was no noise, no sound. I couldn't even hear the crickets chirping, everything was still and silent.

"You're strong, Elyna!" I could hear her voice deeper through the large trees as they towered over me, but there was no sight of her. "You can do it, just breathe and focus! Your power comes from your emotions!" I nodded my head back and forth in denial. She was wrong, I wasn't strong enough to face what I did to my sister, what I had become in a matter of seconds. Tears began to stream down my numb checks from the icy winds.

"You have to feel what you felt then, you have to let it out again, you just have to let yourself go to tame it! There's no choice."

"But it's hard!" I screamed into the dense tree branches that were intertwined almost like spider webs, "All I see is her pain and tears... and...and... Her blood..." A shiver ran down my spine as I saw the pool of blood that outlined where her body laid on the floor.

"You have to push through it, let that feeling be the emotion that holds you back from losing control. You have to try.... You have to try for Jisoo."

As much as I didn't want to go back there, it was the least I owed her. Mama was right, I had to accept what I did and make sure it NEVER happens again. It was the least I could do for her.

I closed my eyes and let my mind drift into the thoughts which I kept buried deep beneath the darkness in the back of my mind, somewhere I wouldn't dare to venture off towards on my free will.

"You killed her!"

"They're here because of me...."

"You should have never been born!"

"They're like this because of you!"

"Monster."

"Freak!"

"Killer.."

My pain flared as their voices swirled around my head. I lived in the anger, almost as cartoon characters do, so lost in that moment and the torment my brain was in. I'd see it first in my eyes, then a tension in my muscles rose up. An inability to think clearly soon followed.

The feeling was like a vexing of the soul, for what I felt was not human, it was twisted and distorted but it was something strong. It burned so bad like fire lacing my veins and creeping up my spine, my skin was a sore looking red but all I could feel was desire; a desire to hate.

I was intoxicated with emotions I had no intention of ever feeling, the acidity of it was residing in my stomach, waiting to be spat out of my mouth in foul and vulgar words I would be stared at for saying, except I wasn't going to say them. I was going to screech them with every ounce of breath that dwelled in my lungs.

My eyes opened; the anger that was inside was abandoned as my eyes held onto every detail in the woods in amazement. Everything seemed more alive than I would have thought minutes ago. I could see clearly through the mist that had blinded me before. The way the small bits of light hit the droplets of water that rested on the green leaves above me, to the small creatures who murmured at the break of dawn.

I could hear the birdsongs drift as well as any summertime pollen that was probably miles away from where I stood. It came as magical as any flute, as improvised as deep south jazz, and as soulful as a lover's kiss. At that moment, I was present, feet still and heart open, letting the flame in me burn.

I inhaled deeply, taking in the earthy smell from the fresh rainfall earlier that night. I smiled up towards the sky, watching the birds swerve through the tree branches above. My arms were spread apart like I could grow wings and fly away with them. The faintest bits of light raided off my skin as I smiled back into the light.

I let my feet drift through the grass as if I was walking on air. I could smell her now; her intoxicating scent surrounded me, leading me down the tightly knitted trees. I picked up my pace, wanting to feel the burn on my muscles but my strength only increased as my strides became familiar.

Small creatures whose existence I'd never guessed at, teemed in the leaves around me. They all grew silent after I passed, their breath quickening in fear. The animals had a much wiser reaction to who I was than the people I had loved.

I allowed myself to drift along with the new fragrance. I was mindless as I dashed down the forest with ease. Stepping into the meadow, I watched as her bright red cardigan began to appear in the mist, hundreds of feet away. I pushed harder and faster; the smile only grew larger on my face as I dashed towards her. She stood there, with the same eyes like mine. A smile that matched mine, spread on her face in the open field of greenery.

I could hear the pounding of her heart against her chest. I could feel her heartbeat, every single pound in her chest. Not through my ears that were occupied by the steady calls of the earth or the sweet thrill of her marmalade voice; but in my mind, in my hands. Her pounding chest was like a drug that called me to it, wanting to pull me towards it. I slowly came to a stop and the smile on my lips had disappeared from before, now replaced with dread.

The crave overflowed into me in a rush I couldn't control. I wanted it. No, not it, I wanted her. But I couldn't walk over to her. I had to but I couldn't. This great pounding, this great pressure, every beat. I couldn't hear it, but I could feel it.

I panicked. I took a step back. I needed to run. I needed to run now!

"Eylna? What's wrong baby?" she spoke to herself in a soft whisper filled with worry across the field.

She thought I couldn't hear her from such a distance, but her voice was as clear as if she had whispered it into my ear. I couldn't move. Her heart began to beat faster and harder, driving me to the point of insanity.

I bent down, my fingers kneaded through my hair. I couldn't think straight but I had to focus. I thought of Jisoo beneath me, her cries, her tears. I had to push it down, 'think of her blood', I told myself. The pain and dread fought with the insanity in my veins. I thought I was on fire as it burned. It took everything in me to pull it back, seeing her lifeless body in my grasp. I can't let it grow out of control.

My scream plagued the silent forest from the pain that took over a portion of my brain as if dealing with it is energy expenditure enough, without the effort of new thoughts. It stole the part of me I most want to share with others, my light and laughter, my generous heart. It is the sort of pain that burns as if some invisible flame were held against my skin. The emotions of loss are that way, right? Death, abandonment, or betrayal, they all lead here.

But it slowly began to dim , soon consuming itself into nothing, but the haunting of its awakening still lingered inside of me. Mama was running towards me, petrified. She grabbed me, wrapping me in her warmth. I held her, gripping her tightly as I dug my face deeper into her waist so I could hold on just a bit more. I was terrified but also filled with joy. I didn't want any of this, the feeling I had then. I enjoyed it, craved it as I almost murdered her.

But I didn't. I didn't kill her.

She pulled me back and examined my face. Her fingers traced the outline of my similar features. "A-are you okay? Did you get hurt?" Her eyes were lit with urgency.

I held her cheek as she leaned into my hand. I could see the shadow of the light in her ocean eyes. Her hair gently fluttered in the wind while her red cheeks and cherry nose made her lips seem like a pasty strawberry color. She closed her eyes and hummed into my hand.

"You did it Elyna...My baby girl did it." She said half-heartedly, smiling towards the sun that had begun to show itself, making the dimples on her cheek grow deeper.

"I thought I couldn't stop it..." I whispered quietly. Her eyes opened and looked at me, "It was so hard mama, I thought I couldn't hold it back." My nose started to prick at the top while my eyes watered.

"I liked the feeling of it mama. The power...it was like a fire. It- it- just built up-, then I saw you and.... Your heart was pounding. I could feel it in my hands... I wanted- ... I wanted-" My voice trembled as it broke. She pulled me in closer to her, squeezing me, holding me in her arms as if it could erase my memory, my feelings if she tried hard enough.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's over, okay?" she stroked my hair, calming my heaving breaths. My body went limp in her arms. I let her hold me as she patted the back of my head, taming my wild hair, "Shhh, baby. Shhh..." She let the tears stream silently down my red numb cheeks. I listened to her heartbeat thump steadily against her chest to calm me as mine raced at an inhuman speed.

"Elyna, I want you to always remember this, okay?" She waited to feel a small nod against her chest before she continued, "Your uniqueness doesn't make you who you are, it doesn't make you good or evil, it's your choice of who you want to become, of who you want to be. Always remember that my baby. You can be strong enough to fight who you were meant to become..."

..........

From deep inside my chest, through every cell of my body, the heat of it swirled around in my veins as the fire within me burned. The warmth welcomed me like an old friend, the sensation that I had felt millions of times before still felt foreign leaving me in a daze of wonder.

But it still kinda scared me, feeling the cold slowly leaving my heart... the thoughts that I stirred from my life, everything I once loved or cared about, that had fucked up and broke me, tearing apart my soul bit by bit. Reliving those moments made my blood quiver, yet the warmth from its power was addicting. The flames that sprung and danced in me made me feel full and whole. Yet, I wait for the day when I would fly too close to its fire, and the flames would burn my wings. The day that I will fall and hit the ground so hard that I could never get back up again.

I blink a few times, letting my eyes adjust to the sudden change. My nose scrunches back as the furry balls of molecules floating in the air leisurely brush past my nose, even though I wasn't able to feel them.

I could see the faint outline of his fingerprints pressed onto the keys he used on the lock code. I bite down on my bottom lip as I click the buttons with the faintest fingerprints first. Hearing nothing, I continue on. Finally pressing on the last number of the code, I glance around the room waiting for red lights to flash as sirens that wail violently against my eardrums or the whole closet to go into lockdown of some sort like in the movies. But nothing happened. Everything stayed as it was.

The black drawer beeped a low, steady note before it opened its latch, giving enough space for me to squeeze my finger in to open the lid. Opening the drawer, a black box with a silver lock was tucked inside, surrounded by wads of cash stacked around the box.

I grab the box, slowly removing it from its spot, careful not to move anything from its place as I set it beside me on the floor. I grab a bobby pin from my hair, bending it back to make it a similar shape as the keyhole on the lock, just like how I saw on a crime show once with Rose a few weeks ago. Following the man's steps that were on the screen that weekend, I twist the pin in my hands, resembling something similar to the lock.

There was a small click while I turned the bobby pin in the lock. A tiny smirk played on my lips seeing that it actually works. Placing the bobby pin in my pocket, I listen to the voices and shuffling of steps outside of the walls of the master bedroom. The whispers of unfamiliar voices and shuffles of footsteps around the mansion merged together on the first and second floor, along with the clatter of pots and pans and the soft hum of machines working in the different rooms. But there was no sign of anyone coming into the room. Letting my defences down, I let the fire in my veins dim, feeling a sudden emptiness devour the pit of my stomach and heart.

My attention was brought back to the box, letting my hand rest on top of the lid. Now in the bright lights, his initials could be seen on the corner of the box. I stared down at it, my conscience weighing down on me.

This is absurd! I can't just look through his stuff. What if it's personal? But it's not like he gave me a choice, right? He's the one that barged into my hell of a life and made it into Satan's playground. I contemplated in my mind, weighing the situation at hand. I need this. I whined desperately inside of my head. And if I don't tell him, then no one would know, so it won't really hurt anybody... it'll be fine. I'm doing the right thing. I'm not the bad guy. I'm not my father. I told myself repeatedly as I hurriedly opened the lid before I would regret my decision.

The box wasn't filled with secret files or dirty work that I had hoped for but a few pictures and letters; some were open, others still sealed and tucked away. The few opened letters had so many crease lines, all of them fluffy to the outside from being folded and unfolded so many times. He was clever, I would give him that. He left the bundles of cash on full display while hiding what he treasured most in a simple black box, in hopes to protect the things inside.

I picked up one of the crumpled photos of a woman who looked a bit older than me. She wore a vibrant smile as she was looking away from the frame and into the setting sun in the background of the photo.

Could this be his lover? I thought back to the reaction of that night in the basement and the wedding night; it's not like he wanted this marriage. He made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me, maybe she was the reason? However, that couldn't be true since she shared the same doe eyes as Jungkook, along with that distant gaze that I saw a glimpse of at the wedding ceremony. The way she looked like she was in another world, somewhere where no one could reach, almost like she was millions of galaxies away.

She was stunning! A fairy tale princess would be the best to describe her gentle hand-crafted features as I looked through the few photos. Her long, loose, wavy hair was always flowing around her thin figure, somehow always following the direction of the wind. Her eyes had sparks of life within them. There was one photo where she held a small toddler, with the same eyes as her, under the bright blue sky. Their laughter was palpable from the small snapshot of the moment of their memory behind the lens of the camera. The woman was grinning happily up at the small child in her grasp as if she had just found the world's hidden treasure.

A small stuffed bear with ruffled fur, laid in the corner of the box, along with a perfectly folded fluffy sea blue blanket. Flipping through the printed pictures, I watched as the little toddler grew into a child, maybe five years of age? No matter what, his mother was always by his side in the photos. He seemed so happy in them, almost like he was free to feel like a kid.

I wonder where she was, his mother. I didn't see her at the wedding, let alone that she existed. But thinking of her made me quiver, knowing that whatever had happened in the past, it wasn't something pretty if it had made that innocent child in the picture grow up to become like the man he was today.

My mom had always said there was this box in the past told by the ancient greek. A box that was held captive in us, hidden and untouched, filled with emotions, memories, and thoughts we don't let anyone see. But in those rare moments when we opened this box inside of us, we opened the door to the other realm, the source code handled by demons. We didn't bury hope in the box, yet wove the items in them into a poison that we keep forever safe.

Every photograph or object that was tucked away in this box, held enough value for him to be kept locked up in this safe. The letters, the bear, the blanket, the pictures were each a story from his past. These small moments that he kept were his living inner box, his Pandora's box.