Robards stared at the paper in his hand, a deep furrow between his brow.

Harry shifted his weight on the uncomfortable chair in front of the desk, then leaned the other way and back until he finally illicit an agonized squeak from the metal.

Robards glanced up for only a brief second, then back down.

Harry sighed and looked around at the floor to ceiling bookshelves. All but one of the empty mugs looked to have been cleared up at some point, but a few changes of clothes stuffed into an empty corner shelf and a few dirty dishes from late night meals had taken up residence on the crowded shelves. It was probably all due to the big case the Aurors had all been so focused on the last week. The room could use a thorough deep clean. It was beginning to smell a bit whiffy.

"What are you thinking, Potter?" Robards said in dismay.

"That I'd like to work in the Liar's Department, which is why I've requested a formal transfer," Harry said.

Robards set the form down with a sigh, "Fine. We hadn't planned on giving you the promotion for another year, but I'm sure we could work out something a bit earlier."

"A promotion," Harry said flatly.

"I'll put you in charge of the next prominent case that comes in and use that as cause for your move to Senior Auror," Robards said, "I can't manage it any faster than that with raising suspicious."

Harry muffled a laugh into a cough, "I don't want a promotion."

"What do you want then, Potter?" Robards asked, drumming his fingers across the desktop.

"How about a de-motion?" Harry asked. It wouldn't actually change his mind, but he was curious what Robards would say.

Robard's brown furrowed.

"Make me a Junior again," Harry said.

"No. I couldn't- there's no precedent for such a thing," Robards said.

"Make one, then," Harry said. He shifted his weight back again to elicit another horrible metal shriek from the chair.

Robard's eyebrow twitched. "Obviously, you have some issues with the department. I'm certain we can work something out-"

"No. I'd like to transfer, sir," Harry said.

Robards dropped back into his chair, "I'm afraid I have to reject this transfer," he dropped the form onto his desk. "We need you here, Harry."

"I'll just quit then," Harry said with a frown. He really didn't like Robards using his first name like they were chums.

Robards started forward, "You can't; think about how it would look."

"Yeah, really bad for you," Harry said, "Even worse if I give an interview with the Prophet afterwards about how disappointed I am with the Auror's and how they run things."

Robards expression darkened.

"You know, all my life, people have been deciding things for me. That I'm a useless good-for-nothing because of my parents, that I was a hero because of something that happened to me as a baby, that I was the chosen one because of a prophecy." Harry sighed and pushed another squeak out of the chair. "The thing I want, and have always wanted really, is to be judged fairly for what I do. Not promotions I haven't earned, or given no punishments or demerits that I have earned. Not I would have liked them per-say but, it's the principle of the thing."

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind about this?" Robards asked, "I could arrange a more informal demotion; have you treated as a Junior within the department for as long as you feel necessary."

Harry sighed.

"I could arrange for you to have more training or put you under a Senior's personal purview or-"

"I'd like to transfer," Harry said, "to the Liar's Department."

Robards stared at him.

Harry stared back.

"Is there anything-"

"No," Harry shook his head before Robards could continue. The old man looked so grim that Harry conceded, "I'm not giving up on being an Auror completely. I might transfer back-"

Robards nodded slightly to himself, leaning forward in anticipation.

"If Shunter is made Head Auror when you retire," Harry said.

"Marlene?" Robards said.

Harry blinked; it hadn't actually occurred to him that Shunter had a first name. Aside from maybe sir.

"Shunter is the most qualified Senior auror in the Department, with the best record and a mind towards reform. She might not be famous, but she'd do a good job," Harry said. "I'd be interested in working for her again."

Robards sat back so heavily his chair rocked.

"Sorry, sir," Harry said, "Just approve my transfer, and I'll tell the Prophet that the Auror's were great, and I was just feeling restless and looking for something new. No hard feelings all around."

Robards shook his head slowly, even as he reached for his quill, moving the transfer forms back in front of him. "You've... changed, Potter."

"Yeah," Harry said with a grin, "I met someone; he's a terrible influence."

"The zoo, Potter? Really? I allow you to pick where we go, and you pick The zoo," Draco glared around the brightly coloured signs pointing to various exhibits, "Do I look like a child to you?"

"No, but you certainly play the role well," Harry said.

Draco turned and glared at Harry. His hair still as pink as a flamingo. He was always complaining about how difficult it was to make sure it didn't clash with his outfits, but Harry knew he like his new hair colour for the most part; otherwise, he'd glamour it.

Harry reached up and eased off Draco's sunglasses and put them in his own pocket, "You don't need to look imposing here; you'll scare the children."

"Give those back," Draco said.

"When we leave, I will," Harry said.

Draco settled for huffing and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Next time I bring Teddy, you should come. The zoo is a lot of fun with a little kid," Harry said.

"You should have brought him this time," Draco said.

"This is a date, not a playdate," Harry said, checking his watch, "Come on, we'll be late."

"If it's a water show, I'm not going. I hate getting splashed," Draco said.

"It's not a water show," Harry said, grabbing Draco by the arm and pulling him down the path.

Draco looked around, "This zoo is probably too small for a decent water show."

"I think they have seals and penguins," Harry said, glancing at a large map as they passed to make sure he was headed in the right direction.

"Every zoo has seals and penguins," Draco said.

"Not every zoo," Harry said. "Are you going to be like this the whole time?"

"When you asked me out on this 'date' of yours, I was expecting something more-" Draco huffed again, "more... romantic."

Harry laughed.

"What? What?" Draco said sourly, "You've never asked me out properly before."

"I'm sorry, what do you call all the other times I've asked you out to dinner and lunch and-"

"Those were just meals," Draco said, "This is the first time you've taken me somewhere."

"Hmm," Harry said, looking at Draco with a smile.

"What?" Draco asked.

"Just thinking that you take me places all the time," Harry said.

Draco's ears took on a pink flush that matched his hair. "Yes. Well. I'm not rude."

Harry took Draco's hand and gave it a squeeze, "Come on. We're almost there."

"Where-"

"Mister Harry Potter?" A young woman wearing a zookeeper uniform called.

"Yes! That's me, sorry, we're late," Harry said, leading Draco over to her.

"Hi! I'm Cam, and I'm one of the zookeepers here. Let's get going," Cam smiled brightly and led them through a side down and into one of the back areas of the zoo. The floors were concrete, clean and bright to match the white walls, and the air smelled like an earthy mix of hay, grain and manure.

Draco wrinkled his nose as he looked around, channelling all the childish disdain of his eleven-year-old self.

Harry tightening his grip on Draco's hand and pulled him along behind Cam.

"So today, you'll be feeding Bubbles. She's still young, so she's always excited for snack time," Cam said.

"Feeding? Bubbles?" Draco said.

Cam gave Harry a questioning look.

"I haven't told him; it's a surprise," Harry said with a grin.

Cam stopped at a large sliding door and looked at both of them, "Here we are. You'll be separated from Bubbles by a fence and will listen to all instructions I give you. No yelling, no grabbing and stay behind the fence, understand?"

Draco looked at Harry in alarm, "Is this safe?"

"Very," Cam said, "Bubbles is a sweetheart. We just have to cover all our bases."

"We understand," Harry said.

"Oh, and sign these release forms," Cam said, flourishing a clipboard.

Harry did. Draco only looked more alarmed.

"We've never had an incident. It's just those bases we have to cover," Cam said, "We're a small zoo. We can't afford a lawsuit."

Draco looked at the clipboard with trepidation.

"Trust me, it's worth it. I promise," Harry said.

"I'm going to hold you to that," Draco muttered as he carefully signed a long and overly intricate curly signature.

"Thanks," Cam said, collecting the forms and pulling open the doors.

They were barely inside when they were greeted by an ear-splitting trumpet followed by the large grey head of an elephant leaning over the chest-high fence separating them from the rest of a large barn.

"I know, I know, we're running a bit late, aren't we, sweet girl?" Cam said as she hurried to the back of the room to retrieve a bucket filled with fruit.

Draco stared open-mouthed. Harry tugged him closer to the fence.

Bubbles flipped her ears back and forth, watching the fruit with far more interest than them.

"Bubbles is an ivory orphan. Her mum was killed by poachers for her tusks, so Bubbles was taken in by an elephant orphanage," Cam said, "Ideally, they like to raise the elephants close to home and release them back into the wild, but Bubbles has some health problems so she came here where we can take care of her." She sat the bucket of fruit next to them.

"Is she okay?" Draco asked quietly, not taking his eyes off Bubbles.

"She's fine. Bubbles just has a sensitive stomach, so her diet has to be carefully managed by us here at the zoo," Cam said. "And part of that diet is her twice daily fruit snack." She picked up an apple and held it out.

Bubbles reached over the fence with her long trunk, grabbing the apple and ferrying it to her mouth.

"You can feed her now," Cam said, "Go on, she's gentle."

Harry knelt down and grabbed two apples, pressing one into Draco's hand. He could feel Draco jump slightly as Bubbles took the apple from his hand. Harry put the other apple in Draco's hand.

"You said she was young?" Harry asked.

Cam nodded, "African bush elephants can live up to seventy years. Bubbles is eleven, so she's still a bit of a teenager."

Harry picked out a couple sweet potatoes. He gave one to Draco and held out one himself. Bubbles deftly plucked it from his hand with an easy dexterity, and it disappeared into her mouth with a single crunch.

Draco couldn't take his eyes off her, hardly daring to blink. Harry let Draco do most of the feeding, only passing a few more apples to the elephant. When Bubble's trunk brushed his palm, the skin felt rough and warm. He was surprised how delicate Bubbles was, grasping things with the end of her trunk like it was a little hand.

"That's all. All done, Bubbles," Cam said, holding up the empty bucket.

Bubbles explored the inside of the empty bucket and then huffed, flapping her ears in annoyance. Food gone, Bubbles turned her attentions to her two visitors. She gravitated to Draco immediately, her trunk ruffling over his hair and even giving it a tug.

"That's not food, Bubbles!" Cam laughed, patting Bubble's trunk.

Bubbles tilted her head with a look that seemed to say, I know that.

"You never let me play with your hair," Harry said, pulling out his new phone and managing to fumble on the camera app, taking a few photos and then recording a video.

"You make a mess of it," Draco said absently, carefully touching Bubble's trunk as she continued to explore his hair.

Harry snorted, "As if Bubbles isn't?"

"It's a special occasion," Draco said.

Bored with Draco's hair, Bubbles trunk moved down, practically engulfing his face.

Draco sputtered but only turned his head so he could breathe.

Cam was laughing, "Bubbles! Bubbles, that's enough! Sweet girl," she nudged Bubble's trunk back, "She doesn't see hair that colour very often. She's just curious."

"It's fine," Draco said, his hair standing nearly straight up.

Cam's walkie crackling to life, signalling the end of their visit. Harry quickly put his phone away before Draco caught him recording.

Draco was silent as they walked back up to the zoo, and Cam left to go back to her regular work.

They lingered by the door in a spot of shade away from the crowd.

"You said you wanted to meet an elephant," Harry said.

Draco let out a breath and blinked as if waking from a dream.

"What do you think of my date now?" Harry asked, feeling a bit proud about the whole thing.

Draco pressed Harry into the corner and kissed him breathless.

"I'll take that as a roaring success then," Harry said faintly.

Draco brushed his hair back with a belated look of embarrassment as he stepped back.

"So... do you want to go look at the penguins?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded, and Harry took his hand.

"Can we come here again?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, whenever you like," Harry said.

"So cars are like small trains?" Little Dobby asked, pressing their nose against the front window. They were standing on top of a footstool to see the street outside.

"There are lots of different kinds of cars, though," Teddy said, sitting next to them.

"Trains are different too," Dobby said, "I've seen like- like five many, and they were different colours, and the Hogwarts express is super different!" They pointed to their wooden model train and Teddy's little metal replica of the Hogwarts Express sitting nose to nose on the windowsill.

Teddy's brow furrowed in thought, his hand going to his train and moving it back and forth, butting it against Dobby's train, "...but trains are on rails, and cars can go anywhere."

Dobby squinted outside, "Cars have to stay on the black paths, don't they? How is that different than rails?"

"...I dunno," Teddy said, frowning to himself and looking conflicted, "but- but- but they're different! I know they are." He looked over his shoulder at the three of them sitting around the living room, "Aren't they?"

"I'm afraid I don't know much about muggle machines, Teddy," Andromeda said, "Perhaps Harry knows."

Meribelle tilted her head in interest as well. She was half the size of the armchair she was sitting on, perched upon the edge with her legs hanging off. Her dark blue dress and shiny silver ear cuffs seemed too fancy for the little get together, but Meribelle had told Harry that she determined to make as good an impression as possible.

"Err..." Harry wiped his palms off on his jeans. Between Andromeda's casual-elegance and Meribelle's fanciness, he was feeling severely under dressed. "I don't know a lot, but uh, you're both right?"

"What? It can't be both," Teddy said, not happy at all with the answer.

Dobby looked from Teddy to Harry, "Can it? How?"

"Well, both trains and cars use engines to move so, they're the same that way. But they're different in the kind of vehicle, with trains on rails and cars on roads," Harry said.

"What's an engine?" They both asked.

Harry winced, "It's, uh, I don't know how they work exactly."

Teddy frowned at him.

"I only went to muggle school till I was eleven, Tedster, you... you learn about engines at sixteen," Harry said, half-truthfully.

"Engines aren't magic then?" Little Dobby asked.

"No. It's all- all a muggle machine," Harry said. He shrugged, "Which I don't know about."

"We can look for a book on them when we go to the library on monday," Andromeda said.

Teddy nodded. He told Little Dobby solemnly, "The library has lots and lots of muggle books about muggle things. Once I find out, I'll tell you everything, okay?"

"A library? Can I go to the library too, Mama?" Dobby asked.

"It's a muggle library?" Meribelle asked Andromeda.

"Yes," Andromeda said, "But with sufficient glamours, I'm sure you could come along. Teddy loves the library."

Meribelle hesitated and said carefully, "If Asbestos agrees. She knows far more about the muggle world than I."

"Of course," Andromeda said. She stood, "I shall start tea. I'm sure we'll all be wanting something to eat soon enough."

"I'll help!" Harry said, jumping to his feet and following Andromeda into the kitchens.

Andromeda flicked her wand, filling the kettle and setting it on the hob to heat. "You can't escape the questions, you know. They never end," she said with a smile.

"I always feel terrible when I can't answer Teddy's muggle questions," Harry said.

"You do your best, and that's what matters," Andromeda said. "I have some sandwiches prepared in the fridge. Get them out, would you?"

Harry took out the plate of sandwiches cut into little squares. "Should I get the juice out?"

Andromeda sighed, ever dismayed by Teddy's preference for juice over tea, "I suppose so."

Harry set everything on the counter next to the tray where Andromeda was setting up a tea service, the china cups clinking gently against one another as she set them down.

"Thank you for setting this up, Harry. I'm always pleased to see Teddy make new friends, and I have enjoyed talking with Meribelle. I hadn't actually had a chance to talk with a house elf, properly, before. I looks forward to getting to know her better," Andromeda said. She rested her hands against the counter, staring at the kettle, "I do worry, though..."

Harry's brow furrowed.

"They work for the Malfoy's? Is that right?" Andromeda asked.

"Yeah? Why? What's the worry?" Harry asked.

"I'm just concerned about how they're treated there," Andromeda said.

"They're treated fine. And they're free elves; they would leave if things were bad," Harry said.

Andromeda frowned faintly, "Oh, Harry, you have a very liberal mindset. There aren't many houses that would trust a free elf."

"Yeah, but Draco's not-"

Andromeda huffed a silent laugh, a bitter smile on her face, "I know Lucius Malfoy and my sister quite well and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"You fell quite far," Harry pointed out.

"Mémère!" Teddy shouted, "Mémère, come here!"

"Oh-" Andromeda looked from the stove to the doorway.

"I can finish the tea," Harry said.

Andromeda nodded. "Don't make it too strong, dear," she said as she hurried back into the living room.

Harry grabbed his cellphone and tapped in Draco's phone number. Using the contacts would have been faster, but part of him like having the number memorised.

"Hi... What do you mean, who is it? No one else calls you," Harry said.

He rolled his eyes at the reply, "Tiffy only texts. She hates talking on the phone."

Harry leaned his hip against the counter, "I'm at Andromeda's- Yes-" He sighed. "This isn't about whether or now you remembered or not-"

The kettle began whistling, and Harry pinned the phone awkwardly between his shoulder and ear as he turned off the heat.

"Andromeda- No, listen for a second, would you?" Harry said, "Andromeda is worried that Dobby and Meribelle aren't being treated well at- ...I know. I know. I tried to tell her."

He filled the teapot and dropped a tea bag in.

"I think, if she met you, then she'd understand-" Harry said and then stopped to roll his eyes again, "I do want her to meet you but not because she's your aunt. Not everything is about you-" He laughed and shook his head, "Because we're dating, and her and Teddy are important to me." His smile grew, and he teased, "Yes, it's all about me."

Harry grabbed the tea cosy from the counter and slid it over the teapot to keep it warm while it steeped.

"Why not come over?" Harry asked, "Your schedule is so packed, is it? So many prior engagements-" he laughed, "Sorry, sorry-"

"Everything alright in there?" Andromeda called from the living room.

"Just steeping the tea!" Harry called back. "No, sorry, didn't mean to yell into the phone I was just-"

"Not too strong, dear!" Andromeda called, "Not everyone likes it as black as you do."

Harry covered the phone before calling back, "Okay!"

He pulled the tea cosy off and squinted at the light brown water, "What do you suppose not too strong looks like? ....'Darker than piss water', thank you, you're ever so helpful, Draco."

He lifted the tea bag out and let it drip for a second.

"You're hilarious," Harry said flatly, grinning in amusement, "So, you should come over. Yes, now. We can get it sorted all at once, pull off the plaster sort of- ...Of course, you didn't have plasters. You missed out on how great scabs are... No, I-" His smile grew, "It's a kid thing." Harry laughed, "Try it then! Next time you have a cut- I'll help you then. Next time we go out, we can pick up everything at the store, and I'll show you how it all works."

Harry tossed the teabag into the sink and only belatedly remembered to vanish it.

"I can apparate over in a second and-" Harry shook his head, "My side-alongs aren't that bad-"

He winced and moved the phone away from his ear.

"Okay, okay," Harry mouthed a silent 'whatever'. "Floo then- What? You don't need to get dressed up. It's not fancy- Socks? Yeah, you should probably wear socks? And- Yes, you need to wear a shirt." He frowned, "What were you doing that you didn't have-?" A laugh bubbled out of him, "You just woke up. I- What? ...It's nearly three! What does it being Saturday have anything to do with-"

"Is the tea done, Harry?" Andromeda asked, stepping back into the kitchen.

Harry nodded, quickly putting the lid and tea cosy back on the pot as Andromeda levitated the tray up and out.

Harry followed after her, "Uh, Andy? Can Draco come over, and can he use your floo?"

The tray set down on the coffee table a little too heavily, making everything clatter, "...Who?"

"Draco?" Harry held up his phone, "Malfoy? I want you two to meet and clear up any misunderstandings."

"Why?" Andromeda said.

Harry blinked, "Oh. Right, uh..." he winced, "I'm dating him?"

For a moment Andromeda just stared at him, her face entirely still as if she had been petrified. "I see," She blinked, "Well, why didn't you say so before?"

"Sorry, forgot," Harry said.

Andromeda sighed faintly, "If you like him enough to be dating, then I should like to meet him."

"Mister Draco, is coming over?!" Dobby told Teddy excitedly, "Mister Draco is so funny."

"You mustn't tease Mr Draco too much, Dobby," Meribelle said.

"Mum said I should. Mum said I should be mean to him," Dobby said.

Meribelle pinched the bridge of her nose and said carefully, "I think your mum meant that Mr Draco values our honesty and prefers us to act however we wish. And Asbestos prefers to be-"

"Mean! But not to us, because we're special," Dobby said, clapping their hands.

"Yes," Meribelle smiled fondly, "we are her most special."

Andromeda looked from the two house elves to Harry with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, he's- he's something," Harry said.

He told Draco Andromeda's floo address and opened the grate. A few minutes later, the fireplace flared green, and Draco stepped out, his pink hair still slightly sleep mussed.

"What are you wearing?" Harry said in dismay.

Draco grinned. "Très chic, non?" he said and struck a pose, pointing a toe to better display the leg of his pyjama's which was covered in a pattern of lightning bolts, round glasses, snitches and wands.

"Where- where did you even get those?" Harry said in dismay.

"Weasley's Wheezes, of course," Draco said proudly, "They are the only ones you allow to use your name and image on things."

Harry broke into giggles just trying to imagine Draco in the shop buying them. "Wait. Wait. Who was at the till?"

"Oh, you wish!" Draco narrowed his eyes, "It was embarrassing enough without knowing the person selling it to me. But it was entirely worth it. My father won't even look at me when I'm wearing them."

Harry snorted in delight, "Of course."

"Mama? Can I get one of those?" Dobby asked, pointing at the sleep pants.

"Oh no," Harry said.

"Oh, yes. I shall buy you all the harry potter merch you desire," Draco said, "You're so small, it might have to be a t-shirt. I think they have ones with Potter's face on them."

"Can I have one too?!" Teddy asked. His hair had already turned a bright bubblegum pink to mimic Draco's.

"Oh no," Harry groaned.

"Absolutely!" Draco said, utterly delighted. "We shall start a fan club."

"No. No, you won't," Harry said.

Draco stuck his bottom lip out in a fake pout.

Harry firmly shook his head.

They both turned at a soft laugh from behind them.

Andromeda was covering her mouth with one hand, looking amused and also strangely sad.

Draco straightened up, "Hello. Apologies for not introducing myself right away; I'm Draco Malfoy."

"And I am Andromeda Tonks," Andromeda said with a bittersweet smile, "Nympha- Tonks, my daughter, she would have liked you."

"Do you think so?" Draco said, looking pleased.

Andromeda smiled, "You have a lot in common. Such as giving your parents a hard time."

"You must admit, mine entirely deserve it," Draco said.

"Your father for sure," Harry said.

Draco frowned at him.

"What? I kinda like your mum. She's not all that bad," Harry said.

"You've met with Narcissa?" Andromeda said.

"Yeah, a few times. The first time, I crashed a family dinner and faked a marriage proposal with Draco," Harry said with a grin.

Andromeda's eyebrows rose.

"It was delightful," Draco said.

Andromeda laughed lightly and patted the spot beside her on the couch, "Come. Let's have tea and talk."

"And juice!" Teddy said.

Andromeda sighed, "And juice."

Harry stepped into the lift and pressed the button for level three, Magical Accidents and Catastrophe.

"Good morning, Ava," Harry said as he stepped out.

"Morning, Harry Potter," Ava said.

"You don't have to say my whole name every time," Harry said.

"I know," Ava said. "I like how uncomfortable it makes you."

"Are you and Draco friends yet? Because I feel like you'd get on like a house on fire," Harry said.

Ava rolled her eyes and waved him off.

Harry headed down to the end of the hallway, where a new office had been put in big enough for two desks.

"You're late," Draco said without looking up from his desk.

Harry shrugged off his jacket and dropped it on his desk, "Ten minutes isn't late."

"I beg to differ," Draco said.

Harry grabbed his chair, dragging it around to the other side of Draco's desk and sat in front. Draco's desk was crowded with magazines, pens, paper and all sorts of other mess. Harry's desk had nothing on it because he never used it. "I thought we were caught up on paperwork."

"We have an assignment," Draco was writing LIAR in big capitals on a piece of paper.

"Hermione was here?" Harry asked, folding his arms on the edge of the desk.

"An assignment from me," Draco said, looking up and raising an eyebrow, "I am the senior partner here."

Harry snorted, "You only worked for two days more than me."

"So?" Draco said.

Harry laughed and leaned forward, "What's our assignment then?"

"The Ministry loves an acronym-"

"No kidding," Harry said.

"- and yet, we don't have one," Draco said.

"Well, we can't have that," Harry said sarcastically.

"Even though our name is perfectly suited for an acronym," Draco went on, ignoring him. "It's just four letters and-"

"You don't count the 'S' then?" Harry asked.

Draco glared at him.

"It's 'Liar'S' Department," Harry said.

"The OWL's and NEWT's have apostrophe es-S, and those aren't included in their acronym," Draco said, "Ordinary Wizard Levels SisssiissSisss."

Harry laughed.

Draco narrowed his eyes.

Harry grinned, "I know you were trying to mock me, but you just said 'butthole' in parseltongue."

Draco frowned, "SssisSisss. Is that-"

"Nope," Harry shook his head, "That was nonsense."

"What was it then?" Draco asked.

Harry sighed and grabbed a green pencil, scribbling a snake onto a scrap of paper and then squinting at it until it was blurry enough to trick his brain into doing what he wanted, "SisssiissSisss. That's- " He looked up at Draco, who was suddenly looking rather pale, "...Bad memories?"

Draco nodded silently, his throat bobbing as he swallowed painfully.

Harry reached across the desk and caught a lock of Draco's hair between his fingers, giving it a tug, "I think the colour is starting to fade finally. It's less bubblegum pink and more a pastelly pink now."

Draco looked cross-eyed at Harry's hand.

"It lasted forever. If you bottled that, you could make a fortune," Harry said.

Draco caught Harry's wrist, "What are you doing?"

"Distracting you," Harry said. "Is it working?"

"You are beyond annoying," Draco said.

"So it is working," Harry said with a grin, letting go of Draco's hair.

Draco absently kept hold of Harry's hand as he put them back on the desk, brushing his thumb over Harry's palm.

"Hey, Draco."

"What?" Draco said suspiciously.

"Just say 'Salas Suirup'," Harry said.

Draco narrowed his eyes, "Why?"

"Because it sounds like 'Fart Eater' in parseltongue," Harry said.

Draco slowly grinned, "Salas Suirup."

"And if you say it in the poncy way he did." Harry mimicked Suirup's slippery voice, "Salas Suirup, it sounds like Fart Taster."

"Taster?" Draco raised an eyebrow, "How refined."

Harry laughed, "I thought the same thing!"

"Salas Suirup, Salas Suirup," Draco said, his voice low and inappropriately seductive for someone just saying fart eater, fart taster.

Harry winced and laughed despite himself, "Ugh, don't say it like that!"

Draco squeezed Harry's hand and leaned forward, his voice dropping to a whisper, "Salas Salas Salas Salas-"

Harry laughed even harder, feeling all of five years old. He pulled his hand free and pressed it over Draco's mouth. "Stop saying 'fart.' You're the worst!"

He felt Draco smile against his palm.

They sat back as a crack of apparition announced Asbestos' arrival. She took her coffee monstrosity out of the drinks carrier first, something rainbow coloured with edible glitter on the swirl of whipped cream on top, before pushing it onto the desk.

Harry looked at his drink suspiciously, "I don't suppose it's just a mocha?"

"Nope," Asbestos said.

"You never do this to Draco," Harry said, taking a tiny sip. It tasted like cherry and white chocolate.

"He pays me," Asbestos said, walking over to her small desk in the corner. She had draped a blanket over the top of it and filled the underneath with pillows. She curled into the pillow pile, opened a book nearly as big as her, and started reading, happily ignoring them.

Harry nodded in resignation. At least the drink wasn't so sweet it made his teeth hurt.

Draco tapped the paper, "Focus, Potter, we have work."

"Mmhmm, very important work," Harry said. "So what? Do we just think up words that start with the 'liar' letters and shove them together into something that sounds halfway decent?"

Draco narrowed his eyes, "We shall brainstorm a brilliant acronym to complement the department name. Something that will look impressive on a business card."

"You just want to have cool business cards," Harry said.

"Would you rather have business cards that just say 'Liar's Department?'" Draco said.

"I don't think we need business cards," Harry said.

"Of course we do," Draco said, "I already have the cases picked out. They're silver-plated with engraved monograms."

Harry snickered, "Alright. Let's make something brilliant then."

They got a couple dictionaries and spent the next hour just looking for good words that started with the right letters and making lists.

"Legal is a good start," Draco absently, "Or Laudable," Draco said.

"Laudable seems a bit full of ourselves," Harry said.

Draco sighed, "It does lack gravitas."

"What about Labour or Lawful? They're both good," Harry said.

"Not Labour."

"Lacks gravitas?" Harry asked.

"Exactly," Draco said.

Harry laughed.

"At least we're narrowing it down," Draco said.

There was the briefest of knocks on the door before it opened and Hermione came in, looking harried as usual.

"Good, you're still here," Hermione said in relief.

"Is there a job?" Harry asked.

Hermione shook her head, "I was worried the two of you would have left for lunch already before I could speak with you."

"Hello to you too, Miss Granger," Draco said with a beatific smile.

Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Cut it out. I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work."

"You're no fun anymore," Draco said.

"Yet somehow you're just as annoying," Hermione said.

"It's a gift," Draco said.

"A curse, more-like. Wait-" Hermione shook her head, "No. I said cut it out. I don't have all day to argue with you."

"I like to think of it as banter," Draco said.

"Banter is in the eye of the beholder," Harry said.

"Both of you. Shut up." Hermione said.

Harry did his best not to laugh.

Draco didn't.

"I have a few things I need to talk with you about," Hermione said, "First off, we need to get your hours worked out."

"You've said that before, and nothing happened," Harry said.

"Well, this time, I've set up a meeting with the Obliviator's so we can work out a schedule between our two departments. It's first thing monday morning, so don't be late."

"That's not an issue for me," Draco said.

Harry rolled his eyes at Draco, "Ten minutes is not-"

"Not even ten minutes," Hermione said firmly, "In fact, I expect you fifteen minutes early that day."

Harry groaned, "Why do we even have to be there? Can't you just sort it out and then tell us what to do?"

"Don't you want to have any input on your own schedule?" Hermione said.

"Not if it means going to a meeting," Harry said.

Draco snorted in amusement.

"I don't really care what days we work," Harry said.

"What about Sundays at the Burrow?" Hermione said, putting her hands on her hips.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Yeah? You know about that, though."

Hermione sighed. "You'll be there in case something comes up so that we only have to have one meeting and can sort it out all at once."

Draco leaned across the desk and whispered, "I'll bring coloured pencils."

Harry grinned.

"I heard that," Hermione said.

"We shall try not to be disruptive to the rest of the class, Miss Granger," Draco said sweetly.

Hermione narrowed her eyes.

"What else did you have to tell us?" Harry asked quickly before they could start bickering. He knew Draco enjoyed it and he suspected Hermione had a bit of fun when they really got going, but the bickering occasionally still turned mean and Harry would rather avoid that if possible.

Hermione pushed an errant curl behind her ear, "Well, regardless of your schedule, you'll both switch to being on-call for at least one day, maybe two."

"And what's that mean?" Harry asked.

"That you'll come into the office three or four days, and for the rest of the week, you'll be on call for any incidents that happen outside normal working hours. We'll get something like the DA coins that can notify you of a job and act as emergency port keys."

"Hopefully, with a delay," Draco said, "I'd hate to show up at a scene in my pants."

"At least it would distract everyone from whatever the magic was," Harry said.

"I've always wanted to be a streaker," Draco said with a grin.

"We'll work out the fine details later," Hermione said exasperated, "and then maybe you can get some actual work done."

"We are working!" Draco said.

Hermione's look said she did not believe him for a second.

"We're working out an acronym for 'Liar'," Harry said.

"To give the department more gravitas," Draco said.

Hermione sighed and came over to the side of the desk, "I would settle for not being laughed at whenever I tell anyone what the department is called. What do you have?"

Draco put his hand over the paper, "We haven't finished yet."

"Just tell me what you have so far," Hermione said.

Draco gave her a grumpy look, pulling the paper close to him so she couldn't read over his shoulder, "We have Legal Incident Alternative to Removal-"

"Awkward," Hermione said.

"-Legal Invention of Alternative Realities-"

"Hmmm..."

"-And Laudable Information Alternative to Removal."

"I mean, the second works the best, but it's basically the same thing as 'The Liar's Department'," Hermione said. "The 'Alternative to Removal' part is good; just find a better L and I."

"You say that as if it's so easy," Harry said.

"It will keep you busy at least," Hermione said with a grin.

"Umm, hello?" there was a light tap on the door frame, "We're here."

Hermione turned, "That's right, we have new transfers." She gestured to the door where two very familiar figures were standing. "You might know them; they were Juniors in the Aurors. This is Kalya and Eric-"

"Eric?" Harry interrupted, "Eric? It doesn't start with J? It doesn't even sound like J."

Draco positively cackled.

Kalya and Junior Eric looked confused.

"I... don't even want to know," Hermione said. "Just take these two on all your calls this week so they can see how things work and decide if they want to transfer in permanently. And try not to scare them off."

"They've already been on most of our calls. If that didn't scare them off, nothing will," Draco said.

Kalya laughed.

"We thought it looked interesting," Eric said meekly.

"That's everything," Hermione said, heading towards the door, then stopped and turned around, "No, there's one more thing. Molly wants to meet Malfoy."

"What?" Harry said.

"Molly Weasley?" Draco said faintly.

"Ron was supposed to tell you, but he begged me to do it," Hermione rolled her eyes. "You should bring him to sunday dinner-"

"With all the Weasley's?" Draco said in dismay.

"It might dilute his whole-" Hermione waved a hand absently, "-everything. That's all, see you later."

"Bye, Hermione," Harry said as Hermione left, giving them a distracted wave as she hurried back to work.

"I think I might be ill on sunday," Draco said.

"You'll be fine," Harry said.

"Very, very ill," Draco insisted.

"I had dinner with your father, and you can't tell me he wouldn't happily murder me if he thought he could get away with it," Harry said.

"At least you know," Draco bemoaned, "I don't know how many Weasley's want me dead."

"None," Harry said.

"Lies," Draco said.

"I'm not saying that some of them don't want to beat the piss out of you, but none of them want to actually kill you-"

"Uh, what should we do?" Kalya asked, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Draco sighed, "Asbestos, fetch two more chairs, would you?"

Asbestos blew a raspberry at them and apparated away.

Eric looked concerned.

"That's just how she is," Draco said.

Harry waved for them to come closer, "Grab a dictionary. We're making up a new acronym for Liar."

"To give the department more gravitas," Draco said.

"Gravitas," Harry echoed.

Kalya and Eric looked at one another and cautiously grinned.