He was going to be helpful; Harry told himself the next morning. That was why he transferred, to help Malfoy and Hermione. He repeated it himself that over and over again on his way to the office.

"Good Morning, Auror Potter!" Malfoy said cheerfully shoving a suit on a hanger in Harry's face as soon as he opened the door.

Harry sighed, pushing the suit down.

Malfoy was grinning.

"Really?" Harry said.

Malfoy nodded, "Asbestos has already charmed the suit against wrinkles, stains, tears and whatever else-"

"No," Asbestos interrupted, "Asbestos had Killi do the charming because Killi is house elf and Asbestos is secretary elf. Secretary elves delegate."

"Quite right. Excellent work, Asbestos," Malfoy said.

Asbestos was wearing a little sailor's suit with a white shirt and blue tie and blue shorts. She had included the little sailor hat perched between her ears and a pair of shiny black shoes.

"Err... nice outfit?" Harry told her.

"Asbestos knows, that is why I wore it," Asbestos said.

"Auror Potter," Malfoy said, sing-songy and impatient, "Time to change into your uniform."

"It's Harry," Harry said, grabbing the hanger from Malfoy as he tried to shove it in his face again. "...Fine, fine. I'll go change."

He took the hanger to the loos, which were thankfully empty so he could change without any gawkers. Malfoy had included a pair of shoes, black patent leather and mirror shiny. Harry had been kind of hoping he could keep wearing his tennis shoes.

He made a pile of clothes on the counter as he stripped off his and started putting on the suit, which of course had a dress shirt and waistcoat. He tied the tie without really thinking about it, buttoning the jacket up, before even bothering to look in the mirror.

Harry blinked, looking from his face to the figure below it, the broad shoulders tapering down to a narrow waist and straight legs. His face just didn't fit with, it didn't seem like- Harry's mind ground to a stop.

...

In...

In his mind... Harry had this image of himself that was... that was too thin, knobbily and gawky like he didn't quite fit into his own skin right. He understood other people looking attractive, but he'd never been able to see himself that way...

Until now.

He took his wand out and tried to charm the mirror bigger so he could see all of himself, but nothing happened.

"I'm charm proof, I'm afraid," the mirror said with a lilting genderless voice.

Harry startled, "Oh! Uh, a talking mirror. I didn't think the Ministry had those."

"I wouldn't know. I don't exactly get around," the mirror said sarcastically.

"Sorry," Harry said.

"It's fine. I don't usually talk much myself, there's nothing much to comment on around here- most of the time. But you clean up quite nicely," the mirror said thoughtfully. "You'll want the seam of your jacket right on the top of your shoulders, it's riding a bit forward."

Harry tugged the jacket down a fraction.

"Mhmm. And your sleeve is a little twisted, and you'll want to have your shirt pulled slightly out of your cuffs, just a touch," The mirror said.

Harry did as the mirror said, watching his reflection as he did, recognising some of the little fussy movements Malfoy was always doing that Harry had thought of as snobbish.

"Now your hair-"

"My hair's a lost cause," Harry said ruefully.

The mirror sighed at him, "There's a difference between a mess and an intentionally messy look, darling. First, get your hair damp."

Harry hesitated.

"Come on. It will be worth it, I promise," the mirror said.

Harry turned on the tap and ran wet hands through his rebellious curls.

"There should be a tin of sleek-easy on the shelf by the door," The mirror said.

"But it's not mine-" Harry tried to protest.

"You'll only need a little, the size of a pea. Leave a knut if you're really that worried about it," the mirror said.

He did, feeling a bit ridiculous but unwilling to steal someone elses things.

"Now what?" Harry asked.

"Like this," the mirror said, and then Harry's reflection began to move on its own, brushing the sleek-easy over his fingers and then working it carefully into his hair.

The mirror winked with a coy grin, strange to see on his own face, that startled Harry into belatedly and awkwardly copying the mirror once it went back to reflecting him properly. When Harry caught up, his reflection carefully began to comb his fingers through his hair with more purpose. The mirror swept his hair to one side and scrunching the hair up, making it curl more, mussing it slightly, so it looked effortlessly attractive, like something from a fancy advert.

Harry knew he'd never manage something that good, but once his refection was reflecting him once again, he did his best.

"You look divine, darling," the mirror said, "You can come back and see me anytime, it would be a delight to assist you again."

"Thanks," Harry said awkwardly, and was halfway out the door before he remembered he forgot his clothes and went back to grab them off the counter.

Harry shrank his clothes down and put them in his pocket. He stopped in front of the office door, hesitating before going in. Harry checked that his tie and cuffs, straightening them nervously, not sure why he was nervous only it seemed important right then that he look as good as possible.

"Took you long en-" Malfoy said as the door swung open only for the words to die in his throat as he stared.

Malfoy's eyes were wide, searching over Harry like he was trying to memorise him.

It made Harry feel too warm and strangely pleased.

Malfoy made a noise in the back of this throat and sucked in a breath. When he looked away, Harry could see that his ears were bright red.

"You...are so unfair," Malfoy said softly.

Harry closed the door to the office, "I guess, you were right about the suit."

Malfoy blinked, coming back to himself, "Of course I was."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Have you ever considered growing a beard?" Malfoy said.

"What? No," Harry said.

"Not a long one, just a nice tight cropped beard," Malfoy leaned forward on his desk.

Harry sighed, "Still no and I'm only here for six days, I'm not growing a beard. I hate how itchy it feels."

"We're wizards, you incompetent, I can brew you up a hair growth potion in an hour," Malfoy said.

"What part of no did you miss?" Harry asked.

"You don't have to keep it," Malfoy said, "Just try it, and there are beard oils if itchiness is such a problem."

"Is it part of my uniform?" Harry asked sarcastically.

Malfoy sat back with a pouty frown, "No."

"That's what I thought," Harry said.

"It would help though," Malfoy said.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "How exactly does a beard help with lying?"

"It's about-"

"You are so full of shit," Harry said.

"It's about giving off an air of authority," Malfoy said.

"Authority," Harry repeated.

"Yes, Auror Potter" Malfoy said, "you need-"

"Harry," Harry said.

"so very much stupid," Asbestos muttered.

Malfoy scowled at him, "The most essential component of this job isn't the lying, Auror Potter, it's getting people to believe the lie, and for that you need to be authoritative, confident, and-"

"You need to be full of yourself," Harry said, "I think you have enough of that for both of us."

Malfoy scoffed, "I've never met someone as infuriatingly self-righteous as you are."

"I am not self-" Harry started to say, but was cut off by the door slamming open and having to jump back to avoid getting a face full of splinters.

"What in the world do you think you're doing, Malfoy!" A familiar voice yelled from the other side of the door.

"Working, Sir Syrup," Malfoy said.

"You should be grateful I allowed you to have this job," Suirup said, Harry could just imagine his moustache bristling.

"I am very grateful for the opportunity," Malfoy said, sounding not quite genuine.

"No one would give someone like you a second chance, but I have and you-"

The corner of Malfoy's mouth twitched up, and he caught Harry's eye for just a second as if to say this is going to be fun.

Harry sighed, fighting down a smile.

"-You should not be drawing unnecessary attention to yourself!" Suirup said, shaking a piece of paper at Malfoy.

"I'm afraid my job requires me to become the centre of attention," Malfoy said with the relaxed cat smile of someone who is shamelessly and effortlessly riling someone else up.

"Out there!" Suirup said, sweeping his hand, "Here! Here you are to keep out of sight and out of trouble!"

"What sort of trouble have I caused?" Malfoy asked.

"After the move! After the move, you have to notify interdepartmental services!" Suirup said.

"I did," Malfoy said.

"Immediately! Without delay! Or I wouldn't have received this!" Suirup said, shaking the paper again.

Harry grabbed the edge of the door and pulled it back, "It's the supervisor's responsibility to report such things-"

Suirup startled backwards, running into the door frame and nearly falling over.

"-that's why I sent it to you, Sir, as the supervisor of the Liars Department," Harry said.

"I- I- well! I-," Suirup clung onto the doorframe as he stuttered, "I would have, was going to- It- It must have slipped my mind! I- I- I am very busy, you know! I oversee a great deal in the Wizengamont!"

"Then perhaps, Sir, you ought to reduce your workload. Such hard work does no one any good if it is done poorly or not at all," Harry said.

Suirup's face went red, his white waxed moustache like a little boat on a sea of crimson.

"Delegate. Or transfer your work," Harry said, "That would be my suggestion."

"I- I will have no bad word said of my work! I am the head of the Wizengamont project approval committee and Ministry Purchasing Officer! I am a respected member of the Wizengamont! As my father was and grandfather and great-grandfather before him!" Suirup bristled.

"Then do better, and I won't have to," Harry said flatly.

Suirup straightened up, twisting one side of his moustache to sharpen the point, his face still as red as a tomato. His voice came out at a waver, shaking faintly with rage, "If you will excuse me."

"Of course," Harry said with a polite smile, "You're so busy after all."

Suirup drew his shoulders back and stormed off without further farewells; and Harry closed the office door once more behind him, sagging against it as the adrenaline he had been running on drained out of him.

Malfoy was clapping, slowly, with a huge shit-eating grin on his face, "Brutal, Auror Potter. An absolute slaughter. And much better than your little lecture in the pub, since you're word actually means something in the Ministry."

Harry snorted, "What? Not much."

"The future Head Auror, Harry Potter? I can't imagine anyone going against you," Malfoy said.

Harry shook his head, "What? No? I don't-"

"Everyone knows it. Robards and Kingsley are behind you, along with about half the Wizengamont, the ones who know what's good for them anyway," Malfoy said.

Harry frowned, a sinking feeling in his gut.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, "Seriously, Auror Potter-?"

"Harry," Harry muttered.

"-I've only been working here for three days, and everyone hates me, and I still heard the rumours," Malfoy said.

"There is work," Asbestos said.

"People really think that?" Harry asked.

"More like know. It's a foregone conclusion," Malfoy said. He looked at Harry with a frown, "You really didn't know?"

"How was I supposed to know that! No one tells me anything!" Harry said.

Malfoy grinned, "So many things make sense now. In school, I thought you knew the kind of power you had and enjoyed pretending to be humble about it. After the last few days, I'm entirely certain you're just a bit stupid."

"Hey!"

"There is work now!" Asbestos said.

"Fine, fine, how about just extremely unobservant," Malfoy said.

"Don't act like you're being generous," Harry said.

"But I am so very generous, in every aspect of my life," Malfoy said, leaning back in his chair.

"Especially at being a wanker," Harry said.

Malfoy winked at him, "A generous wanker."

Asbestos sighed loudly and flicked her hand. The door snapped back open, smacking Harry in the side. A paper aeroplane sailed over his head as he cursed in pain and landed neatly on Malfoy's desk.

Malfoy snatched it up and unfolded it, "It's... what is this?" he held the memo out to Harry.

Harry glared at him, snatching the paper and reading over it, "Oh, an ASM."

"I can read. What does it mean?" Malfoy asked.

"Apparition Seen by Muggle," Harry said, "It's our most common call. We need to hurry though, it's a TMM."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes.

Harry grinned, "Too Many Muggles, they can't lock down the area. Until we get there, they'll try to isolate the muggles to keep them from causing too much of a scene."

Malfoy stood up with a nod, "Asbestos, fetch the machines."

Asbestos snapped her fingers, disappearing and then reappearing a few seconds later with two black boxes.

Malfoy came around the desk, taking them from her, "Excellent. Now go ahead of us and scope out the muggles in question, we shall follow momentarily."

"Where?" Asbestos asked.

"The Natural History Museum in London," Malfoy said, showing Asbestos the memo.

Asbestos studied the paper for a second, gave a sarcastic salute and apparated away.

"Is that a good idea? What if she's seen?" Harry asked.

"She's perfectly capable of casting a disillusionment spell. A house elf is never seen unless they want to be," Malfoy said.

"But she's not a house elf, she's a secretary elf who tends to do whatever she wants," Harry said.

"My point still stands," Malfoy said, "Can you apparate us to the museum?"

Harry nodded, "We need to go up and check the auror's map, it shows all the secluded apparition locations in a city."

They headed to the lifts.

"Oh, that sounds very useful," Malfoy said.

Harry nodded.

"I want one," Malfoy said.

"You probably should have one for this kind of work," Harry said.

"Yes. But also, I want one," Malfoy said.

Harry rolled his eyes.

They stepped into the lift, hitting the button for level two and Malfoy pushed one of the black boxes into Harry's hands, "Here."

"What is it?" Harry asked, turning it over in his hands. It had two buttons, a knob and a small screen.

"It beeps," Malfoy said.

"That doesn't tell me what it does," Harry said.

"It beeps," Malfoy said, "It's for show, Auror Potter. Do keep up."

"Harry," Harry said, pushing a button. The screen on top lit up with a red line that wiggled back and forth as he turned the dial the box began to beep, first slow and then with more urgency.

Malfoy pushed the button again, turning it off.

Harry shook his head, his ears ringing faintly from the shrill sound. He slipped the noise box into his pocket.

"Come on, we are meant to be going quickly, yes?" Malfoy said.

Harry wanted to roll his eyes again, but Malfoy grabbed his arm and towed him out of the lift even though he had no idea where to go.

Harry pushed past Malfoy, walking through the auror cubicles to the back corner where the map and auror apparition zone was. He gave an absent-minded nod to the new Junior Aurors Kalya and James? Jack... Justin? As he passed them.

Kalya let out a startled squeak, "A-Auror Potter?"

The half the papers in Justin's arms cascaded on to the floor, his mouth hanging open. Then he blushed, his whole face turning red.

Malfoy slapped the remaining forms out of Justin's hands as he passed, glaring at the young auror.

"Malfoy!" Harry said, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to the map.

"Draco," Draco said mockingly.

Harry sighed, tracing a finger over the map, "You're never going to get people to like you if you do things like that, Draco."

"I don't care if they like me," Malfoy said with a pouty frown.

"Bullshit," Harry said. "Come on, there's an alleyway a block from the museum that the aurors on scene already used. Oh, by the way, I'm pretty shit at side-along."

"What?" Malfoy said in alarm.

Harry squeezed Malfoy's arm, stepping into the gap between the wards and apparated them out of the Ministry.

Malfoy staggered and leaned heavily against the brick wall, looking even paler than usual, "...fucking hell."

"Warned you," Harry said.

"One second is not a warning," Malfoy snapped.

"It's not like more time would have made it less awful," Harry said. "Come on, we've got to hurry. I hope you have a plan."

"Of course I have a plan," Malfoy said, pushing himself off the wall and straightening his sleeves as he followed Harry out onto the street towards the museum. "What I want to know is who gave you an apparition licence. Because I'd like to owl them a dung bomb."

"No one," Harry said.

Malfoy stared at him for several seconds, "...Pardon?"

Harry grinned, "No one. I never passed the exam."

"And they just let you-" Malfoy waved a hand vaguely.

"Yup," Harry said.

Malfoy laughed, "Merlin's beard, every time you apparate an alarm must go off in the licencing office!"

Harry frowned reluctantly, he hadn't thought of that.

"Don't get all noble about it," Malfoy said, walking a little closer so he could bump his shoulder against Harry's, "If they wanted to do something about it, they would. They probably have a specific alarm just for you, Auror Potter-"

"Harry," Harry said.

"-and every time it goes off," Malfoy went on ignoring him, "someone looks up and goes, 'Ah, there goes our saviour, recklessly apparating about and making people feel horribly ill when he side-alongs them'."

Harry bumped his shoulder back with a glare which, made Malfoy laugh again and mollified some of Harry's annoyance.

They became more sombre and serious as they entered the museum. The first building had been built in 1870, and the carved stone archways and tall ornate ceilings felt more like a church than a museum, every step echoing on the polished stone floors.

"Where is Asbestos..." Malfoy said under his breath, looking around, "I should have told her to meet us somewhere..."

They slowly walked through the entrance hall underneath the skeleton of a blue whale hanging from the ceiling, forever swimming in invisible ocean currents long gone. Harry looked in each alcove around the room, searching for any sign of Asbestos.

A small child was standing alone in front of a glass case of petrified tree stumps—a small child wearing a little sailor outfit with shiny black shoes and a little sailor hat. The hat was perched on top of a comical amount of blond curls which just barely hid Asbestos' large ears.

"Oh, no," Harry said in dismay.

"Ah, you found her," Malfoy grinned with obvious amusement. "Where in the world did you find that wig, Asbestos?"

"Stole it," Asbestos said flatly, "Aurors this way." she turned on her heel, heading out of the hall without any interest or concern that they were following her.

Malfoy leaned close to Harry, murmuring in his ear, "Just follow my lead."

A shiver went down Harry's spine, and he glared at Malfoy, rubbing his ear.

Malfoy grinned.

They heard the muggles in question long before they saw them. Two auror's had managed to keep them in a side hallway leading to the loos, but their voices carried through the open, airy ceilings. As they got closer, the general shouting became words they could actually make out.

"You're not listening to me," A shrill older woman said, "I saw a man disappear."

"Would you like to report a kidnapping?" An older man said. Harry recognized it as belonging to an auror he had worked with a few times before, he was fond of playing slow and thick until the muggle gave up in frustration. It worked often enough that he never bothered to try anything else.

"No. We don't know who it was. Listen. Listen. He walked down the hallway and disappeared!" A different older woman said, her voice low and rough from smoking.

"Disappeared? A man disappeared?" Draco said, sounding entirely enthralled as they came into the hallway, "Tell me everything you saw."

Harry caught the auror's eye and gave him a subtle nod which he returned and took a few careful steps back out of the conversation.

"Finally." The shrill woman said, she had short white hair, tightly curled and wore a pink dress with blue flowers on it, "I was just walking past and Edith said to me 'look at that strange fellow'."

"He very odd, Anna," Edith said, she had grey hair, pulled back into a neat bun, she was wearing a blue dress with pink flowers, but Edith's pink and blue were just different enough from Anna's that it made Harry's eyes hurt to look at them side by side.

"So I turned and looked-" Anna said.

"He was wearing a green dress," Edith said.

"It was not a dress, Edith, it was a robe," Anna said.

Edith nodded, "Yes, yes, like a bathrobe."

"Not a bathrobe," Anna said annoyed, "A robe like- like one for a play, for dress-up, nonsense clothes."

"I suppose... it looked like a bathrobe to me..." Edith said doubtfully.

Malfoy had taken out a notebook and looked to be dutifully writing down everything they were saying.

"He went down this hallway, right here," Anna pointed down the end of the hallway.

"Like he was going to use the bathroom," Edith added.

"But instead, he disappeared," Anna said, "Into thin air! I saw it with my own eyes!"

Edith nodded solemnly.

"A corporeal apparition!" Malfoy said. He spun to Harry excitedly, "Check the hallway for EMF readings."

Harry gave Malfoy a very brief look of dismay before walking down the hallway. He fumbled out the noise box and turned it on, fiddling with the dial as he got closer to the end so it beeped with more urgency.

"What are the readings?" Malfoy called.

"High!" Harry guessed.

This seemed right because Malfoy only got more excited, "Any temperature changes?"

Harry nodded.

"Cold?" Malfoy asked.

"Very cold," Harry said flatly, turning off the box.

"My god," Malfoy said dramatically.

"What in the world are you on about?" Anna asked, annoyed that Malfoy was stealing her drama.

Harry came back over to them, "This is very exciting," he tried to sound like he meant it.

Malfoy shot him a look that said he didn't quite manage it.

"Is it exciting?" Edith asked.

"Why of course," Malfoy said, "You saw an apparition, a ghost."

"Ooo," Edith said.

Anna frowned, her entire mood shifting.

"Could you describe what the man looked like? What he was wearing exactly?" Malfoy asked. "A robe might be victorian or even medieval-"

"Possibly a monk," Harry suggested, which got him an approving look.

Anna set her hands on her hips, "Or just a man with no sense in a bathrobe."

"Wait until Martha hears about this, we saw an honest to goodness ghost," Edith said excitedly.

"There's no such thing as ghosts," Anna said.

Edith tsked, "Oh, but you saw-"

"I saw a man in a bathrobe go into the restroom, that's all," Anna said, "I certainly didn't see a ghost. What sort of foolish nonsense-"

"He vanished, Anna! I saw it as well!" Edith said.

"Oh, pish," Anna said, waving the entire idea off, "I've never heard such a thing. He just went into the restroom."

"I didn't see him go into the restroom! I didn't see the door open-"

"Well, your eyes aren't what they used to be, Edith."

Edith shook a finger at Anna, "Don't you go talking about my eyes, I've seen the glasses you have to wear-"

"Reading glasses." Anna said, "I can see everything else just fine."

"Ha! You wish!" Edith said.

Malfoy caught Harry's eye, and they left the little hallway, the two women continuing to argue behind them.

"That went well. Not as I expected, but still quite well," Malfoy said.

Harry headed to the aurors standing next to the entrance of the room.

"Situation resolved?" the older Auror asked.

The young Junior Auror he was working with kept looking from Harry to Malfoy as if she couldn't quite decide who to look at.

"Completely," Malfoy said.

"We'll have the paperwork sent to admin by the end of the day," Harry said.

"Job well done, then," the Auror nodded and headed towards the exit, his Junior lagging behind as she glanced over her shoulder to peek at them until she was out of sight.

"Shall we head back to the office?" Harry asked.

Malfoy set off in the opposite direction, "I want to look at the elephants."

"I- what?" Harry followed in confusion as Malfoy headed straight towards a large hall that was indeed full of elephants, different species and older relatives and fossils, amongst a plethora of other animals.

Malfoy stopped in front of the model of the baby elephant.

"Why are we looking at elephants?" Harry asked him.

Malfoy looked over at him, "I like elephants."

"You do?" Harry said.

"They're massive but very gentle. I'd like to see one someday," Malfoy said.

"So go to the zoo," Harry said.

Malfoy sighed, "Not like that. I want to meet an elephant, properly."

"They're not people," Harry said

"No, they're better," Malfoy walked around to the glass displays of other animals on the edge of the room, going slowly so he could look around as he went.

"I mean if that's true, then most animals are better than people," Harry said.

"I agree entirely," Malfoy said.

Harry sighed, "That's not that I meant-"

"I know. Don't care," Malfoy said. "Why don't you want to be Head Auror?"

"What?"

"You heard me," Malfoy said.

"Well... I," Harry frowned, "I had never really thought about it before today. I mean, the Head Auror mostly does paperwork and schedules and management..."

"Things that would drive you up the wall. I can't imagine you content at a desk for long" Malfoy said.

Harry nodded, "Yeah, exactly. Like if I was older, like forty or fifty and ready for it. Then- then it'd be alright. And if- If I wanted it, you know?"

Malfoy stopped and looked over at him, pinning him in place with his eyes, "Not exactly. Tell me."

Harry shifted his weight, feeling strangely fidgety, "Like, I wanted to be an auror and being a Junior was... boring most of the time, but I was learning, and I knew I'd be promoted when I had earned it and that- that was what I wanted. I hadn't even thought past that..."

Harry ducked his head, absently running his hand through his hair, "...Then I found out I'd been promoted because I was Harry Potter. And because they want to promote me to Senior, and then Head Auror, I guess. None of it is because I'm the best for the job. I don't have the knowledge or experience or anything-!"

"You have power," Malfoy said. "A man with as much legacy and political influence as you would be able to do anything with the department he wanted."

Harry closed his eyes.

"In fact," Malfoy went on," If I were a cynical man, and I am, I'd say that you having no experience is exactly what they want. You'll be desperate for guidance, and that will make you easier to manipulate."

Harry heard Malfoy turn towards him.

"If that's true, then all you have to do is figure out what you want," Malfoy said.

"Ha," Harry said, "As if it's that's easy."

"I wouldn't say it is. But if you don't know they will just continue to decide for you," Malfoy said.

"And what did you decide you wanted?" Harry asked, feeling irritable.

Malfoy blinked, his expression suddenly hesitant, "...I'd appreciate if you didn't laugh."

"I won't."

"I want to be happy," Malfoy said.

Harry felt disappointed for some reason, like he had been hoping Malfoy's answer would help point him in the right direction, "Isn't that what everyone wants?"

"I don't know what other people want. To be frank, I don't care," Malfoy said.

"Then what is being happy for you?" Harry asked, "Is it your car? Driving? Doing- What did you do before you got this job anyway?"

"Whatever I wanted," Malfoy said.

"Yes, but what-"

"I rather like this horse," Malfoy said, "The way its posed on one leg really gives it a sense of movement."

Harry glanced over at the display of a horse in full gallop, only one foot on the ground. He honestly didn't care. He hadn't been paying any attention to the displays at all. When Harry looked back, Malfoy was walking toward the centre of the main room.

"Malfoy-!"

"Draco," Malfoy sing-songed.

"I answered your questions," Harry said, nearly running to keep up, "So answer mine."

"What if I don't want to?" Malfoy said, stopping so Harry almost ran into him.

"That's not fair!"

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, "I have no interest in being fair."

"What?" Harry said frowning.

"You heard me," Malfoy said.

"You-" Harry raised a pointed finger.

"Excuse me! Gentlemen!"

They both turned to find a thin woman in a grey suit with a short blond bob heading towards them. She was holding Asbestos' hand. Asbestos had a lollypop in her other hand and was smiling like an absolute bastard.

"Excuse me, is this your daughter? She seems to have gotten lost," Grey suit said.

Malfoy smiled beatifically, and Harry sensed that some bullshit was about to happen.

"Asbestos! There you are, sweetheart," Malfoy said, "I told you not to move on to a different room without us."

Asbestos stuck out her tongue.

"Her- Her name is Asbestos?" Grey suit said.

"I just loved the way it sounded and when we adopted our sweet little girl, I just thought it was the perfect fit," Malfoy said, without an ounce of sarcasm.

Grey suit managed a stiff smile, "Yes... It's very- very unique."

Everything about this was stupid, but... Harry had to admit it was kind of funny.

Asbestos let go of grey suit's hand and came over to Harry, holding up the sucker, "Open."

Harry hesitated and then decided, what the fuck, and played along, "Say 'please'."

Asbestos looked him dead in the eye, "Please, Daddy."

Harry wanted to die a little bit inside. He took the lollipop, pulled off the wrapper and handed it back to Asbestos.

Malfoy sighed, "I'm not sure she should have sugar right before lunch."

"Oh, I'm sorry about the candy. I'm Susan, by the way," Susan said, "I was worried she was scared by herself and I- well, to be honest, I'm not great with crying children, so I always carry a few around with me in my bag. Mostly for my nieces and nephews, but it comes in handy in times like these."

"Oh it's fine," Malfoy said with a put-upon sigh.

"My brother-in-law, well he's a decent man in most respects, of course." Susan gave a little social laugh, "But I really don't hold with any of his ideas about, well- I think it's marvellous that people of your- like you, are having families. Studies say you're just as good of parents if not better in some respects and of course, there are so many children up for adoption. It's so wonderful that they can have a family that loves them, no matter how... unique they are compared to most."

Harry glanced over at Malfoy and found his smile had gone brittle.

Malfoy stepped closer to Harry, resting his hand on Harry's lower back as he stared coolly at Susan. "Harry and I think it's very important to raise our children to be aware of the bias' in our society, and the value all people, especially those that are unique or different from her."

Susan blinked, the meaning of Malfoy's words taking a moment to register and bringing with them an indignant expression, "I didn't mean it that way.-"

Asbestos pulled the sucker out of her mouth with an obnoxiously loud pop, "Hey,"

"-I am very open-minded. I'll have you know that my cousin is gay and I think her and her wife are wonderful people-"

"Hey!" Asbestos threw the lollipop at Susan. It bounced off her forehead and got caught in her hair, "He said; you're a cunt. fuck off."

Susan gaped at Asbestos, before looking back at Malfoy and Harry, "How- How dare you! You- You-!" she shook a finger at them, "I was trying to be nice!"

"Try harder," Asbestos said.

"Why you little monster-!" Susan snapped.

Someone gasped. As Susan turned, a mother quickly towed her sons away from her with a disapproving glare. An older couple shook their heads at her. A security guard straightened up and called, "Are you alright, little girl?"

Asbestos latched onto Harry's hand, crying in a wavering falsetto, "This lady said mean things about my daddies! She called me a monster!"

The security guard came over, "Ma'am, could you come with me."

"I- I-! She called me a cunt!" Susan said.

Asbestos stuck out her lower lip and sniffled theatrically.

"Ma'am, you need to come with me and leave these people alone," The security guard said more firmly.

"I- Fine," Susan said coldly, following the security guard out of the room.

"Cunt," Asbestos muttered. She pulled a lollipop out of her pocket and pulled off the wrapper, sticking it in her mouth.

"Did she give you two?" Malfoy asked, stepping away from Harry.

"Stole it," Asbestos said.

Malfoy snorted, "Let's go to lunch. There are some lovely cafes nearby." He headed toward the doors only to stop when he realised Harry wasn't following him, "Auror Potter?"

"You called me Harry, earlier," Harry said.

"Yes? It would have ruined the ruse to call you Auror Potter," Malfoy said.

"You could've just called me Paul or- or Jack," Harry said.

Malfoy rolled his eyes, "Come on. Let's get something to eat."

Harry joined Malfoy, following him out of the museum. He could still feel the ghost of Malfoy's touch on his back.

Harry couldn't concentrate. Malfoy talked all through lunch, mostly about lunch, but Harry couldn't remember a word of what he said. He kept having to stop himself from touching his back, and he didn't know why.

Harry had put his hand on Ginny's back when they had dated briefly after the war, especially when they were out in public. It had felt protective and a little possessive, a way to link them together and to say 'I am here'. But it had never been the other way around, not exactly. Ginny would sometimes put her arm around his shoulders or out her hand in his back pocket, but it hadn't felt like that.

And he couldn't understand why he kept thinking about it.

After they ate Malfoy dragged them back to the museum.

"This way! I love the bird displays," Malfoy said, sounding like an excited kid.

Harry followed, trying not to look bored.

"Look, it's you," Malfoy said, stopping to point at a model of a dodo bird.

Harry sighed, "Very funny."

"Lighten up, Auror Potter-"

"Harry," Harry said.

"-it's interesting. Don't you find it interesting?" Malfoy asked.

Harry shrugged half-heartedly, "It's the natural history museum. Everyone's been to it at least once for a school trip. Not you obviously."

"And what's so awful about a school trip to such an interesting place?" Malfoy said.

"I don't know, I spent most of the time avoiding my cousin Dudley. Anytime the teacher looked away, he would smack me upside the head or try to trip me while we were walking," Harry said.

"The cad isn't here now, so put in some effort, will you?" Malfoy said.

"Sure thing," Harry said without an ounce of enthusiasm.

"Now I'm rather disappointed Hogwarts never had any school trips," Malfoy said.

"Like where? Does the wizarding world even have museums?" Harry asked.

"There are some in Europe, and of course muggles have set up some on magical sites," Malfoy said.

"Like what?"

"Stonehenge is an ancient ritual site, Pinkie was a battlefield not only between Scotland and England but about a hundred years earlier it was one of the first major battles of the Goblin Rebellions. The Mermaid Pool in High peaks was once a portal to the fae realm before they were all closed. I could go on for days." Malfoy said.

"Where did you learn all this stuff?" Harry asked.

"History of Magic. Binns never talked about the muggle connections, but I've gone to visit quite a few of them, and there are informational plaques everywhere, so I've picked up the muggle history as well."

"You could just not read them," Harry said.

"Why wouldn't you?" Malfoy said.

"They're dead boring?" Harry said.

Malfoy made an expression at him like he was utterly barmy. It looked remarkably familiar to the one Hermione used whenever he didn't grasp her love of some minute academic interest.

"Well, I might have actually remembered a bit more from History of Magic if we'd gone to the places Binn's droned on about."

"Exactly," Malfoy said.

"Shouldn't you be back at the office in case a job comes in?" Harry asked Asbestos, who was still tagging along.

"Asbestos set up wards," Asbestos said.

"I could have done that," Harry said.

"Didn't, did you?" Asbestos said.

Harry hadn't. "You should take over my job. You'd probably be better at it."

"Yes," Asbestos said, "Don't want it though. I would end up being Secretary elf and Liar elf at same time. Not worth it."

"You said earlier that 'Apparition Spotted by Muggle' is your most common call," Malfoy said, "Is that all you do? Hide magic from muggles?"

"Well-" Harry started to answer. "Wait. No, I know this trick. Last time you asked something, I told you and then you wouldn't answer my question."

"Oh, so you're going to be obnoxious about it?" Malfoy said.

Harry raised an eyebrow as if to say, 'I'm being the obnoxious one here?'

"Oh alright, fine," Malfoy said, waving a hand, "Ask me something then."

"Answer what I asked before; what makes you happy?" Harry asked.

Malfoy sighed at him, "Really? You think that's an easy question? You think I can sum up my years-long, nebulous goal, of which I'm not entirely sure of, in a pithy little anecdote, do you?"

"Well-"

"Rejected," Malfoy said, "Ask something else."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Alright... Then...um..."

"Come on, Auror Potter, I don't have all day," Malfoy said.

"Harry," Harry said, "And what demanding appointment do you have to keep exactly? Looking at the elephants again?"

"Shut up and ask a question," Malfoy said.

"Fine. You- You said you hired on this lad Trev to teach you to drive-"

"Yes?" Malfoy said suspiciously.

"So how did you meet him?" Harry asked.

Malfoy shifted his weight, looking annoyed, "When he came to my house to teach me how to drive."

"That's not what I meant. I meant, how did you hire him? Like did you just wander around a university asking random people to teach you to drive?"

"No, of course not," Malfoy said as if that was entirely preposterous. "I had my assistant arrange it."

"Who-"

Asbestos raised her hand.

"Asbestos was my personal assistant before I made her the Liar's Department's secretary," Malfoy said.

"Same job," Asbestos said.

"Not necessarily-"

Asbestos nodded, "Asbestos is pretty sure, as she is the one doing it, that they are the same job."

"Fine, fine. How did you go about finding Trev, anyway?" Malfoy asked Asbestos.

"I put fliers on notice boards. Lots and lots of notice boards," Asbestos nodded to herself, "Put: Stupid rich boy needs driving instructor."

"I'm not stupid," Malfoy said.

Asbestos stared at him flatly.

Malfoy changed his mind, "Well, it's probably best to cover all bases."

"What? You're not, though," Harry said, "stupid, I mean."

Malfoy smiled, "How sweet. I'm flattered. However, at the time, I was a complete dullard when it came to anything and everything muggle, so it's probably for the best that he very low expectations."

"And you met him, for the first time, when he came to give you driving lessons," Harry said doubtfully.

"In retrospect, it was quite remarkable anyone applied. I don't have a muggle phone, so there was just an address to send in an application. I didn't even know if he was qualified, I didn't understand any of the things on his cv," Malfoy said.

"So you just picked him at random then? Pulled his name out of the pile?" Harry said.

"Oh, no. Trev was the only one who applied. He got the job by default," Malfoy said, "He told me later that he was pretty sure it was a coin flip between making a lot of money or being hunted in the woods for sport."

Harry laughed.

"Now that that's out of the way, answer my question," Malfoy said.

"About what Auror's do?" Harry said and then sighed, "Yeah, most of our work involves protecting the statute of secrecy. Muggles are everywhere and have cameras in their pockets now with cellphones and wizards aren't careful. Hermione says the Ministry needs to do some huge public education campaigns but they probably won't until there's an incident they can't cove-up."

"And here I thought being an auror would be all fighting dark wizards and breaking up illegal potion rings," Malfoy said.

"So did I and it was right after the war. Once all of Voldemort's followers were cleared up, things quieted down. Now, something big only happens a few times a year," Harry said.

"Don't sound too disappointed," Malfoy teased.

Harry made a face at him. "I know, I know. Hermione's always telling me, real life isn't like some sort of police procedural. If we had something happening every week, half the magic population would be in jail in a couple years. And that nothing bad happening is a sign that people are doing well. Sometimes crime is just greed or trying to get power, but most of the time its people who are poor and desperate, so it's good that people are happy."

"You're just bored out of your mind," Malfoy said with a grin.

Harry wanted to sigh again. It wasn't something he'd admit to Ron and Hermione but, "...Yeah."

"Isn't a museum better than a pile of paperwork?" Malfoy said.

"Again? You're not going to make me like the museum," Harry said.

"Alright, what if we just look and don't read anything, would that help?" Malfoy asked.

Harry shrugged, "I guess, probably."

Malfoy smiled and grabbed his elbow, pulling him down the hallway, "Come look at the hummingbird display. It's wonderful."

When they came back to the office, Harry got stuck with filling out the form for the job they did early in the day.

"Why can't Asbestos do this?" Harry asked crankily, sitting in front of the desk.

"Because if you stay late the Ministry they have to pay overtime. If Asbestos stays late, I have to pay overtime," Malfoy said, "And she's meticulous with her timekeeping."

"Down to the knut," Asbestos said.

"What?" Harry frowned, "What do you care about money? Aren't you trying to waste it annoy your father?"

"True." Malfoy said, "I mostly just want to bother you."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because I can. My father isn't going anywhere. This is a limited time opportunity," Malfoy said flippantly. He gave Harry a wave, "See you tomorrow, Auror Potter!"

"It's Harry!" Harry called, even as Malfoy shut the door in his face.

Harry grumbled under his breath even as he grabbed a blank AD 45-O form and started filling out.

He wanted to ask Ron and Hermione for advice. But then he would have to explain everything. Which would mean telling them about Malfoy right after they both told him to leave Malfoy alone.

Harry charmed the form into a paper aeroplane and opened the door, sending it sailing towards the Auror's department. And caught an entirely different aeroplane as it came into the office. He was worried a late assignment had come in, but it turned out to be a note from Ron.

'Hey, Harry. Don't bother looking for me or Hermione. The ministry potion audit I'm doing ran late, and Hermione's work suddenly got crazy. You can floo-call us later if something comes up. -Ron'

Harry sighed and went home.