19 sweet goodness gracious mother of the holy pearl

It’s Tuesday. A very nice Tuesday by the looks of it. The sky is clear of any clouds for once, and the air is warm with a slight sweetness to it. I don’t know what time it is exactly, but I know its past lunch because I’ve already fed the kids two meals.

My right leg gets a splash of pool water. Giggling mixes with the loud chuckles from Derek. The whole gang is swimming around like little mermaids. I close my eyes again and pull down on the edge of my swimsuit cover-up. It’s a little blue dress that perfectly hides my black and gold bathing suit number underneath.

“Aren’t you coming in?” Ben hollers.

“Lena’s tired,” I call back lazily. I wiggle around on my lounge chair to get even more comfortable. “Maybe later.”

“But we leave in three days,” Ben whines.

Thank god for that.

I feel someone tapping on my arm. I peak open an eyelid. Cade is standing there with a half inflated water wing. He holds the thing out to me with a pout on his lips.

“I told you not to purposely let the air out of these,” I say and take the water toy from him.

“I know,” he sighs.

I put the water wing to my mouth and inflate it like a balloon. Just as I’m tugging it back on Cade’s arm there’s a sound coming from the house.

“Mister Gallows,” Mo Stash calls out. He’s standing in the doorway to the house with a phone held to his chest. He glances at me before quickly looking away. I assume he’s still a bit nervous around me… ever since I picked him up by the collar in a fit of rage last week.

I was dyed red, okay. I had the right to freak out.

Anyway, he’s calling for the kids’ dad. Derek immediately straightens up and hops out of the pool. I try to ignore the sad frowns on all three of his munchkins’ faces as he leaves to take a business call.

Derek presses the phone up against his face and talks into the microphone.

“Well that was fun while it lasted,” Abigail notes. She pulls herself up the ledge of the pool to splash her painted toes in the water. Her little teeny bopper bikini glitters with the bright sunlight.

I sigh.

Flopping my bare feet on the ground I start to pull my hair into a knot. The cement on my bare soles is hot as heck, so I rush to the pool side. I throw my cover-up dress behind me and jump into the chlorine drugged water.

The kids all laugh.

I come up from the bottom of the pool with water in my nose and my hair in a mess. Ben immediately starts to attack me with his Nerf gun, a stream of hot water jetting into my left ear. I duck out of his way to find myself in Abigail’s line of fire. She has her own gun, nailing me straight in the chest. I laugh while Cade starts to splash me pathetically, his little arms making nothing but ripples.

“Stop,” I laugh. I swallow a mouthful of water and then giggle out something like, “I surrender!”

“Never EVER!” Cade screams. “We never ever stop!”

I can’t stop cracking up like a laughing hyena. I throw my hands over my face for some protection against the jet streams of water that are being aimed at my face. Eventually I give up, floating to the bottom of the pool. I hold my breath and pinch my nose while I squint my eyes. From the floor of the glass pool I see Ben paddling towards me.

I frantically walk backwards. I can’t hold my breath any longer, so I come up gasping. Abigail doesn’t waste a second firing at me again. But this time Ben thinks it would be a great idea to hop on my back and cover my eyes with his hands.

“Get offa me you little maniac!” I holler over the loud pop music blaring.

“Not until you promise to let us have cake for dinner!” Abigail demands.

Cake? FOR DINNER? Okay, that’s actually worse than pizza. I never thought I would say this- but I would rather order a take away piece of round dough with sauce cheese.

I reach behind me frantically to try and pull my attacker from my shoulders. He’s a strong little bugger, though. I can’t get his left hand to unlatch from where he’s looped it under my armpit.

I open my mouth to holler something and I get a tasty mouth full of chlorine. I cough and sputter until I hear someone talking rather loudly from right above me:

“This looks like a fun game,” Liam Payne notes.

I spin around, finally able to slide Ben’s hands from my eyes. I blink up to where the sun is raining down onto Liam like an angel on earth. His hair sparkles with caramel shine and his eyes glisten like the water that soaks my skin. I swallow a lump in my throat while I try to form a solid thought… you know, the one besides “Sweet goodness gracious mother of the holy pearl this man is a glorious babe”.

I stutter, “Not fun for Lena.”

It’s lame but it’s all I can mutter.

“Cake for supper!” Cade screams, making me jump a bit because I’m startled. I was staring a bit too intensely at the man of my dreams.

I feel guilty for thinking anything so disgraceful since Niall and I’s relationship status is presently “It’s Complicated”.

My entire life is complicated to tell you the truth, honey cakes.

“Aww SWIMMING!” Louis Tomlinson hollers rather loudly. He comes out into the backyard and down the stairs of the porch with Harry at his heels.

Harry looks like shi-

Poo Poo. He looks like poo poo.

…

Harry doesn’t look good. He looks like he hasn’t seen daylight all week, quite honestly. His hair hasn’t been treated with a single drop of product and his eyes are pretty droopy. The bottom of his graphic t shirt is all wrinkled. And the socks that I can see above his shoes are two opposite colors: black and white.

We make eye contact. I raise my brow before he immediately stares at the back of Lou’s head.

“Can I join you?” Lou asks Abigail.

Abigail pauses to stop shooting me. While she tells him yeah I take the time to throw Ben into the water and jet out of the pool to gather myself. I stumble up the ladder while Ben snatches at my heels like a nipping Bichon Frise.

I get away from him on solid ground. I slip and trip.

Before this clumsy fool falls straight on her face, she’s caught by two strong hands. They’re soft on the palms and a bit rough on the knuckles: just as they should be. I follow up the tattooed forearms to the bulging arm muscles and find Liam Payne smiling at me. My heart melts.

I’ve fallen for this lad. Literally and figuratively. But mostly figuratively.

Our children will love to hear this story one day.

Liam helps me regain god posture and my squeaky voice thanks him.

“Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself before that big party on Friday,” He says.

“Oh wouldn’t that be a shame,” I say sarcastically. But I sound relatively sincere and no one gives my smart comment a second thought.

I hear Cade and Ben laughing with the always childish Louis. I turn around in time to see both little boys being thrown into the five foot section of the pool. Cade bobs to the top with his water wings and Ben paddles to the side to hold onto something while he laughs his booty off.

I roll my eyes.

A little drift of breeze gives me goose bumps on my chest. I realize with a start that I’m standing there practically naked. In a panic I rush to my lounge chair and throw a towel around myself. If there’s anything I hate more than phones its bathing suit season. Mostly because I hate swimming suits. Because I hate looking like this.

An odd song about second hand stores and popping tags comes on the radio. I roll my eyes yet again and cuddle into the cushions of my comfy chair: the one I’ve permanently marked as Lena’s property. Not that I ever plan to be in this Horror House again.

Liam takes a seat in the chair next to me. We have a great view of the pool with Harry, Lou, Abigail, Cade, and Ben all splashing around in. I casually tilt my head to the side to scratch the side of my neck to get a nicer view of Liam’s angelic face.

A phone rings.

Liam digs around in his pocket and pulls out a little tablet looking portable. He glances at the screen and lets it ring until it goes to voicemail.

“Who was that?”

God what is wrong with me? I’m so nosy!

“Oh just this girl,” Liam says with a wave.

I blink. This is my chance. I have a chance to ask. I can ask about his girlfriend without being weird.

“Your girlfriend?” I ask.

Liam looks over at me. He raises a fluffy eyebrow.

Shoot! SHOOT!

“Not that you know, you have to tell me about your personal life. It’s your business not mine. I mean, you could be dating Oprah Winfrey and I still wouldn’t have any rights to know.”

What the actual heck am I rambling about?!?

Liam’s laughter interrupts me abruptly. I stop flapping my big ole mouth and zip the lips. “No-not my girlfriend,” he tells me. He runs a hand through his hair causally before leaning back farther into his seat. “I don’t have one right now.”

“Oh,” I say softly. But on the inside I’m saying: “WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP BOOYAH BOOYAAAAH! OH YEAH OH YEAAH! LENA TIME! IT IS LEENA TIIME BABE!”

“That’s too bad,” I say.

“Not really,” Liam says. “I’m not looking for a girlfriend.”

That’s too bad.

“Why not?” I ask stupidly.

He shrugs. “There’s a lot going on right now, you know? Just gonna wait and see if the right girl comes along.”

I stare off at the pool absently. I can only think about how sad this conversation is making me. Like the sadness level of those animal shelter commercials and that Disney movie Bambie.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Liam asks. He must have noticed that far off expression I have.

I shake my head left and right. “Nothing. Just uh, thinking about how nice it is that you feel, erm, that you can share such… share personal things with me.”

That was pathetic.

I suck at the game of life.

“That’s what friends are for,” Liam says with a big grin.

I fake the worst grin back at him.

Great. THAT’S JUST GREAT. I’ve officially been friend zoned by Liam Freaking Payne of One Direction.