Leaning against the car I rubbed my cold hands for some semblance of warmth. The chilly morning only added to my cold feet. Not that I would ever accept it. Or rather not that I would ever say it out loud. I had accepted a lot of things to my self and conscience in the last two weeks alone than I had ever in my twenty six years of life so far.

She was supposed to come back to school today and I wanted to catch a glimpse of her before many others did. Something about seeing her first before anyone else did made me feel a certain sort of way. Like I wanted to catch her and absorb all her fresh energy for myself. Like the selfish ass I was.

I got back in to the vehicle and turned the heater back on. After that first visit that night, I went to see her twice under the pretense of student body meetings. Whether or not she saw through it I have no clue. But she was too smart to not notice. Glancing at the time in the dashboard I hoped any unforseen event wouldn't keep her away. I'd already lost so much of my sanity and started accepting and doing things I never would have under normal circumstances. Just when I thought she wasn't going to show up I caught sight of a grey car. A familiar tall and lean figure stepped out and walked around to open the passenger seat. That annoyingly over protective dude helped out a hobbling Zoya.

Weren't her wounds still healed?

He then bent at her feet to tie her shoelaces. I wanted him to stop hovering over her. He better step out of the radius of the air she breathes in and out or he'd have to deal with me. She saw me coming out of my car and paused, stopping her friend too in his tracks, much to his displeasure, I noticed. Her face then broke into a smile that would have stopped my breathing if it already wasn't hitched.

A part of me inside was disgusted with the rest of myself. What a fucking pussy you have become.

"Hi", her voice always had that melody. Something that moved like a musical note.

"Hey. I thought you wouldn't come".

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah. But still...", I trailed away. I couldn't remember the last time I was at such a loss for words. "Isn't your class in another five?" her eyes moved to my watch and back.

"Yeah. I just came. Ran a little late today".

"Then we'll not delay you any further", it wasn't Zoya who spoke this time. His tone wasn't rude, but it held plenty of offence and accusation directed at non other but myself.

"Shall we go? I'll walk you to Department L", I didn't miss how his eyes dsrted to me. He said it to me. Not her.

I watched him watch her. I knew that look. Men can immediately tell another man's mind with one look at his face. And it was pretty much obvious to me and completely oblivious to her how he thought of her. His eyes were full of concern and adoration as he looked down at her. And possessiveness when they turned to me.

I almost told him I could take her myself. I was headed there anyway. He wasn't from Department L. I was. But she agreed before I could interject. "I'll see you later then", she nodded at me and went with him. I watched her back with a pang of something in my heart. Something that I absolutely disliked.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
ZOYA

And so a routine formed. He met me at the parking lot each morning and walked me back in the evening. Our cars idled beside each other, pretty much like us throughout the day. I hung out with his friends often. We sat in empty classes speaking our hearts out from books to movies to food to stars to life. We sat across from each other during lunch. Who else sat where, I don't know. And I don't really care. Everything dissolved to thin air. It was just us. Me and him. Whether or not it was the same for him, I don't know. But what we had, I could feel it. I could breathe it. It was so palpable that I could touch it. And I wish I did. I wanted to clutch it closer and keep it for myself.

Thr lake became our favourite place. We spent all our free periods there. He would lie on his back and count the stars in the midday sky with his closed eyes. And I sat against a tree trunk, our tree, and watched him. Memorising his face. How short strands of his black fair fell on his for head. I memorised the contours of him arm wondering what they would feel like under my fingers.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing".

"Then why are you flushed scarlet?"

What?? How did he know? Could he see me? His eyes were still closed.

"I can't see you. But I don't have to see to know", I could hear the smugness in his voice. It made me blush deeper. My cheeks felt hot.

"There's something I've been thinking I want to tell you".

Silence.

Did he fall asleep?

"I'm listening".

"I have something I think you should know. But I don't know how you'll take it".