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It's where I wanted to go now. I need distance from all these crazy people who know Shezaad and I want to stop breathing the same air as he did. It did no good.

I got home safely and busied my self with whatever my hands could find to delay the task at hand.

I did pile after pile of laundry. I reorganised my spotlessly neat closet. I ironed enough clothes for the rest of the week and I fixed dinner.

Marinated steak with potatoes, bread, some sautéed sausages with tomatoes and onions and bell peppers.

Unfortunately it kept only my hands busy. My mind wandered a hundred miles per hour no matter how hard I tried to keep it at bay.

I had dinner while watching a movie, thought I have no clue whether it was action, thriller or comedy. I cleaned up and crawled to bed. And that's when the real deal began.

All the questions and what ifs screamed in my mind. It was late late late in the night when I drifted off to sleep, thoughts of chocolate and sparkling blue eyes swimming in my mind.

Should I chase you for something else then?

Tell me!

Tell me Zoya!

Should I chase you for something else then.

Tell me Zoya!

Tell me why you didn't make it to the meeting yesterday

Where were you yesterday

Tell me Zoya.

Should I chase you for something else then?

Should I chase you for something else then?

Should I chase you for something else then?

"AAAHHHH".

I sat bolt upright. Eyes wide and heart beating fast. It was dark. Not a sliver of light outside. My phone read 3am.

Not too long after I finally slept.

I sat up on bed with my head in hands and elbow on knees.

Shezaad Ahamed Sheroff.

Why did he do that? Why did he say that?

Should I chase you for something else then?

It meant a lot more.

I closed my eyes and yesterday morning flashed before me. His smoldering electric blue eyes, his stride, the way he prowled towards me like a predator, his very hard and muscular looking chest and his scent which overpowered everything, including my sanity and sensibility.

He is married Zoya!!

Here, in this dark room, devoid of any other presence but mine, I heard the voice in my head loud and clear.

Shezaad Sheroff is married. He has a woman. And no matter how shallow she is, his hand is promised to her. He will soon be hers to keep, hers to call.

Sleepyness left me. I curled into a tight ball. And hugged my knees in a fetal position. The whole thought of him being promised to someone made me feel dejected. Miserable even. And I shouldn't feel that. I didn't even know the guy dammit!!!

This feeling is not good. It's bad. It meant bad things. And it's so foreign to me that I don't know what to do or who me to talk to or if I should.

Winnie is out of question. That meant everyone else is out of question. It's not that I trusted her any less, it just didn't feel right in my gut to open up about it.

Who knows if I'll wake up hating him. You never know. Or next week, he might watch his friends bully someone and laugh and I might tear him to shreds. And Winnie would be hand over cheek saying, some dramatic nonsense that made no sense.

So I'd keep it to myself for now. On the other hand, even if I could, what will I tell anyone?

That I forgot to breathe when this guy came close??

Hahaha not happening in a zillion years, thank you very much.

Thought no one hasn't gotten that close.

And how will I face him tomorrow? Or later today, I don't really care about time no more.

I'm sure he would have some very interesting things to say. Be it teasing or gloating or both. It's no different than the walk of shame. I imagined being tomato faced before him.

Oh God!!!! How embarrassing!!!!!!

I covered my face. Here in this dark room I covered my face. I might have to get a niqaabi for college here after.

Again, Rona's vain doll like face flashed before me. Erasing the grin off my face.

I know exactly what I have to do. To make things right. To stop feeling this weird.

It wasn't going to be easy. It will take some time and effort. But I'll do it anyway. Heaving a sigh, I waited for sleep to consume me.

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Sleep fled to never return that night and in the morning I had humongous eye bags to cover.

I had already gulped two big mugs of coffee and still felt droopy.

How am I gonna drive like this?

I finally got to college despite it all. I stayed glued to my seat gripping the steering wheel too tightly. It gave me mixed emotions to think about what happened nearly twenty four hours ago at the same place.

SIGH!!!!

It's just life. I can deal with it. I've been through so much worse. This is nothing.

Well easier said than done. To my absolute dismay, the first person I ran into was........

DRUMROLL!!!!

I'll give you three very un-needed guesses for who it was.

I would never ever EVER say it out loud, but his shoulders looked so hard and firm I was taken over with an overwhelming emotion to bite it.

I know!!!!!!!!!! It's weird as fuck. But I really did feel it.

And I DID NOT say that!!!!!!!

His eyes lit up with amusement at the sight of me. I could almost guess his his next words.

Almost

He gave a lopsided grin. A one that evened out between a sarcasm and amusement with a pinch of gloat.

I stared at him. Neutral. Nonchalant. Dead pan.

Within seconds, his eyes were devoid of emotion.

"What?"

"What?" My voice displayed all the emotions on my face.

I saw confusion in his eyes. He wasn't expecting this response. He hoped to tease and watch  me flush and fluster at his words.

And if the situation was different maybe I would have played along with him.

If I wasn't who I am.

If he wasn't who he is.

If it wasn't this complicated.

If he wasn't promised to another.

"You...... Why are.... What happened with", he stumbled on his words.

A beat later he realized that he stuttered. I could tell that it had never happened to him before. And I believed that. Everything about him was so confident. It is hard to imagine him loosing his cool even for a bit.

Eve harder to think that I had something to do with it.

"Do you have anything to tell me?" I asked in a dead voice.

He looked at me with dead eyes before looking straight ahead.

"No".