Pls LISTEN TO THE SONG ABOVE FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!

"Angel what did you just do?!"

Two days later

We all sit next to his limp form, his chest barely rising. So many tubes are attached to him, so many inhuman sounds. Machines drilling their mean noises into my ears.

His hair and his skin have lost their once vibrant colors. Life barely visible. Everything is cold, everything is blue and dark.

It's painful seeing him like this.

It's worse to have Zac look at me with a disgusted look on his face through the glass door. None of us have showered or changed since we got here. I'm still in my dress, guilt heavier than lead on my shoulders.

Amber's a mess, she hasn't used in the past two days. Her eyes are bloodshot and the mist never lifts from her green irises. 

She was hurt the most, and it's all my fault. Ryan's in prison, without trial. He's been sentenced to life for just being alive and it's my fault too.

Guilt.

All I feel is guilt. It gnaws at my insides, devours me completely spitting me out only to start all over again.

I'm weak, I have a weak mind. 

I hurt those I love and for what? To suit my own selfish needs? To crave for attention when I feel there is none.

Zac hates me and he has every right to. 

I came into their lives and I just destroyed everything in my path.

How you may ask?

Well, where do I even begin.

~Two days ago

"Angel what did you just do?!" Zac's voice pulled me out of my trance. He stood over me and forced me with an iron grip on my arm. 

The signed papers dropping to the ground.

I winced in pain and try to steady myself.

He looked me dead in the eye, anger slowly rising.

The tears worsen and my sobs become much louder.

"Ryan was going to let us all go!" 

My head whips to the side sharply. I grit my teeth and place a trembling hand on my burning cheek. 

Shocked by the sudden impact, I gulp and try to recover from my pathetic state.

"What?" I muster all the courage in me to ask, my lip quivering.

"He doesn't deserve any of this. This was completely unnecessary. You both honestly are the dumbest people I have ever met!"

Why is he insulting me like this? Ryan's an asshole and he deserved to be punished.

"For starters, Rosalie was extremely delusional. Whatever she told you was probably untrue. Even if she has a child, it's not Ryan's! Besides what he did was ordered and he tried everything to redeem himself. He truly loved you Angel. He tried to get rid of Brandy but she kept coming back. The fact that you believed a complete stranger shows weak minded you are!"

I wipe the tears and sniff.

"He was willing to change for you. He chose you. I've been speaking with him for years, he tells me everything and most of it is about you. You should've given him a chance."

He sighs a breathy sigh and calms down a bit, "I know it's hard to hear the stuff he was doing to you but, he actually has a conscience and if you spent more time with him and listened you would see that. Amber and Asher are drug addicts, their heads aren't clear and Asher is seriously bipolar. So I don't even know why you told him in the first place."

But, that doesn't make any sense.

"I wanted to help all of you out, I-"

"You didn't know. You're extremely fragile and I get that. But if you would've waited longer, maybe you would've seen what really was in his heart. He didn't sleep a wink when you disappeared. He never rested, because he loves you. Besides, we didn't need your help. He was going to fix everything. It's Rose's fault that Ryan doesn't know about the baby, she is very manipulative. She should've reached out herself."

But, this is all too much. Rose deceived me?

Why?

Well it seems he's right about everything else, I am weak.

I didn't even know how fake my best friend was to me til I killed her.

My mom told me everyday just how weak I am. I guess after hearing that everyday your whole life, it becomes true some way or another.

I feel so stupid, for believing somebody so quickly. For being so gullible, so so stupid.

Asher beside me is barely holding onto life, the paramedics rush to him quickly and all of this happens too quickly.

I can barely think.

I messed things up badly.

All mafia's are known by the police, arresting powerful one's like Ryan would mean war that's why he's gotten away with everything he does.

Now that everything else has been taken away, there's no telling if he'll ever get out alive.

He's in a whole so deep, I doubt I'll be able to get him out.

That's just what I'm good at I guess. Messing things up.

I'm so sorry.

~Ryan

Another cold drop of water seeps in through my hair and onto my scalp.

My wrists feel as if they're going to be torn off by the rusty metal cuffed around them.

My toes scrape the ground, barely touching it. The cold rough concrete. 

Everything hurts. My abdomen is cut many times but it doesn't compare to the erythmatic designs on my back.

I wince from the pain just thinking about them, it's as if they keep opening with every small movement.

I've stopped trying to struggle. There's no way out for me.

I was whipped viciously, mercy never given to me by yours truly's own guards.

Not me, Alejandro.

He stands far from me, his sickening grin visible through the rusty bars of my cell. He walks in leisurely and leans against a wall.

He made sure that the best torture be given to me but he wouldn't dare administer it to me with his precious hands.

He sought a trained torturer for this task. 

Grime and blood run down dripping slowly, kissing the ground with a tiny drip sound.

It echoes throughout the empty dungeon.

He had this place picked out just for me I'm sure.

"I'm not going to kill you."

I spit out the blood which was lingering in my mouth from the previous beating, a tooth popping out.

He steps closer and shakes the chains, their suspense in the ceiling ends, I collapse painfully and abruptly to my knees.

They tug at my arms reminding me that there's no escape.

I groan half out of pain and half out of anger.

He clicks with his tongue looking bemused at my pain. He grabs my chin with a strong grip, his brown irises shining brightly.

"It's much more satisfying for me to torture you."

"Why?"I prod.

"You hurt my daughter."

I scoff and let out a small chuckle which startles him a bit.

"You've been wanting to do this your whole life."

He smirks slightly and stands straighter recalling the real reason behind all of this.

"Ah, yes. It was obvious was it not?"

"My factories never recovered after your last stunt two years ago."

I burnt down a whole chain of factories. But what does it hurt, he's a billionaire.

It was fun for a moment, before I realized just how dangerous he truly is.

I found out that he's Angel's dad. That's when I lost my shit. 

"My daughter matters most to me now."

Angel.

My eyes fall to the ground and a tear escapes.

I let out a breathy sigh, my heart dropping from the overwhelming weight.

She hurt me so badly, but I deserve it.

I hurt her first and she...she doesn't deserve the burdens that come with being with me.

We were barely together and somehow, I truly felt what love is. She made me feel whole. I was willing to give away the mafia just so we can be safe.

For the first time in my life, I felt happy with my life. I was about to throw it away when guilt walked in. 

I was so willing to tell the entire world my true feelings.

Just so that I could be with her. 

She makes me feel so dumb and weak and strong at the same time.

 It hurt at first when I learned how she betrayed me. Now it's just being so far apart from her. 

It's excruciating.

"She'll never find out about this. You are going to suffer just what I did when she was taken from me. You will rot in this cell and you'll watch as she marries another. You'll watch as she raises her own children. I bet that Liam boy will be suitable."

He walks out, his shadow retreats and the locking of the cell is my signal to finally succumb to the pain.

I sob, not daring to keep it in.

I'm broken,

There's nothing left now.

Loneliness came back to taunt me today.

Sadness came back to embrace me in her cruel arms.

Burning me like the fire from a furnace.

I just want to die.

I.

I can't live like this.

There's no point in living when there's nothing left to live for.

an/PLS VOTE AND COMMENT FOR CLEAR SKIN!!!!!!!!