It's like I've been falling for hours.

I'm turn over and over as I make my final descent.

The sky looks beautiful above me, the stars flickering slowly as each of them shine brightly illuminating the flaws of the world.

I'm one of them.

I await the impact that my body will make as it finally touches the ground.

Until then I'll just enjoy the view of the world coming closer to me.

The lights of occupied offices are turning on and soon the world will stop moving.

Just for a few minutes, enough to ask why.

Why I did this to myself.

Then I'll be forgotten,like an old book at the back of a shelf.

Nobody will bother to explore me and when they do, they'll be amazed.

The wind is becoming harsher as my momentum increases and the weight of gravity becomes heavier.

My heart rate begins to quicken and I'm faced back to back with the asphalt.

Memories of life rush through my mind like a tidal wave.

I try to remove them but they don't allow it.

They flood my brain relentlessly, graphically.

So realistic.

All the pain I've endured seeps in.

Ryan, my memories of love. 

All of our arguments and awkward encounters

What I'd do to bring them back.

To hear his soothing voice again.

His voice that'll make my heart beat and my palms sweat.

I take a deep breath

And try to calm myself

....

I make contact with something hard and wet and sink into it.

I open my eyes panic-stricken and look around this dark place.

A sharp pain fills my ankle and I try to scream but nothing comes out.

Am I dead?

Is this hell?

It sure smells terrible in here.

I flail my arms in attempt to reach the surface.

I push down many fat plastic bags and begin to realize what's happening.

I groan and after a series of struggles I mangye to sit up and I pinch my nose trying to kill the smell.

I notice a wet smelly noodle wrapped around my finger.

I try to hold in my lunch where it belongs. In my belly so it can be properly digested.

What the fuck?

The sky's a deep blood orange and where I am is quite dark.

I notice that I'm behind a building.

My hair and clothes are now soggy and I realize that the stench has now been transferred to me.

"EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!"I complain.

I shudder and nearly start crying at the mess I'm in.

"Can't I just fucking die in peace?!!!"I scream to no one kicking and flailing my arms all around.

I screamed again feeling the pain in my ankle rise again.

"Great!Now my leg is broken!For crying out loud!"

I fucking landed in a dumpster!

Why can't I just die in peace?!

Why do they make it seem so easy to kill themselves in movies?

You know?

They never tell you to watch out for dumpster, open ones might I add.

Annoyed and irritated with myself and the universe I decide to get out of the literal shit hole that I'm in.

I climb out and fall onto the asphalt painfully mumbling under my breath about how shitty the world is.

You know what?

I'm never committing suicide.

It's too hard a job.

Let me live my life and suffer for all the shit I've done to everybody that I've ever known.

I'd rather have somebody kill me.

Somebody please kill me!

I roll onto my back and groan. 

I drag myself up and lean against the dumpster.

That's when I feel a burning pain in my stomach right under left rib.

I laugh sarcastically and shake at the largeness of the shard.

It's the quarter size of a flipping window.

A small amount of blood is trickling out of the wound.

I also got this from the dumpster and my fall worsened it.

Some tears escape and the pain intensifies.

That's when I let it all out.

I'm such a failure.

I'm cripple and wounded.

Karma crippled me and decided to finish me off on her own terms.

I stink worse than the shit behind me and I might actually die a painful death after this.

Karma's a bitch you know?

I debate on whether to remove it or keep it in and decide it's best to.

Unless I wanna feel more pain and bleed out.

Okay.

With my back to the torture tin behind me I brace myself never letting go of my wound.

I get up slowly on my good foot.

"Aargh!"

I have to bite my lip in order to succeed.

I made it!

I balance myself and begin to limp to the busy streets ahead of me.

Down the short alleyway.

The cars passing by are quite loud and the people waling down the pavement are even louder. 

Cussing at everybody like no man's business.

As I walk like I crippled animal some people notice my state whispering to each other and walk away.

Some look at me with pity and some don't.

Karma's a bitch.

A few stop in front of me.

A man steps in front of me and asks me if I'm okay.

I have glass sticking out of my stomach and a broken leg!

Do I look okay to you?!!

Is what I wanted to say.

"No."

He supports me by holding onto my waist and the small of my back, I wince in pain.

"Sorry!sorry sorry!"I nod.

"You need to go to the hospital."

I shake my head in protest.

"No!!Please take me to this address."I tell him as he helps me walk to a taxi.

~later~

Are you sure you're okay?

The friendly man asked as I got out of the car.

"Yes, I'll be fine."I assured him.

He hesitated at first then told the driver to go.

I limp to the gate of Asher's mansion and try my best to get to the front of it and let myself in but I begin to feel dizzy and my vision becomes blurry.

"Oh for the love of potatoes..."

~later~

My eyes open and I groan groggily.

My head hurts real bad and I turn my head to see Mia looking at me upside down like an adorable puppy.

Her head resting on her arms as she's sitting on a chair by my bedside.

Looking right at me but something's off.

Her grey eyes have lost nearly all their vibrancy and she looks like she's been crying,

But before I could say anything she beat me to it.

"Angel why'd you do it?"

Confused and dazed I don't know what to say.

"Do what?"I asked.

"Why'd you try to kill yourself?"She asked calmly.

I panic, my heart racing and palms sweating.

"I..I..I would nev..never."I stammer.

Her lost look turns into one of despair as she sighs deeply.

"Why do you like lying to me?"She asks a tear escaping a single eye aesthetically.

She looks devastated.

And it hurts to see her like this.

"It's not like I like it. I don't want you to hurt that's all."

She slowly sits up straighter and I see her full form.

Her shocking full disheveled form.

She's a mess.

Her hair hasn't been brushed, her makeup isn't done.

She's wearing a dirty white shirt.

What has happened to my O.C.D queen?

"Then why'd you do it?"

I sighed heavily and tried to explain.

"Because I'm tired of hurting everybody around me. Ryan's dead, you're all hurt. Zac hasn't slept in days and you..."

She looks down and runs a hand through her hair.

"I've never seen you like this."I admit.

She huffs and crosses her arms.

"Well...it's cause I was worried about you. Don't you ever do that again!"She scolds.

I flinch and nod, my ass starting to clap again.

"Besides, Ryan's not dead."She says her smile forming.

I roll my eyes.

She's still so optimistic.

"Mia-"

"We found him an hour ago. He's in your father's dungeon."

My jaw dropped and my heart leapt in my chest.

"Really?!"I exclaimed forgetting that I have a whole in my chest.

I touch my bandaged side and sit up carefully.

"Well let's go get him!"

Wait...

My father's dungeon?

A/N-WHAT'D YOU THINK OF THAT?!