***

Tanghalian. Magkaharap sina Tonya at Korina sa hapag-kainan at nagsasalo sa pinakbet at pritong isda. Tumunog ang cellphone ng ginang na nakapatong sa mesa. Sandaling napasulyap si Tonya sa ina nang kunin nito ang cellphone para basahin ang mensahe.

Kumunot ang noo ng Mama niya habang nagbabasa. Malalaki ang lagok nito nang uminom ng tubig. Tumagilid at bumulong-bulong. Nakasimangot na nang humarap uli sa kanya.

"May text ang maarte mong nobyo," mataray na sabi nito.

Pinigilan niya ang sariling mangiti. Mukhang hindi pa nakaka-move on ang Mama niya sa nabuko nitong taktika ni Grey para lang makapasok sa bahay nila. Naalala niya ang pag-iingay ng Mama niya sa hapag-kainan nang kumain sila ng hapunan. Nang magpaalmusal kinabukasan at mag-usisa sa lagnat ng lalaki ay nag-aalburoto ito. Nagtalak hanggang sa makaalis ang nobyo.

Pero hindi naman siya sinabunutan. Hindi rin inginudngod si Grey.

"Ano po'ng sabi?" usisa niya.

Dalawang araw nang sa cellphone ng Mama niya nagte-text ng kung anu-ano si Grey dahil hindi pa rin siya pinapayagang gumamit ng cellphone. Hindi iyon ipinababasa ng ina sa kanya.

Uminom uli ito ng tubig.

"Itong sabi." Naglinis ito ng lalamunan. " 'Hi, Madame. Kumain na po ba si Tonya?' "

Pinigilan niya ang kilig na nagbabantang pasabunutan siya sa ina.

"Iyon lang po, Ma?"

May angil ang pagsasalita ng Mama niya. "Hindi. Mayro'n pa."

"Ano pa po?"

"Ginagawa akong mensahero nitong nobyo mo! 'Pag nakita ko uli ito ay lulumpuhin ko para hindi makapag-inarte!" mataas ang boses na sabi nito.

Nangiti siya sa hina-highblood na reaksyon ng ina. Ano kaya'ng sinabi ni Grey sa text nito? Hindi siya makapangahas na magtanong.

"I love you raw," masama ang loob na sabi ng ginang.

Hindi niya napigilan ang ngiti. Itinikom niya lang dahil sa matalas na tingin ni Mama Korina.

Tumunog uli ang hawak nito.

"May message uli, Ma," excited na sabi niya.

Masama ang hilatsa ng mukha nito pero binasa pa rin ang mensahe.

"Ewan ko sa inyo!" sabi nitong nanggigigil. "Sandali! Ire-reply ko itong tarantadong ito! Namimihasa na eh!"

Nakatawa lang siya sa ina habang nagta-type. Nag-reply ito nang ilang ulit bago tumunog nang sunod-sunod ang cellphone. Sandaling nagbasa ang Mama niya bago inihagis sa kanya ang gadget.

"Ikaw na ang magbasa! Nawalan na ako ng ganang kumain!" sabi nitong nagdadabog na tumayo at iniwan siya sa mesa.

Kinuha naman niya ang cellphone at binuksan ang mensahe ni Grey.

Received 12:31:05 p.m.
Good afternoon, Madame. Kumain na po ba si Tonya?
Makikisuyo po. Please tell your daughter, I love her. J

Reply
Manahimik ka diyan, Gregorio!

Received 12: 33: 48 p.m.
Makikisuyo po uli.
For Tonya:
Hi slowpoke. I'm with Adam at the airport. We're boarding
the flight to Berlin in a few minutes. Did you get the flowers
I sent you? Did you like them? Do you miss me? Are you eating?
I miss you.

Reply

MAHIYA KANG LALAKI KA. WAG MO AKONG GAWING
MENSAHERO NINYONG DALAWA!

Received 12:35:01 p.m.
I apologize, Madame. I just really miss your daughter.
BTW, I hope you like the other set of flowers I sent for you.
The hair curler, too.

Reply

Hindi ko nagustuhan! Ni hindi ko tiningnan! Hindi mo ako
makukuha sa suhol mo!

Received 12:35:06 p.m.
Please, accept it po. The curler set is a limited edition. And
it's in red—your favorite color.
- your son-in-law, Grey J

Reply
Hindi ka pakakasalan ng anak ko!

Reply from Grey
Sabi nga po. Because we want your blessings... muna. Po. J

Reply
Hindi ko ibibigay. Tapos!

Reply from Grey
I will still try my luck to get it. Po. J

Reply
Magtigil ka.

Received 12:39:04 p.m.
Quote for Madame Korina:
The 'good' mother,
with her fixed smile, her rigidity,
her goody-goody outlook,
her obsession with unnecessary hygiene,
is in fact, a fool.
It is the 'bad' mother,
unafraid of a joke and a glass of wine,
richly self-expressive, scornful of suburban values,
who is, in reality, good.
- Found something that really fits, Madame. J

Received 12:43:55 p.m.
Quote for Tonica:
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech
when words become superfluous.
You're good at tricking me. - Grey

Received 12:44:36 p.m.
Quote for Tonica:
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Hmm. Now I know why. ;) - Grey

Received 12:45:03 p.m.
Quote for Tonica:
Your words are my food, your breath my wine.
And I am always hungry. - Grey

Received 12:45:58 p.m.
I love you.

Received 12:46:59 p.m.
I miss you.

Received 12:47:05 p.m.
I really wish you are with me.

Received 12:47:16 p.m.
I'll be with you, soon.
I miss you. - Grey

Nakangiti siya sa pagbabasa ng mga text messages ni Grey. Sumilip siya sa gawi ng silid ng Mama niya. Tahimik. Mukhang hindi pa ito babalik sa mesa.

Sent 12:48:01 p.m.
Goryo! Si Tonya to...
Ang corny mo! :D

Sent 12:48:05 p.m.
Have a safe flight. I love you.
A Panda. --> (♥ó㉨ò)ﾉ♡
(nakita ko lang sa internet)

Bumalik na uli siya sa pagsubo nang tumunog ang cellphone.

Received 12:55:26 p.m.
We're boarding now, slowpoke. I really want to call you
but your mother might not like it.
Stay away from the internet while I'm away. If you can't,
just ignore internet posts about us. Don't read comments.
Don't watch late night show gossips (they're the worst).
Don't watch the weekend gossip show (they're doomed).
Miss me. Love me. Think of me.
I will be back before you know it.
I love you. J

Reply
I will. Think of me, too.
I love you. <(^_^)>

Natahimik na ang cellphone.

Paulit-ulit na binasa ni Tonya ang mga mensahe na ipinadala ni Grey para sa kanya. Ang sabi sa internet, 19-33 hours daw ang layo ng Berlin sa Maynila, depende sa connecting flights. Nauuna raw ng pitong oras ang Pilipinas kaysa sa Berlin. Ang alam niya, mawawala si Grey ng sampung araw.

At nananalangin siya, na sana nga, sampung araw lang iyon.

***

Berlin, Germany. Dinner.

"It's been a long time since we had a meal together. Yes?"

Napatingin si Grey sa lalaking katapat sa mesa. Malamig ang ekspresyon sa mata ni William Garcia. He was slicing his steak with ease. Katabi nito ang asawang si Marian na paminsan-minsan ay napapatingin din sa kanya. William and Marian are Noreen's parents. At sa tagal ng panahon na hindi sila nagkita, sa kabila ng pag-edad ng mga ito ay galante at mabini pa ring kumilos.

"Yes, Tito," sagot niya. "We haven't seen or talked to each other for a long time. I'm sorry about that."

Napasulyap siya sa inang katabi niya at kasama rin sa mesa. Kontento ang ngiti nito. Two hours ago, he woke up with Pearl in his hotel room, forcing him to dress up for dinner to meet Noreen's parents. Si Adam ay sa ibang restaurant kumain.

At mula nang magkita-kita sila ay may nakabiting tensyon sa pagitan nila. He was sure they knew about him and Noreen breaking up.

"Fortunately, Noreen can't join us for dinner. Pardon her. The fashion show she's organizing started late."

Fortunately. He noted the scorn in Willy's voice. Hindi siya kumibo.

"You know... she just started to eat and work again after her depression over your break-up."

"Pa..." masuyong tawag ni Marian sa asawa, "Can't it wait?"

Madilim ang mukha ni Willy. Ni hindi ito sumulyap sa asawa.

"No, dear."

"Marian," sabi ng ina sa kaedad, "will you join me for a little wine? In my hotel room?"

Naiilang ang mukha ng babae nang tumango sa ina. Tumayo ang mga ito at bago umalis ay—

"Grey," ani ni Tita Marian nang humawak sa braso niya, "be patient with him."

Matipid siyang ngumiti. "I will be okay, Tita."

Nang mawala ang dalawang babae at maiwan sila sa mesa ay tumigil sa pagkain si Willy. Matigas ang mga anggulo sa mukha nito. He meant straight talks.

"Of course you will be okay," madiin ang bawat salitang binibitiwan ng lalaki. "You just broke my daughter's heart. And you have a newfound love."

"I'm sorry, Tito," nagawa niyang sabihin nang tuwid dito. "I have no excuses for that."

Nagtaas ng kamay ang lalaki para tumawag ng waiter. Alak ang in-order nito.

Nang dumating ang bote ng bourbon ay saka ito nagpatuloy.

"Why did you do that, Grey? I trusted you! I did not intervene when Noreen waited for you. I did not intervene with the two of you until you separated six years ago. What happened?!"

"I'm sorry, Tito. I didn't want to break her heart—"

"If that's true, you shouldn't have fallen in love so easily! How could you meet and fall for another girl just like that and took her for granted!"

"It's not about me falling in love so easily, Tito. Six years is a long time. For six years, I kept Noreen in my heart. I thought of her. Planned things with her on my mind. I didn't mean to fall in love with another."

"You fell in love at the cost of my daughter's heart! You broke her, Grey!" Humigpit ang hawak ng lalaki sa basong may alak. "I saw my daughter almost dying because of you. She saved herself just for you! Waited to come back to you! Hindi mo siya dapat na pinaasa o pinangakuan! Naghintay siya sa 'yo!"

"I waited for her, too, Tito! I was saving myself for her! If it's possible, I would have done everything to prevent falling in love with another. But I just fell. Hard. Without any clue that I have fallen. All I can do is apologize."

"Surely, you haven't tried enough! You haven't controlled yourself enough! With no shame, you broke her into pieces by getting into a relationship immediately! That's something I can't forgive!"

"I'm truly sorry, I had a change of heart. Hindi ko po 'yon sinadya. Please understand. Noreen and I talked about it and she—"

"She told you not to worry? Told you that she's strong? That she could make it without you?" nang-uuyam ang boses nito. "Of course she would say all that! She's kind, Grey! She wouldn't want you to hurt! At her expense, she acted tough so you wouldn't worry! But I have seen her in the past days! She's far from getting over you!"

Hindi siya nakaimik. He's aware of his conceit. He knew it would be more proper to wait a little before showing the world that he's perfectly okay and perfectly in love. Pero paano niya sasabihin? Paano madaling tatanggapin ng iba na napagod na siyang maghintay?

He was always waiting. When he proposed to Noreen before, he waited for her. For her to come back, he waited again. Because he cherished what they had, he waited one last time before telling her the truth about his feelings for Tonica. That's why when he finally got the chance to express his love, he just went on with it. Hindi niya mahintay. Dahil hindi na niya maintindihan kung para saan.

Wala na sa edad nila ang paghihintay. Thirty plus has no luxury of time. So he chose to believe in Noreen—in her kindness and understanding. He chose to believe in what fate has given him—another love. He might have asked for too much but how could he ask for something less? Alam niyang dahil nagmamahal na siya ng iba, nasasagasaan niya ang puso ng babaeng minahal niya. Pero kahit na anong isip niya, alam niyang walang madaling paraan. Walang ibang daan para iwasang masaktan si Noreen. He will have to break her heart—the sooner, the better. Because like them, Noreen doesn't have the luxury to wait. He didn't want to waste more of her youth.

To love her and save her, he needed to be cruel. He needed to cut himself away from her—swiftly, completely.

"Tito, I love Noreen, too. Hindi ko rin siya gustong masaktan. But that can't be avoided. Nang umalis siya six years ago after I proposed to her, I was resolved to wait for her. When I met Tonica, I was resolved to hold on to whatever love I have for her. But Noreen knows me too well. I can't trick her. Hindi ako magsisinungaling sa kanya at magkukunwaring walang nagbago dahil mayro'n. I know that even if we try to make the feelings come back, it won't be the same anymore. We waited but still reached an end."

Uminom ng alak ang lalaki. Maigting ang panga nito. Naggigitgitan ang mga ngipin sa pagsasalita.

"You're the only one who changed, Grey. The only one who reached the end. Because she's stuck with you and all of your memories." Umiling ito at namula ang mga mata. "You will never know how hard it is to see her hurting every day. She's getting by. She's smiling. Dancing, even. But she's not the same girl. When I look at her, no joy can reach her eyes. All of her smiles are just shadows and broken pieces of my little girl. I couldn't take it!" Masamang tumitig sa kanya ang lalaki. "I resolved in destroying you, too!"

Nanlamig siya sa diin at katotohanan sa mga salitang iyon ng lalaki. He spoke like a mad man out to devour an animal.

"What do you mean... destroy me, Tito?"

"Who do you think created a stir about you and your girl? A fire will burn down to charcoal if not fed properly."

Nakuyom niya ang kamao sa tinutumbok nito.

"No..." Lumunok siya. "You're not capable of doing something like that, Tito. The rumors back in the Philippines may be quickly escalating than normal but there was no way... There's no way..."

"Try to watch your child get ruined by a man. Only then you will see how fast a father could trade his sanity and conscience for his child to get even."

Pakiramdam ni Grey ay bumaba ang temperatura sa silid hanggang sa nanginginig na maging ang mga labi niya. Hindi niya alam kung paanong matitibag ang matigas na resolusyon sa tinig ng lalaki. He was starting to get angry, too.

"Tonya has nothing to do with hurting Noreen!" Madiin ang bitiw niya sa bawat salita. "I'm the one who hurt her! Ako lang dapat! Ako lang dapat ang tumanggap ng parusa n'yo!"

"That girl made you change your mind. Ikaw at ang babae mo, ginawa n'yong tanga ang anak ko! Ikaw at ang estupido mong karera, sinira ang anak ko! I could only look at my daughter once you are completely destroyed!"

Hindi niya mapaniwalaan ang naririnig. Laging mahinahon at makatwiran si William Garcia. Walang mag-aakala ni maniniwala na ito ang nasa likod ng mga malisyosong balita at ng mga mapipilit na reporters. Nasapo niya ang ulo.

"What you are doing now will break Noreen's heart more than you can imagine. She loves you a lot."

Nagsukatan sila ng tingin ng lalaki.

"But she lives for you," malungkot na sabi nito. "Six years ago, she flew to Paris for you. She declined your marriage proposal for the sake of your career because Pearl talked to her about it. Inuna ka niya. Inisip ka niya. Inalala ka niya at ang karera mo. She flew to Paris with a broken heart. No matter how much she wanted to say yes, she sacrificed and waited. And now..." naluha ang mata ng lalaki, "she's living with all of the should have been! Pinagsisisihan niya ang lahat ng taon na nasayang n'yo! You're the one who hurt her but she's blaming herself! She's crying because of her stupid kindness, Grey! She's always crying for you!"

Napatunganga siya. Something's wrong with what he heard.

"What did you say, Tito? Mama talked to her... to refuse me back then?"

Madilim ang mukha ni Willy. "Pearl confirmed it to me when she apologized for you."

No way! Noreen wanted to pursue her dreams of becoming a world-class fashion designer and stylist! That's what she said. That's what she had him believed! Why would she—

"Where is Noreen? I have to hear it from her."

"No."

"Tito!"

"No!" Tumayo ang ginoo na nanlilisik ang mata. "Stop messing her up!"

Tumayo rin siya. "Kailangan ko siyang kausapin!"

"Bakit pa? Babalikan mo ba siya dahil sa nalaman mo? Sasaktan mo lang siya uli! And if you hurt her more this time, the career that she protected for your own good, I will completely—"

Nakakuyom ang kamao niya nang salubungin ang tingin ng lalaki.

"Destroy it. Destroy me! If that's what hurt Noreen, break it to pieces." #