It was early on Monday morning. I got up exactly at 6.30 AM when my first alarm rang loudly. Today, I decided to go to the office as I already felt a lot better. My sleeping was also getting better. After took a few days' leaves, I started to feel bored at home and called Kiyong that I wanted to go to work today.

Kiyong was asking whether I was sure about it, and I firmly said yes. At least, work could distract me from overthinking my problem and dilemma. The longer I stayed at home, the more I couldn't help to keep thinking about Rowoon every time I remembered what Kiyong said to me a few days ago.

But I didn't do as Kiyong said to meet him. I told Kiyong that I won't do it. I told him that it was better this way. I didn't know what am I going to do if I did meet him. I have tried not to make any contact with Rowoon since then. I block every communication with him and I did as Kiyong said to forget about him. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and let out a deep sigh. It was for the best. This was for the best.

What happened between me and Rowoon was over years ago. He was the one who decided himself. And this should be the literal end of my connection with him. If he couldn't cut the line, then I would do it.

Shutting my eyes tightly, I cleared my thoughts and told myself to stop thinking about him from now on. I rinsed my face with the cold water a few times. Let the water wiped away the restlessness. I chose what was best for my life, and I already did.

If I hadn't completely moved on all this time, then I'd do it properly now. I was tired of not be able to erase his shadow from my head. I hated for incapable to defend myself from him. Even after years, he still held a special place in my heart. But this time, I couldn't be full of myself anymore. I needed to think of others and think of Kiyong.

I didn't want to hurt him anymore.

I slowly moved from the drawer and stepped inside the bath up. I decided to take a cold shower this morning so that I could have a clearer mind and wished the cold water could cleanse my heavy thoughts.

* * *

It was exactly at 8.30 AM when Kiyong arrived at my apartment lobby and I already walked out from the elevator to the front entrance. I nodded to the security and walked straight to Kiyong's car.

"Good morning," he greeted and I smiled as I got up his car.

"Good morning," I replied to him, smiling.

He leaned to kiss my cheek, "How are you feeling today?" he asked while caressing the back of my palm gently. Sent a soft tingling but plain sensation to me. I looked up from his hand to see his gorgeous face.

"I'm feeling better, thanks to you," I replied and he showed me his proud smile.

He then started the engine and drove slowly out the apartment blocks to the main road. "What did you do, yesterday?" he asked lightly as if it was nothing to him. I stared at him just to check his facial expression but there was nothing.

I slightly frowned to digest what might his question means. I wasn't sure whether he referred to his suggestion before.

"I stayed at home, watching TV, eating, sleeping, relaxing," I told him honestly.

He frowned slightly and judged me, "Just that? How boring," he said playfully. I smirked. Yes, I was so boring that's why I insisted to go to work today. He then slightly turned to look at me, "Hyeyoon, are you sure you don't want to go to see Kim Rowoon?" he asked again and I choked my own breath.

He rubbed gently my back and waited for me to calm down before answered him with a weak no. He furrowed his brows. "Why?" he sounded so light as if this wasn't a big deal for him.

I paused for a brief moment before continued, "I don't think it's necessary," I said, "can we please stop talking about him, Oppa? I thought our discussion about this had ended yesterday?" I sighed frustratedly and turned to look at him. He was still driving quietly and didn't say anything.

We both went silent. I threw my sight outside the windows, trying to hold the emotion that about to explode. Not again, please. I begged myself while shutting my eyes. I was silently hoping that Kiyong would let go of everything but seemed like he was still holding a grudge over it. It was understandable. But I became so tired of this.

It wasn't his fault for being like that, but I felt like being pushed to the corner and he didn't let me breathe. His behavior somewhat suffocating me and had forced me to the edge. Suddenly I had the thought of staying away from both of them and be alone for quite some time. Ran away from these two.

Kiyong changed the lane and suddenly pulled over. We were only a few blocks away from our office, and he stopped the car next to the pedestrian.

I stayed quiet and so did Kiyong. None of us initiate conversation and this was one of the very rare moments of us fighting, as a couple. When we argued, usually I stayed silent for a moment until Kiyong realized that he had offended me. This time, just like usual, he knew that I was angry.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly, at last. "I just want to make sure you're not going to regret anything, Hyeyoon," he tried to explain. I frowned, why would I regret it?

But I didn't try to respond to his words. I didn't feel like arguing with him right now, and once I stayed silent, he knew that he had gone too much. I had through a lot to finally decided on going against my own will and heart, just to do the right things for both of us. For the relationship. But it seemed not enough for him. Then how far he wanted me to go?

"It's enough," I told him, felt extremely exhausted. He went silent and listened to me, "I hope this is the last time we argued about this matter, Oppa," my voice sounded really tired and he was stunned upon seeing my reaction.

After a long pause and deep in each other thoughts, he finally sounded, "okay, we won't talk about this matter again, unless you're the one who initiates first," he told me.

Kiyong turned the car to the road and drove again through the traffic. Though I couldn't get the hidden meaning behind his last words, he sounded like all the decision was on me. It all depended on me.

* * *

A few days had been passed, everything seemed back to normal as how it did before. I went to work with him, we both drowned with works and projects, tried to look good in front of other people in the office. As if nothing happened.

No one realized what actually happened between us, not even Dahyun who always next to me as my assistant.

Once again, I distract myself and my mind from unnecessary things with work. There was another project assigned for me as the project with M.IT was finished last week. It had been a week since the last time I had an argument with Kiyong and he did as he said; he never brought up the topic anymore.

And I had never heard anything about him for almost two weeks. Did he leave already?

My fingers stopped typing on the keyboard as the unfamiliar sting feeling suddenly hit my chest. It was suffocating, and I had to throw up. Trying not to gain attention from the others, I silently threw my gaze around the room to see everyone was still busy with their works. I slowly left my cubicle and went out to the near restroom.

I was throwing out nothing but liquid acid since I hadn't had proper breakfast this morning. I closed the toilet lid and hit the flush button as I sat on the lid. Arranging my uneven breath, I tried to calm myself down. It was weird though, as every time Kim Rowoon flashed in my head even for a brief moment, I would feel like throwing up and it was so uncomfortable.

I was holding my head with my hand and facepalmed. Why did my heart and body feel this heavy? As if there was something not right. Maybe I should revisit the doctor as the symptoms didn't seem to get better. Or should I visit a psychiatrist? As this was maybe a sign of depression?

My phone vibrated and I peeked on the notification panel just to shock in horror as I saw the sender who sent me a message.

1 message received

Kim Rowoon

11.45 AM

Hyeyoon, are you there?

My thumb trembled and I slid close the panel before locking the screen. Why did he chat? What did he want? Ignored his chat, I put my phone back into my pocket and breathing in and out to calm down.

After calming myself down, I went out of the toilet and washed my hands before went back to my desk just to see Dahyun was waiting for me.

"Eonni, Mr. Jang was looking for you. He wants to see you at his office," she informed me and I nodded.

I sat on my desk and checked on my appearance in the hand mirror I had in my drawer. I looked terrible and pale. What did the heck happen to me? I quickly grabbed my make-up pouch and swiped a light lip tint on my lips and dabbed it with my finger.

After a quick touch-up, I checked my look once again before went to his office.

Knocking two times on the door, there was an answer from him to come in.

"Are you looking for me?" I asked as I sat on the chair in front of his desk.

"Yes, Hyeyoon, are you busy?" he asked and I shook my head lightly.

"I have a few things to review but not much, I can do it later. Do you need any help?"

Kiyong scanned his files and pulled out one file to give it to me, "can you help me study this material and let me know if there's any problem? I need to submit it to the construction team before tomorrow morning," he gave me the file and I checked on the papers. It was about construction progress.

"Okay, I'll do it," I closed the file and was about to get up when Kiyong held my hand. Stopping me from my movement.

"Hey," he called out, making me sat again on the chair. "Hyeyoon," he paused. I frowned as to wait for him to continue but he was being hesitant.

"Why? What?" I asked him impatiently, curious about what made him holding his words.

"Let's have lunch, you haven't eaten lunch, have you?" he then got up to reach his suit and put it on.

I looked at him confusedly, "but you told me to study this file," I reminded him as he just gave me a task.

He took the file from my hand and put it down on his desk. "You can do it later," he told me and pulled me to get up. "Let's go first," he then didn't let me utter any protest or even when I told him I need to fetch my purse. He objected as he said I won't need them to pay for anything.

I frowned as we were stepping inside the elevator and went down to the basement. He somewhat acted strangely lately.

Kiyong drove the car at medium speed, splitting the moderate traffic as it was lunch break time. There was silence, none of us initiated the conversation. I didn't bother to start either. Only a faint sound from the audio was heard, it played an instrumental song from the radio.

Throwing my gaze to the traffic, my mind floating somewhere and I suddenly felt drowsy. What time did I sleep last night? My mind went hazy before I fell asleep.

* * *

"Hyeyoon," someone shook my shoulder and my eyes fluttered open. We had stopped and I slowly turned to see Kiyong was waking me up. I was literally falling asleep.

"Oh," I sat straight just to see we reached one restaurant and the guy beside me stared at me deeply.

"Are you sleepy?" he asked, there was an odd concern in his tone. He seemed to worry but his facial expression stiffed.

I shook my head and my body felt somewhat heavy. "I don't know,"

"I'll drove you home after this, you don't have to force yourself," he then was about to get out of the car when he suddenly stopped to say, "I think, you should visit the doctor, Hyeyoon," his tone was cold.

I frowned upon hearing the way he said the last sentence. But since he already got out and opened the door for me, I kept my mouth shut and followed him entered the restaurant.

"Reservation under the name Jang Kiyong, please," he told the receptionist and the girl nodded.

"This way, please," the receptionist led us to a private room and let us in.

I looked around and stared at Kiyong confusedly. He never booked a private room for lunch. Just when both of us already sat on our seats and the staff left after taking note of our orders, I gave him my questioning look.

Kiyong knew what was inside my head and he let out a wry smile.

"There's something I need to discuss with you, Hyeyoon. I need a private place for that," he explained the reason but I still couldn't get why it had to be in this VVIP room.

"Are we going to meet a potential client?" I guessed. It was the only reasonable possibility as to why he booked this room for lunch.

He shook his head and poured a glass of water for both of us. "No," he said shortly. I raised an eyebrow and took one of the glasses he handed.

"I don't get it," I said honestly, and waiting for him to explain further the initial reason, I took a sip of the water.

"Hyeyoon," he started. I put down the glass and stared at him. "You know that I love you so much, aren't you?" he spoke rather slowly and I didn't reply to him as to wait for him finished saying his words. "You know I care so much about you," he stated.

I was slightly lost on what topic he was trying to say, of course, I knew everything he said. Why did he have to confirm?

"I know," I told him. "What are you talking about?" I asked as I was completely lost.

He leaned to the backrest and stared at me deeply. He was trying to find the best moment to speak all the truth, and I was dumbfounded by the next statement he revealed.

It was like a blank. I couldn't hear anything; my mind went empty and my heart lost its weight. As if there was zero gravity inside the room and I floating helplessly in the vacuum.

I had to grab onto the edge of the table to support my balance. My words stuttered, "What? What are you saying?" I thought I might be heard it wrong.

"Let's break up, Hyeyoon," he said again.

There was suddenly an emptiness inside my heart and I couldn't feel anything. It was shocking but as if my heart already felt numb, the only word that came out from me was a low, "Why?"

Kiyong didn't reply right away. He reached out my hand that gripped the table hard and forced them to release the grip.

"Listen to me," he said gently while holding both of my hands with his huge palms. "I know you love me, but your heart never leaves your old love either, Hyeyoon. I know you love him, too," he told me. I sighed helplessly. He started again. Couldn't he see how hard I was trying to bury everything about that man? Why did he have to keep mentioning him? I hated that.

I was about to utter a protest when he cut me off, "stop denying it," he said. "Stop torturing yourself, Hyeyoon, you're suffering, can't you see that?" he stopped. He saw me let out a single tear and he proceeded, "Hyeyoon, I saw you these past two weeks, and seeing you're being tortured like this is also torturing me. Now, try asking yourself, are you sure you don't love him anymore?"

There was no answer from me. I didn't know what to say, and I was incapable to say as he said. And he got the answer when he saw my eyes were shaking.

He pulled my trembled body into a sudden hug and he whispered right next to my ear, "See? I told you already. You may go now, Hyeyoon,"

"Do you hate me this much? That's why you want to break up with me?" my tone was as cold as ice and he broke the hug. "do you know how hard I'm trying to do everything you said, and you still want to break up with me?" I sounded so hopeless.

"No!" he objected right away. "Don't say that. I don't hate you, Hyeyoon. I love you, that's why I say this," he faced me with a serious look, "I love you thus I don't like to see you suffer for forcing yourself to stay,"

I couldn't find my voice, when I tried to speak, my voice came out hoarse, "I—I'm not forcing myself," I was still trying to deny.

Kiyong sighed in hopelessness. "Hyeyoon, I know you're a sincere person, but sometimes you can be so stubborn," he said. "Here," he handed me his car key and pulled me to get up. "Go, find him. Before you're too late, I told you already, he's leaving,"

"Leaving where?" I still didn't believe him. I was half thinking that he was making it up to make me panic. But Kiyong just stared at me with a meaningful look, intending he was serious.

"Go, Hyeyoon," he whispered and as if there was an impulse inside me, I snatched the car key from the table and ran out of the room just the time when the food arrived.

The waitresses confused as they saw me furiously leaving the restaurant and stormed my way to his car. I got in his car and was now behind the steering wheel. Still confused and panicking, I paused a moment to think where should I go first. Putting my phone on Bluetooth to the car audio, I slowly drove out from the restaurant parking area heading to M.IT Company after setting the GPS.

I tried to call Rowoon's number but his phone was turned off. Did he leave already? Where did he leave?

I entered the highway and sped up into the traffic while trying to make another call, but still got the same result.

Like a déjà vu, I was thinking back on how I left him three years ago unnoticed, and when he ran to my place and met Jeein. As if it was my turn to put myself in his shoes, I now knew how he felt back then. How desperate he was when he found out that I was leaving already. When he couldn't say goodbye, or when he couldn't explain his true feeling toward me, since I decided to leave him.

My tears suddenly fell heavily as I recalled those moments. The last moment we had on the plane when we flew back to Korea. When he decided to sit on himself and left me alone. When he knew that I was unreachable and he finally gave up his hope in me.

I cried my lungs out and releasing the sorrow that had built up in my heart in three years. He wronged me yet I still love him this much. I was such a fool. But this was how people said love is blind. Cliché.

There was suddenly raining heavily as I reached the highway exit and u turned the car, following the direction of the GPS. I was so near to his company. I was silently hoping that I wasn't too late to make everything work again.

I pulled over as I saw his company building and turned to the main lobby. Stopped at the entrance, I walked to the security to inform him that I had to meet Mr. Kim Rowoon and asked him to help with the valet. The security took the car key I gave him and I ran toward the receptionist.

I couldn't go upstairs without any card access and a promise. As I informed the receptionist that I wished to meet the Head of Program Department, she made a quick call to his secretary.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, Mr. Kim Rowoon left already," she said as she still on call. My heart sank upon hearing the information, I was about to utter another request when she added, "Pardon me, Ma'am, may I know your name?"

"Kim Hyeyoon, it's Kim Hyeyoon," I told her impatiently. She informed my name and she finally ended the call.

"Ma'am, you may have a seat and wait, Miss Seo YoonAh is coming downstairs, she wishes to talk to you," she informed and I furrowed my brows slightly.

Why did his secretary want to see me? "Okay," I said finally and sat on the near couch in the waiting section.

After a few minutes, the young lady was walking out from the security pass and saw me as I got up.

She bowed to me and she was holding an envelope in her hand.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am," she greeted me as she approached. "I'm sorry that I have to inform you this, but Mr. Kim is on leave from today and he instructed me to send this letter to you before he goes," she handed me the paper and there was his handwritten said 'To Kim Hyeyoon'.

"Where did he go?" I asked the girl but she apologized that she couldn't disclose the information due to their company security policy.

"He was initially told me to send this by the expedition, but since you're here, I thought if I could give this to you directly," the girl bowed and asked for her leave as I nodded.

I threw my body to the couch and slowly opened the envelope and took out a piece of paper full of his handwritten.

Hyeyoon...

No one wishing you happiness more than me.

I'm sincerely wishing that you'll always full of happiness, be loved by someone you deserve. And I'm so glad that you already found such a great man, I'm so thankful.

Hyeyoon...

I'm sorry for eavesdropping on your conversation in the hospital, and I heard everything. Jang Kiyong is a very great man, he has such a big heart and I'm so grateful to him because he'll be the one who takes care of and loves you.

He's a wonderful man, even I felt so ashamed of myself. If I was in his position, I might not be able to stand the situation and as patient as him. I might be worse.

Be happy Hyeyoon because you have him by your side.

I'm so sorry because I'm such a coward for not seeing you in person yet writing this lame letter. I felt so inappropriate to show up in front of you and decided to write this piece just to say goodbye.

You can let go of everything now, Hyeyoon. I won't show up in your life anymore. This might be our end. It's time to say a proper goodbye this time. I will always be praying for your happiness.

Please, burn this or throw it away after you've finished reading, and forget about me.

Goodbye Hyeyoon, I love you.

I clenched my jaw upon reading the letter and pulled out my phone. I dialed a number and waited as the other picking it up.

"Hello?" the other person picked up.

"Youngdae, where are you?" I spoke as I went out of the lobby and calling for the valet parking. I waited for the valet for a few minutes and talked to the phone again, "where's Rowoon," I asked Jeein's fiancé and there was a silence. "Send me his apartment location, please, now Youngdae,"

Youngdae seemed didn't expect me to call him and asking about Rowoon's whereabout. He was reluctant to share Rowoon's apartment location at first but when he heard the urgency in my tone, he finally sent me an address.

"Thank you," didn't bother to answer as he was asking for my reason looking for Rowoon. I hung up the call and immediately got in the car when it arrived in front of the lobby.

Setting the new address in the GPS, I drove out from his company to the main road. Heading to his apartment location.

================================================================================

A/N :

Whoops, I need to cut off this chapter here, or else it will be way too long.

I'll let you guess how this story will end, it's only a few more chapters left. Maybe two or three more chapters, I still can't decide. Let me see when I write the next chapter. 

Can't say much about the ending.

See you again in the next chapter~