Chapter 5~ Scars

Once Smile and I were in the tent I went to get ready, leaving the boy to fend for himself.

Deciding that it would be best if we looked like a matching set, I chose an outfit similar to Smiles. For a top I wore a black and white striped dress shirt that had a built in corset over it so that it looked like a blue vest that laced in the back. The sleeves were shorter than Smile's and ended at my elbow, while the collar was white and ruffled in a more feminine fashion, instead of a bow I had a blue rose shaped clip in the center of my ruffles. I wore tight black gloves that reached my wrists. Instead of shorts I wore a similar version of Beast's skirt but it was blue instead of red and had delicate blue ruffles along the bottom of the black skirt. I wore similar stockings to Smile and heeled black boots. I put my hair in two pigtails before sticking two black rose clips with blue feathers at the base of each tail. I painted three small blue roses on my cheek before connecting them with a black vine of thorns along the side of my face.

After looking in the mirror and feeling accomplished I went to go meet Smile and the other First Stringers back stage before show time.

Smile looked at my costume and blushed before composing himself. I giggled before he could say anything.

"Now we really are partners..." I giggled.

"I suppose so Siren," he replied in a business like manner.

•••

Time passes and it is finally our turn to take the stage. Smile and I had agreed that we would do the marionette performance for the show this evening.

(Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez)

//Once the music starts and the spotlight hits us, Smile and I are next to each other slowly lifting our arms in time with the ticking of the clock. When I begin to sing we make very jerky movements with awkward positions to give the effect of being a controlled doll or puppet//

Hey girl, open the walls, play with your dolls

We'll be a perfect family.

When you walk away, is when we really play

You don't hear me when I say,

"Mom, please wake up.

Dad's with a slut, and your son is smoking cannabis."

//I stop and put a hand on my hip before shaking my finger saying *no*//

No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens

Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchen.

//Smile and I stand side by side locking and unlocking our arms together before striking random picture poses and smiles acting the roles of perfect dolls//

Places, places, get in your places

Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.

Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Please don't let them look through the curtains.

//we let our smiles drop before acting like we are trying to break free of the strings, then we both snap together and put a finger to our lips//

Picture, picture, smile for the picture

Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?

Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Please don't let them look through the curtains.

//we once again go into jerky controlled movements in time with the music//

D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E

I see things that nobody else sees.

(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E

I see things that nobody else sees)

//more puppet movements before we snap together when I say *Ha!* and then cover each others eyes. Then Smile and I start to walk and act like marionettes being manipulated by strings//

Hey girl, look at my mom, she's got it going on

Ha, you're blinded by her jewelry.

When you turn your back she pulls out a flask

And forgets his infidelity.

Uh-oh, she's coming to the attic, plastic

Go back to being plastic.

//I step forward and cover my ears before placing a finger over my lips//

No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens

One day they'll see what goes down in the kitchen.

//Smile and I once again stand side by side locking and unlocking our arms together before striking random picture poses and smiles acting the roles of perfect dolls//

Places, places, get in your places

Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.

Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Please don't let them look through the curtains.

//we let our smiles drop before acting like we are trying to break free of the strings, then we both snap together and put a finger to our lips//

Picture, picture, smile for the picture

Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?

Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Please don't let them look through the curtains.

//we once again go into jerky controlled movements in time with the music, but when the music begins to slow Smile's and my arms drop to our sides//

D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E

I see things that nobody else sees.

(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E

I see things that nobody else sees)

// we slowly and fluidly begin to move and walk forward before he swiftly grabs me and lifts me into the air//

Hey girl (hey girl, hey girl, hey girl, hey girl)

Hey girl, open your walls, play with your dolls

We'll be a perfect family.

//He throws me up and I spin and flip until he catches me and lowers me to the ground once more//

Places, places, get in your places

Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.

Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Please don't let them look through the curtains.

//once more we made random poses and smiled for the audience//

Picture, picture, smile for the picture

Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?

Everyone thinks that we're perfect

Please don't let them look through the curtains.

//We act like synchronized puppets before dramatically dropping to the floor, ending the song as well as that nights circus performance//

D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E

I see things that nobody else sees.

(D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E

I see things that nobody else sees)

•••

After the show, Doll who was dressing as a second string performer Freckles, decided to help Smile out a bit and take him to the outdoor showers. I tried to object or help Smile but Freckles was so set on helping that of course she got her way.

I had heard the arguing before I saw what had happened, Freckles had tried to help Smile get undressed so that he could shower but Smile refused. When they kept arguing Smile was trying to get away and ended up tripping on a bucket of water, soaking them both. When Freckles lifted up Smile's shirt he saw a bran mark scar on his back before Smile got up and ran.

Quickly I followed Smile to where he hid, which was behind one of the wagons. Although Sebastian had already beaten me to it, I over heard their conversation.

"I've had enough Sebastian! I cannot stand these conditions any longer!" Ciel complained.

"My it isn't like you to quit like this young master..." I could sense the smirk Sebastian wore as he said this.

"Not like me Eh? You're right, living in these conditions like a lowly peasant isn't like me at all. We will finish this case for the queen quickly in order to get out of here faster." Ciel replied coldly as he took the towel and clothes from Sebastian.

Once the demon left I walk up behind Ciel and helped him dry his hair with the towel, "When will you be leaving?" I asked quietly as I led him back to our tent.

"Soon..." was all he said. I gave him time to change before reentering.

An awkward silence filled the air as we both sat on the bed, until he spoke, "Once this is finished, I want you to come back with me and Sebastian."

"I can't burden you Ciel, so I will stay here," I replied quietly.

"The only thing keeping this circus running is the noble and the first stringers! Do you really want to stay with a broken circus? I'm offering a chance for freedom and you are turning it down?" Ciel seemed angrier the more he talked.

I just looked at him sadly, "At what price?" my voice cracked.

"Price?" he questioned.

"At what price will this freedom cost? What do you want in return? I have nothing accept myself, what else is there to take for payment? That means I will not be free, I will be indebted to you and tied to you," I shakily replied.

"I'm not asking you to repay me, I want you to come back with us so that you can live your life freely!" he tried to explain.

"Ciel..." I spoke his name softly but tender enough to make him pause, "Scars of the past will always haunt the both of us forever, what makes you think I will be able to erase those scars by myself?"

"Then don't leave, stay by my side until the end..." Ciel looked at me with his clear ocean blue eye determination present in the orb. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly, like he was trying to keep me there to make sure I didn't disappear.

I was shocked and yet upset, "What do you mean? As a servant, a friend, an ally, what am I to you Phantomhive? You have a fiancé keep in mind, and I have serious trust issues..." I mumble the last part to myself, trying to plant doubt so that I wouldn't give in so easily. I pulled my hand out of his grasp, but he grabbed my wrist and held it tightly.

"Siren..." he spoke softly enough that I almost didn't hear him. I looked at him with pleading eyes that held sorrow, worry, regret, and all of my hidden emotions that I locked up in my heart a long time ago. I turned away from him but he pulled me back harshly and spun me around before quickly kissing me on the lips. I was surprised and didn't understand why he would do this.

When he pulled away he looked disappointed at my reaction, "I hope you can understand my feelings." he released my arm before walking to our tent's entrance.

Without thinking I grabbed his hand, stopping him from leaving. I gave him a side smile before returning his kiss, my hands tangled in his hair before his arms wound around my waist. When we pulled away I gave him one of my true smiles that no one has seen in years. He smiled back, when I looked outside the tent it was pitch black outside.

"I have to go meet Black, I will be back later," he said but I stopped him and felt his forehead. He was burning!

I glared at him, "You have a fever..."

"I'm fine don't worry," he tried to walk away but I pulled him back.

"You are not going out there! It's freezing! And you already got drenched in the cold, I don't want you getting sicker because you were too stubborn to rest!" I argued.

"I want this case finished as soon as possible Siren," he complained as I dragged him to the bed.

"I know, but you will not be able to do that if your condition worsens!" I pushed him onto the bed before tucking him in. I knew about his asthma, if he got worse then it could trigger an attack. I laid down and soon fell asleep next to him.

When i woke up I felt that something was wrong, when I looked over Ciel was gone...