~<>~

I had planned on staying in Riften for most of the week. There were small jobs that needed to be done for the Thieves Guild, easy marks that didn't take much effort, but served as reminders that we were a power once more. After being there for almost three days I found myself growing restless. My skills were such that the jobs rarely took much focus and I didn't get the thrill from them I once had. I had never had that happen before. I loved Riften. It had come to represent safety and security for me. I loved my home in the Cistern beneath the city with my found family, but now the damp stone walls made me feel trapped and edgy.

I was in our training room, using a sparring dummy when Brynjolf swaggered in. He watched me silently as I destroyed my fifth dummy in three days with my twin short swords. I twirled the swords as I side stepped around the fallen bits of straw and cloth. The air movement made the sweat on my body cool and my soft blue linen shirt clung to my skin.

Brynjolf shook his auburn hair out of his face. "Feeling a mite testy lass?" he asked, quirking a brow at the remains of the dummy. "Those don't grow on trees you know."

"Just trying to stay sharp," I said, twirling my swords in my hands once again. The grips were practically molds of my hands and after all the hours of working with them they felt like extensions of my body. "Did you find those scrolls I asked-"

"Not yet. Probably take another week," Brynjold said, interrupting me. A small frown formed between his brows. "Just how long are you planning on staying this time?"

"Sick of me already?" I teased.

Brynjolf snorted. "Not normally, but you have been in a right rotten mood and you haven't been here a week."

"I have a lot on my mind," I groused, sliding my swords back into their sheaths.

"Anything you would care to discuss?" Brynjolf asked, he leaned a hip against one of the lock picking practice trunks and crossed his arms over his chest.

I opened my mouth to tell him, but stopped. There was little Brynjolf could do to help me. He was a fair warrior, but open combat wasn't where his talents lay. I didn't need stealth to help me with the Alduin problem. I didn't honestly know what I needed, but I didn't want to drag my friend into the middle of it. He had already risked making himself a target by the Thalmor for me.

He must have read something in my face because his shut down and the teasing light left his eyes. He green eyes were suddenly so serious and intense it made something in my chest ache. "You don't have to protect me, lass. I'm a big boy."

"It's not that," I quickly argued. I looked around the cistern. "This is my home. I won't risk it for them."

"For who?" Brynjolf pressed cocking his head to the side.

I just shook my head, looking at the floor. Any more information would be dangerous for him. Brynjolf was loyal to a fault, and if he thought I was in danger or couldn't handle something, he would dig until he was certain I was safe.

"Well," he said thoughtfully, heaving a frustrated sigh. "If they are the reason you are going so stir crazy, perhaps you should go bother them for a bit."

I scowled at him. "Are you telling me to leave?" I asked.

He made a noise in the back of his throat. "I'm telling you, that you are driving us all mad here. Whatever has you so worked up isn't something you are going to resolve sitting on your cute little arse down here." My scowl deepened and he threw back his head and laughed. "Get your stuff and get on the road," he advised. "Your answers aren't here."

~<>~

Contrary to what most people thought, I could actually listen sometimes. I heaved my knapsack over my shoulders and set out through the yellow forests of the Rift. I didn't have a place in mind, I had several days before I was due back with the mages. So I let my feet pick the path and the pace. I cleared a few caves along the way, and slept under the trees.

It became clear by the end of the next day however where I was headed. It bothered me, and I considered doing an about face and leaving his hold before I embarrassed myself, but where would I go?

Without a better idea I trudged up the path towards the city. Off to the right of the bridge a small caravan of Khajit were camping. I made my way to them and traded what I had. Many didn't trust the Khajit. I didn't blame them, most of the traveling caravans had some element of illegal activity, but I had worked with them many times. I respected and understood their sense of honor and they in turn knew me and trusted me.

Once my knapsack was lighter and my purse heavier, I crossed the bridge. I had already been seen by many of the guards, and I had no doubt word had already reached Ulfric that I was there.

I glanced at the hallway that led to the bridge overlook where we had often met. I could go there and just wait. He would find me, I had no doubt, but I didn't want him to think I was here to see him. His ego didn't need the help.

I went through the gates and the guards bowed their heads respectfully as I passed. It occurred to me that many of them may have been out here the last time I was here when the dragon came. I nodded back. They had fought the dragon just as much as I had, but they were less well equipped. I had absolute respect for the men who risked their lives defending their homes.

I paused as I stared at the Candle hearth Inn. That seemed almost too easy. I had been found there before on more than one occasion. I turned right instead and headed down the slick stone steps into the Grey Quarter. I gave a few pieces of gold to a girl begging at the gate that led down to the docks and headed for the New Gnisis Cornerclub.

I opened the door and all the dark elves inside glanced my way. Several lifted their chins in greeting and went back to their drinks, others scowled at me unwelcoming. I made my way to the bar and sat down. The innkeeper sidled up to me and narrowed his eyes. Ambarys had no love for Nords and although he didn't seem to mind me, he struggled to look past his hatred of my people. The way they were treated, I couldn't honestly blame him.

"Oh splendid," he groused. "Another Nord. Heard you've been spending your time up at the palace lately. Come slumming to the Grey Quarter, have you?" he challenged. Although his words were harsh he was already reaching for a tankard of ale for me.

"I don't forget my friends," I told Ambarys and took a sip of the ale. I nodded my approval.

"Food?" Ambarys barked the question. The dark elf made no effort to hide his hatred of the Stormcloaks, but I had helped him not long ago and had always been respectful of the dark elves in the city.

I nodded and reached into my purse, sliding a few gold coin across the bar. Food here was usually cheaper than the other establishments in the city. The Dark Elves couldn't afford more and so Ambarys kept his prices down to make sure his people could eat. I always paid what I would have paid anywhere else. He wouldn't accept charity, but he had never corrected me. I considered it a small victory and I could certainly afford it.

"Do you have a place I could stay?" I asked. I already knew the answer. While Ambarys would happily take my money for food and drink, he would sooner kiss Ulfric's boots than let a Nord stay in him home.

"I hear the beds at Candlehearth hall are comfy. Already filled with the stink of you Nords." And he scooped my gold off the counter and disappeared.

Malthyr approached and leaned against the bar beside me with a welcoming smile."What brings you here?" Malthyr asked. "Other than riling up the boss?"

I grinned at the younger dark elf. Malthyr had worked in the corner club for a long time. He was absolutely loyal to Ambarys but had never been as outwardly hostile towards me. Both he and Ambarys knew I was trying to help the Dark Elves, but Malthys was more willing to admit it.

"Just checking in, seeing how things are going."

He snorted and shook his head. "We keep trying to get Ulfric to even come down here to see the squalor, but the High Lord of His Mightiness couldn't find the time."

I took a sip of my ale feeling a little smug. "I think you'll find that's about to change."

Ambarys swiped his rag across the bar and narrowed his eyes at me. "We don't need the charity of a Nord."

Malthyr frowned at his boss but kept his attention on me. "What trouble have you been up to Lady Dragonborn? The rumors are you have the ear of the Jarl."

I lifted a brow. That was an interesting way of putting it. There certainly was something going on between Ulfric and I but I wouldn't say I had his ear. "What other rumors have you heard?" I asked.

"About you and Ulfric?" Malthys asked with a smirk. "All sorts."

When I scowled he cleared his throat and continued. "When I was walking by the old Aretino Residence, heard the little boy, Aventus? He was chanting. It was the Black Sacrament, I tell ya."

"The black sacrament?" I asked with a frown. "Summoning the Dark Brotherhood?"

Malthyr nodded earnestly. I pressed my lips together. I had been threatened by the Brotherhood more regularly than ever these days. I didn't want to do anything to catch more of their ire, but a kid shouldn't draw their attention either.

I frowned, not liking the idea of the Dark Brotherhood coming into Windhelm. I was surprised to find I was beginning to feel territorial over the city. I rubbed at the center of my chest with a frown. I didn't remember ever feeling this territorial before, not even of my home in Riften. "I'll look into it," I told him.

Surprise flashed in his eyes, but he quickly schooled his expression. "Don't you have more important matters to see to?" He challenged. "Fighting dragons or the lot? Heard you killed that last one. That's certainly more important than some kid or our plight in the slums."

I ate my cheese sandwich and sipped my ale. The food here was more plain than at the Candle hearth, but it was good. The bread was fresh and warm.

"I like this city," I finally told him with a shrug. "But I don't like what's happening down here. Who else is going to speak up about it?"

Malthyrs nodded and looked thoughtful as he considered my words. "It was you who took the time to find that murderer too, heard you were injured."

I nodded and took another swallow of ale. I liked to help, but I didn't need the acknowledgement. That wasn't why I did it.

"Not sure why you should care," Amberys snapped at Malthyrs, coming over and taking my empty dishes. "It was Nord women being killed, not Dunmer."

"Either way," I said before the two men could start arguing. "The situation has been resolved." I turned to Amberys. "Thank you, the bread was excellent. Best in Windhelm."

He grunted but seemed secretly pleased by the compliment. I shouldered my pack and headed for the door. It was full dark when I stepped out into the shadows. There were several of the dock workers milling about and when a drunk Nord started in on them I took a step in their direction.

"Saving the world one poor sap at a time?" Ulfric's voice was a quiet rumble as he stepped out of the shadows. The drunken Nord saw him and blinked a few times in confusion before he shuffled off.

"Those poor saps are your people," I snapped irritably.

"Is that why you brought me down here? To show me this?" He asked, gesturing to The Grey Quarter around us.

I turned to him and the flickering torchlight illuminated the planes of his handsome face, casting some of it into shadow. "I didn't bring you," I told him defiantly. "You followed me down here."

His eyes narrowed, although he didn't look displeased. He took a step closer, glazing down into my face from inches away. "You were hoping to be chased," he accused in a voice so low it sent a shiver down my spine.

Fighting to save face, I sniffed and turned away from him. I took the long way through the Quarter towards the palace. "I was hoping you would see your subjects and do something about it," I said accusingly.

Ulfric's jaw tightened but he followed me, easily falling into step beside me. "There are precious few resources as it is..." he started to say and I had a feeling it was a well used excuse.

"Is it because they aren't Nords?" I snapped, narrowing my gaze. I had feelings for Ulfric, I may not have been sure exactly what they were, but him being a bigot would change that in a hurry. Even my willingness to be in the city would be called into question if it was specifically because they were Dunmer or Argonians.

"It has nothing to do with that," Ulfric snapped impatiently. He grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop before I could ascend the steps towards the palace. "Freyja, you have to understand. My focus has been on all of Skyrim, my city-"

"Is suffering because of it," I snapped. "I don't have to understand anything. You can't forget the individuals in favor of the whole."

Ulfric shook his head. "That is exactly what being a leader means. Once the war is over I can fix this," he said gesturing around him. "But for now...I have to think of everyone."

"So think of these people. They were refuges from Morrowind and they came here for safety and have been persecuted and treated like trash because you don't tell your guards to put a stop to it."

Ulfric rocked back on his heels, his face was drawn and contemplative. "Is that what you want me to do?"

"It would be a start," I snapped scathingly and I pushed past him to stomp up the stairs. I was more mad than I realized. Mad at both him and myself. I was mad I had allowed myself to develop feelings for a man who's morals I didn't fully understand. I was also mad I was questioning his morals. Who was I to throw stones?

"As you wish, my lady," he called behind me.

I froze at the top of the stairs and turned to face him. He was below me a couple of steps, putting us at eye level for the first time. The serious look in his eyes took some of the anger out of me. Once again he was being so damnably reasonable, when all I wanted to do was fight and be mad.

He must have seen more than I wanted in my face because he snorted out a laugh. "I'll speak with the captain of the guard tomorrow. Any other wrongs you wish to right in my city tonight?" he asked, though his tone was carefully neutral there was a hint of a challenge in his blue eyes.

I hated that I liked it.

"Many, but that will be a suitable start," I snapped back.

He laughed then and it was like I could feel it in my bones, warming me. It felt dangerous. I turned away from him, heading towards the Candle Hearth Inn. 

Ulfric stopped me, his large hand closing over my bicep. "Come stay in the palace so we can talk." He prompted.

I arched a brow at him. I had no intention of letting him boss me around or think I had come here to see him. Every time I saw him I was reminded why this was a bad idea. I needed to have better control over my feelings. I was The Dragonborn, I couldn't afford to be swayed by his charm and pretty face.

"Freyja," he snapped my name to catch my attention, stepping up into my space once more. He towered over me, his broad shoulders blocking the torch light behind us and reminding me how much physically larger he was. "You have rushed out of here every time you have come. We need to talk."

His use of my name jarred me from my thoughts of being purposefully contrary. I scrubbed a hand over my face. I was being difficult for no good reason. I sighed and nodded. I was about to apologize but his eyes glittered with triumph at getting me to agree. I set my jaw and gritted my teeth. I would sooner cut my own tongue off than give him that satisfaction. The man was maddening.

Ulfric turned and led the way up the steps and into the palace. I disliked how many people were watching us, and I made sure to leave plenty of room between us. Rumors were apparently already abundant about Ulfric and I. I didn't like that.

Ulfric led the way past the banquet table and his throne and into his war room. A map of Skyrim was laid out on the table, tiny red and blue flags representing the two armies covered it. I ignored it. The war had very little to do with me.

I stopped in the doorway. This room felt private and personal. I had been in the palace several times now, but always in the main hall or the guest wing. This anti chamber was his personal office and to the right was the door that led to his private rooms.

"We won't be interrupted here," he said when he saw the expression on my face.

I must not have looked convinced because he chuckled. "Every conversation we have had has been interrupted and you use it as an excuse to run when you get uncomfortable. It's time you and I sat down and talked."

Ulfric stepped to the side table to pour us each a goblet of wine. I scowled at his back. I didn't like how perceptive he could be. He turned back to me and held a goblet out to me. In order to reach it I would have to come further into the room. My jaw tightened. I hated that he had accused me of running. It made me sound cowardly, even if it was true.

He arched a challenging eyebrow at me and held out the goblet. I exhaled sharply and moved into the room. It felt like I had just stepped into a trap. He flashed a wolfish smile as our fingers grazed when I took the wine.

The warmth of his fingers sent a shiver down my spine and he paused just a beat longer than necessary before breaking the contact. He lifted his goblet and took a sip, watching me over the rim. Being the focus of his attention was making my stomach knot. I took a drink from my own in order to give myself something to do.

"I hear you're quite the scholar these days," Ulfric said conversationally.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "Word gets around. It's been less than a week."

Ulfric snorted humorlessly. "Well, when the mages are claiming the great Dragonborn has come to them for guidance, people tend to stand up and take notice."

I heaved out a sigh. "That's not what is happening." I told him irritability.

"Oh I assumed as much." Ulfric said glibly. "But it's important to remember what people can do with your name. I assumed you would want to know."

"It is better to know," I finally agreed, although I didn't feel like it was better. It felt like a betrayal of sorts. Although, in some ways it was absolutely the truth. I had shown up there looking for guidance. I had enrolled in the college. It just made it sound like I was helpless. I hated that. It was dangerous for me to appear so weak.

"Have you found what you seek there?" Ulfric asked. Even though I struggled to hold eye contact he was watching my face very closely. I was in his territory and it made me feel out of sorts. I hated that and I set my jaw. He saw it and smiled a full, real smile that stretched his face and crickled the corners of his eyes. I hated it even more.

"Some, not all," I told him. "Plus there's the small matter of Wuunferth's favor."

"Can't forget about that," Ulfric agreed sardonically. He moved to take a chair behind the desk, dropping down into it as though it were a throne. "Does it have anything to do with the World Eater?" He finally asked.

I glanced towards him in surprised. The last time I had been with him I had begun to broach the subject, but we had been interrupted by a dragon attacking his people. I was surprised he remembered. I told him so.

He snorted. "It's not something one would easily forget," he told me. "Have you found a way to kill him?"

"Kill him?" I asked in dismay. "No, I'm honestly not sure that is even possible. I'm trying to find a way to trap him." I said and I dropped down into the chair across the desk, feeling very tired all of a sudden.

Ulfric's gaze hardened, his blue eyes glittering with a cold malice I remembered well when we had been enemies. "Never leave an enemy capable of coming back for you," he told me.

"Like you did?" I asked, arching a brow.

Ulfric laughed and it was a warm sound. He took a sip of his wine and set the goblet down. "You have indeed come back for me, Dragonborn," he said and the knowing look in his eyes made my breath hitch in my chest. This was a dangerous game I was playing with Ulfric.

I looked down at the goblet in my hands, studying the cup with more attention than it's simple design warranted. "I don't think I'm capable of killing something like the world eater."

"You are the Dragonborn," Ulfric said with absolute confidence as though that would make any difference.

It wasn't the wine that made me say it, but rather just Ulfric being himself. "I don't even know what that means...I'm just Freyja," I confessed, speaking the terrible truth I had held close to my heart for so long.

Ulfric made a noise in the back of his throat and shoved himself to his feet. He strode around to my chair and knelt down in front of me, forcing me to meet his gaze. I had never seen Ulfric kneel before. He lifted a hand and cupped the side of my face. "You're much more than that," he assured me with an intensity that should have scared me. Maybe I was just too tired to be scared.

I held his gaze, searching his eyes for something I didn't fully understand. Ulfric was maddening. He was also terrifying in his power to lead men. He was selfishly dedicated to his cause, and would sacrifice anyone who stood in the way of his victory. He was a power in his own right, but his real power came from his charisma and ability to manipulate and strategize. I respected him for all of those things. I feared him for the way he made me feel when he smiled at me, or worse was serious. When he looked at me with that intense gaze I hated how off balance it made me feel. I hated that even when he scared me, he made me feel incredibly safe. 

I hated even more that it felt like he had just seen all of those things staring into my eyes.

Taking pity on me, he stood, dusting himself off even though the floors were perfectly clean. "Tell me, Dragonborn," he said formally. "What errand of Wuunferth's has you courting the mages."

"That is between me and Wuunferth," I told him. I had never actually agreed to that, but I had the feeling the court mage wouldn't appreciate me tattling to Ulfric.

"Don't take too many chances," Ulfric told me. "Your life is not worth the debt."

"I'm not sure Wuunferth would agree with you," I told him seriously. I had seen the greedy gleam in the mage's eyes when he told me about the staff.

"I will handle Wuunferth," he said, his voice a deep rumble.

I looked away, I couldn't let him see how his words effected me. I had been responsible for handling problems in my life for so long it felt strange to have someone else wanting to step in and protect me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was too tired to be playing this game with Ulfric.

"I have to get back," I told him shoving myself to my feet.

His hand came up and he caught my arm, his grip just enough to give me pause, but still gentle enough for me to know I could pull away if I waned. "Why did you come?" He asked.

I stopped then, and maybe it was because I was so exhausted that I decided to be entirely honest with him. "I don't know," I told him. I snorted and shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers. It was the truth, I had no idea what had possessed me to come. Every time I did, things became more and more complicated between us. Neither one of us could afford the distraction. He had a war to fight and I had an immortal dragon to banish.

"Stay here, leave in the morning. There is no point trying to sleep out on the ice and you won't make it to the college until tomorrow anyway. Sleep in peace."

I dropped my hand and met his gaze. He looked sincere and his blue eyes were gentle. He wanted me to stay and rest. I didn't want to admit how safe I felt within his walls, so instead I just nodded. "I'll leave before dawn," I told him.

He made a noise of surprise in the back of his throat. "Not running off mysteriously without a word? What a delightful and unexpected change," he leaned forward, pressing his lips against my forehead. "I'm going to remember that, Dragonborn," he told me with a little push of authority.

~<>~