I didn't feel that relieved once the words left my mouth. If anything, I felt even more awful than I did before.

I knew my outburst wasn't necessary. I knew it, but at that moment, something snapped in me. She just kept talking and talking. I didn't want to deal with it. I had too many thoughts running in my head and--

Whatever, it was her fault anyway. She brought herself into this. 

I'd told her to stay away from me. She didn't listen. Hence, not my problem. 

I stared down at my unmoving pasta again in silence clenching my teeth together to ease of my anger. And with another clench of a fist, I realized, well shit.  

It was hitting me. The guilt was hitting me like a truck. 

Suddenly, my eyes shot up and paid attention to the eyes around me. I hate public places. Everyone whispered as they looked down at me and self-consciousness ate me up. I really did have to make a commotion in a place where people could be the nosiest creatures. 

"Relationship issues," I heard one of them snicker. 

"More like mental issues," another one said. 

Slowly, but steadily, as more of people's needless gossip filled my ears, my anger seeped back. I pushed back my chair aggressively, grabbing just the plastic, disposable container the pasta came in, and headed for the exit. 

Air. I needed air. 

I got out of the building, looking for a secluded spot to sit at to properly gather my thoughts. I scanned the area, my eyes involuntarily falling to the one person I couldn't tell I was avoiding or looking for. 

She sat there, deep in thought, with a frown on her face as she stared straight down. Her pasta remained untouched right beside her. 

More guilt flooded my stomach. 

I averted my vision, trying both mentally and physically to focus somewhere else. There was nowhere else to go, every bench being occupied by one person at the least which essentially defeated my purpose. 

At least I couldn't hear anyone. 

The bell rang and, once again, I automatically found myself looking her. Sher jerked back upon the alarming sound, being aware of her surroundings again, as she scurried away to assemble her things. 

Why couldn't I stop the god-awful clenching feeling that gripped my heart? 

 Gritting my teeth, I head back in, dumping the pasta in the sides of my bag as gently as I could at that point and willed myself to pull through for classes. 

It was weird. I didn't want to be at school. But without my brother at home, I didn't particularly want to go back home either. I just wanted to disappear to a place no one would find me. Just me and my music. 

A person shoving past my shoulder to get to class broke my train of thought and I sent a glare to the back of their head as they unknowingly walked away. Rolling my eyes, I adjusted the fallen strap of my bag up my shoulder again. 

Classes always seemed to fly past lunchtime anyway. We only had two more until we were usually off. So, when the day ended rather quickly after that, I wasn't surprised. 

My house was only at a ten to fifteen-minute walking distance. So, more often than not, I'd find it to be a part of my leisure time. Where I thought about nothing and everything at the same time. But it'd just be me. And that was the best part. 

I dug into my bag for my headphones and pulled them right out the second I felt the material. Then, I placed them right on my head as I walked down the all-too-familiar road I grown in a routine with. 

I was only five minutes in when I saw her again. 

My thoughts maneuvered their ways into thinking of how I could possibly die. There she was coming my way from the opposite direction, hands in pockets, attempting to look as small as she could. She didn't look up until she was not too distant away from me. 

The second her glassy eyes landed on mine, she stumbled for a second until her shoe caught its grip again. Sneakily, she put her fist near her face and wiped a tear off from her face before it fell. 

She was crying, I concluded.

Did I make her? The thought gave me a weird sense of discomfort. I'd never been in this situation before. 

Should I say something to her?

She looked towards the road, and then towards me again, realizing there was no way she could avoid me. 

My pace slowed but I continued my walk nonetheless. Initially, I looked at her in question as I wondered why she was crying or even why she was walking the other way. But those questions soon subsided as the incident back at the cafeteria clouded my head again. Instantly, I winced at the memory. 

Confrontations were never my forte.

Maybe I was too harsh on her. 

Her eyes dipped down upon my reaction, and I could tell she didn't feel the most comfortable either. While my pace had gone down a notch, she did nothing but fasten her pace tenfold to attempt at getting away from me as quickly as possible. 

For a moment there, I wanted to stop her and just apologize and get it over with. But as she took her fast, tiny steps and crossed me, the words didn't come to me as naturally. All I could do was gape at her as I watched her figure fade away into the distance, my voice dying down in my throat before it even came out.

There went my chance at mental peace today. 

Rubbing my index and thumb over my forehead to try to forget about it all, I walked only slightly ahead until something caught my eye. 

Right behind the bus stop, a homeless man sat, a jacket placed on top as he kept himself warm from the incoming winter. A smile sat on his face as he stared at the food in front of him with tears in his eyes. Pasta. 

My brain immediately connected the dots together. Her walking in the opposite direction, tearing up. . .

I couldn't avert my eyes as I looked down at the old man, still lost in thoughts with him and his food. Something about the whole scenario had touched my heart more than I had cared to admit. 

I dropped my bag down to the floor and took out the box I'd shoved in. I came in front of the man, finally grabbing his attention and kneeled down to him. Quite frankly, I'd nothing much to say to him, but I quietly muttered a, "If you'd feel any hungrier."

He looked up at me with gratitude, a warm smile gracing his lips as his eyes turned even more watery. Suddenly, I felt queasy. I didn't deserve that. I didn't even know this man probably stayed here in my years of schooling. Or I did. But I never gave it the time of my day. I never thought about him. I never regarded him as human. 

I quickly nodded him in a bid to say goodbye and rushed away, wanting to go home as fast as I could. I was so used to boring days, the events that took place that day overwhelmed me beyond belief. 

I shut my eyes to try to immerse myself in the music. When that didn't work, I took off my headphones completely, too distracted to listen to my tunes anymore. 

Taking a deep breath, I finally gained clarity within myself. It was the pasta that moved me. Well, not the pasta itself. But the gesture. The man's face after moved me. And the unsettling feeling in my heart grew. 

Maybe tomorrow, I would give her an apology. A proper one.