John

Here I am. The now owner of Blythe Law Point is in a cafe in who knows where. I only needed sleep but where to? I guess I could go to my parent's house. But with my head so low, my parents told me several times, a girl like that was no good. I liked Bell. I thought we had something. To my disbelief, I was wrong. How did this happen? Why is this happening to me? I should have been more calculating. Now, I have a job, I don't even want. Sleep I couldn't even get. 

I met Bell through a friend of a friend, who both attended Harvard. She had no structure, she could be described as someone who had no structure. I saw her and thought she was cute. She's an emotional person, but it never bothered me. It just meant she was caring and sensitive. Bell wasn't passionate and didn't have a goal other than to be comfortable. She preferred hot weather and adored the beach. 

I take out my cell phone. The brightness hits my face, hurting my eyes as they are still very sensitive. I have no messages. None from Bell, none from anybody. I take the time to debate whether I should call the driver so I can crash at the hotel. I don't want to interact with my parents, they will try to have this long lecture and I am not for it right now. I just want to sleep. After a while, I text my driver to come and pick me up. I should have gone to a bar if I wanted to unwind rather than a cafe. 

In the end, it didn't matter. What we had meant nothing. Wasted time. I spent 3 years of my life in this relationship that meant nothing to her. What is love? Is it something so invisible and unreal? My head is still aching for sleep. I don't want to be around other people, but the place I thought was home isn't home anymore. It never was. 

I tuck my face back into my arms. I want to avoid talking to another or simply having to look at anyone in this state. A wet sensation reaches me, but I don't move. I have no energy. I have my face tucked in my arms, and my body is facing the wall as far as the booth allows. I have no energy. No energy to be angry or sad. I am just existing. 

In a loud voice, a girl seems to have announced her arrival in the booth next to mine."Nicole, I came as soon as I could."

I don't retract to their conversation until another girl raises her voice. "But never thought you should tell me?" They seem to be arguing about something like little girls in high school. There were not many people in the cafe, at least when I got here, there were about 3 people at most. 

"I am not the one that left, Nicole!" She fights back.

"You knew why I left! How do you think I feel finding out the love of my life married someone else!" 

"It's NOT his fault."

"So it's mine?!"

"He's not the one who left. What did you expect? He wasn't going to wait around for you."

"He promised he would. He told me HE would." 

"You are very selfish to ask that from my brother. He deserves to be happy. Just let him be happy."

I hear the chair screech as she abruptly gets up and says before I hear the cafe door close, "I also deserve to be happy, NOT just him." 

I dismiss the conversation. It just brings me down as it seems everyone is as gloomy as I am. The world needs rules. Sure, everyone is free to do what they want but isn't that the issue? How was I supposed to know Bell would do what she did? Is she even sorry? Or maybe she just needs an excuse to do that because that is who she is. It took her a second to throw away what we had. 

A buzz comes from my phone, notifying me that the driver is here. I head out to the car and let the driver head out to the closest hotel. I lay my head back as I rub my eyes. I check my phone one more time, no messages, no calls. It's so wrong that I am expecting her to apologize. What is even worse is that if she did apologize I would have forgiven her. If she still wants what we had back, I rather take her back. I don't want to restart with someone else. I want her back.