CLOSE YOUR EYES

The sky was draped in a veil by the time Ileana had mustered the courage to trudge back towards the compound. Her eyes had long ago turned blood shot, revealing the hours of sobbing to everyone who didn't even want to know. Choked sniffles escaped from her blocked nose; she had long ago stopped trying to free it. It was in vain, as a few seconds later another wail would consume her body and she would suffocate again. Her hands had long lost any sensation, and her shudders shook her frail frame so hard that she was surprised she didn't break. The wind had whipped at her hair so often she stopped trying to tame her wild locks, teeth chattering as her hair reached out in each and every direction like it was attempting to escape Ileana.

She ignored the curious looks exchanged between the people she passed, soldiering on towards her room where she'd break down again, only this time she would be able to feel her fingers. Ileana admitted that it was stupid for her to run off into the woods in October, yet she knew if she ran to her room she'd have both Rhodey and Tony on her tail. She also knew that if she ran to that room straight away, she would have felt trapped.

"Welcome back, Miss Popescu. Tony and Rhodey have been very worried about you." The sweet, terrifyingly human voice of F.R.I.D.A.Y hit her ears, and instantly Ileana jumped in surprise. She let her eyes drift upwards, automatically finding the camera nestled in the corner of the ceiling. The reason she felt as though she was surrounded by metal bars.

She ignored the voice of the A.I, continuing her way through the compound. Ileana was too absorbed in her own thoughts to even acknowledge the A.I. F.R.I.D.A.Y seemed to get the message, and didn't say anything else to her.

It took stumbling down several winding corridors to get to her room. She hadn't seen anyone on her way, and she knew that it would only be a matter of time until either Tony or Rhodey came after her, having being notified of her reappearance by one nosy A.I. Maybe she would open the door to them. Maybe she would demand that everyone be locked out.

At last she reached her salvation, sighing before pushing her door open. The reassuring screech of the door soothed her tense muscles. Not wasting a single moment, she slammed the door shut behind her, striding towards the mattress engulfing the room. Ileana jumped onto the bed with relief, her body melting into the soft support.

It wasn't long before she pulled into the land of desire.

*

It was happening again.

Barnes - her friend - running away as she yearned to be able to shout out to him. Yearned to catch up with him and beg him to take her with him. Yet no matter how much she forced her mouth to move, words refused to flow out of her throat. Just like always.

She desperately tried to pump her arms harder, lengthen her strides and push herself further.

But she was so tired.

Tired of running. Tired of being there for people who wouldn't be there for her. Tired of trying.

She was destined to be alone.

And with that, all of her motivation to run fled her. It streamed out of her body, leaving behind empty dreams and naive fantasies. She found herself coming to a stop, her hands resting on her knees. Ileana sucked in oxygen she felt she didn't deserve, blurry eyes watching someone she trusted and prepared to get killed for to leave her behind. For the second time.

Creaking from above caused her whole body to freeze. All she could do was cast her eyes up as the ceiling caved in. And crushed her.

In a moment, she was on her back. Debris pinned her down. Dust strangled her. Oxygen sprinted out of the space. Blood pooled around her. Her blood. Darkness enveloped her. Everything was pitch black. Everything was strained. Everything was alight in agony.

She dared to try to wiggle her leg from beneath the weight. Fire. Explosions of torture travelled up her leg, and she couldn't withhold the silent scream that ripped through her. Tears built up in her eyes and she couldn't hold them back, letting them flow freely down her cheeks.

Don't panic, she demanded to herself, you've gotten through trickier situations.

Ileana didn't listen to her brain.

She greedily swallowed down the dwindling oxygen, breaths shuddered.

I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die -

Gasping, Ileana jolted out of bed. Her bed sheets were tangled around her legs, knotted ruthlessly. The silk sheets were slick with her sweat, and she weakly swiped the dampness off of her forehead.

3:43 AM.

She fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She wanted to banish the nightmare from her head, wipe it from her memory with a single thought. But it wasn't a nightmare, was it? Her brain taunted her, sending images of the airport into her head. It was real.

Ileana squeezed her eyes shut, wiping at her mouth. She needed a distraction. A distraction wasn't going to happen in an empty room. She glanced at the door, biting her lip. Indecision was written all over her features, and at last she made a choice. Ileana jumped out of bed, creeping towards the door with skill she learned when she'd become desperate enough to pick pocket. She winced when the floorboards under her feet groaned; she kept tiptoeing to freedom.

Getting to the door, she wrenched it open, not thinking twice before rushing down the corridors. Her breaths became laboured quickly, yet she didn't stop. She kept running until she reached her one destination - the kitchen. Heaving a breath, she walked into the finely furnished kitchen, sliding up in front of the fridge.

Bingo.

She reached into the fridge, rummaging through the contents. Most of it was long forgotten left overs from take outs they seemed to order most of time, all of them too tired from a day of training to cook. Ileana turned her nose up at the week old Chinese takeout, finally choosing some apple juice. Not even bothering to pour herself a glass, she twisted off the cap and lifted the carton to her lips. Instantly she was hit with the sweet freshness that she loved.

"You do know that there are perfectly good cups in the cabinet?"

Ileana nearly screamed, the carton jumping from her lips and spilling half of the contents down herself, the material instantly sticking to her. She cursed wordlessly, gently placing the carton on the side and rummaging around for a cloth.

Tony walked closer to her, the bags under his eyes seemingly darker and bigger than usual. "Can't sleep too?" Ileana nodded her head absentmindedly, digging through the drawers. "There's cloths in the third one from the left."

Ileana went to the drawer, opening it and finding what was promised. Weakly smiling her thanks at Tony, she began dabbing at the shirt she still hadn't changed from the day before. She hadn't noticed until then that it had leaves caught up in it, with an occasional tear.

Tony leaned on the counter, leaning up and grabbing two glasses from a cabinet behind him. He wordlessly poured them both a glass of apple juice, him pushing hers towards her. She nodded her head in thanks, gratefully bringing the glass to her lips. "I haven't been able to sleep since I started this whole saving the world shit. Every time I close my eyes," he paused, drawing mindlessly in the condensation on his glass. "I know Rhodey is probably your first port of call, since you guys are gal pals, but just know that I'm here. Sometimes it's hard admitting to your best friend that you're troubled."

She averted her eyes at the mention of Rhodey's name, choosing to keep her focus on the glass in front of her. Tony picked up on this. He put the glass to his lips and took a large gulp, swallowing all of the liquid at once. He slammed it on the side, releasing a sigh. "Good, not as refreshing as a whiskey on ice, but good."

She rolled her eyes. His lips turned up a small bit at the sides, and he took a deep breath before turning fully towards her. "Are you okay? You ran off before, and Rhodey wouldn't tell me why. He just kept muttering to himself that he was an idiot. Whatever he's done, just give him a second chance. No one deserves more than he does."

Ileana kept quiet, not making any effort to look for anything to write a response with. Not that she thought he expected her to answer.

He gave her a grin, slapping a hand on her shoulder. "Try and get some sleep. You look like you need it."

She left, wanting to tell Tony something. Something she thought was petty and weak of her, but something that kept her up tossing and turning all night.

She was afraid to close her eyes too.