Being born a royal isn't a fairytale and I had to learn it the hard way. But maybe you already know that and you know that my life wasn't easy, otherwise I would be busy cherishing it and not sharing its stories.

One of the most fundamental part of my story is my family and just to let you on a secret I have a huge family who could have just sat down together and discussed their problems and reached a solution instead of bringing down doom on literally the whole world. Its true that I would be lying if I say the crown, the throne , the power meant absolutely nothing to me but they weren't as important as some people's lives.

I have been known by a lot of names throughout my life. I have had a lot of titles but for now, for you let me be just a girl who got swept up by destiny's huge plan. I am Advaita and this is my story, not a poem about my misery or a ballad about my bravery to be sung or read in a court of Kings but it is to be felt in the deepest chamber of one's heart.

My father became a king accidentally It was always his older brother who was supposed to be the King of the Kururashtra, even his birth was orchestrated for the same reason. Some people complained about the royal family's choice in making my uncle the King because he was the oldest but the royalty decided that no one other than the oldest child was capable of being the ruler. My father never wanted to be king. He was devoted to his older brother as if his world revolved around him and it is said that my uncle loved my father more than his life but this dynamic changed on my uncle's part on the fateful day of his coronation. Just before was crowned the King my other uncle , Kakashree Vidur who had become the prime minister objected. He said a blind man could never lead his people and therefore my father was the best option that the kingdom had. The courtiers agreed and then my father became the King. Soon after due to some twists and turns in life my father imposed self-exile on himself and gave up his kingship to his older brother and left the kingdom accompanied by his two queens , Kunti and Madri. This was long before I was born and these are some of the stories my father used to tell me to make me acquainted with my noble and royal family while we lived in the forest.

There was one other story which my father cherished in narrating to me , numerous times. He remembered every word as if it had just happened the day before. It was the story of when my father first found me. It was the day his second wife Mataa Madri had gone into labour. Although he had wanted to stay with his wife , he was forced to leave in search of some medicinal herbs. In the deep vegetation of the forest he found a baby, barely one day old, crying. He picked up the child and wrapped her up with his angvastra. As you have guessed already that baby was me and according to my father as soon as he picked me up , the sky rumbled and a divine voice spoke to him,"A very special entity has chosen to be your child. Take good care of her.She is the gift of the Gods for your good deeds. Raise her well. And remember she is destined to be with the Vishnu and the closest aide to your sons . She is bestowed with the heaven's best, honour her and misfortune shall never come your way." After that without any hesitation my father had taken me home and raised me as his own child along with his five sons. I don't really know how I have stopped misfortune coming their way but my parents and my brothers have never loved me any less.

Forest life wasn't filled with luxury but back then we spent our happiest days. From making rag dolls with my mothers to practicing weapons with my brothers life was simple and easier. I didn't need to assess everyone's character around me to check if I could trust them. But this happiness, this blissful life didn't last long. My father always told me I was special and he also said that I was the only Kuru Princess after ages and therefore the realm would be delighted to have me and I would be loved by all. I wondered how anyone would even know about me if I stayed isolated in the forest but my questions were answered soon.Our happiness was drowned in a shroud of darkness with the demise of our father and Mata Madri. We were terribly broke but Mata Kunti kept her sanity and performed all the funeral rites and deeds until the elders from Hastinapur arrived. Our mother broke down on seeing them, especially on seeing an elderly man with silvery beard whom I later realised to be our father's uncle Pitamaha Bhishma, the son of Mata Ganga, the goddess herself.

Away from all the politics and wars going on in the Aryavarta we didn't know what to expect from the royal life as it was decided that we should go to Hastinapur, the capital of Kururashtra to live in the royal palace with the rest of our family. Little did we know that everything going on in the bright and shiny lives of the royals were pieces of a puzzle that we were to complete.

Surprise filled me up when our chariot rolled in through the gates of Hastinapur. The majesty of the city took my breath away. I never seen so many people together, such variety of shops and huge buildings before. civilization. Everything looked so magical and strange but still we were not allowed to gawp at these. It was true that me and my brothers have never lived as royalty before but we were brought up according to all the protocols of the family and that meant we weren't supposed to show emotions in front of commoners or strangers even if we felt completely broken due to the sudden loss of our father. Most of the citizens were out on the roads to welcome us. It was visible that they were pleased to have their former queen and her children back and some seemed to be mourning our father. We were showered with flowers on our way to the palace. I observed all this and also the two of my relatives who accompanied us, Pitamaha Bhishm and Kakashree Vidur. They were no less than strangers to me. Pitamaha was clad in white and he had a very long beard as all the stories said. His eyes were full of experience accompanied by a baritone voice. He made me feel safe somehow even among all those strangers. Kakashree had a tear-stricken face. He was my father's childhood playmate and his death seemed to have affected him a lot. He ruffled my hair once in a while and very quickly bonded with my oldest brother Yudhishtir.

We were welcomed in the palace with a grim expression on our extended family's face After all the stories from my father I seriously had expected that everybody would be very happy on seeing us but e I was proven wrong. Except our grandmothers and the people who went to bring us home from exile and the Queen, our aunt whom we were supposed to call Mata Gandhari no one seemed exactly happy to see us but at that time we thought it was the news of our father's death. The King and Queen actually had a hundred and one children. We were overjoyed to have so many cousins but they weren't. They welcomed us with cruel looks on their faces and sneers and their behaviour was encouraged by their uncle Gandharraj Shakuni.They gave us a tough time for our stay in the palace. No that came out wrong, they gave me and my brothers a very tough time for nearly our whole lives.

Among this nearly disgusting hundred one cousins there was only one as soft as a flower. My father was wrong , there was another Kuru Princess in the same generation as me, Dushalla.. The first I set my eyes on her I felt an impeccable urge to protect her with everything I had but I failed, that too drastically.

Dushalla's extremely timid and sweet nature won everyone and it didn't take us a long to have a protective instinct about her. My brothers' never made any kind of difference between me and them just on the basis of my gender or bullied my but for her it was the country. Even though she had a hundred brothers she was left lonely most of the times. Her brothers ignored her mostly except when they got extremely bored with themselves and needed to bully someone new beside us.

Among the many horrible things that welcomed us to Hastinapur Dushalla was the only good reason. It sometimes scared me that the continuous politics and scheming of the court would hurt her in some fatal way and that will be enough to suck out every kind of goodness from inside her.

Later I would realise my doubt wasn't very wrong.

After my arrival in Hastinapur for the first time she was always around me teaching me ways to not get lost in the palace and teaching me proper way to get our dolls married.

I still remember my first night in Hastinapur , I have been put in a huge room alone away from my brothers or my mother and it scared me. I had never been alone before and this strange place felt really scary. I was tossing around my bed unable to sleep when she came knocking at my door. She told me that even she felt scared to  sleep alone as she thought without her mother there to protect her the monsters under the bed would attack. But as her mother was busy with her other kids she had no other way until my mother asked her to come and sleep with me so that we could protect each other.

With time we learnt that monsters actually didn't live under our beds and that we were not able to protect each other through all the wear and tear.

I knew my brothers before they became fearsome warriors and from that I can say they were never cruel, selfish or bullies. We got on really well since we were toddlers and developed a strong bond with each other. It was a good thing that my older brothers Yudhistir, Bheem and Arjun never discriminated between me and the twins, Nakul and Sahdev. We were of the same age and that naturally meant  that just like we had each other's back all the time we fought the most too. Our "amazing" trio was usually left to act as a duo since Sahdev thought it was more fun playing Bhrata Yudhistir's lackey than hanging around with us.

My eldest brother, Yudhistir was an expert with a spear. After our father's demise he was supposedly the head of our family although only we knew that Mataa Kunti ran the whole show.  Its true that  his policy of not telling lies ever to anyone got us into lots of trouble with our mother but we still venerated our brother. And the best part ? Well he never said me  no to anything I asked for.
My second oldest brother was the most childish among all of us. His one true love was food. Bhrata Bheem was the strongest and funniest among all of us and kept us together like rope binding a bundle of sticks.
Its not like I had any favourites among my brothers but , but Bhrata Arjun was different. He pampered and spoilt me the most of all. And he acted more protective than the others. He treated me as his equal and that was the best thing ever.
The twins on contrary to popular belief had a lot of differences among themselves. Nakul was the most prettiest among all my brothers and usually the chirpy one who could even converse with animals and on the other hand Sahdev stayed aloof most of the times . He could feel the future like a premonition. And that kept him disturbed cause for most of the times we never had good stuff waiting for us in the future.

Leaving out my hundred cousin brothers who never actually behaved like family and a few others who later formed integral parts of my life but weren't their from the very beginning this is where my family comes to a full circle with all its rights and wrongs.

Glossary :

LORD SHIVA : Indian God.

Mathura : Another Kingdom.

Bhrata/Bhratashree : Brother.

Sindhu : Kingdom near seas.

Mata : mother

Kunti and Madri: Two wives of Pandu.

Kuru : One of the greatest ancient Indian Dynasty.

Bharatvarsh : Ancient India

Hastinapur : Capital of the Kurus their seat of power.

Pitashree : Father

Kakashree : Uncle, father's younger brother

Tatshree : Uncle, father's older brother

Pitamaha : Grandfather

Aryavarta : Land of the Aryans. Aryans are the clan of most of the ancient Kings and Queens. Aryans were divided into four castes.

Mata Ganga : River Goddess inhabiting the river Ganges.

THANK YOU FOR READING.