(a/n means that it's actually me and it's not included in the volume)

Welcome to the very first volume of The Kourin Chronicle! We are a two man team that will bring you the greatest news in Gensokyo and the Human Village! So sit back, grab some sake, and read to your hearts content!

Pandora "PK" Kisaragi:

Hey, it's PK! I'm excited to do something big like this. Writing and trends have been my favorites for a long time, due to motivation, I am the co-writer for the articles of The Kourin Chronicle! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as Rinnosuke and I did!

Rinnosuke Morichika

Rinnosuke here. You know, I was hesitant at first when PK asked me to become a co-writer, mainly because I really don't like to write. But with enough pestering, I gave in. I'm actually surprised of my hidden talent, so please enjoy my writings as much you did for PK. (BTW I'm honored to meet a popular idol, read more to find out!)

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Youkai Santa arrives?!?!?!? Who is Youkai Santa?

By Pandora "PK" Kisaragi

We all know the term "Youkai Jesus", a person who defects against their own population and supports the youkai, only to die from the betrayed.

It turns out, here in Gensokyo a "Youkai Santa" exists; a youkai who gives out presents to the children all over Gensokyo. According to peers, this sighting has first occured back in 2014 where human children mysteriously received presents from an unknown person on Christmas morning.

"I was confused on what happened." one parent said. "I have never seen anything like this since I was young."

Many humans dub this happening "Youkai Santa" because of these events. The first thing I thought was how the humans knew about Santa, since Gensokyo is known for being blocked off from the actual world.

"Oh, I taught them about Santa, and many of the people here were learned from books or by word-to-mouth from me." said Keine Kamishirasawa, teacher at the Human Village.

Well that's good to know. But there's a question that everyone is wanting to know. Who is Youkai Santa?

"I say it's Byakuren." Reimu Hakurei, shrine maiden of the Hakurei Shrine explains more: "So if Jesus is related to Christianity, and Jesus Christ was born on Christmas, it's no doubt that Byakuren would be Santa." 

I explained Reimu's reasoning to people and youkai in the village. Many agreed with what Reimu said. However, there was a few that disagreed that Byakuren was Youkai Santa.

"I say it's Yukari." Marisa Kirisame (along with people at the Myouren Temple)" I mean, she has that dimensional gap right ze~? So she must have presents in that dimension."

"Okina has to be Youkai Santa." Aya Shameimaru, head writer of Bunbunmaru says. (I never said anything about this being a news article so she doesn't take the idea from me) "Cuz you know, she's a secret god, so she must have doors that lead to childrens' rooms, which will allow her to give presents easily."

"Sanae for sure." Remilia Scarlet, owner and head of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, said. "She's like the descendant of Suwako correct? So I expected her to give out good faith like what a good girl should do."

I showed Remilia's reasoning to Sanae Kochiya, maiden of Moriya Shrine. "IT'S DEFINITELY REMILIA!!!" Kochiya said. "She's putting the blame on someone else! And also, aren't they Western? And since Jesus is western, it makes a lot of sense why Remilia would be Santa!!!"

My opinion on who Youkai Santa is? Hmm.... I say it's the people at Eientei. Why? The presents I received were mochi rice cakes, and obviously Lunarians are famous for making mochi. Or it might be the fact that I love mochi as I was the only one that received it.

Well, whoever Youkai Santa is, it proves that the element of giving still exists in world of Gensokyo.

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Ever want to get medications exclusive to Eientei but unable to receive them because you'll get easily lost on your way there? Well not to worry! The Eientei Pharmacy will be established in the Human Village soon!

Let Koujou Inaba assist you with any medications you need!

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What am I selling? Items on sale at Kourindou!

By Pandora "PK" Kisaragi
Endorsed by Rinnosuke Morichika

Kourindou is a great place to buy good exclusives in the west. And thanks to the recent re-stocks from our good friends at the cactus company, we have more western goods to sell for you guys!

So here are the items that are on sale:

2hu Boy: 8000¥

Telescope of the West: 15000¥

Sony Walkman: 8000¥

Sony PlayStation 4: 30000¥

"Reimu-Endorsed" iPhone: 50000¥

"Marisa-Endorsed" Google Pixel 2: 45000¥

Dell Laptop: 60000¥

"Cactus Company" External Generator: 140000¥

Nitori's PC Series:
General: 85000¥
Professional: 100000¥
Ultimate Gaming: 120000¥

And there's more that I didn't put up. The only way to see more is to check out Kourindou!

And let's not forget about my shop; Kourin Media and Entertainment! Yep, things have changed ever since it only sold Eurobeat and Vaporwave CDs (as it was originally named Drifting of Gensokyo 89'), but now Kourin Media and Enteral has expanded to other genres of media and now, DVD!

Here is what the shop will be selling:

Eurobeat
TOHO Eurobeat Vol. 1-18: 2500¥ per album

GENSO EURO DRIFT Vol. 1-5: 2500¥ per album

Vaporwave
2HOU: 1000¥
G3NS0: 1500¥
D3V1L: 1500¥
MACINTOSH PLUS: 2000¥

Prismriver Albums
Popular Touhou Tunes ft. Pandora: 2000¥
Perfect Cherry Blossom: 1700¥
Phantom Ensemble Tour Mega Collection: 4500¥

Prismriver Tour DVDs
Behind the Scenes: 3400¥
Seasonal Tour 2018: 2500¥ per season album

Gravure Idol DVDs
Komachi goes to Beach Daytime (First appearance as Gravure Idol): 3000¥

Yuugi Hoshiguma, Drunken Beauty: 3000¥

Doki Doki Yakumo: 3500¥

Beauty of the Tengu: 3000¥

Lunatic Lust: 3500¥

Biker Hijiri: After Work: 4000¥

Faith is for the Transient Pervert: 3500¥

Miscellaneous
My Drive ft. Yago: CD ver. 2000¥, DVD ver. 3000¥, CD+DVD ver. 4000¥

Border of Life and Death: 2000¥

Hakurei Shine: 2500¥

My Alcoholic Desire: 2500¥

Union of Faith: 2500¥

These are not all media that the store offers. Come on down to the section between the Forest of Magic and Village to see all of our products!

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I kid you not, but there exists an excellent shop in the human village. Ever since Sakuya's Bubble Tea shop (named Bubble Pad's Tea) was built, I have been going there every week! Bubble Pad's have every single bubble flavor you can think of! From the popular to the obscure, there is surely a drink that will definitely suit you! Pad's also utilizes punch card technology that when you buy seven purchases from the store, you will receive one small size drink for free, just for being a loyal customer!

So come on down to Bubble Pad's Tea for the greatest Bubble Tea you'll ever have! Coupons located at the end of the volume.

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Workers for hire at McFlans! Must be 18 or older to apply.

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Komachi in Sexy Video? First Idol appearance!

By Rinnosuke Morichika

Endorsed by Komachi Onozuka

Well it's not surprising that men have a sense of heartthrob for beautiful women. Even the humans and youkai in this village can be an eye catcher. And one youkai is about to explode in popularity. One youkai is making her first debut as a gravure idol. That youkai, is Komachi Onozuka.

I sat down with Onozuka at a cafe and had the chance to ask her why she made that decision.

Rinnosuke: So, what made you become a gravure idol?

Komachi: Well for starters, I wanted to do more in life. Sending spirits to the border of life and death bored me to death. That why I felt like I can use my physique as an advantage to slew the men.

Rinnosuke: Doesn't Eiki know about this? What will happen if you get caught by her?

Komachi: Ah, no worries. I have my ways to avoid getting caught.

Komachi Goes to Beach Daytime is Onozuka's first gravure idol dvd. It first starts off with Onozuka in a bikini running on the smooth sand.

Komachi: I can tell how many people would look at my boobs when I go out for drinks. Yeah, boobs are the huge factor for a idol-like appearance.

Many close up shots of Komachi's boobs were definitely included in the DVD. This will provide a lot of great eye candy for the male viewers.

Rinnosuke: How did you feel when the crew filled you, doing all these provocative stuff?

Komachi: *laughs* It wasn't easy at first. I had to get used to the looks, like a lot. But actually, the crew never even made a finger on me. I'm not joking. They know my status as a woman and not a prostitute. I'm now used to the looks since I know they are fans to me. And you know what, I'm gonna give you a little present that you never forget for the rest of your life.

Komachi then proceeded to do something that I will never forget for the rest of my life. I thank the Gensokyo gods that I am a man. (A/N in case if you didn't know, Komachi showed both her bare tits at Rinnosuke. I think he would be shocked and delighted at the same time.)

Rinnosuke: What's your favorite part in the dvd?

Komachi: Personally, the shower scene. I put on a lot of soap on myself. Feels like a soapland really.

Rinnosuke: Here's my final question. Will you be doing more idol work?

Komachi: Definitely! Oh here's a secret: (A/N again: She whispered: "I might become a p***n star just to show my love towards my fans." I think Rinnosuke's pen15 went from smol to MANOSUKE)

Rinnosuke: Well thank you for this great interview! (Yeah he's really worn out from everything he saw and heard from her)

Komachi: No problem. It's great to talk about this opportunity to someone. (A/n lol when will Eiki catch ahold of this?)

You can get Komachi Goes to Beach Daytime at Kourin Media and Entertainment. Located beside Kourindou at the Human Village.

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Here at The Kourin Chronicle, we will provide you the greatest news Gensokyo will ever hear. We hopeto see you again in Volume 2! Thanks for reading, and here's a quick farewell message from yours truly, Komachi Onozuka.

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Hey everyone! It's Komachi! I hope you've enjoyed my first appearance as a gravure idol! I can feel the chills down the men's spines as they look at my lustiful body! I love those feelings so much! Well I hope to see you guys soon, because I'll be appearing at the 9th annual Idolcon at the Human Village! Legitimately, I can't wait to see all you guys there!

Until then, this is Komachi, and I hope you'll support my future work~~~~

Chu~~~❤❤❤

Bubble Pad's Tea: Get 50% off for a small drink!