I dreamed of death those days. Graduation time was soured by the fight between Clive and I. Somehow a lot of boys visited me in my special room with the academy physician attending to me every night.

It took a while before the physician finally said, "I think you may never hold a sword again." 

"Even a rapier?" I asked.

"Maybe, but I don't think you can move as well. It's like holding a stick, you can hold it but—it's quite useless, a stick."

I groaned and made no argument.

Will, Wyatt, Cory and Hale all came to hang out since my room was spacious and I was healing in the bed.

I couldn't walk due to a cut tendon in my leg, but my other arm could hold a crutch and my wrist was broken. Imagine Wyatt's damage during the hunt but doubled.

Their smiles were always forced and their eyes pitied me, but I still had what sweets they snuck to me.

"I can't believe Clive of all people would do that," Will finally broached the topic. The rest all jumped in.

"It didn't look like Clive at all!"

"You mean he didn't look normal."

"He reminded me of a hunting dog."

They fell back quiet until Wyatt joined in. "The Headmaster has students kill rebels."

"I heard of those special students! Clive and Nathan were, weren't they?" Cory asked.

"We were, but I left him alone," I said. "I betrayed him first."

"No!" Will scratched at his head. "The Headmaster is messed up, he must've told him something."

I suddenly remembered.

Before seeing Clive and all the attacks, back when I received the sword from the Headmaster, and what he said.

"The Headmaster told me if I made Clive unmovable, I'd be allowed to see him." I looked at them.

"That sounds like him alright," Wyatt growled.

"But then he's lying to you both!" Will complained. "Where is Clive? Where has he been? The graduation ceremony is soon."

"How are you going to stand?" Hale asked me.

"I should have a seat, the doctor told me," I answered. "So no one saw Clive at all?"

They looked at each other.

"No."

"Me neither."

I sighed.

After they were all leaving I called Will back.

"What's wrong?" Will asked.

"I don't feel safe. I don't know who to trust—and being unable to fight back scares me." I looked around. "Don't tell anyone but there's a dagger in my second drawer, can you get it for me? Secretly?"

Will nodded, "I'm scared for you, too. Tell me if you're in danger."

"Then can you get me one more thing?" I whispered it to Will and he nodded.

He got it for me that night.

The next day they visited we acted as though nothing had happened. We spoke on how they would rotate guarding me each night but I jokingly pushed it away. They spoke about decorating the halls and finally getting to skip class for a bit. Classes were mainly reviews and most boys were talking and fooling around.

Perhaps the boys sensed it, but I wanted to be alone. Graycotts Academy was great when I had Clive but now we can't be together, I don't want to graduate. I can't.

I began to sob.

"Clive? Clive?" I cried.

I heard no response, as I didn't the first time I was lucid after three days. I always called that name, hoping I'd see him.

"Clive, come back. Please, come back to me."

***

That night I was disturbed in my sleep. I opened my eyes and almost screamed to see the Headmaster's pale white mask. The moonlight in the window is far away but enough to let me see him.

"What?" I jolted up and my body all hurt at once. I relaxed, trying to not tense up. "Where is Clive?"

"You didn't render him motionless, did you? He won in the end," the Headmaster whispered, taunting me.

"Why did you tell him to fight me?"

"Why? Did you think I'd let you off the hook so easily?" He cackled like an imp. "Daniel lost an eye, and Nathaniel lost an arm. I told Clive to cut it off, but he refused."

"Are you still mad about my family? Why don't you kill me right now?" I asked.

"I would, but your father would be quite mad at this academy. I can't have that happening after under my watch."

"Aren't you a refuge?"

There was enough hesitation for me to grin.

"I knew it. You really are a refuge. Do you wish for Goldenvale to accept you if you kill their enemies?" I mocked.

The Headmaster stepped back.

"You're always going to be a refuge, sorry to disappoint you. Your petty acts of traumatizing others like me are over. I'll see my father gets this academy closed down for you. I've had a messenger write everything down. If I am hurt, it says, it is your planning—Professor Ezra Atlas."

He is wary but draws closer and his voice is trembling slightly.

"Don't you dare use that name! Who was it? Was it Clive?" he looked around, but my room was empty. I was sure of it.

"No. It was Elias. Your toy. He had sketched down your face without a mask after you raped him. He showed professors who know you as Ezra Atlas, but you're a refuge, and Atlas is a well-known name."

"Be quiet!"

I raised my voice. "Ezra, oh, Ezra. You were their bright student from years ago, but the Headmaster is supposed to be named something else. Your fake identity is Professor Hughes Grady. Poor professor, did you kill him?" 

"No!" He reached for my throat but biting my lips from wincing, my left arm smacked the dagger into his mask.

It cracked, a soft sound but makes Ezra wince and turn his mask. I know what he looks like underneath. Wyatt is a talented artist and out for revenge.

I take the other item I had hid. A whistle.

My whistle is loud, but the sleeping boys who didn't hear it wouldn't care, but steps thumped and Ezra holds his mask as pieces fall and tried to grab my dagger, but I make another jag at his throat and he holds it away, blood dripping down his hand. He turned to ram but there they were.

"You said I was special," Wyatt shouted. "Do you know my face? Do you remember my name?" The silence of the night returned. The boys have gathered. Most are our age or a year younger.

In total ten boys wearing masks showed up. Two didn't but were in hiding.

"You said I was special." A masked boy took a step closer.

"Me, too." Another boy comes closer.

"So you lie for us to kill?"

"Why did you do that? I hate it! I hate you!"

"You're not even Professor Grady!"

"Ezra!"

"Ezra!"

"Ezra!"

The chant of masked boys creeped him out as much as me. The Headmaster turned and looked right at me, eyes blaming me, and he doesn't speak. He clapped to get their attention but I won't let him.

"Go for it!"

Cory and Hale are positioned in the back and run out to tackle the Headmaster to the floor. Will and Wyatt are at the front, both with their own weapons. Will hovered the sword up.

"I killed men under your directions while you took advantage of my friend!" Will brings it down, the first stab in his forearm.

"Are you foolish? Get me up!" The Headmaster, no, Ezra, is hiding his pain well. 

"I said multiple times I didn't want to." The person saying it is sobbing, but I recognize Wyatt's voice. "I trusted you. I had no one else."

Wyatt raised his sword and pierced the Headmaster's stomach.

The silence is chilling and I look at the Headmaster. His mask was fall off but he made no motion to fix it. He was breathing slightly, heaving in pain. A pain I understood well.

"What did you tell Clive?" I asked. His eyes dart to mine like an animal's eyes and it unnerves me. The whites of his eyes are so prominent I'm disgusted. "Answer me!"

"I told him—" he coughed up blood, and the rest were gurgles.

"Tell me!" I threatened, staring at him under my bed. "I can still call for help if you answer me."

"I told him if he won, you wouldn't be hurt—" Ezra coughed up more blood.

"Where is he?"

"In the stables—"

"Why?"

"He gets my messages at the stable." He coughed, and began heaving loudly. "Save me."

I stepped out of bed, my wound hurting, but I still held my dagger and the excruciating pain reminding me of Clive allowed me to move without any hesitation. The Jugular. The brachial vein. Around his jaw. On his face.

We watched as he bled out quietly, eyes glassy and no one there wanted to help him. I stood up.

In silence the remaining boys take off their masks and tossed it on the corpse. Then the ones I don't know began to file out. Wyatt and Will are last. They looked at the body and stayed

"Don't be stupid, we need a scapegoat. I'm fine with being in jail, but you have siblings," Wyatt pushed Will away roughly. "And you have Mona. Don't let this ruin you."

"I won't leave. I'm staying." Will was shaking and closes his eyes every so often to ground himself in reality.

Cory and Hale stood there.

"We can take your part, Will. I think you should go, you have no part in this," Hale argued.

"Same for you two!"

"But I'm fine with this if he is," Cory said. Hale wrapped an arm over Cory. "We will be fine. Just leave."

"No. I'll bring this corpse outside!" Will begins to pull the body's leg but Wyatt slapped him.

"Wyatt!" Cory called out. There was silence. It's kind of awkward to have them argue at my bedside when there's one obvious scrapegoat."

"Get out, Will, Wyatt," I said. "It's seriously annoying me. Just go outside and fight it off. I only need Cory and Hale."

The two look hurt but like old days, they go back to their room, avoiding eye contact, tense.

Hale spoke first. "I'm really fine taking the blame, I never dreamt of being a knight."

"And this stranger ruined your arm by making Clive fight against you!" Cory spat, kicking the corpse. "Should've let him suffer more."

"I am surprised you invited us to this—this. I'm glad I know what happened between Clive and you—and this man. A refuge killing rebels groups and refugees?" Hale looked stunned.

"Please do as I say," I began to whisper. "Take the sword on the arm and hide it. Clean it. Just throw this body with one sword."

"That's smart. They can't blame you when you're in this condition anyway. They also are looking for Professor Grady, not this person." Hale is obedient and does as I say, but I feel an inkling of distrust from Cory.

"What if, what if you do get blamed for it?" Cory asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe I'll leave Goldengrove."

They do as I say and covered the floor with an unused bed sheet. It was still stained a dark red, but not as apparent as before. I'm glad I no longer see that face nor mask by my side.

"Thanks for offering to guard me, have a deep sleep after this," I said.

They both looked traumatized but nodded and headed back, holding hands.