We bid goodbye to the families, and Heloise gave me a handkerchief dabbed in perfume as a popular gesture in Goldenvale for those who marry knights. I thought it was imprudent and ignored it.

Clive and I returned to Graycotts and soon life resumed a strange sort of routine although we were back for only a few days.

Will grew a bit of hair, as did the others who lost. Hale and Cory bragged about their winter adventures. Cory was slyly telling us how he was talking to a beautiful girl after bumping into each other in town. Hale, on the other hand, caught a glimpse of His Majesty at an opera.

We returned to the lounge where a lot of eleventh years were chattering. School was ending and in the meantime we kept up with our exercises. The hunt was over and done with, and instead of playing chess by ourselves in the corner, Will and I upgraded to the seats with Clive, Cory, and Hale.

We played cards and loser would recite some Latin so we learned in that way. I watched as the boys recited from the book we read, and I admired Clive's side profile and long, swan-like neck. I wondered how his language sounded.

Within a week, though, the bliss was broken. The Headmaster called us and as we changed that night I was afraid to speak.

If I spoke, maybe Clive would realize how much danger he was in, how he couldn't lie for my sake.

Clive turned to me and held out a hand.

"Let's go, Nell," he whispered, his mask hiding his true expression. I put the mask on and took his hands.

We walked, and as we went down the gray halls I thought of how I had changed. I had began to actually think.

It is natural that rebels existed, that some citizens do not like how Goldenvale is trying to gain land as the cost of lives. If Jonathan didn't come home one day, would I not mourn and despise the system?

Father, however, could definitely have pulled strings so Jonathan didn't need to fight in dangerous battles but be the head commander. Either way, I wondered if it was actually worth it.

The war that we've been in is a war on countries but Goldenvale. We are never attacked—because they conquered the weak. If so, did it matter to kill rebels in our country?

Should we not focus on the war instead of killing our own people?

I found it all confusing but gripped Clive's hand tightly as we walked into the office I loathed.

The white mask greeted us.

"Greetings, Nell, Five. What are your reports concerning the incident at the Rottings House?" he asked casually.

"There is no indication there is rebel activity," Clive said. "Nell, tell him about your brothers."

"Both brothers are not lying, butler included. They seem unaware because we are far from the back door, the servants' quarters. Our butler, however, lives in a different room," I said honestly.

"Then what of the guests?"

The Headmaster was like a mind-reader. I was sure I didn't tell him about that.

"Well, some guests seem suspicious. The Wordsworth house sent their son along," Clive lied to him. "Kane Wordsworth. The sister seemed more ignorant."

He was even protecting Christa Wordsworth, maybe for Jonathan. And me.

I dared to look at the Headmaster but he was looking at his desk, deep in thought.

"There's going to be a lot more rebels for the two of you to help with, my twelth years have to prepare for the knight exam." He tapped a pen lightly on his desk. "I'll put the Rottings family aside for now, maybe assign someone to keep watching. If I feel it is required, I will leave Nell out of future contact with this case."

"No," I said quickly. "I swear loyalty to Goldenvale, country of gold and strength. I have the bravery needed to cast the Rottings family down; I don't want to brothers with traitors."

His thin and dry lips curled into a satisfied smile.

"I believe that, too. After all, you're a murderer. What is family to you, anyways?" The Headmaster chuckled in a weird way, a low pitched laugh like he was holding back.

The fury in me grew. I was so mad my fist shook, but I clasped my hands behind me and straightened my back.

How could he say that? He made us a murderer, at only sixteen, and now seventeen.

"What is our assignment for today?" Clive asked.

"Oh, nothing." The Headmaster played with his pen."I had the knights in training kill the rebel army from before break. Now I'll wait for my next mission. Have a pleasant night without murder, goodbye."

We left the study and walked to our room. I took off my mask and unable to contain it anymore, slammed it to the ground.

Contain, Nathan, contain!

"Damn you!" I shouted, kicking the mask. It shattered into two and the dam of anger in me broke, flooding me as I screamed.

"Nathan!"

Clive hugged me from behind again, but this time he was soothing me. He had taken off his coat and mask and I wondered what I should do when Clive took my cloak off.

"Nathan, he's a nasty person. You're not cruel at all, you're sweet. Sensitive. Understanding." Clive carefully touched my tensed up arms, relaxing them.

I turned around and saw the green eyes matching the green gem on his earlobe. He saw my gaze and touched my earlobe.

"Next time you feel bad, touch your earring. It's me. That's me, in you." Clive rolled my earlobe as he spoke. "No one knows you like I do. I know it's hard for you. Of course it would be."

"So you're not saying anything?" I asked. "You truly don't think he'll catch on?"

"What the hell, Nathan! Let me see you naked." Clive reached for my shirt. "I was dying to make love in your house!"

"I'm going to be rough," I said, feeling the heat in me.

I turned towards him and reached under his shirt. He held on to me and panted as I played with his nipples, then unbuttoned his shirt. I kissed his pecs and under his armpits where he was ticklish.

He fell back onto the bed as I tugged his pants off. I kissed all over but not his genitals. I toyed with him until he was morning hard.

"I'm already hard—so hard," he whispered.

I jizzed out my precum before moving my wet finger along Clive's anus.

"I'm going in."

Clive let out a wanton cry as I put the trembling tip in, then thrusted. His chest fell up and down with each breath and I leaned down to roughly bite his lips.

"Nathan," Clive said, and I know kisses and running my hands on his side got him hard.

All the anger fizzled out. I had Clive. What more did I want? Did I really care about the war and rebels?

No.

We were just ordinary boys, having fun.

I put my hand on his cock and quickly gave him a handjob, finger holding the tip as I knew he would ejaculate soon. He was writhing in pleasure, reaching for my hand.

I held that rough, hardworking hand, and moved inside of him. He was tight around me and so warm, and seeing him covered in cum and smile through it was indescribable.

"I like it, Nathan," his raspy voice said.

And I did, too.

***

Time flies. We had a remarkable winter break but spring was full of studying. Of course I was able to get back on track, but it bothered me that Clive only needed to flip through books to memorize it. It wasn't even his first language.

We studied in the lounge as usual, Will and I explaining each other's wrong answers for one another during mock exams. Clive knew Will needed the emotional support of a friend and I was the only one.

Cory and Hale came too, but the were always easily bored by mock tests, and played cards off to the side with Clive. Samuel came in and he was almost grey, he was so green-toned.

"What's the matter?" I asked, as politely as I could.

Samuel had lost at the hunt badly, and his teammate abandoned him. He was both pissed and trying to study without his roommate, therefore the lounge.

He was quiet, but it wasn't once other boys poured in to join us. He stood by idly and Clive looked at him curiously. No doubt he was wondering if Samuel was trying to be our friend again after ignoring us last semester.

"Would you like to sit down?" I asked first, telling myself to make a move for once. His face darkened and he stepped away. All the boys around us were greeting each other or even stood up to talk to others, so Samuel said it.

"I know what the Rottings house is up to—" he opened my mouth and I knew he was going to saying "Nathan" but changed his mind. "Rottings."

I pulled back my lips and rose, but Clive caught my by the sleeve of my blazer. He pulled and I moved, but to slap his hand away as I remained seated.

What was Samuel saying? How had rumors spread, and to Samuel Goldings who had no friend but Clive?

"Where did you hear it from?" I asked calmly, not betraying my face nor voice.

"Oh, you know. People from your fancy ball, my cousins were invited, that's all." He made a nasty laugh. "I knew you knight families are full of shite!"

Clive was up before I could stop it and slapped his face. Samuel's eyeglasses fell on the floor and he whimpered before looking down at his feet.

Everyone's eyes were on us, and the room fell silent and hollow.

"Don't you dare go around spreading any rumors. I'll tell my patron and they could easily undo your life," Clive whispered to the boy now looking at the floor.

Clive bent down and picked up the glasses and handed it to him.

He smiled tiredly. "Sorry, it was my bad to get so mad, Samuel. Be careful with your eyeglasses, I'm glad it didn't break this time."

Everyone laughed and began goofing around as usual, never knowing what Samuel said.