I waited for Jonathan to make his decision on the girls, but Daniel and I would listen as he listed the pros and cons of each girl.

Lilith was winning with her intelligence so far, but Lucia had Jonathan's attention for a while. The Wordsworth sister, Christa, was second place, as she was from a knight family herself and made good conversation.

"Which family has more power?" I asked Jonathan.

He raised an eyebrow. "Why do you want to know?"

"Out of curiosity. Also, isn't Daniel also getting along with someone?" I smiled in his direction.

"What—fine. Yes, Therese Forster is talking to me." Daniel rolled his eyes up. "And she's in my age range so we've been speaking."

"She's the only one in your age range," I pointed out.

"It isn't like I'm going to marry her. She makes good conversation and I am bored standing alone sometimes!" Daniel sighed dramatically. "Back to you, Jonathan, don't you and Lucia talk more?"

"Lucia is too young for my tastes," Jonathan explained carefully, "but she could be in your age range, if you want to talk to girls, Daniel."

"Very funny. How old is she?" Daniel asked.

"Lilith is twenty-nine, Lucia is twenty-four, and Christa is twenty-eight."

Jonathan was thirty, and Daniel turned twenty-six. I secretly believe father had sent Jonathan all the girls and only Heloise and Carmine were for Daniel or I.

Jonathan brushed back his dark hair and rested his head on his palm.

"Lucia Sargent is charming, but she's just not informed about things. For example, she wants daughters. She wants to stop at two children, which I know father won't like."

"Why does father matter?" I asked. "If you like her, don't hesitate."

"No, Lucia Sargent also doesn't know about the war and colonies of Goldenvale," Jonathan groaned.

"She doesn't know about what knights are involved in?" I asked, surprised. She really was a brainless beauty.

"I will give it a few days," Jonathan said, standing up. "By the way, Nathan, the Wordsworth family is obviously more prestigious as their son is also a knight."

"Thank you for telling me," I replied curtly.

"Well, I'll be leaving now. I have to send letters thanking them for coming over..." Jonathan groaned to himself as he left the room.

Daniel sat there with me, both of us still awkward around each other. We hadn't spoke since the time in the kitchen, and so I forced a smile.

"I'm glad you're talking to Therese. Maybe she is interested in you," I suggested to him in a lighthearted manner.

"No," he cut me off, "I'm not interested in getting married!"

"Never? Father will make you have an arranged marriage like he tried with Jonathan," I laughed sarcastically.

Once Jonathan was engaged without seeing the girl, and he was going to go with it. Fortunately or unfortunately the engagement fell through when her family was discovered to be doing 'unpatriotic' activities.

"I will talk to Therese when I'm thirty, then," Daniel joked back.

"What if she's taken?" I dropped my smile, serious. "You know, if something is precious to you hold it tight. Don't let go. I know one day I'll have to let go, but until then, I'm believing in them." 

"Sounds like you are in love."

"What?" I laughed. "No."

"It's Clive, isn't it?" Daniel's voice was low.

I was too stunned to speak. He was right—but how would Daniel know?

"How do you know?" I finally admitted.

"You know, you're very different around him. Mainly summer, and recently."

A week had passed and had been close with Clive ever since that day. Sometimes I snuck to his guest room with clean sheets and helped him change it, kissing in secret. Another time we said we'd go for a morning run and once again, made out.

Clive's skin was beautiful, so strangely pale from mine, and I kissed all the scars on his body. I kissed his thighs, which he loved, and I enjoyed seeing him grow hard but be unable to fuck.

I turned to Daniel.

"How am I different?"

"Hmm. I don't know. Maybe because I've never seen you like this, kind of more serene. You don't berate yourself as much," Daniel responded. He smirked. "It's kind of naughty, you two being lovers. Will you two continue being knight partners after you two graduate?"

"No—I don't know." I sighed heavily and Daniel kept talking, maybe to entertain me.

"It's fine. It's going to be a part of you, a precious memory. You can hold on to him, too, if both of you pass the knight exam. You might even get teamed up again," he reassured me.

"It's fine, for now, as a child. Logically, this can never work out. Maybe we will both marry and have an affair. It's hard, not being able to be his person, and for him to be mine." I stretched and stood up. "But it's late, we should go to sleep."

"Is it, and don't worry, I'll keep this from father and Jonathan." Daniel gave me a small, reassuring smile. I saw his eyepatch and thought of the Headmaster. Guilt flooded me but I quickly gave a bright smile back.

"I feel like Jonathan is way too occupied with his problems right now to notice anything," I laughed.

"It's nice for once. Good night, Nathan."

"Good night, Daniel."

I left the library and making sure there was no one listening to us outside. Aimlessly I walked to Clive's room. It was the last day to give my answer to his 'game'. I had no idea but I would stay safe and say Sargent was Jonathan's ultimate choice.

Knowing this choice was either wrong or right and might make our family a traitor made my blood run cold. Father, Jonathan, and Daniel all worked hard for our family name.

And I can destroy with one word.

I was already cold but I felt colder feeling that. I walked to the guest rooms and knocked, once, at Clive's door. There was no reply, but it was hitting midnight and I didn't want to be past the deadline.

Afraid of knocking too loudly, I opened the door and went into his room.

Clive was reading a book before he saw me close the door behind me.

"Nathan!" He jumped up, book falling onto the bed. He was all grins.

"Damn it, I don't know the family." I said outright.

"You didn't even greet me." Clive seemed bored. "Nothing?"

"If you're asking about the families, yes, I know nothing. I've spoke to all the other people, such as Therese, the Sargent sisters—everyone. I hope the younger girls weren't on the list?" I eyed him.

"Nope," he said, "they aren't on the list."

"Do you want me to guess the family who is involved?"

"Sure," came his almost taunting voice. "Say it."

I thought long and hard, and from watching people Lucia seemed a bit—embarrassed to say the least, always interrupting, laughing at small things, and her sister Lilith was surely responsible to stop her if they were somehow living double lives.

Christa Wordsworth was careful, almost tiptoeing around Jonathan, testing him with different topics until they related on talking about horses. An unusual activity for a normal girl, I thought.

My mouth opened to answer.

"The Wordsworth House."

The brother who came along Christa, Kane Wordsworth, didn't really talk to anyone but his sister. It was respectful of him, considering it was a ball for Jonathan and Daniel to choose suitable wives.

In fact, he observed us.

Guessing from how the Wordsworth family had a knight, which I overlooked, yet still not talk to any female was strange. He never even made conversation during dinner and only spoke to Daniel or Richie.

I looked at Clive. "So, is it right?"

"Wrong."

He seemed pleased and his lovely smile and dimples for once made me fired up.

"But if Jonathan doesn't marry the wrong family it's alright, remember?" I declared.

"Yes, so who is he marrying into?"

"Sargent—or Wordsworth." I narrowed my eyes but Clive only shook back his hair, laughing silently.

"It's the Sargent family."

"No!" I shouted, then closed my mouth. "No damn way!"

"It's only one sister, so do be careful who he chooses," Clive said, combing his hair back with his fingers.

"How do you know for sure?" I snapped back.

"You know, I actually know the language the maids they brought over spoke in." Clive grinned and pointed at himself.

I had noted some ladies had similar yellow hair, which was not rare in Goldenvale but not common. A lot of the king's original knights, such as my grandfather's generation, were dark-haired. Knight families also tended to marry into one another so the knights were often dark haired with olive skin.

Clive was pale and his hair really did seem golden. Most of our guests, therefore, are dark-haired.

Due to patrons and helping refuges, some were given jobs and like the maids, a new life. I had heard their home language, soft but quick with our words with a strange little accent.

"What did you hear exactly?" I inquired.

Clive motioned for me to come closer.

"The maids are saying Lilith is perfect but Jonathan might eventually succumb to Lucia. That the 'she-devil' will take over the house and host more of her illegal parties. Unfortunately, I do not know which one is the devil," Clive admitted.

"Wouldn't Lilith be the devil, as she is named after a demon?"

"Or would it be Lucia, who seduces men?" Clive asked in return.

"I don't know! This isn't helping at all! Should I have my brother marry into the Wordsworth family instead?" I panicked.

"No, don't!" Clive grabbed my wrist and said in a calming tone, "Don't worry, Nathan. The game doesn't matter."

"It doesn't? Won't you tattle on Jonathan, though?" I asked. He was still, finger unraveling on my wrist.

"Well, I don't know which sister it is, and the Headmaster won't know." His eyelids lowered, his pupils dim. "I'll say I saw no crimes and I know he knows how important it is to be perfect for my patron, he will not suspect me of lying."

"Clive."

I hugged him, cutting him off but so happy, so warm. I had somehow caught that fire within me and tamed it to a flame enough for my heart.

Clive loved how I was hurt, he liked seeing me beg at his hands, tears on my face. He liked power over me.

And was that so wrong? He was only a poor boy, and if it pleased him, I wouldn't hesitate to kiss his feet.