the kiss list, adrian pucey
𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓/𝒋𝒂𝒏𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒚, 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟐-𝟑

chapter thirty-six, BAD TIMING

✧ ━━━ · ✦ · ━━━ ✧

     MAXINE O'FLAHERTY WAS TRYING HER BEST. But when Bianca hadn't done so much as smiled, it was getting quite hard to be optimistic.

     "You wanna do something tonight?" The Hufflepuff asked her friend, as the pair sat in the library ─ Bianca with her head craned towards a stack of parchment, no doubt an essay she was doing, and Maxine, trying to get out of the mundane room, without feeling bad that she was leaving Bianca there all on her own, on New Years. "I heard the Ravenclaw are finally pulling their weight and having a party for New Years," she suggested, although it was more like a prompt ─ Maxine really wanted to be at that party, and not studying in the library.

     Bianca didn't lookup. There was no way she was in the mood for a party (if she ever was ─ she still isn't the biggest fan), "Nah, I'll probably fall asleep by ten," It was part of a lie. Bianca didn't quite want to admit that she would rather stay in the library alone, writing a Charms essay, during the school holidays, and on the last night of the year, then go to a party. "You should go, though," she added, just to make it clear that Bianca wasn't going to force Maxine to stay with her in her tragic environment of a teenage girl

     "That's not the attitude to have," Maxine pouted. When Bianca didn't reply or exclaim excitedly that she wanted to go, the Hufflepuff's shoulders drooped to the floor. "You either cooperate, or I drag you there," she demanded.

     Bianca sighed, and let her quill fall onto the pile of paper. She looked her friend in the eyes, all tired, and fed up, "So either way, I'm going?"

     "Uh-huh."

     Bianca couldn't be bothered to do anything, as of late. And "by late", that means the past twenty-four hours. Leo had put together a small celebration for Bianca's victory, and she was so internally grateful that she lucked out in the friend department. There was cake, banners, and a very large turnout for what she had won. But after seeing Adrian, Bianca had become very down in the dumps. Which is the complete opposite of how she should be feeling. She won the Hogwarts Chess Championship only yesterday, and to some, that may seem lame, and not much of an accomplishment. But it was to Bianca. She had wanted that title since her first year, and now that she had finally got it? She was too sad to even lighten up a bit, and celebrate the end of a pretty decent year.

     1992 bought fun bets (although she's even questioning how that's going), amazing O.W.L results in her previous year, she turned sixteen (not that exciting, but apparently important), and her parents had even brought her a car, for Pete's sake, so she could learn how to drive. And of course, she became the best chess player in the school. So why didn't she want to celebrate it?

     Because there was a 99% chance Adrian Pucey was going to be at this party.

➼

     BIANCA DIDN'T KNOW WHY she was holding out for that 1% that he wasn't going to be there, because almost the second she arrived, she spotted him sat by the royal blue fireplace, on a very jewel-embezzled sofa. Bianca was too stressed that she couldn't even appreciate the beauty of the Ravenclaw common room ─ not even its bookshelf wall. It was literally a wall of books, and she couldn't even find the mental capacity to stop and admire it for just a second.

     There was eye contact involved as well. Short, awkward, very intense eye contact, in which Adrian pulled his eyes away sharply, very quickly, by pretending to laugh at what Cassius Warrington had said on the sofa opposite, and taking a tight sip of his drink.

     Bianca didn't look away quite so quickly ─ she wanted to hold on for just a little bit longer. And she was longing for him to do the same. But it fizzled out like flat champagne, and a spark had died out in a matter of seconds.

     Maxine O'Flaherty stopped Bianca from staring and made her cheeks run cold once again when she dragged her away to her own friends. Why thank you, Maxine. Because Anthony Rickett is just the person she wants to see right now.

     Bianca just about complied, only because she wasn't sure who else she'd go hang with. Leo and Alicia had planned a date, and Katie and Oliver had snuck out to Hogsmeade to watch the fireworks, that the Weasley Twins were busy planning. At least Angelina was amongst the small Hufflepuff group that Maxine was heading over to. From what Bianca had heard, Angelina had never been in a more comfortable relationship than the one she was currently in with Maxine.

     "Bianca," Maxine stepped aside so Bianca could be introduced like a doll on display, "This is Herbert, Michael, and Zach, and you've met Malcolm and Ced," Maxine went across a group of very tall boys, and Bianca offered the most genuine, pleased-to-meet-you smile she could muster, along with a short wave. She knew of Herbert Fleet ─ keeper. And of Michael McManus ─ he and Zacharias Smith are reserves for the Badger's Quidditch team, Bianca just hadn't spoken to them enough over the past five years to not need a formal introduction.

     Another boy walked up behind Cedric, three drinks balanced in his hands, and three more beer bottles floating behind him. Even taller than Cedric, and a larger build, Bianca knew that rough head of hair, but Maxine didn't think she did.

     "Oh and this is Anthony; I'm not sure you two have met," Maxine smiled, with a hint of a smirk in Bianca's direction, sliding her arm around Angelina's waist, as Anthony passed around the six drinks to his friends.

     Bianca made quick eye contact with the boy, before reverting her attention quickly to Maxine, "Oh we've met," she assured.

     "Chess Tournament, yesterday. Bianca was the one that beat my ass and stole my trophy," Anthony joked.

     "It was you?" Malcolm chuckled. Bianca offered a sheepish nod. "Well, congratulations. I didn't think anyone could beat Ant. What with his constant practice. But then again, I guess if anyone could, it would be you."

     Bianca felt her cheeks flush, as the rest of the group offered their congratulations, and Anthony didn't seem fazed at all. Except for the fact that Maxine and Bianca had arrived after he had been sent on drinks duty, and so he made haste offerings to return to the bar to get them both a beverage, but Bianca assured she was fine to do it herself. Maxine decided to tag along as well.

     "Why didn't you tell me you had met Anthony?" Maxine asked as the two of them fought their way through the crowds.

     "I didn't know it was important information," Bianca replied, as the duo just about made it over to where the drinks selection was stationed. "Besides, I've met him before. He helped Katie, Angie, and I into Malcolm's party."

     Maxine looked slightly puzzled, but soon moved on from it, as she served herself and Bianca two tall plastic cups of whatever liquid was closest ─ for the first time, Bianca didn't care what she was drinking at a party. Seeing Adrian wasn't a good start, and she needed a distraction to take her mind off of it.

     "So, are you going to make your move?" Maxine asked with a wink, her voice laced with deviousness.

     Bianca's plan to stay distracted soon failed when she found herself cautiously scanning the crowds for Adrian. It was difficult, what with the bobbing heads, and congested room. She tried to catch a glimpse of the area she saw him sat at a few minutes ago, but by the time that she had located it, it had been taken over by a group Ravenclaws ─ Bianca shuddered when she saw Jeremy Stretton amongst them ─ and Maxine was clicking her fingers at her face, baffled by Bianca's ease to zone out.

     "Hmm?" Bianca hummed shaking her head to forget her mission to find Adrian.

     "Anthony? Make a move?" Maxine prompted.

     Bianca was quick to shake her head fiercely but also anxious to admit she had been there and done that. "I kissed Anthony," she mumbled.

     Apparently, Maxine had some next-level hearing because even with Bianca's quiet muttering, and the blasting music and loud chatter, the Hufflepuff was still able to make out her friend's words. And her mouth hung open. "You've already kissed him? When? How?"

     The bombardment of questions and a constant reminder that The Kiss List will follow her everywhere made Bianca nervous. "Yesterday. Chess Tournament. We went in for a kiss on the cheek, but turned the same way." Bianca wanted to keep this as simple as possible, and so took a cup out of Maxine's hands, and took a large swig out of it.

     Maxine looked stunned, and yet very amused by Bianca's boldness, and speed to knock yet another one off in such a short time period. She wasn't even going to question if that counts, because Bianca knows the rules better, and Maxine was too overrun with pride, to want to ruin that. But she didn't have a chance to express any of that, before Bianca had downed the entire cup, slammed it on the table, and asked if they could dance.

      Maxine very quickly agreed, noticing Bianca's unnerved state, and so she picked up Angelina from the group of boys, before Bianca led them to the center of the dance floor. Bianca didn't quite know why she wanted to dance. Was it because she was stressed, and dancing was a way to free herself from it? Or was it because being in the middle of the room gave her more access to survey the rest of the room for Adrian more clearly? Whatever it was, dancing to Madonna seemed to be helping right now.

      But after about four minutes, when the song had faded away, and the beat had died out, so did her relaxed state. Because listening to Michael Jackson's "Rock with you" wasn't very good for Bianca's misery levels.

     The drum riff was unavoidable, and the guitar that followed it wasn't something her mind was making up. And for once, Bianca cursed the name of the DJ for playing Michael Jackson.

     She tried to play it off like nothing was wrong. But in truth, not being friends with Adrian ─ if that's what was currently happening with him ─ wasn't as "okay" as Bianca kept lying to herself that it was.

     "God," Angelina leaned in so the two girls could hear her better, "They overplay this song at parties at this school, don't you think?"

     No. It's a great song. Granted, it's the last song Bianca wanted to listen to as of right now, but that doesn't take away its genius song-writing levels. "Y-yeah, definitely," Bianca lied with a forced chuckle to follow.

     "Hey, who's staring at you?" Maxine nudged Bianca's side, as she swayed her hips and enjoyed the song that Bianca was trying to enjoy as well.

     Following Maxine's finger, Bianca's eyes once again landed on the same group of clustered, blue sofas over by the fireplace, where Adrian was once sat. It had now been rendered by a group of six-year Ravenclaws, one of which, Maxine had spotted admiring Bianca and her black dress that came to her knees. Dirty blonde, broad shoulders, chiseled bone structure.

     "Jason Samuels," Bianca answered, turning her attention away from the smouldering boy very quickly.

     Maxine once again was surprised by Bianca's behaviour. She hadn't even batted an eye at the boy. Maxine knew who the boy was. In fact, she even knew his place on The Kiss List. Number eighteen. Maybe Bianca was the one that didn't know that? "Bi, he's kinda cute. He's been checking you out since we got here," Maxine drawled, but Bianca paid as much attention to the Hufflepuff's words as she did to Jason. "You should go talk to him. And I know I might have been a bit out of order earlier with Anthony and everything, but," Maxine lowered her voice, because her girlfriend was less than a yard away, and wasn't aware of Bianca's juvenile bet. "He's on the list, girl."

    Bianca heard the word "list" and threw up in her mouth. Not literally, but what with the alcohol intake she had taken very recently, and the thought of this bet taking over her entire life, vomit was a very realistic possibility.

     But she didn't throw up. And what stopped that was her heart being poked at with a needle. Adrian Pucey was also looking right at her. And she was looking at him too.

      The chorus came into play now, and Adrian clawed his eyes away from the girl, to finish the rest of his drink. From how long it took him to do so, Bianca reckons there was quite a lot in there for one gulp. He muttered something to his friends, pushed through populous clump, and disappeared up a twirling staircase that Bianca was unsure of where it led.

     "I'll be right back," she told her two friends, Maxine once again baffled by Bianca's inability to process the words she was being fed. Max knew why Bianca had been slightly sad recently ─ she was the first person Bianca went to about Adrian suddenly avoiding her. But knowing Bianca, Max didn't think it would take any kind of toll on her. Bianca was independent, and, apparently, not at all in love with Adrian. So why was his distance affecting her so negatively?

     "But Bi, it's almost midnight!?" Angelina called out, but Bianca had already fled to a spiral staircase at the back of the common room, and the couple was left with the bridge of Michael Jackson's "Rock with you" Bianca-less.

     She skipped up the steps, her heart skipping a few beats. She hadn't decided whether it was nerves, or just the alcohol starting to kick in.

     Bianca never found out where the top of the spiral staircase led, because she found Adrian, sitting on a step about halfway up, staring out at the sky, through a tall window, finished with blue stained-glass touches.

      Adrian heard the footsteps but didn't look, out of the want to be left alone. Hearing the song wasn't the worst part. It was seeing Bianca as the lyrics echoed around the Ravenclaw common room, just like they had done on the night of October thirty-first when the two of them were forced into a storage closet during a game of seven minutes in heaven. Maybe that's why it hurt so much to hear it in public ─ because everything was so simple back then. And he wanted it to back the way it was. Before they got closer than Bianca likes to admit. Before everyone saw them as the it-couple, but rather as a duo that bickered like their lives depended on it. Everything was so much simpler when their relationship consisted of childish squabbling and juvenile competitions. Why did it have to get more than that?

     Bianca cleared her throat, anxious to speak, "Mind if I join?"

     Yes. Yes, he does mind. Please don't sit there, Bianca ─ Adrian begs of you.

     "Sure," he mumbled, quick to look away from her as if the windowpane was ten times as interesting. He knew it was her ─ even before she spoke. Just by how the figure in his peripheral vision stood and waited to speak. Just by the gentleness of her steps against the cold, marble stairs.

     Bianca sat on the step below him, so the beautiful scenery outside the window could be shared between them. The night sky was lit up with stars, that would soon be accompanied by dazzling fireworks when the time came. But for now, it seemed as though neither of them had anything to talk about.

     Bianca decided to take one for both of them, and break the semi-awkward silence, "My nan used to love stars, you know. When she found out I was a witch, she told me that stars were the closest she ever got to magic, and so they reminded her of me."

     Adrian didn't reply. He felt his face crack a smile though, he just didn't show it to her.

     "She taught my dad how to play chess."

     He pulled his legs tighter into his chest.

     Bianca smiled at the thought of it ─ if he wasn't going to respond, she could at least remind herself that it was a nice story to tell, just to the wrong audience.

     Once again, Bianca realized early on that she would have to carry this conversation. "You see the star to your left and down?" she asked, pointing her hand to a flashy speck amongst a sea of black. Adrian nodded his head faintly, after following her hand to a star, surrounded by a dozen others. "That's Sirius. The brightest star in the sky. Also known as Alpha Canis Majoris, in Latin terms, or the Dog Star. It's twenty times brighter than the sun and also has a temperature that exceeds it by 3,900 degrees Celcius."

     Bianca quickly regretted her words ─ she had been reading far too much into astronomy as of late, purely out of boredom. Because she had read them all before. "I don't know why I told you that."

     Adrian looked down over to her, after taking some time to admire Sirius. Now was the time to admire Bianca and her big brain and all its random, yet interesting facts. "I don't know why I told you that." Adrian doesn't either, but he liked it.

     They shared a moment of eye contact, and the faint glimpse of a smile crept up onto his face, and suddenly, Bianca didn't regret saying anything at all anymore. Before he went red and looked away. Too much eye contact threw him off.

     Just by her talking at him, about random facts about the stars, Adrian was falling that bit more in love with every word. And that's not what's supposed to happen! It's the exact opposite in fact! She can't come up here, be all cute, and mess up his mind! Damn you, Bianca! Stop making it hard for Adrian to fall out of love! If that's even possible . . .

     "I should probably head off." Were the first words he had spoken to her since she arrived.

     Bianca was suddenly snapped out of her picture-perfect scene, where everything was just about working itself out. She had blinked so much to confirm her queries, that Adrian was standing up, and brushing dust from his jeans by the time she looked up. Her forehead immediately creased at the thought of being left alone ─ of Adrian leaving her. "What? Why?" she asked hastily, standing up, so he towered over her slightly, being a step above. "It's not even twelve o'clock yet?" she questioned. There had been no fireworks, and Bianca was hoping since everything was sorting itself out, that they could watch them together.

     Adrian didn't want to reply. His reason for leaving was because he had warned himself to stay away from her because he was too in love with her to bear the feeling that she didn't love him back. What, was he going to tell her that? "Sorry, can't stay. I'm distancing myself from you because I'm desperately in love with you, and you don't love me back. It helps me if I'm not around you, is that okay?"

      He hesitated before he spoke. Because he didn't want to say what the creative, on-your-feet-thinking side of his brain wanted to. "I came up here to be alone," he muttered, not as confidently as those words should be said. "And that's not working out right now."

     Bianca couldn't help but think that Adrian Pucey had never said such harsh words to her before, ever. And they used to hate each other ─ harsh words were their forte. Literally. All their conversations were made up of snide comments, and rude remarks. But none of them hurt quite nearly as much as that did. "Ouch," she replied, her face contorted with disgust. Bianca returned to sitting, staring out the window as if his exit wasn't bothering her at all. Like he wasn't there, to begin with. "Happy New Year then," she spat. Bianca has never acted so childishly before, but part of her felt it was necessary. She was yet to get a straight answer with Adrian as to why he was acting all weird around her, and it didn't seem like she was going to get one any time soon.

     He plodded down a few steps, passing behind her, trying to find the words to reply, "Yeah, great," he muttered, rather rudely, so it was barely audible.

     It was to Bianca though, "Seriously, what is your problem?" she cried, remaining seated. "Jesus."

     Adrian couldn't look at her, but turned around anyway, careful not to fall down the stairs in the process, "I don't have a problem," he argued.

     Bianca laughed, "No, because it sure as hell doesn't look like it," she said, boring into his twinkling blue eyes, where the moon made a silhouette. Bianca's face was taken over with sadness. She never knew something like this could affect her so much. "I'm trying over here," she whispered. "If you weren't so enigmatic all the time then maybe I could help!"

     Adrian scoffed. Previously, he had been trying to find anything to say to fill the silent void between them, but now he had his own opinions about what she was replying with. "Oh like you talk about your "feelings"," he whined.

     "What's that supposed to mean?"

     The look on her face sent a pang of serging guilt that not anything he could say right now could get rid of it. He stared at the crook where one step meets another. "Nothing. It means nothing," his voice returned to its mumbly state.

     "So are you going to tell me what's been going on with you lately?" Bianca tried again, to see if there was any chance he'd come clean and she'd be led out of this darkness that she didn't like one bit. "Or am I just going to never find out and wait for you to sort things out, but also stay on the receiving end of your mood swings?"

     It wasn't going to be anything Adrian said to rid him of his guilty feelings for being hard on her, but something Bianca was going to say instead. He no longer felt guilty. She was just trying to find something to blame his absentness on. And he didn't like it. "Mood swings?" he repeated incredulously. "Excuse me? I've been busy, and you blame it on mood swings?"

     Bianca stood up now, in order to defend herself. "I'm just saying that you've been acting differently that's all," she said flatly.

     Adrian wasn't enjoying Bianca not liking not knowing why he was acting strangely. And what he didn't like even more, was knowing that it was causing her some kind of emotional damage ─ as if she missed him. But he still wasn't prepared to tell her the real reason he had been avoiding her because he wasn't ready for that kind of emotional damage.

     After a moment of silence, Adrian cleared his throat and looked her in the eyes for the first time. They were pleading, upset, and Adrian wishes he hadn't stared long enough into them, because then maybe he wouldn't have noticed the tears, welling up at the center. "Yeah, I'd rather not have you find out."

     "Oh really?" she coughed out.

     "Yes really."

     "I guess it's not that big of a deal then."

     Adrian just wishes she wouldn't persist any further. It was getting too much, seeing the risk of a single tear fall from her ducts, or hurting her even more by just not speaking to her, and being a dick about it. I'm not going to tell her, so can she please, please stop asking before I do?

     "You don't get to say that."

     "Oh, I don't?" she looked as though she could laugh. Because, from her point of view, Adrian had unfriended her without any explanation to back it up. "Tell me then, Adrian. What's this problem of yours?" There it was again. "Please do tell me if I'm being too nosy, by the way, because-"

     It was all too much now. He watched a tear claw its way from her eyes, and fall onto her cheek. He could tell she was trying to hold it back, but he still watched as it made a trail along her skin, and eventually fall to her feet, leaving a tiny splatter mark, signifying her hurt. Adrian was watching her suffer because he didn't have the balls to tell her. He was distancing himself because he didn't have the guts to tell her. He thought that if he stepped away, with hopes that it would mean he could get over her because Adrian didn't have the strength to tell her the reason in the first place.

     Well no more.

     She didn't even get to finish her sentence.

     "I love you!"

     It was in three words that Bianca's reign of confusion ended. She was informed of the reason Adrian had been avoiding her, and not telling her why. She finally learned the reason why he didn't end up going to support her at her chess tournament ─ which he knew meant a lot to her ─ and the reason he had been acting stranger than he ever had in the past few months. In a short, blurted-out manner, with a strained face, and tears prickling in his own eyes. He loves her?

     But it was also in three words that Bianca's heart was crushed just a little. Another tear escaped against her will, but she couldn't stop it. When someone tells you they love you, your heart is supposed to do little flips, in excitement. Not crush into tiny pieces that choke up your whole body so words can no longer be formed.

     Because she couldn't tell him she loved him back.

     "W-what?" she choked. No more tears were going to come out of her eyes. It would be him that would feel the tickling feeling of a droplet soaring down his cheek now.

     "That's my problem!" he almost shouted, causing Bianca to want to take a step away. "My big, fat, inconvenient problem! And you say you're suffering?! Bianca, I've been on this one-sided love train for six years!"

     Bianca didn't know what was happening. A blurry whirl of flashbacks from the past six years flew by her, giving her this awful feeling of nausea, and whiplash all rolled into one. Six years? How had he been in love with her for six years? She had hated him for five and a half and now he was going to tell her that he had been in love with her throughout all of that.

     She surveyed his face. Analyzing it to the best of her teary-eyed, stressed ability. His eyes had stopped twinkling as if they were never going to ever again.

Bianca may have hated Adrian when they were eleven, but his eyes were the first things she noticed about him. Because they were beautiful. She even thinks that she had found a sense of home within them. And usually, she would never admit that to anyone. But she wanted to tell Adrian that. She wanted to tell him that right now.

The moon had moved on from his eyes and was now illuminating his skin. He was paler than earlier. More . . . . dead like. The level of the moon made her wonder what time it was ─ how much longer of 1992 did she have left? This wasn't how she wanted to spend it. This wasn't how she wanted to spend it at all.

     A second tear was sliding down his cheek now but stopped at his chin. She could tell that was all he was going to let out after she had said her next word.

     "Oh."

     Adrian clenched his fist behind his back, so much, he felt a drop of blood slither down his wrist. The dents in his skin made him want to cry even more. But he wouldn't let himself. Not after she just said that. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm gonna go."

     His brain didn't have a lot of time to function and process that he was going to tell Bianca Larsson that he loved her before it happened. But his heart did have a bit of time to hold out some hope that Bianca would maybe say it back. But even him saying "that's what I thought" there was some truth there. As if his brain had dealt with the practical, realistic side of this conversation's outcome, and his heart had formulated the lovesick, wishful thinking aspect. He was hoping for the best, but also preparing himself for the very worst.

     Adrian had gone as far as one step when Bianca reached out to him. Her brain was telling her Bianca, let him go. But her heart, just like his, was the less logical organ with instructions too. "No, wait. Don't leave," she uttered.

     Adrian was done playing Mr. Nice Guy. He just had his heartbroken and now the heart-breaker wanted him to sit with her and wallow in it? He clenched his other fist and turned around. "Oh, so you want me to stay?" His voice was the loudest it had been since she arrived ─ cold and bitter.

     Her eyes were sunken, dry of tears now. She was too hopeless to even show much emotion. "Why are you shouting?"

     A wire in his brain snapped and his arms flew up to his side. "Oh, I don't know!" he yelled. "Maybe because I just exposed myself to the girl I'm in love with and she replied with 'oh'!"

     Bianca was trying everything she could to soften the blow. She was trying to understand what it would feel like to be in his position, and it was her turn to feel a tsunami of overwhelming, uncontrollable shame and guilt. She had never felt so awful before in her entire life. And she had used her childhood best friend, Malcolm Preece, just for a kiss, in order to win a bet. With the boy standing right in front of her. The broken-hearted boy that was standing on a step two down below her.

     "Adrian . . ." Was all Bianca could offer, in a somewhat soft and supposed to be comforting tone, that deep down, she knew wouldn't offer any kind of comfort.

     Adrian could tell that she knew that anything she said, wouldn't be able to fix anything. "What?" he snapped.

     "This is uh . . . really bad timing."

     The moon was almost up ─ 1993 was moments away.

     Is that all she had to say? That it was bad timing? Bad timing? Trust him, Bianca, this was far from how he planned on telling you ─ that is if he ever wanted to. He didn't really, that's why he was distancing himself from you ─ for this exact reason: you don't love him back. Was that her excuse for why she wasn't going to say I love you back? Because she's a coward who can't own up and tell him straight up? It would be brutal, but at least for Adrian hearing it out loud would give him a chance to finally move on.

     "Oh because suddenly everything is really frustrating for you, isn't it?" he laughed. "I would have at least thought it was obvious that I was in love with you!"

     Bianca gulped, "No, not really."

     Adrian tutted ─ everyone, his friends, no doubt her friends, the rest of the year group, everyone knew Adrian Pucey was in love with Bianca Larsson. They're childhood sweethearts, wound up in a bickering-flirting tale of love. Apparently not to her they're not. "I made you a fucking mixtape, Bianca!" he cried. "I mean, that's as romantic as it gets!"

     It was his birthday in a day. And now her present to him was going to make this situation a hell of a lot more painful.

     And at that, Bianca wanted this to end. It was probable that the rest of the party had stopped just to hear them talk. Maybe, after what he had said (that it was obvious he was in love with her) they had all gridlocked because they all wanted to hear Bianca and Adrian make it official. And now Adrian would be walking back there unsuccessful and broken-hearted. "Maybe you should go," she said quietly, her eyes fixated on the tear stain that had splattered on the stone step at his feet.

     "Yeah, maybe I should," he said. Bianca couldn't tell whether his words were sad, angry, or just disappointed. She didn't want to decide on just one. "Happy New Year, Bianca."

     She stopped and listened to his footsteps recede until she was plunged into a depressing silence, her breath and the whistling of the wind, the only sounds to keep her sane.

     Bianca's body went numb with cold. And she didn't think that the weather had anything to do with it. She could hear the chants from downstairs ─ ten! nine! eight! seven! . . .

     She couldn't move. She didn't want to move. She just wanted this year to end. And in a few seconds, it would be. But that didn't make everything okay. One letter change to the date of year wasn't going to fix anything. What new years resolution was going to make everything okay? If you can think of one, Bianca would love to know.

     The fireworks came next ─ all bright, and colourful, and explosive. Like bursts of happiness, igniting the sky with the prettiest rainbow hues, that Bianca couldn't even find it in her to appreciate. It reminded her too much of her favourite night of the year ─ Guy Fawkes. Everything was okay back then. Why couldn't everything be okay now?

     Bianca got colder and colder, silently applauding the Weasley twins for out-doing themselves in the firework department, with only a tear to accompany her now, and only the voice in her head to wish herself a happy new year.

𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔!

nah cause wtf