Gregory Kingston

"I told you both not to return home." I tell the two children as they enter the living room. After allowing me to drink just that one glass while we sat outside, we are all now currently sitting in the living room, reading a book, while they sit on the sofa doing their work. Quite hypocritical.

"How are you feeling?" The child completely ignores my statement, taking off her home slippers and climbing onto the bed, sitting down and folding her legs, facing me. Carl remaining standing by the door.

"Paulina-"

"How are you feeling?" She asks again, and I simply stare at her. She had the same color eyes as mine, but I found her to be a lot more beautiful.

"I want to work."

"Hm. I completely understand the feeling." A smile comes onto my face, remembering how I scolded her for wanting to work when she was to be resting.

"What you reading?" She says, coming to sit next to me, taking hold of my arm and leaning her head on my shoulder. Just as she always used to do when she was younger.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie." I reply, showing her the cover but keeping my fingers on the page I was on.
"It was released just last month, but I never got the time to read it." She nods.

"What's it about?"

"It's a self-help and personal development book, that focuses on improving interpersonal skills, communication, and leadership."

"Ohhh." She nods.

"Paulina?" She looks up at me.
"Thank you." A smile blossoms onto her face, causing one of my very own.

"You never have to thank me Dad." My eyes widen, almost to dramatically.

"You rarely ever call me dad." I tease, pinching her cheeks.

"It's not for any particular reason. I just prefer father." She whines, pushing away my hand.

"So cute." She rolls her eyes.

——

Paulina Kingston

"Robert and I will look after your father, you two go get some rest." Mother tells me and I nod. Carl takes my hand leading us away from their room.

"He seems to be doing better than I thought." Carl states and I nod.

"Father is strong. I only worry for him in the moments when we are not there." Carl gives my hand a small squeeze of comfort, and I faintly smile up at him.

Entering our room, I suddenly feel myself become drained, both physically and mentally. Too much is happening all at once.

"Paulina." I turn around to look at Carl, my face I am sure showing my exhaustion.

"I somewhat want to remove myself from reality and return at a later date." He steps up to me, cupping my face.

"Paulina-"

"Our family will never get a break. Father will have to go back to work soon, I will have to face the people...life goes on correct." He sadly smiles down at me.

"If it is one thing I have learned about being a Kingston, is that no matter what happens, Kingston's never give up." His expression suddenly turns serious and I look up at him confused.

"What?" He takes hold of my hands.

"I don't care what anyone says Paulina. I will always stand with you." Hiding my blush, I pull my hands away from him, walking away a bit before stopping and facing him again. The beautiful man staring at me with those eyes filled of adoration.

Flashback

"Carl?" I softly call to him as I enter his room, but get no response.

"Carl?"

The moonlight was shining through the curtains giving the room a dim glow.

"Carl." I call a little louder and I see him start to turn.

"Paulina?" He confusedly calls to me, reaching to the lamp on his nightstand, putting it on.

"Paulina what's wrong?" He sits up revealing his entire chest to me, and I freeze.

"I...I..." Snap out of it Paulina!
"Can I sleep in here?" His eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"Oh never mind I was just-"

"Come Paulina." He says, moving more to the left so that I can join him.

"Are you okay?" He asks as I make myself comfortable.

"Yeah, I just wanted company. My thoughts just keep replaying of all that has happened to father." He nods hesitantly placing his arm around me, but when he sees I don't push him away he does it with more confidence.

We have never shared a bed together, unless necessary. Even when mother banned him from the guest room, he slept on the sofa in our room.

"Is this okay?" I hesitantly nod, and I feel him nod behind me.

Why am I even in here?
You're trying remember. Yeah trying.

I suddenly feel his arm leave from around me, his warmth leaving me as he scotches his body away from me a bit.

"You don't-"

"This is okay too." He states, smiling.
"Let's go to sleep."

End of Flashback

"Can I ask you something?" He nods.

"Anything."

"Can you distract me?"

"Paulina-"

"Please."

"No." He firmly says.

"Why?"

"What am I distracting you from?" I stare at him. He's right. Assad isn't here, but still. There are so many problems circling right now, I just wanted to forget about it for a moment.

"What do you want me to distract you from?" He repeats closing the distance between us, until I am looking up at him; yet still I had no response.

"If I am to ever touch you again Paulina, it won't be a distraction...I will be making love to you with every fiber of my being." He holds my chin, staring deeply into my eyes.

"Do you want that? Can I make love to you Paulina?"

"But..."

"Do you trust me?" Of course not. My subconscious urges me to say, but we're trying remember. We're letting go of the past and living our present lives.

Yet still.

I lift my hand, showing my index finder and thumb finger close together to gesture a little bit; A smile stretching onto his face and I lower my hand.

"Whenever you want me to stop tell me." He cups my face, leaning down to kiss me, but he pauses just before our lips touch, softly brushing them against each other.

"At any time you tell me to stop, okay?" He asks again and I nod, my heart beating a hundred miles per second.

The kiss was gentle at first. The caution and care displayed in his motions. Slowly the pace changed from its cautious pace to revealing the adoration always seen in his eyes, not transformed into that of a kiss.

We break away, taking a deep breath, but as quickly began to kiss again. Moaning softly, he takes that as his chance to explore my mouth with his tongue; the feeling vulgar yet soft. Needy girls in and as a silent cry of relief.

I push against his chest, needing some air and a moment. My breathing labored and heavy, it was simply too much. So much emotion released from him into our kiss, so much....love.

I stare up into his eyes, feeling my own begin to water.

"Paulina-" I shake my head, placing my hand gently against his mouth.

"Why do you love me so much Carl?" I ask still not understanding him. I hated him for years, I kissed and allowed another man to touch me, ruined the reputation surrounding our marriage yet he's still here.

This type of love feels far too overwhelming, far too mind blowing.

"I desire no one else Paulina. I can't understand it myself, I truly can't but I want no one else but you. It's as if your name is engraved in my soul, and my heart will beat for no one else from since the day I laid eyes on you. If you had chosen to be with Assad, I had decided I would have give that to you, but simply with the condition that I remain your husband in name and get to spend sometime with you for myself as well." I stare at him amazed. He would really do that?

"If you knew how much my heart—the love I have for you Paulina-gosh I can't even put it into words. I would look at you and I can't help but smile, dreaming and hoping of the day when you'll finally allow me to love you. Let me love you please." He begs, going onto his knees.

What type of love is this? He looked so...as if he was yearning for my approval. Longing for me to let him love me.

I knew my decision to not go after Assad was the glee of his life. I saw it on his face, he was not afraid to show it.

Truly, I had simply decided to let go of the tiring spectacle that my love for Assad makes. Simply given up the thought and idea of a rekindled fire so that neither would suffer the pain that comes with the reality; I knew deep down there was no way Assad and I would end up happily together, even if Carl spoke of allowing us to be together.

It was simply easier for him to move on, and I to accept the role of wife.

"Let me love you please." He repeats, and I get down myself, holding on to his face, silent tears falling from my eyes. Tears for the woman who simply wanted happiness, having to reshape what that looked like for the sake of...truce.
Tears for the woman who knew that her heart would never beat as strongly as his does for her.

"Okay." I softly mutter, and his face lights up with a smile.

——

My Muse for Carl Ignius-Kingston. You can envision someone else if you want, however this is my muse.