DEE

We pack up camp and get the hell out of there. Vadnar and I ride on one of the beasts, and the elder masters take the others.

We had to take a beast down because it had a broken leg. The sounds of its struggles made me shudder as the reality of the situation clawed at me.

Vadnar's thighs encase mine, and his arms are wrapped around me as they grip onto the reigns. He makes me feel safe, warm and secure. Protected from the leering eyes of the new masters that joined the group.

It will take a lot of work for the men to get accustomed to me, and for me to feel safe among them. They are victims, but they are strangers.

Vaine walks beside us to make me feel safe—bless his heart. Ranrok walks on our right.

We travel into the sunrise and stay on the beach until we spot a town up a hill. The guys suspect it's been abandoned; damaged by the latest great storm. There's nothing there but collapsed homes but it'll be a good hiding spot and give an aerial view of what's below.

Vadnar commands the men and barely checked in on me, which I found odd but ignored. He must have a lot on his mind.

We climb the hill and set our bags in a small wooden shed—one of the few that hasn't collapsed. The others search for food and materials while a smaller group hunts.

Vadnar sits on the floor, wiping his face with a wet washcloth.

"How do you feel? I ask, sitting beside him with my knees pulled up to my chest.

My feet are all scratched up from where my sandals provided no coverage. I did my best to wash up in the ocean, but my skin still crawls with discomfort and my makeshift dress is a cough away from falling apart. But my belly is food with the fish I ate this morning, and I'm safe. I have to be grated for that, especially while not knowing what Trey's situation is.

I block those thoughts before the guilt of leaving him behind kills me.

"I am well. The mission was a success and I was not injured."

He rests a hand on my thigh. "Did Vaine take care of you while I was gone?"

"Yes. And talked my ear off to try and keep me distracted."

Vadnar grunts. "He was supposed to stay quiet."

"Vaine? Sit in silence? You might as well ask for the colosseum to collapse on itself," I joke.

His grip on my thigh tightens. "Come here."

His gruff, dark command shoots heat down my belly. I feel my underwear get soaked.

And the way he looks at me... with those narrowed eyes and ruffled hair. That wine-colored skin that's so different from mine but so perfect. Those pursed lips that just recently unwrapped my folds in the ocean and made me orgasm so hard I fell deeper in love with him.

We could do this now. The shed's door is closed—unlocked, but no one would dare enter without knocking.

Vadnar decides for me. He snatches me tight against his side and kisses me with a passion I've never seen before. His free hand kneads my thigh, rising to my sex as his lips devour mine.

This is... unexpected, fierce. This... feels different.

I pull away, turning my face away. "Stop," I pant. "Something is wrong."

A sound rips from the back of his throat— anger and irritation. He stands up, and I follow him.

"What's going on?" I ask, dizzy from the lust and confusion swirling in me.

He turns his back to me. "You need to decide something for us."

"And what's that?"

"If you get taken, Dee. We will likely never see eachother again. Do you want to prepare for this?"

Where is this coming from? He was just trying to rip my clothes off, and now he's talking about being separated?

"And how..." I grit my teeth, the pain soaring in my chest, evaporating the lust in my veins. "How would we prepare for that?"

He can't fucking look me in the eye as he answers, "perhaps we should try to abandon these feelings. Put space between us and hope that time has mercy on us."

I barge out of the shed, slamming the doors behind me as I walk in blind rage toward the only fruit-bearing tree on the hill. I'm shaking with anger, with hurt. Because how could he say that after everything we've gone together? How could he ask me to give up on me?

And he tries to fuck me first before breaking my heart?

A shadow casts over me. So large, so dark. Him.

"Dee..." he sighs.

The masters that were in the vicinity walk away.

"No. I don't want to follow your plan and allow space between us. I don't want to give up. But if giving up is what you want, you can say it instead of hiding behind false pretenses."

"I want to do what's best for you. That's what I gave you the choice. And I'm not giving up, I—"

"Except that that's exactly what you're doing," I interject, still glaring at the tree. Still covered by his shadow and hoping he would reach out to me although I would pull away from his touch.

But he doesn't.

"I'm sorry, Dee. Forget I said anything. I love you."

It's too late. The damage has been done. He has shown me how little this love means to him. How easily he's willing to walk away. And that kills me.

That night, we sleep on opposite sides of the shed. He called me over to his side, but I told him I needed space. Funny how that works.

—

Three months pass, and Vadnar's following has grown to one hundred. We rescued another group of masters, this time from a hospital where they were running Frankenstein experiments on them. Many of those guys have permanent body disfigurement and psychological damage, but their need for revenge remains in their focus.

The crown has set a reward for Vadnar's head. Things have gotten pretty heated, and we now have recurring attacks in the fort we've been staying at. There are no trees nearby. No watch towers are unfinished and the walls are weak, but we've made it home.

I've gotten pretty good at weapon maintenance, so I spend plenty of my time sharpening weapons in the armory. Vaine follows me around, practically attached at my hip. Vadnar likes that I have someone watching over me at all times.

I walk past the kitchen with Vaine, and some Entertainers greet me from inside. I'm glad to not be the only woman in the fort anymore. Weeks ago, one of our spies disguised as a guard snuck a letter into the colosseum addressed to the entertainers, asking for them to join me.

They came, and now the fort is home to entertainers and masters alike. Whenever there's an attack, all masters except for Vadnar bed a shared entertainer to enter the enraged state. I worry that Vadnar is in his weaker state, but he always holds his ground. There's guilt in me, too, because part of me feels like it's my responsibility to help him enter his enragement. But I can't force myself to sleep with him.

Things between Vadnar and I have been... amicable. He checks in on me throughout the day, we have dinner together, I'm included in planning missions, and we sleep in the same room. But that's it. I avoid his fiery gaze, walking away whenever his hands stray too close.

I didn't agree to his proposal of "space," but he got his wish, although he seems to regret it. I'm so afraid of being hurt by his words again that I keep him at arm's length.

Then there's Ranrok. He knows Vadnar and I have been distant for months. I rarely speak to him, but we often lock eyes. It's like he's waiting for me to approach him. To make the first move.

I scratch at my wrist as I jog up the stairs. It has been itching unbearably the past two weeks. I know what it means. My DNA is being pinged from Earth, like a cellphone over wifi. I don't know how the fuck Cherry is doing this; pulling at my molecules and cells. But I know it has to do with the DNA I had to submit to NASA when I began working at the company.

She must be doing some unauthorized to try to teleport me back. NASA would never allow DNA to be manipulated like this, as it's way beyond our currently technology.

Truth is, in the process of trying to summon me back to Earth, Cherry may very well kill me. But of course I never told this to Vadnar. I would rather him believe that if I disappear it's because I'm safely back on Earth, not because my cells exploded across space and time.

I hate being a scientist right now. Hate how I'm able to calculate the odds of surviving this experiment. Chances aren't great.

"Dee, look."

Vaine points to a rope we've tied on the flagpole. The Masters put a white flag up symbolizing freedom.

"You want to jump rope right now, Vaine? But I have work to do," I say with a scratch to my wrist.

He nods eagerly, and I sigh, because I can't fucking day no to him. Is this how Vadnar feels with me? Used to?

I grab the end of the rope and flip it. Vaine jumps over it, tripping a few times. The enormous alien sucks at this, but he enjoys it. And I love hearing his laugh.

"Come!" He waves at someone.

I turn to look as I keep swinging the rope. Vadnar is approaching me. His scribe is right beside him, scribbling notes.

I snort. Vadnar would never play this game in front of all his men.

"Vadnar is a bit busy, Vaine. Maybe tomorrow he can play with us."

I expect Vadnar to walk past us and continue his work. He's pretty busy at this time of day. Instead, the tall male dismisses his scuba and stands beside me.

I resist the urge to scratch my wrist as I study him. Still ruggedly handsome. His broad chest covered in a brown fur hide, and his cargo pants dirtied at the knees like he took a fall.

His cheeks are stubbled. And I know he'll keep it this way for a few days, because we no longer kiss and he doesn't have to worry about scuffing my bare cheeks.

"Move aside, Vaine. Let me show you how it's done." His eyes narrow on me, and he dips his chin respectfully. "Dee."

I dip my chin, too. "Hey, Vaine."

My serious demeanor cracks as the giant male hops over the rope. His coordination is as tragic as Vaine's. I crack up as I watch our frowning, highly respected leader struggle to jump in beat with the rope.

Vaine yells words of encouragement, but there's no saving Vadnar.

I wipe a tear from my cheek as I stop swinging the rope.

"Did you see that? That's how you do it," he tells Vaine jokingly.

Vaine cringes. "Yes. You did so well. Good job, Vadnar." He looks at him pitifully, and Vadnar winks at me before stepping away from the rope.

It has been a long time since we've had a moment like this. Sweet and heartfelt. We're no longer squinting at the distance in search of a marching army. We're just a group of friends enjoying eachother.

Vadnar and I stare like a pair of lovers. Longingly, like we're still separated by a cell wall. There are no bars between us. Only open space. But we've never been more apart.

Usually I look away. But today... I just want to enjoy him.

Vaine struggles to untie the rope from the pole, and Vadnar falls to a knee beside him to help him untie it.

I open my lips—although I'm not sure what I'm going to tell Vadnar. I don't get a chance, either. Pain explodes across my existence. All of the hairs in my head are screaming. I freeze, the pain stunning. I'm rendered speechless.

The men have their backs to me. They have no idea that smoke has begun to come from my body, like I'm evaporating.

My vision is blurring. And the last thing I manage is a gagging sound before I slam onto cold, familiar tiles.

The AC of the NASA headquarters is in full blast, but it's not enough to soothe the fire in me.

"...back," I rasp. "Send me back. Send me back, goddamn it!" As I catch my breath, I become hysterical. Because this wasn't supposed to happen yet. Because I wasn't ready and I never was going to be.

I recognize Cherry though my blurry vision. "Oh my god. Oh my god," is all she can manage to say.

I'm laying on the floor, my head on her lap and my body weak. I reach my fingers out for the table. I need to study what she has done to undo it. I need to return to Zolan!

Vadnar... this can't be goodbye. Things are unresolved between us, and the war is ongoing. He needs me. The masters need me.

Vaine will be so sad without a playmate. And I won't be able to slap Hull's hand when he reaches for someone else's plate during dinner.

"Cherry, send me back," I say, choking on air and coughing until blood splatters all over me.

"Dee, where were you? What happened?!" She sobs.

"Send me back!" I yell through my blood stained lips.

"Why?!" My dearest friend cries.

I missed her, but I'm not from this world anymore.

"Because I was happy there!" I yell back.

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