Why Can't I Kill Him?

"Yeah?" A mask falls over me, and I do my best to imitate the model Soldier everyone thought I was. The model Soldier I'm as far as can be from.

"It's you. Oh, wow. I can't believe it's you. It's an absolute honor to be in your presence!" A smile spreads across a Soldier's face and his eyes light up.

"Thanks." I keep my voice monotone and expression level.

"Are you alright? You look different than normal." The other Soldier's eyes narrow.

"I'm fine."

"Why are you in this alleyway?"

"I thought I saw something." The lies slip off my tongue so easily. Like lying's become second nature to me. Like the lies I told that Guard who then went and killed Dove. It's my fault. My fault, my fault, my fault. The muscle in my jaw twitches but I don't let it happen again. A Soldier might be on to my lies. Maybe he'll report back to Bryant. Maybe I won't be the Dust Devil any more. Maybe, but I have to be the model Soldier.

"You look a little pale."

"I'm fine. Don't worry."

"What happened? You've never been pale before."

"You don't need to worry." I hold myself still, refusing to let my body take a step back or my eyes begin to search for an escape route. Stay calm. Remain in that bored, disinterested, relaxed position. Smug, you know you're better than them, the model Soldier who's the Dust Devil, the King of Ragdon's righthand man.

I stare down the Soldiers, falling into the guise I'd spent so much time perfecting, though perhaps it was never enough; 1 of the Soldiers seems to have seen right through it. All that time, for what? 1 Soldier has seen straight through it. Perhaps I'll never become that model Soldier I've tried so hard to become.

"Come on, we should be going. We can't be bothering the Dust Devil. I'm sure he has some very important things he's working on." The other Soldier motions for the Soldier who had questioned me to follow him. I raise an eyebrow in a silent challenge, ignoring the fact that I wasn't able to access the snake's powers due to Pisces holding my mind hostage and praying that the Soldier wouldn't be an idiot. Luck seemed to be on my side, and the Soldier watches me for a moment before bidding farewell and trailing after his counterpart. "My apologies for keeping you, Dust Devil."

"It's fine." I let a small bite weave its way through my words. You're the Dust Devil, the righthand man of the King of Ragdon. They're Soldiers. Don't be a jerk but let them know you're the Dust Devil. Don't forget the ranks in Bryant's army. You're at the top, 2nd only to Bryant.

I brace my hands on my knees when the Soldiers are out of sight. Nausea rolls over me, and I close my eyes, taking deep breaths until it passes.

"Dust Devil! There you are!" Curse you, world. I steel my expression, refusing to let Miles see any of the fear that was threatening to paralyze my body. Keep it together, Luke. Keep it together. Deep breaths. You're stronger than him, you're the Dust Devil. Yes, he's a doctor, but you're stronger. Don't listen to what he says; it's all lies. Lies he's spitting because it's not in your head, no matter what he says.

"I've been looking for you. Are you alright? You suddenly ran away." Miles keeps his distance.

"I'm fine."

"You sure? I want to make sure. Wolf said you almost died from hearing the Siren's Lullaby, and then you took a pretty hard fall shortly after. I just want to make sure nothing's going on that I'd be able to help with." Lies. He doesn't want to help. I open my mouth to reply, but before I can Wolf walks into the alleyway. Her gaze is distant and she seems to be holding herself together with fraying threads.

"Oh, hey, Wolf. I heard what happened with Dove. I-I'm so, so sorry. If there's anything I can do-."

"It's fine. It doesn't feel real, but I-I-I k-. I-it is. I was just wondering how S-. Oh, you're here. How are you doing?" Wolf looks up but doesn't meet my gaze. Guilt washes over her but is gone as quickly as it came.

"I'm fine."

"Is your ankle any better?"

"Ankle?"

"You were always limping slightly."

"It's fine." Wolf doesn't reply.

"Wolf! I've been trying to find you!" Is everyone coming here? I just want to be alone for, like, 10 minutes so I can sort out my thoughts and figure out what I'm going to do about Pisces and the snake and what I'm going to tell Bryant.

"Phoenix." Wolf's voice is flat, hollow.

"I'm going to destroy KG14. He's now killed Ky and Dove. He's not getting out alive this time. I am going to burn his reign to the ground and then tear his measly life from his disgusting body and watch in glee as the light fades from his eyes. How he grasps at empty strings to hang on to consciousness but fails miserably." Phoenix's claws dig into the ground and his lips curl into a sick grin.

"Ok," she murmurs. The Midnight Tears swim in her unblinking eyes.

"I'll help, Phoenix. I might not be the best fighter, but I'll help."

"Hm. You." The black cat looks past Miles and sees me. I'd been hanging back in the shadows, but it seems it wasn't enough to not get noticed. I stiffen, trying and failing to fall back into the persona of the model Soldier, the Dust Devil.

"Phoenix, calm down."

"Why? He works with, with KG14! That despicable, disgusting, horrid, rotten thing. He works with him and is the Dust Devil. He has to pay for working for him. He's the Dust Devil- kill him and KG14 suffers. Not much but something. Suffering as 1 can with no heart. Just an empty darkness in his chest. He has to pay. Kill the Dust Devil, and KG14 suffers even just the tiniest little sliver. Let me through." My eyes fall to the ground. I agree with Phoenix. Not to that extent, but I don't want to work for Bryant. I know that, but I keep finding ways to try to convince myself that I do, in fact, agree with what Bryant's doing, that I'll be able to become the model Soldier, the Dust Devil.

"You can't kill him, Phoenix."

"And why the hell not? Are you becoming soft? Are you sympathizing with KG14? I'll kill you too, Midnight Wolf or not. KG14 has to pay, and I'm not stopping. I've nothing left to lose, and I'm not stopping until KG14's mangled body is lying dead at my paws, killed by my fangs. Brutally slaughtered, just like what happened to my parents, my newborn sister, and now Ky."

"Scorn might be a Soldier, but I don't believe he wants to be the Dust Devil. If it comforts you, Pisces is on his neck. Can't do something if I don't want him to."

"Don't care. I'm still killing him. He works for KG14. That's something that no 1 should be doing. It's an unforgivable crime, 1 that should be punishable by death. Let me through, Wolf. If you're still in the way in like 2 seconds I'm killing you too. I don't care if you're the Midnight Wolf. I'm killing KG14 and anyone who works for him." I look down at my hands, fingers shaking as I look at the blood that runs down my palms and wrists. The rivulets carve scarlet lines down my forearms. Breath shudders in my throat.

"You can't kill him, Phoenix. Let's just ask him. It's... It's Libra that lets me know if someone is telling the truth. Let's ask him whether he truly wants to be a Soldier and the Dust Devil." Wolf's face begins to crumple, but she hides it. I can almost see the dagger in her heart, the cutout in her heart in the shape of Dove.

"Fine. He lies or says he does and he's dead," Phoenix spits, venom dripping through every syllable. Flames crackle across his fur.

"Ok. Scorn, do you truly want to be a Soldier and the Dust Devil?" Wolf forces herself to look me in the eye. Pain is written all across her gaze and her shoulders are hunched. Why the hell does she keep calling me Scorn? I don't reply at first. I can't. I know I can't lie and I don't want to, but I also don't want to say those 2 little letters. I know they're true, but saying them out loud makes it so much more real.

"He can't even reply. How sad. Is that not proof enough for you that he's not whoever you think he is?" Phoenix sneers, scoffing at Wolf. He snorts before, in a lightning fast move, dodging around her and sprinting toward me. Fire explodes in blazing clouds. I don't move. I mean, everything he said is true. I support -supported?- Bryant. I listened to him, I got caught up in his every word. It's my fault Dove and Ky are dead. So what if now I don't want to be a Soldier or the Dust Devil? I can't take back what I've done. I've killed... and it should've been me. It should've been me. I murdered them, and it should've been me. I didn't want to, the snake made me do it. Blood pools around me, but it's not my own.

"PHOENIX!"

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, please consider a vote! And I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please comment!

Uh, oh. What's going on there with Phoenix and Luke?

Does Luke really want to be a Soldier and the Dust Devil? I guess the real question is whether or not he will reply and if he does what his reply will be. Any guesses?

One of the Soldiers seemed to see through Luke's act. Is anything going to come from that, or was Luke able to convince him that nothing was out of the ordinary?

I hope you are all staying safe and healthy!

-Werewolf14-

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