When I had finished dinner, Serene had left to attend to her other array of errands before the day was done and dusted. I will be consulting Darian about letting her have time off.

I didn't want to pry on what she had gone through whilst she was away but she deemed the information not worthy of our time. Of course, I had told her it was nonsense - that I always had time for her. But she insisted that we move on.

I had felt tremendous guilt every second of every day since she disappeared and I thought that as soon as she was returned home, that the guilt would subside. I was wrong, it seems to have only worsened.

Every few moments, when she thought I wasn't looking, I saw the pain that resided in her features and it was so evident that I knew she had had a harder time than any of us could imagine. But, when I looked back to face her - that kind smile was rekindled and masking the despair that once remained.

The bath fizzes when I step in, the moonlight casting a placid atmosphere over the bathing room as the candles dance gently.

I can't help but let my mother enter my thoughts again, no matter how hard I try to push her out, I simply cannot. And I'm not sure if I want to.

It took me almost a lifetime to not let myself succumb to the images of my father's body sprawled on my parent's bed. The bed that I would run to when I was a child, when my dreams were haunted by monsters, not corpses of the people I love.

Taking a deep breath, I let the water swallow me - as if it will drown my thoughts.

Though, it only multiplies them. The water hugging me so tightly only reminds me of the bounding waves washing over my head, the pure seize of panic as the surface only seemed to run away from my fingertips.

All I can remember is mindlessly clawing at the water and feeling it slip through my fingers so effortlessly it felt as though I was running them through the air.

I break the surface of the tub, gasping for air and praying to the heavens that it all turns into a distant memory.

My hand clutches my chest as I try to calm my breathing but find that I physically cannot. In a moment of panic, it only worsens. My chest feels like someone is standing atop of it, pressing down so furiously I simply cannot breathe.

I begin looking around the vicinity, trying to find anything to focus on that will take over my mind. Mountains, endless mountains, snow-capped mountains to be precise, candles, lots of bright candles, stars, stars that look like candles in the sky. My mind repeats this until I finally get over whatever just happened.

I attempt to make the rest of my bath hasty - just wanting to get out, not being able to stand being surrounded by this much water. Even a tub full feels like too much.

As soon as I step out of the tub, I wrap the towel around me and quickly leave the room. I make my way to the balcony, finding that it's my new haven. I can finally breathe when the chill air hits my warm body.

I wrap my hands around the railing and drop my head, taking a few moments to myself before looking up at the starlit sky.

"I will make this right," I whisper, looking at how significantly brighter the sky is with stars tonight. "I won't let your death be in vain," I promise to not only my family but to everyone else who had died at the hands of the Fortuna coven.

My eyes brim with tears and at this moment... this moment I declare that I will never let anything break me as much as this has. I will not let myself love as deeply, care as much or even give someone a fraction of my heart. All it causes is pain that I will never be able to comprehend.

Pain that I won't be able to survive.

I know what I have to do. Whether it completely backfires in my face or it's exactly what I need to heal all disputes - I have to do it.

Once I have changed into suitable clothing, I open the bottom drawer of my dresser. The place I keep the paperknife but also where I keep the paper and quill, that Manin had gotten me, in case I ever needed it.

Grabbing the things needed to write a note, I sit down at the dressing table and write a note to the one person I cannot stand at the moment but coincidentally the only person who can help me. I had checked his chambers earlier and found him not to be there and I would have heard the ruckus he makes if he had come back.

If you want me to consider not hating you for the rest of my life, I'll consider cutting it down to only a few decades, then help me. - N

I'm sure I have been sitting here for a few decades when the note finally finds its way to Darian, at least I think to Darian.

No matter how hard I had tried, it simply would not do its little magical burst into flames. I tried so much that I now have an immensely painful headache that I am sure will never dissipate. How in the heavens does Darian make it seem so effortless.

Because he's the heir of hell, a product of the devil my subconscious reminds me and I wish it would just cut it out.

I'm busy. - D

Darian's reply makes me shoot daggers at the note. Don't be so furious, his voice speaks in the walls of my mind but I push him out.

I swear to the heavens, Darian, if you do not help me, I threaten. I know what I'll do if he won't help me. I'm only asking for his help because it would be a lot less tiresome if he would generously donate his time.

Do not threaten your disliking towards me. I like it when you hate me, I can imagine the sick face he is pulling. A smug smirk tugging at his lips and his eyes becoming something feline.

Fine, my way then. Don't expect me to be in my chambers, tucked safely in bed when you return. Just remember if I end up dead, you had the chance to prevent it, I write. I know exactly what is going to happen as soon as the letter turns into a small ball of flames.

Darkness peaks under the door and I have to suppress a laugh. Before I can take the chance to blink, Darian's hands are wrapped tightly around my wrists and I am thrown onto the bed.

"You are not going anywhere," Darian pins my hands above my head and I can't help the smirk that resides on my lips.

"That got your attention, didn't it," the sight of his features visibly relaxing only urges me to laugh even more. He really is too predictable. I may have found my new source of entertainment to get me through this hellhole - winding up Darian.

"Do not play with me like that," he breathes. I'm sure his mind is reeling with all the possibilities that could have gone down when he got here. "Your wish is my command," those words sound so familiar.

"I want to go back to my court... I need to speak to my people," I say hesitantly. The thought of how much some of my people despise me hurts me more than I care to admit.

I need to make this right, not just for my future but for the people of my court who have lost their lives and the people who just want to simply live. But most of all, I need to make it right for my conscience. They're my family, not by blood but by love - whether they hate me or not.

"No... I'm not letting you go back to that place. You're not ready, it's too soon," Darian begins spewing reasons against it and I can only roll my eyes at his choice of words.

"That place is my home and you have no right telling me when I am and am not ready. It's not your place to speak," his hands loosen their grip on my wrists but he is still above me.

"Whether you like it or not this is your home now. I just don't think that you're in the right state of mind to be making decisions," he shrugs and I push against his chest but he only falls onto the bed beside me.

"I hate to break it to you, Darian, but this isn't my home and you haven't even attempted to make me feel at home here. You've locked me in a room at the far end of the palace and I'm sentenced to a life of staring at the same walls every day," I speak into the silence.

"I'll make you a proposition," Darian counters and I sit up, wanting to listen to whatever nonsense is about to come out of that beautiful mouth of his.

"I'm listening," to say I am hesitant would be an understatement.

"I will give you a week to think about visiting your court and if you still want to then you will be escorted by yours truly," he says and I am about to thank him until he carries on. "You've somewhat earned my trust so I will allow you to leave your room as long as you have one of my guards or Serene accompanying you," I have never been so relieved in my life.

I can't help but swing my arms around him. "I think I will cut down my hatred for you to only a few decades now," I murmur into the crook of his neck and I feel Darian awkwardly hug me back.

"How generous of you, Nova," I relish in the way my voice sounds rolling off of his tongue but then I remember one last tiny favour I have. "What else is it?" he huffs and I pull away.

"I need to see Easton," I start and Darian's face twists, a glare settling on his face. "Only to tell him everything that has happened," I finish and a thick silence stretches between us.

"Fine."

"Thank you," I sing. I'm grateful for this conversation, despite what it is about, it's a distraction. A distraction that I needed - that and to sleep for the rest of my life.

"Anything else you want to beg me for," Darian smirks and squeezes my hip but I slap his hand away. This man really is a descendant of the devil. Every chance he gets he tries to insinuate something sexual.

"Hm... you'll have to leave me to think about that," I muse and his hands slips between my thighs. "It was a joke," I scoff.

"Of course it was," he winks before he gets up from the bed and I follow. Every time I am near Darian it messes with my head, I find myself thinking things that I shouldn't and doing things I would never think to do.

"You should leave," I push against his back and he laughs to himself.

"Dismissing me in my own palace, how insulting," Darian walks towards the door that connects both of our chambers. "I should hope that you will be joining me for breakfast tomorrow. After all, it's the least you could do after all of the privileges I have granted you," I can only roll my eyes.

"We'll see," I shrug and his laugh echoes around me as he erupts into a blanket of shadows. Once again, leaving me with my thoughts.