Back in 2016, I was curious about poems and joined a poetry group. I went to the group over the summer, and some, but we eventually just... Stopped.

Anyway, I had a book that I used to write poems in for the Poetry Group. It had a cute little kitten design on the cover, and its pages were smooth and clean. But after so many times of using it... Roughly erasing and writing lines, picking at the edges of the cover and the binder, the book kinda fell apart. Pages that were held together by a thin, almost unnoticeable string started un-attaching, but yet they still stayed- holding every page and poem I wrote together.

I remember one day, I noticed the binder falling apart, and I noticed the strings- and I think I mentioned it in one of my poems. But I can't remember which one, for the life of me. I remember picking at the binder as it was falling apart during the meetings, as I anxiously waited for my turn to speak my poem. I remember holding the notebook close to my chest, or tightly on my lap like it was my lifeline. 

I remember one time, I wrote a silly poem about cats. And I drew a little catgirl on the side of the page, she had the classic ">:3" face. One girl came up to me and asked if it was Kawaii-Chan, and although I was interested in the series at the time- it wasn't Kawaii-Chan. I remember her look of interest and excitement fading to one of disappointment and boredom when I told her it wasn't who she thought it was.

My Book of Poems held many different poems. Poems I wrote when I felt sad, Poems I wrote to try something new, Poems I wrote when I couldn't figure out what to write, Poems I wrote when I was excited to write. And my first entry was actually a little thing I wrote about my first day of Guitar Practice, I was so excited that I tried to write everything to that single page in as few words as I could.

...Everything under the sun, anything you could think of, it was most likely in that broken down notebook with a kitten on the cover.

I... I don't remember where my Book of Poems is now, but a while back, I started writing some of my poems in a draft book in my creations. I still have that draft book, with childish poems I wrote from 2016 and onwards.

Nowadays, I don't write as many poems as I used to. I wrote a lot back then, as a way to escape. I found that I wrote the best poems when I was sad and on the verge of tears, haha. My personal favorite was "Bottled Honey", a Poem I wrote to try and explain why I couldn't speak when I cried. Why I couldn't speak when I was getting emotional. Why I felt like I couldn't speak when I needed to.

I wrote a lot of Poems in that little broken down notebook with a kitten on the cover.

There are so many pages filled with tears and words I couldn't bring myself to say out loud to anyone.

And although the strings were loosened, they kept my secrets locked tight within the pages.

That little broken down notebook with a kitten on the cover...

My Book of Poems.