Stop me before I start making another AU where Sarah and Yang change places-

Sarah: Iris, Iris, holy sh*t.

Sarah: I am literally just a discount Yang Xiao Long.

Iris: Sarah, I swear to god-

Sarah: I LOSE MY ARM, I GET A PROSTHETIC, I GOT FABULOUS HAIR, I'VE GOT AN EYE ON ALL THE JOKES.

Sarah: I HAVE A SISTER-

*Slapped*

-

Samantha: I don't need friends.

Samantha: All they do is disappoint me.

-

Sarah: I don't think I understand Yuuki's Quirk.

Sarah: Like, just yesterday he threw a stray cat at Holly and meowed like a cat himself.

Sarah: Seriously, what the f*ck-

-[We interrupt this program for raining cats]

-

Tipsy, at 3 AM: I must buy a lace bralette and a new journal and freshly cut flowers and adopt a cat immediately.

-

Ren: Don't even think about it.

Lucien: Bold of you to assume that I think of things.

-

[Somewhere, in an AU]

Ren: Please, I just want to hear those three, little words.

Lucien, taking Ren's hand: I love you.

Ren: Try again.

Lucien:

Lucien: Fiiiiine...

Lucien: I will behave.

Ren: Thank you.

-

Genji: I need a favor, I'm going on a date.

Irie, interning as a Barber: I got you, bro.

[Later, on said date]

Iris: Wow, you look great.

Irie, under the table: Tell her that she looks great too.

-

Samantha: I'm sorry that I keep assuming and saying that you're all useless.

Everyone:

Samantha: But, in my defense, not one of you has proven me wrong.

-

Emine: My friends had a fight once and went like this;

Kouki: "Anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid."

Ryu: "Kouki".

Emine: To this day I still laugh out loud in inappropriate settings because I randomly think of it.

-

Tipsy: Taco cat backwards is still taco cat, you know.

Kuroko: I don't know what to do with this information.

Tipsy: Dog food lid is dildo of god backwards.

Kuroko: I still don't know what to do with this information.

-

Natalie: Relaxing makes me nervous. It feels like I'm missing something.

-

Erika: If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.

Erika: I will have no idea what the f*ck to do.

-

Ellas: I swing both ways.

Ellas: Violently.

Ellas: With a knife.

-

Holly: fun fact, most laugh tracks were made in the 1950s, so you most likely hear dead people laughing!

Kuri: A fun fact for some, but I always hear dead people laughing.

Some Dude: Wh...

Some Dude: What the f*ck does that even mean?

-

Tipsy: Get me Vodka on the rocks.

Naga: Uh, Tipsy, sir? It's breakfast.

Tipsy: -And some toast too, then. Please.

-

Lucien: Hey Ren, if I could rearrange the alphabet the first thing I'd do is put U and I together.

Ren: If you could rearrange the alphabet the first thing you'd do is spell S E X and then laugh about it for hours.

Lucien:

Lucien: You got me there.

-

River: I panic when people compliment me. What the heck are you supposed to say when people compliment you?

Kei: Great job out there, Riv!

River, panicking: UH, UH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

-

Tipsy: Can I ask a dumb question?

Samantha: Better than anyone I know.

-

042: I don't like scientists and doctors! ^^

Kuroko: I just don't like needles.

042: Friends?

Kuroko: Nah, I'm just gonna adopt you instead.

042: What? You can do that?-

-

Sarah: What's more painful than heartbreak?

Sarah: Earbuds.

Sarah: Specifically, earbuds with only one side working.

-

Erika: Achre's a nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh-eating demon she truly is.

-

Sacchan: Did you eat my powdered donuts?

Chi-Chan: No.

Sacchan: Then what's on your face?

Chi-Chan:

Chi-Chan: ...Cocaine...?

OvO