UwU

Naga: Yo fish dude?

Naga: Fish dude.

Naga: Hey, Crazy Fish Dude.

Naga: Hey Doc, you're smart, right? What's up with him?

Samantha: Oh, he's f*cking dead.

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Erika: I may have a daddy kink, but at least I don't have a foot fetish--

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Val: I swear by all the salt in Claire...

Val: And trust me, it's a lot--

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Kyon: When life knocks me down, I usually take a nap.

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Luna: I like cooking in front of my friends who know which knife is made for what and forcing them to watch me use the wrong one for the wrong thing.

Emma: Use a cheese grater for tomatoes.

Piro: I hope you both catch on fire.

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042: How do you... "Ask someone out"?

Kuroko: Simple. You open the door and say, "Get out, you're bothering me."

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Nicole:  As an older sister, I can confirm we are the backbone of society and deserve financial compensation.

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Pearl: What are you doing?

Emma, awake at 4 am, sitting in front of the fridge eating ice cream, straight from the tub, with a fork: My best.

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Erika: I knew it! The second I let joy into my heart, it all comes tumbling down!

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Ori: Bone Apple Tea, Man Sir.

042: What...?

Ori: Sorry, I had to delete french from my hard drive because it took up too much space. I have to get by like this now.

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Hirota: Okay kids, I have a very important question for you.

Hirota: If there are a "heavens no" and a "hell yes", why isn't there a "purgatory maybe"?

Lucien, immediately: PURGHAPS.

Hirota: GOOD.

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Shufen: I don't know if you noticed this, but Tipsy would throw himself in front of a car for you.

Samantha: Jones would throw himself in front of a car for fun.

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042: Is miss Empress always like this when she loses?

Tipsy: Oh, hell yes. You should've been here for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2016.

Shufen: YOU BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT!

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Claire: love is dead. it never existed. anyone that thinks otherwise is a fool.

Val: *Exists*

Claire: I... I am a fool.

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Piro: One day, I popped into existence...

Piro: That's it. That's all that happened.

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Aina: I think Ume likes me??

Tomoe: Congratulations, you're officially the last person to know.

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Mr.Bear: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?

Sacchan & Chi-Chan, at the exact same time: We blame the economy.

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Achre: Congratulations! You win a lifetime supply of tangerines!

Some Dude: But there's only one--

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Hinata: What's your greatest strength?

Sora: Getting out of corn mazes.

Hinata: Uh...Okay... And your greatest weakness?

Sora: I keep finding myself unexpectedly in corn mazes.

Hinata, realizing they're in a corn maze: What the hell?!

Sora: Guess this is my time to shine!

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[ReverseCard has entered a private Chat with PleaseStopCallingMeChatNoir]

ReverseCard: Hey, hey

ReverseCard: Yuuki

PleaseStopCallingMeChatNoir: What?

ReverseCard: What do bees make?

PleaseStopCallingMeChatNoir: Honey.

ReverseCard: Yes Dear?

PleaseStopCallingMeChatNoir: Holly, what the heck?

ReverseCard: Idk dude, you're my only friend and I just really wanted to use that line

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Lucien: Allow me, locks are my specialty.

Lucien: *Throws brick at window*

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April, being thrown on a table with a bunch of dice: I don't think this is how you play D&D.

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Tipsy: Okay, guys, consider this...

Tipsy: A knife that gives you all of Clark Kent's superpowers.

Shufen: So, how I feel when I pick up a normal knife?

Samantha, sarcastically: So you mean to tell me I'll get all the powers of a mild-mannered reporter of the Daily Metropilan Newspaper? Oh boy.

Kuroko: No, guys, Clark Kent is Superman... We're talking about Superman's p-

042: HE'S WHAT?!

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[That one AU where Tipsy's a literal dog]

Samantha, about Tipsy: Look at him! There's nothing in his head! It's just air, alcohol, and for some reason, unconditional love!!

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Katashi: Why are you standin' on a chair? You playin' a game?

Noa: Yeah, I'm playing "I saw a big@$$ spider and don't know where it went".

Yamamoto, scrambling onto a chair: I love that game!

Katashi:

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Ere: Einstein proved that you can't create or destroy matter, which could possibly be proof for reincarnation or ghosts.

Therapist: Can we please talk about your childhood?

Ere: No.

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Tipsy: Am I right, doc?

Samantha: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

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Lucien: "Shake well before feeding"?

Lucien:

Lucien: I mean, okay...?

Lucien: *Shakes a smol Sadako*

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Peter: What's a metaphor?

Damian: "My life is a trainwreck."

Peter: I know that, but like... What's a metaphor?

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Erika: I might suffer from "Anxiety" and "Depression", but I'm still a Queen.

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Piro: I couldn't change my personality if I tried.

Piro: And I've tried.

Piro: People have asked me to.

Also this, because I found it online and it's painfully true. 👌

No one:

Some manga artist naming his series: I, a Normal High School Student, Met a Cat-Eared Tsundere Girl in a Dungeon and She Pledged Her Life to Me?!?!?!?!?!