Because I have other things I should be doing, but I'm not doing them. UwU

Luna, after a very long night of remembering Moonlit Rituals: I'm good.

No one:

Luna: I haven't slept in a solid 83 hours. But I'm good.

-

042: Who's a good boy?

Dog: You are.

042:

-

April: Demon Possession is just hacking someone's IRL account.

Edith, and actual demon: What your soulcial security number?-

-

Chi-Chan: OH NO!!! This box of orange juice was supposed to cost 150 yen... But the cashier only billed me 120!

Akira: Well, I'm sure you'll do the right thing.

Chi-Chan: Kill all witnesses of my shameful crime and move to South America?

-

[Meanwhile, in the Dad!Piro AU]

Velvet: Woah, you okay?

Piro: Yeah.

Piro: My eldest daughter just referred to sand as heterosexual glitter.

Piro: And I'm not sure how I'm supposed to respond to that.

-

Edith: *Sneezes*

Tsumi: Oh, bless you, gal.

Edith, on fire: I can't believe you've done this.

-

Lillith: That girl's so pretty...

Vincent: Oh, you're pretty too, Lilly!

Lillith: Dad, I'm not jealous-- just gay.

-

Aki, after even the slightest thing goes wrong: I guess it's the curse of being a devastatingly sexy woman.

-

Samantha: You'll go far one day.

Naga: Wha... That's... That's actually really sweet of y-

Samantha: Hopefully you'll stay there.

Naga:

Naga, sighing: There it is.

-

Holly: Dad! Lucien's using a bad word again!

Kei: Who's "dad"?

Ren: From a chain of command standpoint, I guess I am.

-

Kei: My seduction style? Genuinely caring about your life and wanting you to be happy.

-

Amanda: Ah yes, but I have what you don't have...

Amanda, pointing to Lillith, who's currently buying art supplies: A groovy lesbian.

-

Erika: Four out of five villains agree... That the fifth one should just chill out.

-

Holly: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Yuuki: Explain.

Holly: Eat a lot, sleep, wake up beautiful.

Yuuki: You know you would have a lifespan of about a week right?

Holly: Another highlight.

-

Holly: I can't stop pronouncing yikes like Nikes.

Yuuki: *Sighs*

-

[Remember when Val has narcolepsy?-]

Val, when she was first introduced: I just love sleep so much... Like, you just close your eyes and you're gone b*tch... Brain logged the f*ck off... Powerful.

-

Val: Anytime is bedtime when you're depressed.

Shii:

Shii:

Shii: Val, what the f*ck? Val, I'm calling your therapist.

-

Olive Garden Employee: I'm sorry but you can't bring a wheelbarrow insi-

Luna: IF THE BREADSTICKS ARE TRULY UNLIMITED, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO.

-

Police Officer: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on your motorcycle.

Lucien: Wait, did you say three?

Police Officer: Yes, there's three of you here, no?

Lucien: OH CRAP!

Police Officer: What's wrong?

Lucien: HOLLY FELL OFF.

-

Kei: *Carrying River bridal-style and talking calmly to her.*

Lucien: *Sprints past them while carrying Ren over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes; they're both screaming*

-

Sign: "Assult"

Yamamoto: *Covers up the "ault" part, so now it's just @$$.*

Yamamoto: *Snickers*

-

042: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one!

Kuroko: Yeah, break their bones, they have 206 of those!

-

Lucien: I'm the kinda guy who likes to think things through.

Aina: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.

-

Tipsy, laying across the examination table like one of your French girls: I imagine the easter bunny as maybe twice the size of you, with the fighting spirit of an angry kangaroo, he leaves out eggs to make little kids like him so they'll help him out in the future.

Samantha, not even bothering to look up from her work: And what do you reckon he wants them to help out with?

Tipsy: Oh, I'm not sure. Assassinations? Murder? Destruction of the human race? Hard to say.

Samantha: Interesting.

-

Piro: And now for a message of hope!

Piro:

Piro:

Piro:

Piro:

Piro:

Piro: Everything is garbage.

*Addams Family Theme blazes in the background for no reason at all*

Also:

Me: I would fight you if I didn't hate conflict so much--

*Slapped*