OwO

Noa: I love you.

Euphemia: W-why?

Noa: Oh...

Noa: Well, you see, you were supposed to say 'I love you too' and then I'd say 'April Fools!'...

Sarah: But on second thought, you need a therapist?

-

Someone: GO F*CK YOURSELF.

Ryu: F*CK ME YOURSELF, YOU COWARD.

A younger Ume: LANGUAGE.

-

Tipsy: Hey, hey, Doc! Dooooooocccccc! C'mon, let's go outside! The sun is up! It's a good day out!

Samantha: So? It's not like I need to photosynthesize or anything.

-

Ume, after literally planting herself into the ground: This is where I am and this is where I'll stay. I will not be moved.

-

Smoke Screen: You look tired, kid.

Kei: Thanks, it's the stress and insomnia working together.

-

Justice: I'm Justine! But everyone calls me Justice! And you are?

Kyon: Hated by God.

-

S/O, on their knees: Marry me, Sam.

Samantha: Got off your knees, you look pathetic.

-

[Somewhere, in an AU]

Lucien, very drunk, and pointing to Ren: ThAt'S mY bOyFrIeNd, SuCkErS!

Katashi, quietly: Your husband, actually.

Lucien: My HuSbAnD! EvEn BeTtEr!

-

April, to literally anyone who will listen: When I die just cremate me and snort my ashes.

-

Kuroko: Hey, 042? Do you know the name of the guy a couple houses down?

042: His dog's names are Wallaby Wilson and Mariko.

Kuroko: That's not what I asked?

042: That's the information I have.

-

Erika: F*ck, I just want to die already.

Kei: Language!

Erika: Okay.

Erika: Well heckity heck! I want death!

-

Valentine: Has anyone seen my girlfriend? Her name is Claire.

Xavier: What does she look like?

Valentine, sobbing: Beautiful.

-

[Meanwhile, in an AU]

Kidnappers: We have your child.

Ren, with Sadako helping him cook or somethin': No you don't, she's right next to me.

Kidnappers: Then who asked us for a glass of chocolate milk and a sandwich with the crusts cut off?

Ren: Oh my god.

Ren: You have my husband.

-

Lucien: Whipped cream sounds kinky.

Ren: Please, Lucien, for the love of God, just go to bed. It's four in the morning, and I really don't want to deal with your sh*t right now.

-

Noa: Hey Minami, I'm cold. Set me on fire.

Kei: Fire isn't the only thing I can do you know?

-

Mr.Bear: Hey team! I bought kebabs for everyone!

042: SOMEONE KILLED THE FISH GUY!

Kuroko: HIS NAME IS TANAKA.

Chi-Chan & Sacchan, collectively: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mr.Bear: *Looks down at bag of kebabs*

Mr.Bear, looking up from said bag of kebabs: So... Who wants his?

-

Smol: Seki, lend me your shoulder so I can yell at your classmates.

Ren, crouching down: Okay...?

Smol, climbing onto of Ren's shoulders- now being the tallest in the room: ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SH*TS.

-

Smol: What the hell are you doing, Mira?

Sparker: I'm questioning why all I can hear in my mind right now is that one "JOJOOOOOOOOOOOOO" part from the first part's OP.

-

Lucien: So... If I fought you, would this technically become Persona?

Ren: Stop.

-

Kouki: My brother met Ryu once. And after that, he kept trying to call me Kou and fight me using his techniques.

Kouki: I don't let Ryu near Lucien anymore.

-

Tipsy: I'm not a murderer! Okay, TECHNICALLY I am. Not even technically. Literally. But I refuse to be defined by the times I murdered people!

-

042: I'm going to join the mafia!

Also 042: WHY DO WE HAVE ALL THESE DRUGS?

Kuroko: This is the mafia.

042: AND WHAT ABOUT THE GUARD?

Kuroko: Oh, he was shot. I shot him.

042: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??

-

Tipsy: When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic.

Tipsy: But when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.

-

Valentine: Ugh, I'm such an IDIOT!

Valentine:

Valentine:

Valentine:

Valentine:

Valentine:

Claire: If you're waiting for me to disagree, it's gonna be a long night.

-

Luna: "What happens if you put a werewolf on the moon" is a great question. Probably the best question ever.

Piro: He will explode and die because there's no oxygen on the moon.

Luna, gasping dramatically: We never said we'd send him up without a suit, you absolute monster.

-

Min: If I cut off my foot and swing it at you, am I hitting you are kicking you?

Percy: You'll most likely mentally scar me more than anything

-

April: If Kirby absorbed you, what power would it get?

Damian: Probably just height?

Ruth, signing: Kirby would become deaf.

Ellas: It wouldn't get a power. It would get a knife.

Kyon: Depression.

Luna: Guilt.

Val: Not sure what it'd get from me, but it'd get salt from Claire.

Emma: ...It would become Elsa?

Oliver:  A collar that's willing to kill you at any moment.

Salem: A bunch of old bruises and scars that won't heal.

April: The sh*t, you guys okay?

I make everyone I get the chance to write suffer. UwU