"I need to see her!" The nurse pushes me back from the doorway with a sigh.
"Sorry, but only family is allowed in." I'm prepared to body slam the nurse whose probably like an entire foot taller than me.
"He is family." Alex shoves the nurse in front of her as she exits the room. "Let him in." The nurse looks at Alex, stricken.
"Oh... Umm I'm so sorry for this inconvenience." The nurse finally walks away as I follow Alex back into Kelsey's room. I rode in the ambulance but they threw me out of Kelsey's room when I couldn't show them an ID that identified that I had the same last name as Kelsey. Which is ridiculous. I've been kicked out of her room 7 times now. I rush over to the side of Kelsey's bed and grab for her hand. Her skin has taken on a deathly pallor and I can see the tint of blue from her veins. I stroke the back of her hand with my thumb and take my seat in a hard plastic chair that is too short.
"I'm sorry Kelsey." Alex walks back into the room after a few minutes and places her hand on my shoulder.
"It's not your fault you know? A lot of stuff was happening in her life, but she wouldn't tell anyone. Maybe if she did we could've helped her." I pause, scared of Alex's reaction to what I'm about to say.
"I called her California." Alex sighs.
"Frank she is so used to that. That definitely didn't do anything other than make her butt-hurt. She was just waiting for you to come crawling back to her and apologize." Alex averts her eyes from Kelsey and let's her gaze settle on me. "She really liked you." And now I get it. Why Alex is being so nice to me, why she is trying to take the blame off of me. She's given up. On Kelsey.
"She really likes me." I put emphasis on the s. "Not past tense. She's still alive, and she's staying that way." I stand up from the chair, letting it topple over. Alex takes a step back in surprise.
"I didn't mean it like that-"
"Sure you didn't." I see hurt flash across Alex's eyes for a split second. And then it's gone.
"Whatever Frank! Go on, keep blaming yourself for this. Push everyone away like you pushed her away! Because I'm done Frank. I tried being nice, I tried helping you. But you wouldn't let me! Goodbye." Alex stalks out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I glare at the door for a second before picking up the chair. I slowly lower myself back onto it and continue holding Kelsey's hand.
"I'm sorry."