A/N:

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The sounds of timers and an oven running were heard in the kitchen of a small house in an even smaller town. Inside was a lovely waitress named Dawn, along with her cousins (Y/N) and Noah.

They were all making some pie, using a recipe Dawn got from a co-worker, Jenna.

"So, (Y/N), what have you been up to?" Dawn inquired, grabbing the sugar and butter. Noah was trying to lug out a bag of flour from the lower cabinet, but to no avail. The kid kept trying, though.

"Eh. Not much, I guess. I suppose visiting you has been the highlight of our week," (Y/N) began. Thanks for letting us spend the day, by the way. I needed to get Noah out of our apartment for once."

"Its no problem, (Y/N). I love having you two over. It gets awfully boring with no company for days on end."

"I thought you always hung out with the Jenna girl who gave us this recipe?" (Y/N) asked, confused.

"Well, I did, but then she got accepted into 'club knocked up' as the staff calls it." Dawn replied.

(Y/N) understood what Dawn meant - her friend was pregnant. Noah, however, didn't understand.

"Whats club knocked up? Can I join!" Noah chirped, causing (Y/N) and dawn to laugh.

"Of course you can, Noah." (Y/N) said with a slight giggle.

Dawn laughed too, until Noah fell over, the flour bag he was holding bursting out, scattering flour over everything and everyone.

"What a mess were making!" Dawn exclaimed.

____
Once the flour as cleaned up and the pie was in the oven, and Dawn, (Y/N), and Noah were all sitting on Dawn's couch, watching some TV show that (Y/N) didn't know, but Dawn seemed to love. Noah was also fascinated, although he didn't quite get it. When commercials came, Dawn started conversation with (Y/N), hoping to connect.

"So, (Y/N), do you have a.. uh.. special someone?" She said, a smirk on her face. (Y/N) rolled their eyes.

"Of course not, Dawn. You know I'm too afraid of committing to something like that." (Y/N) replied, their hands fiddling with the zipper of their bright red hoodie, which adorned a butter stain. (Y/N) would need to wash it later.

"And why is that, exactly?" Dawn asked, genuinely wondering.

"Well.." (Y/N) started, their voice a slight murmur.

"I stick to real things." (Y/N) began, with a sigh.

"Usually facts and figures
When information's in its place
I minimize the guessing game
Guess what?"

"What?" Noah piped in.

"I don't like guessing games
Or when I feel things
Before I know the feelings
How am I supposed to operate
If I'm just tossed around by fate?
Like on an unexpected date!" (Y/N) continued, standing up and looking out the window.

"The stranger who might talk too fast
Or ask me questions about myself
Before I've decided that
He can ask me questions about myself
He might sit too close
Or call the waiter by his first name
Or eat Oreos
But eat the cookie before the cream?
But what scares me the most
what scares me the most

Is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it?
What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it?
What happens then?
If when he knows me, he's only disappointed?
What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?
I couldn't live with that

So, I'm just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind
This way I get the best view
So, when he sees me, I want him too."

"(Y/N), aren't you being.. just a tad bit-" Dawn began, only to be cut off.

"I'm not defensive! I'm simply being cautious." (Y/N) replied, edge to their voice.

"Sure you are, (Y/N)." Dawn sighed out, standing up. "What about that Evan boy? Or the Connor kid? You all used to hang around eachother, didn't you?" Dawn finished off.

(Y/N) sighed, exasperated before replying.

"Well, Connor isn't into me, and I'm not into him. Besides, it would never work.

Evan is.. a whole other story."

"Do tell!" Dawn cheeped, interested.

"Well, uh, he writes these letters to himself. Hold on, I think his mom sent me one on text a few days ago." (Y/N) said, whipping their phone out from their hoodie's pocket.

"You have his mom's number?" Dawn asked, humor in her voice.

"Yup." (Y/N) replied, looking through texts until they found it.

"Here we go. Let me read it to you." (Y/N) said, holding the phone up to read the tiny text writing.

"Dear Evan Hansen,

Today wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worst.

I still really wish I didn't make such stupid advances on people who show me their obviously not interested.

I need to get over myself. I'm probably gonna be one of those guys who'll be alone until he dies. How could anybody like me, anyways? I'm a freak of nature. I cant talk to my friends, my family, not even the pizza guy!

I need to socially get myself out there.. Maybe talking to people more will make me less anxious when I have to talk. Unless it makes it worse, though. Then I would need to take more meds, and then id need refills more, and then Mom would have to work more for the money for them.

I'm a mess.

Sincerely,

Your closest and only friend,

Me.