"What...a....mess"

When I said I would be the Hotel's book keeper that was before I realize how much of a mess their books are! I've got all kinds of files in front of me that I've been going through since I've started. All of it ranged from the property value of the hotel changing constantly, and when I mean constantly I mean constantly. Almost on a weekly basis or even daily even though we're on the outskirts of pentagram city. Then there's other papers some of which make no sense to me. Like a tax on just having pipes in the building! wasn't even aware there were taxes in hell to begin with! Did I also add I've been at this for over a week!? doesn't help in that time extermination day came and damage caused by those damn angels shook my room causing papers to go flying everywhere! Took me hours just to organize it again.

"I need a break", I said rubbing my skull. Getting up I closed my book marking my spot before leaving my room. 

Since coming here it has been interesting. Charlie has tried to get me to participate in some of her activities to help with redeeming sinners. Thankfully I used the somewhat excuse of me still working on straightening out the books to get out of it. Alongside this though I also have to run into the court house to take care of some cases along with check other cases going on with some of my employees from time to time. Happy to say my deal with miss Mayberry has come to a close but has decided to stay around. With the comment that she wouldn't be able to find a job as good as this. I was happy to hear her response. Though today's her day off so I'm taking care of things by my lonesome.

"Charon! I was just looking for you!"

"Ah, afternoon miss Charlie. What can I help you with?"

"Alastor had something he would like to show us all"

"Well this should be interesting then if Alastor's involved", I said with excitement.

--------------------------------

https://youtu.be/M3WwX9r-LaU

"I'm sorry, what the fuck was that!?", Vaggie accurately said. To be honest I should have known something like this would happen if Alastor was involved.

"Uh yeah, one note Alastor. First off, thank you so much for making this. Seriously, amazing but....um....maybe the tone is...a..bit......off. We want people to come. This makes it look....umm.."

"Bad, the word you're looking for is bad", Vaggie chimed in. Train wreck is the word I would have used. Plus Charlie is too innocent for Hell I've quickly figured out. She's the textbook definition of naive.

"Funny. I was going for hilarious!"

"Sorry Alastor but the commercial didn't explain anything when it comes to what this hotel is actually for", I chimed in. Alastor just rolled his eyes at my comment.

"Charon is right, Alastor. The Commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them"

"Well, my dear, I haven't been active in hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show days. The Proper medium to express oneself!", Alastor said defending himself.

"Sorry to say but Alastor isn't the best person for this kind of job, no offense. He isn't a big fan of new technology and only interacts with it if he has to. Last person you would task creating a commercial"

"Not my fault I tried to have some fun with it", Alastor commented.

"oh, fun. You had a little fun with it? Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel! Instead you're mocking us!", Vaggie argued. Honestly I'm waiting for these two to duke it out. It would be very entertaining to watch even though I would know the outcome. Suddenly Angel dust raised his hand getting all our attention.

"Here we go", I whispered to myself. Ever since I got here Angel has been non-stop flirting with everyone along with making sexual innuendos. Multiple times I've thought about tearing each of his arms off one by one then making him eat them as a soup!!! calm down Charon, it's not worth it. Plus he would just come back anyways.

"If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here!", he said pointing at himself. Forgot to add the arrogance problem to the list of problems he has. Which is long.

"Angel, you're a porn star", Vaggie said with a slight glare.

"A Famous porn star", he corrected.

"I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these wall down to get in"

"We are not filming a porn as a commercial!", vaggie said shooting down his idea.

"Why not? sex sells, don't it?"

"I hate that he's right", I whispered.

"I swear if you film me goin' at it with mister fancy talk-creepy voice and the bag of bones there you'd be rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel", Angel said pushing the idea.

"Haha! never going to happen", we both said.

"Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract people to the hotel but.. I don't want to exploit you in that way!"

"Miss Charlie, you really need to learn to say no to people", I commented. She just gave me a nervous smile with a small laugh dodging my comment.

"This body was made to be exploited! I've got..."

"Say those next fucking words and you'll be missing an arm", i said my eyes glowing slightly.

"Jeez Bones, no need for the hate", Angel said with a smirk. I swear I'll make this sinner choke on bug spray!

Hearing a phone Ring I saw Charlie look at her phone before walking off excusing herself to answer it. That left us stuck with Angel and his stupid question of Alastor forcing people here. Goes against what the hotel is for imbeciles. You may not believe in this program but at least understand it. Which then led to him flirting with Husk again. Surprised, Husk hasn't cut his throat with a broken bottle yet. Just the thought brings a smile to my face.

"Ugh, Angel let husk do his job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to", Vaggie said.

"I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid. We're in hell toots, that's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?". Hearing Angel ask that old feelings started to come back. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. It's why I'm here.

"well, maybe it doesn't have to be. just because nobody has made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible", Vaggie said. Nice to know Charlie loves someone who shares her dreams. Though I wonder how she'll react to the irony. Time will tell.

"Hey, Whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive"

"Vaggie holy shit!!!"

Looking toward Charlie she was peeking around the corner full of excitement. Waving Vaggie over I was now stuck with Angel since Alastor left. Can't believe I haven't torn this sinner to bits by now. Again though, he would just come back. Thankfully Angel just started going through his phone, saving us from him. Looking toward where Charlie was I heard her begin to sing catching my interest along with everyone else's. Standing up I walked up to Vaggie after Charlie started doing a dance number in the lobby.

"What's going on here?", I asked amused.

"Apparently her dad called her to go to a meeting with heaven's representatives", Vaggie said worried. Hearing that my attitude turned serious.

"This won't end well", I said in a dark tone.

"Happy to know I'm not the only one. Think you could look after her? oh wait, charlie just please don't...where'd she go?"

"That bitch is already half way down the street", Angel said as the others watched her.

"Is she..."

"Oh she's singing all right", Angel said before taking a swig from a beer.

"Ugh no"

"I'll look after her, it is a part of our deal", I said with a chuckle before vanishing.

Traveling through the city it gave me time to see the damage left behind by the exterminators. Being busy with paperwork didn't give me a chance to see the damage left behind. The city was on fire as it usually is after an extermination day. Seems they were more destructive than before though. I counted a lot of dead sinners on the streets which was normal but I could feel they were more aggressive than usually. Thankfully I phoned in to the manor and safe houses to make sure my people were safe. Thankfully no one was injured or killed. Also by traveling this way I was able to reach Heaven's embassy faster than Charlie. She can Handle herself I'm sure. Reforming in front of the doors I took a seat on the top step looking at the city for awhile before taking a look at the embassy.

Looking at it I felt anger in my bones radiating. Angels, holy beings who reside in heaven. Beings that are meant to embody everything that is divine and holy. Same beings who come down to Hell to kill souls. All because they believe that hell one day will rebel against heaven, never heard a funnier joke. Would make anyone in hell angry. But their anger will never match mine. Thankfully Charlie will be here soon or I'd end up burning this building down.

"AH! Charon! what are you doing here!?". Guess I got caught in my thoughts. Standing up I turned toward Charlie straightening out my suit.

"Miss Vaggie wanted me to come just in case something bad may happen. It falls under our deal. Along with helping run the hotel I also protect it. Which includes its residents to a certain degree. So come, let's see what heaven has in store for us"

"It's actually nice to have someone here. Though I don't know how they'll react with you being here"

"Let them try and force me out", I said, my eyes glowing. Charlie gave me a smile before we walked in together.

Never walked into Heaven's embassy before but Corax has told me about it. Walking in it reminded me strangely of a train station. Everything was in a gold, blue and white color scheme with a glow. Makes me miss my manor. Always hated these colors. Prefer a nice coding of black or different shades. I'm not emo or anything of the sort, I actually find it insulting when someone calls one such for liking the color so much. The color brings me peace. It's why I surround myself with it and dress in it. What was strange though was there weren't any lights on. Which begs the question how they make the gold glow?

"hello? anyone here? Creepy~"

"This coming from someone who lives in hell", I said as we walked through the empty room. At the end of the room was a receptionist desk with no receptionist but there was a bell. Both looking at each other confused, Charlie ringed it, summoning a golden parchment.

"Creepy", she said, signing it. After signing it a door to our left opened up. I didn't like this one bit. Charlie walked toward the room with me in tow ready to draw my firearm if needed. Never leave the house without it. Walking in the room was dark, making me feel more on edge.

"hello? anyone here?"

"Sup". Suddenly the lights turned on startling Charlie and me. While she fell to the ground I drew my gun aiming it right at the two angels. Both of which showed a glare at my reaction.

"oh hi, um I'm charlie...oh uh. You can put the gun away, Charon". I listened, putting it away but still not trusting the angel.

"As I was saying my name is Charlie, my dad asked me if I could meet you"

"Yeah I know", Adam said. Looking at him it makes me disgusted that he would be considered an Angel. You deserve to be here more than anyone in my opinion.

"Ok well, it's nice to meet you. oh gosh sorry I forgot to introduce my plus one. This is Charon, he'll be joining us today", Charlie said. Me and Adam both shared a glare.

"Pleasure", I said with Venom. something that didn't go unnoticed by the two angels in front of us.

"Could you please try to be nice?", Charlie whispered embarrassedly. Letting out a long sigh I nodded agreeing to her request.

"Totally, nice to meet you too", Adam said, holding his hand out. When Charlie went to shake it though her hand ended up going through it.

"HA! I fucking got you! did you fucking see that?", Adam asked looking toward the angel next to him. I want to shoot him so bad right now. Actually I think I would prefer stabbing him multiple times watching the life drain from him. Yeah, that last one sounds better.

"So wait, your aren't here?", Charlie asked confused.

"no, you think I would come down there? Ha! No, I love the vibe totally and your tunes. Pretty fucking hard core don't get me wrong but it's such a bummer man. Everything down there is just so *mocking scream* you know? heh, ew", he said. Hearing him talk made me want to kill him more. Usually I'm good at holding back my urge to kill someone but he was pushing it with his blatant disrespect.

"Right, so I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk about", Charlie said.

"Hey hey hey, slow down. we got time. Why don't we take some time to get to know each other a little. How about some lunch? you hungry? I got you. Here's my personal favorite, you'll love it", Adam said holding up a plate of ribs. Before Charlie tried to grab it I stopped her before pushing my hand through it.

"If he's a hologram miss Charlie then so are the ribs", I explained. Adam gave me a glare, most likely angry I ruined his prank. Well Fuck him. For a meeting this whole thing is unprofessional. People ended up dead doing acts like this when they had one with me.

Soon this turned into him rambling about his weekend. Further making me wonder how the hell he ended up as an angel. All he did was brag about how he was able to "get laid" with multiple women in heaven. Even going into detail about how he picked up a woman at a concert he hoisted bragging about how he was the original dick. The whole thing made Charlie uncomfortable and annoyed while I was trying not to jump across the table tearing off his wings and feeding them to him.

"I'm the dick fucking master! so we fucked and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?", he said before eating another rib.

"Wait, your name is Adam? like the first man Adam? That means you...ohhhhhhh. That explains so much", Charlie said putting it together. Couldn't help but have a slight chuckle with her revelation.

"I know, I fucking rock"

"Well Adam, sir. Mister Adam, sir"

"Call me dickmaster"

"Adam. You seem like a well stand up guy and I know you're the leader of the angels and your a big thinker, a revolutionary, a genius", Charlie said. She is really buttering him up here.

"I mean your words babe"

"Who would really love to put his name on something". Nice job, playing on his ego. Good way to get someone on board with something if theirs is big enough.

"Fuck yeah! I love putting my name on shit! That shits the best!"

"It's a solution to our biggest problem!"

"oh herpes, oh yeah that's a bitch", Adam said, his attitude changing.

"No, our other biggest problem"

"ugly people? math? global warming? wait no, that's earth's problem", Adam said, beginning to name things. Charlie just looked at him not believing this while I messaged my skull feeling a headache coming on. Guess I should step in.

"none of that Adam. What Miss Charlie is talking about is Hell's overpopulation issue that has led to the exterminators coming down here to execute our people. A problem that Miss Charlie believes has the answer to", I said my eyes glowing in slight anger as I said it.

"oh, well that's not a problem we got that covered! No need for the eye glow mister bag of bones over there. Lute! How many demons did you kill this year?"

"275 this year sir". Hearing that number I felt my grip on my arm rest tighten almost breaking it off. My eyes began to glow brighter to a point it almost looked like a flame.

"275? whoa, badass! awesome job danger tits. Pound it", Adam said, sharing a fist bump with lute.

"Oh no, not awesome, those are my people. You know that right?"

"oh yeah, that must suck for you", Adam said, going into a laughing fit.

"But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in heaven", Charlie said confused with their reaction. I would chime in but I feel this may be an important teaching moment for Charlie.

"They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation", Lute responded.

"your wrong, sinners made mistakes sure but everyone makes mistakes"

"Angels don't make mistakes", Lute said.

"Heheheheheh....ha....ha....hahahahahahahahahah! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh in such a rude manner. Was just a good joke is all. but I have to ask you though based on that statement. What does that make Lucifer?" I asked, calming down from my laughing fit. Lute just sent me a glare while grinding her teeth. Adam sent a more controlled glare but it shut both of them up.

"The only reason you're still here is because daddy gave you and your hell born kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter?", Lute said walking around Charlie. Suddenly all eyes were on me as the room became darker almost losing all it's light except for the flames coming from my eyes

"Such rude words little Angel. I'd be careful with them or something may just happen before your return to heaven. Your boss may not be here but I know you are. Best you choose your next words very...carefully. We can all be civilized can't we?", I said before calming down returning the room to normal. Though she was hiding it I could tell Lute was shook by my display. Everyone has a fear of death, even angels.

"Pushing your luck sinner"

"That's yet to be seen Adam. Want to roll the dice and see?", I said looking at him with my hands folded in front of me. Adam glared back as each of us let out our killing intent to a point it would suffocate those not used to it. Thankfully Charlie jumped in to calm things down.

"Maybe I should just get to what I wanted to say", Charlie said with a nervous smile.

"Probably best since we are getting out of time". Hearing that Charlie tripped while getting closer to Adam. Standing up right I leaned back in my chair watching how this would play out.

"okay I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes", she said clearing her throat after summoning some papers.

"I know hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation it's taking a toll. If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my hazbin hotel", she said showing pictures that I know she drew but looked like a child did.

"Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself! right extermination, I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year and it must be annoying to shp all the way here. If they join you in heaven that trip disappears, you can wave that choir farewell. It'll be a happy day in..."

"Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time. If you're suggesting is letting them climb up the ladder. Oh they'd rather cross the pearly gates?", Adam sang cutting her off. Charlie tried to chime in but was stopped once again by Adam.

"Sorry, Sweetie, but there's no defyin' their fates. cause hell is forever whether you like it or not", Adam continued jumping onto the table getting in Charlie's face. Suddenly the room turned into clouds and the gates of heaven.

"Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in the pot". The room suddenly turned into a pot that Charlie was in. I didn't jump in because I knew this was all an illusion. Shabby illusion works in my opinion. Suddenly Charlie was poured out of it.

"The rules are black and white there's no use in tryin to fight it. They're burnin' for their lives until we kill'em again", Adam sang standing above Charlie climbing a cliff. Again Charlie tried to cut in but was stopped.

"Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath. Did i hear you imply that they don't deserve death? Are they winners? are they sinners? cause it's cut and dry. Fair is fair, an eye for an eye", Adam said as he suddenly flew above us. During this I summoned a cigar lighting it. Love the number but can't get over the hypocrisy of it, typical.

"When all said and done, There's the question of fun. And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment". Adam suddenly went into a solo guitar solo while I smashed my cigar. Those sick bastards.

"Hell is forever whether you like it or not. Had their chance to behave better, Now they boil in a pot. Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it". He summoned gold versions of exterminators before summoning a guitar. That also seemed to double as an ax.

"they're burning for their lives until we kill'em again. Fuckin hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot. So give up your dumb endeavor cause you don't have a shot. Long as I've got your attention, I guess I should probably mention that we've made the determination". Adam summoned a parchment, sending it to Charlie opening. Sadly where I sat I couldn't read it.

"To move up the next extermination. Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts. I know it's just been a week, but we'll be back in six months!", he finished pushing her out of the room. With a smile he looked at the door before turning around to see me.

"uh hey bone head, your free to go as well"

"Oh I will but I thought I should give a little warning while you're still here", I said, making the room become completely devoid of light. Made sure to allow some light though. Turning into mist I reformed back at where Adam was sitting originally now standing.

"You see I'm currently under a deal with Miss Charlie to protect her hotel and its residents. I can see that you at some point will become a threat. Instead of me killing you now to save us the trouble I believe I'm civil enough to give one warning and that is all. So here it is". My body began to grow a bit as my bones changed to a darker color. Two long horns grew from my head with smaller horns growing off it. The back of my neck formed longer sharp fins. Some skin returned to my hand but was decayed as I put one in my pocket playing with a gavel that formed in my hand.

"If you choose to wish harm at anyone who takes residence in the Hazbin Hotel I will kill you. I'll tear off your beating wings to fry them then make you eat every bite of them. As I watch you bleed I will feel a cup with it to make you drink to wash down your own wings. I should also warn you that if you believe yourself to be invincible and unkillable then I must applaud you for your ignorance. Everything can die, even....you", I said slowly beginning to vanish. Before I vanished I said two last words.

"Court adjourned"