"Will you stop jacking around with your eyelashes?!" Joe Kellogg said to one of the many idiots in his ninth grade history class, Kendalicson (Kendy) Write. Kendy sighed dramatically and fluttered her eyelashes at him as she put the eyelash curler back in her makeup bag. Joe Kellogg turned around to hide his annoyance. All these idiots, with so few intelligent people! His classes were filled with them. You'd think high schoolers would be mature. Spoiler: they weren't. Joe Kellogg's days were filled with hundreds of these dipshits, and he was getting tired of it.

The bell rang just then. Joe Kellogg breathed a sigh of relief, then turned to his good students and wished them a good weekend. He ignored the dipshits.

The students filed out and immediately started yelling and making out. God. Teenagers were especially weird these days. Thankfully, it was now his lunch break, and he had packed a sweet lunch today. Joe Kellogg smiled and happily strolled over to the teacher break room.

When he got in there, he saw Nickel Kelsh microwaving his macaroni box. Joe Kellogg walked up to her, barely containing his fury.

"Hello, Nickel," he said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, hello, Joe Kellogg! How are you on this marvelous day?" Nickel enthused. She was wearing a flowy, sunshine-yellow shirt today, with pineapple pants. She looked radiant. She also looked like a THIEF.

"Nickel, we have always been the best of friends," Joe Kellogg began. "However, you have made a grave mistake in stealing my macaroni."

Nickel's face twisted maliciously. "No, I believe you are mistaken, my dear Joe Kellogg. This is my macaroni, and you can eat it over my dead body."

Joe Kellogg smiled. He ripped off his suit to reveal a black ninja suit and dropped into a fighting stance. "Let's go, Nickel. I am remarkably over-prepared."

Nickel and Joe Kellogg began to circle each other menacingly. They hurled insults at each other for a while, including such gems as "My grandmother could make better macaroni from scratch!" and "At least my macaroni isn't SPONGEBOB!" This went on for a little while, until Nickel finally snapped, lunging at Joe Kellogg. Joe Kellogg instantly lashed out at her with a beautiful roundhouse kick that knocked her backwards into the microwave. The macaroni, which had been heating in there the whole time and was probably radioactive at this point, suddenly exploded and splattered onto Nickel's beautiful locks. The force of the explosion shorted out the microwave.

Joe Kellogg looked at Nickel with fury and contempt. "You will pay for this, Nickel. I will track you down and you will pay." He then turned and strode out of the room, leaving Nickel's prone body behind.