Song: Delilah by Florence + The Machine

Any words or sayings that are in here that are unclear given the fact they are from around the time period of 1930 will be put at the end of chapter in a glossary.
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The wind rushes across my face, causing me to reach for my hat to keep it on. The constant rythem of the train is like a soft lullaby to me. A lullaby that over time becomes annoying from that fact of hearing it so often. But yet you still listen to it because it is a lullaby, and all lullabies should be treated as a rare soft sound, not something you can't stand to hear.

The rusted box car door was left open allowing the rush of fresh air to flow through. I was leaning against the wall in a way so my broken ribs wouldn't stab into me anymore then they currently were. My arm was wrapped around my torso, almost like I was trying to hold the pain back. I started out in Tijuana losing and I left not even finishing the race. I left appsolutely nothing to show for. I was nonexistent, completely and utterly forgotten. Since many of the other jockeys were leaving, much like I was, to America they all wanted to win this race. Honstly I didn't care about winning this race much, but Arthur wanted it badly. He wanted to prove himself the best, but that failed showing he was not the best and no where close to it. As the bell rung out into the air we raced onto the track ignoring everything around us. All eyes were focused on the prize. If you were able to say you won your last race in Tijuana it was a given you would be praised in the US, for no one knew of your past record. Unfortunately I will not be able to say this when I get there.

I was unaware of what was happening when I realized another jockey had ran up beside me. I don't recall who it was but I do remember his swift whip coming up and waking me hard on the leg. I was shocked and as I was now focused on my leg he took it as his advantage to ram hard against my shoulder. I tried to grip onto something fast enough to gain balance, but it was too late. The never ending stomping of feet pounding beside and above me. The whole thing happened so fast it was impossible for the other jockeys to get out of my way. I covered my head and neck to the best of my ability, but it was no use. I felt every hoof that came down on me. One after another they came and there was no way I could excape it.

Afterwards in the stalls, after Arthur had yelled at me and pushed me to the floor, a jockey passed by me. "Hey old sport' you'll get em next time." He was familiar, but I couldn't place his name or how I knew him. Perhaps it was just seeing his face at the tracks so often. I could tell he generally meant to lift my spirit, but it only seemed to dim it more. How many more next times will there be? I nodded my head seemingly excepting his support.

Next thing I know I'm saying goodbye. Goodbye to any memories I have had here, good or bad. I should feel sad, I have lived here for such a long time. However I don't feel sad at all, if anything I think I feel relieved. It's like I'm holding something back and by this change I can fix it. I can find out what I'm holding back and just fix all my problems. Deep down I know how absurd what I'm telling myself really is, but I have no hope at the moment. Hope is what keeps us motivated, keeps us looking forward to waking up in the morning. At least that's what I assume keeps me going.

When the train came to a halt, I knew it was time for me to get off. In all honesty I find it quite funny. I left the United States on a train, in the passenger car searching for money, and now I am returning, more money than at that moment, but sitting in the box car. It was cheaper then the passenger car, and being alone didn't bother me that much eaither. Arthur drove, he didn't invite me to ride with him and I didn't ask. He really was a gruesome man. Many people say men have layers, in Arthurs case his only kept getting worse and worse. At moments I don't think I understand the full capability of his roguish stature. I feel like I have seen the worst of him, but then another even darker side of him is shown. I shouldn't be supprised at this it's not like Arthur being a lying, money-grubbing man came as a suprise to anyone. If you were to ask anyone in this business about Arthur they would tell you he owed them money, he cheated them out of money, or he stole money for them.

The air was cool but humid showing the signs of early spring. It was the mid afternoon when I had arrived. I looked around me and realized I no longer fit in here. California was nothing like Tijuana. Here you couldn't tell the distinct line between rich and poor. I saw no drunk laughing on the street ready to fight, no one looked like they showed any sign of happiness. They wore tiredness like a scarf that was wrapped around a little too tight on their neck. This is when I saw the real difference between California and Tijuana. At Tijuana people lived in a fairy tale, they could push aside responsibilities and gamble and drink their heart away. In California they lived in reality, where they worked all day to earn very little. It made me really wonder if people in Tijuana even knew of the problems outside of their little world.

I saved enough money that I could rent a room at a cheap hotel for sixty cents a night. When I reached my room I set my bags on the bed that seemed to be made of stone. The room smelt of cigarette smoke and unfortunately the awful smell of something molding, very well the hotel itself. Once I was finished checking out my room I changed into a old washed out blue dress and one of my nicer pair of shoes. The dress was old but I had no money to by brand new dresses. It made me feel like I was me again. It made me feel I was the girl my mother raised me to be. If only I could truly find her again.

I walked down the stairs and outside to the buzzing streets. Cars honking their horns and construction workers banging on their tools filled the air. I walked down the street admiring the people and stores around me. The side street was filled with any kind of stores you could think of. The windows gave you the opportunity to look at the objects each store held inside. I had no intention on opening the door to any of them, I had not a penny to spare. As I walked in front of a womens clothing store I stoped to look at the lovely dresses each of the manikins were wearing. Through the reflection of the window I caught myself looking back at me. I was glaring at myself, like I was disappointed in myself. There was once a time I knew who I was, a time when I was me. Without all this confusion, where I could live my life normally like any other girl. But that time has long passed by now. Looking at my reflection in the window I saw every simple imperfection as clear as day. My dress hung loosely on me, showing no figure or shape of any sort. My skin was pale, almost white. I looked sick, I looked deadly sick. My hair was cut too short for a girls, along with it looking dead like it was just haning around my face. The worst thing was in fact the look in my face, it gave no light of emotion. Bags piled under my eyes, my brown eyes that use to be my best feature but now looked like they were someone else's. I wanted to say this wasn't me, the girl looking back at me I have never seen before. But I have seen this girl before, I have seen her every day for almost four years now. I have seen this dreadful girl every time I looked into a mirror. This girl was attached to me like a ghost, and I wanted her gone. I wanted to see me again, the girl I once knew.

I looked away from the window to look down at my hands which were holding each other. They were shaking. I went to take a step away, to go back to the hotel when suddenly I was being beckoned. I turned to see a girl with a bright smile waving my direction. I took a step aside to let who ever she was waving at pass, but as I did so I saw no one behind me. I looked back at her to see her calling me to join her inside the shop.

I did as directed and followed the girl inside the store. As I stepped in I caught a good look at the girl. She seemed to radiat perfection. She wore a ribbed tanish knitted dress that reached just below her knees, black leather gloves, with a matching hat and belt. The pearls around her neck were almost shiner then her teeth. Beneath her hat I could see the ringlets of her perfect blonde hair. She was stunning, even her natural features would leave any man or women speechless. She hadn't even spoken a word to me, yet I felt comfortable around her. She gave off a very kind feeling. A feeling that would draw anyone to her.

"Whew! It's quite warmer in here don't you agree?" She said while pulling her gloves off not fully looking at me.

I hadn't notice, I was too busy basking in her presence. "Uh, yes. It's very windy outside today."

She turned to look at me with a smile. It was a smile that made you think that you were the most important person in the world.

"Well now let me introduce myself, I'm Rosey Darlington. But please call me Rose. And you must be..." She fell short waiting for me to introduce myself.

"I'm Jane, Jane Hall. It's really nice to meet you Rose." I smiled back at her, I began to fiddle with my fingers waiting for the reason she called me in here.

"Well now Jane, what are you doing all by yourself?" It was a strange question to be asked. I think she understood my confusion because she quickly explained herself. "Oh dear! I don't mean to be rude but I just saw you looking through the window, and you didn't look quite happy. Plus I'm always looking to have a good chat with someone new."

"Oh no its okay. I'm just taking a walk is all. I was really just admiring the clothing." She tilted her head and made a motion for me to follow her.

She held a knowing glimmer in her eyes, like she could see straight through my lies. "Does that mean you live close to here?" She picked up a hat and lightly set it on my head. She scanned myself while I was startled by her action. She shook her head and took it away from me setting it back down. She seemed to be barely listening and at the same time Rose seemed to give me full attention.

"Well in a sort, I'm staying in a hotel just down the road from here. And yourself?" It had dawned on me that this was one of the first real conversations I have had with another girl in the longest time.

"I've got myself a nice apartment just outside of town. Now it's not actually mine." Rose continued to pick up clothing and accessories scanning them and then setting them back down.

"No?" I tried to copy her actions, but it didn't work. I had no interest in the clothing in front of me.

"No, it's a good friend of mine. He really is quite the man. You see we've known each other since we were children. We take care of each other you see? And well you know to most people they think we're in love, but I tell them we're not. I've never had the slightest idea of that man with me. But if a man's kind to you oh lord forbid, they must be in love!" She waved her hand in the air and rolled her eyes at herself. She had a slight accent which I couldent place. Despite that her voice was smooth and joyful to hear. I giggle at her, she looks at me and smiles sheepishly.

"I tell them that I'm not in love with this man, and then they go and say that I'd better go find myself a man. A woman like me needs a man. And you wanna know what I tell them?" She comes closer to the shelf which I was leaning on.

"What?"

"I tell them that if I was looking for a man like theirs all I'd have to do is knock on their front door." She smiles and laughs at her self.

I cup my hand over my mouth muffling my laugh. "Now Jane, do you have yourself a man?" I shook my head waiting for her response. "Well you know what they would say." Once again she waves her hand in the air in frustration.

"Well anyway he's quite the horse man. A pretty good jockey, he's got deep pockets form it. But I don't pay much attention to that stuff, he got me that apartment anyway. I see him every so often. Say actually I'm going to go see him tonight with some of my other good friends, would you like to join us Jane?" She seems excited at the idea, but I couldn't see how. I just met the girl, she has no clue who I am. I alao.got a bit lost when she spoke about him being a jockey, and I tried to think of who he could possibly be. But I fell short of thinking of anyone.

"I'd really love to but-" She cuts me off by grabbing a scarf and wrapping it around my face.

"Come on now, you'll have a bang. I know a good guy, names Johnny, I'm sure he'll adore you." I pull the scarf from my face and hand it back to her. As the soft silk left my hands I felt bare.

"I don't want to crash in on the party Rose. I don't even know you."

"Oh nonsense! You won't crash anything we are all just going to a bar down town tonight. We're going to listen to some jazz music, many people are going to be there." And once again her bright smile was back. It made me wonder if she knew what that smile could do.

I felt myself try and deny her request but I couldn't resist. "Alright, but I'm not sure what to we-" She clapped her hands together and twirled her hair in excitement. There was something about Rose that held a air of mystery, but she seemed to tell me everything.

"Now don't worry about that, it's just a little event, meet me at Clintons Bar at eight. Oh! It's going to be a wonderful time." I nodded my head while holding a smile, but deep down I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into.

"Okay, I'll be there." She grabbed onto my arm pulling me towards the jewelry while carrying a small hop in her step.

"That's just fantastic! Do you like jazz? If you were to ask Eddie he'd tell you he hated it. But he's just another real hep cat." I picked up a simple golden bracelet pretending that I was at least a little interested. Rose once again seemed to be absorbed in her surroundings.

"Um..who's Eddie?" She stoped and looked up at me as if I had two heads. But that quickly changed as she realized her mistake.

"Oh, darling. He was the man I was telling you about. I must have forgotten to tell you his name. Sometimes I wonder. I'm always all over the place, I just cant keep mind-oh dear!" She jumped a little. This caused me to jump and look behind me. When I saw nothing out of the ordinary I turned back to look at her. She had set everything she was carrying back on the shelves and began to put her gloves back on quickly. "Oh dear! She's going to be tremendously mad with me."

"Rose? Who's is going to be mad at you?" I asked while following her to the front door.

"My senile grandmother. I swear she couldn't tell a cat from a dog, but if I'm a minute late she will loose her mind." She continued to rant about her grandmother. "Well, it's just too late. The old bat has already lost her mind." She huffed out in air. I laughed at her expression causing her to laugh with me.

"I'm sorry Jane. I promised her I would have tea with her, and it seems I'm going to be late. But do promise to join us this evening." She puckered her bright red lips waiting for me to speak.

"You have my promise." At that she nodded her head pleasingly and stepped out of the store, leaving me to process what had just happened.

Once Rose had left she took a feeling away from the store that I hadn't noticed. She made anything seem interesting, even the simple store. Once she was gone I began to notice that is was just a simple store, nothing grand like it was when she was in here. But perhaps Rose just made anything grand.

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Guys I am incredibly sorry for the late update! I tried to get it up as soon as I could but I just couldn't. The next update will be soon. I have huge plans for this book and I can't wait to really get into it.

And I want to thank everyone that helped me with editing, it saved me a lot!!

Glossary
Bang- Have a good/fun time
Deep Pockets- Has a lot of money
Hep Cat- Lover of Jazz music.