I was meant to upload this on April Fools Day but I didn't because I couldn't do that to you all lol.

GO READ 'The Language of Flowers' a Naruto x Ino I have written and completed. It starts with "Good afternoon Miss, how do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?"

Omakes are extra chapters or episodes in manga/anime, they are not always connected to the plot, but are mostly meant to be funny.

This is a chapter filled with Omakes that I wrote but either didn't want to put in, or thought it unnecessary in order to keep the suspense. It kind of piled up, so I shoved it all into one chapter. Most of them are just all random and not chronological.

Remember, these aren't always connected to the plot. It's all about the comedy!

WARNING! There is some mature language (swearing, talks of sex etc.) so be warned.

Enjoy!

~ Wolfie

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1.

It was quiet in Uzushiogakure, so when Naruto was reorganising his file cabinets and found the Death Note again, he paused and stared at it for a couple of seconds.

It was a strange situation; he and Sasuke had tortured Sakura before they started liking her, so it was many years ago. Actually, if Naruto thought back, the last time he used it was in Chapter 4-

Ouch.

Naruto instantly shivered as he sensed that someone broke the fourth wall, but then flipped the Death Note open and admired his handiwork with all of the names and methods of death.

"Long time no see, got an apple?" A dark figure appeared beside him and Naruto almost yelped in surprise.

He grinned, "Ryuk! How are you doing!" He stood up and tossed him a rosy red apple from his fruit basket, which Ryuk gratefully accepted.

"Insolent swine." Kurama's voice boomed harshly. "There's only room for ONE demon in this village." Kurama's voice boomed and Ryuk shivered, his large black wings bristling.

Rolling his eyes, Naruto sighed, "You do know like all of the other Jinchuuriki with their Biju's, except Gaara, are in this village, right?"

"Silence, imbecile." The feared Nine-Tailed Fox snapped, then stopped to repeat himself, like a child, "There's only room for ONE demon in this building."

"I wouldn't want to impose..." Ryuk started, waving a hand in dismissal as he slowly tried to exit the room, but realised that he couldn't out of all the awkwardness.

Naruto huffed, of course the only time that Kurama would actually start a conversation is if he felt threatened. "You do know that Yagura is downstairs, right?"

"... There's only room for ONE demon in this room!"

2.

"Naruto~"

Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze, was now 16. So of course, he had hit puberty.

He found joy in staring at women.

He found joy in... taking care of himself.

He found joy in ripping Jiraiya's books apart, because even though he was an adolescent boy, he would never read that disgusting abomination called 'Icha Icha Paradise'.

"Naruto~!"

His broke out of his trance and looked to the side, a busty dark-haired girl with pale, lavender eyes was running towards him in slow motion.

"Eh? Who are you?" Naruto questioned in confusion.

"I'm offended, Naru-kun..." The girl sniffed and wiped a tear away, "I'm Hinata, I've always been watching you."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "That's creepy."

Hinata blinked innocently, "No it isn't! I only watch you every second of every day and peered through the window and watched you and Gaara-"

"Stop it!" Naruto walked backwards as Hinata got closer and closer. He had vaguely remembered a girl who always stuttered and was quiet, but he didn't really pay much attention to her. Where was her stutter now? "We will never have a relationship!"

Hinata gaped, "But we're canon!"

"Fuck sake." Naruto smacked his forehead and groaned, "Well, not in The Jinchuuriki Alliance we aren't!"

With another wail, Hinata grabbed Naruto's hand and placed it on her chest. Her face filled with a bright blush as she guided Naruto's hand-

A sharp jolt made Naruto sit up.

He blinked.

He was in his bedroom, seated comfortably on a large four-post double bed with blue sheets. He was alone.

Yes. He was alone.

Feeling something hot on his chin, Naruto used his hand to wipe away the unknown substance. He glanced down and found that he was having a nosebleed.

"Huh." Naruto muttered. "What a strange dream."

3.

Naruto was deciding who from Konoha would be given the choice to come to Uzushiogakure with him, Sakura, Sasuke and Ino.

Sakura and Naruto were sitting next to each other, sipping some English Breakfast tea. Why? Because they're bougie bad asses and it's an omake and who cares if it doesn't make sense.

Humming, Sakura tapped her pen on the notepad in front of her. "Tenten?"

Naruto shook his head, "I don't know her that well."

"Neji?"

"That fate-obsessed bastard, people say he's different now but I don't think he'd want to be away from his family anyway."

Sakura sighed and leaned back in her chair, "Whaaat, abouuut... Ah! Konohamaru!"

Naruto stared at her with a incredulous expression, "You're joking right? I can't have someone with 'Konoha' in their name, to come with me to another village, that's super weird." He shook his head, "Plus I doubt Grandpa would allow that."

"Shikamaru!"

Naruto paused and slightly nodded, "Having Shikamaru would be nice, actually..."

"Kiba?"

Naruto snapped his fingers, "Kiba! Yes! We can bring Kiba! Kiba's great, he's my friend, although he hasn't been talked about much in this story-"

"What?" Sakura frowned.

Naruto blinked, "What?"

They paused for a couple of seconds and then shook it off, weird occurrences happen all the time, it's almost like they're being controlled. Huh, how weird, who would do that?

"Okay," Sakura wrote the Inuzuka's name down, "Kiba's an option, you can ask him tomorrow. How about Rock Lee?"

Naruto turned his head and shook it fervently, "Kyuu says no. No way."

"Why?"

"So. Much Green."

"But you used to wear orange."

Naruto pointed at her in anger, "USED TO! He STILL DOES!"

The young Uzumaki was fuming, it appeared as if steam was appearing and coming out of his ears.

Sakura rolled her eyes and kissed her teeth, "Alright Bossman, whatever you say..."

4.

Anyone ever think about why Naruto is called 'Danchou' now? He was almost called Heichou, but Sasuke, who came up with the nickname, preferred Danchou.

Here's why.

There were loud and fast footsteps approaching Naruto's office, Sasuke turned the corner and panted heavily, holding the side of the door.

"Naruto, they're everywhere!" He gripped the hinges, his strength almost ripping it off with his raging chakra, "I don't even know what they are!"

Naruto stood up with a serious poker face and pulled on his jacket. "Itachi?" He snapped his fingers.

The said man appeared in a shunshin flash as he was constantly present, common for the General of Ghost, Uzushiogakure's ANBU. His hand was on his chest and his head was lowered. "Hai, Naruto-sama."

"What does Sakura have to say about these beasts outside the village?" Naruto questioned.

Itachi raised his head. "They seem to be hundreds of Zetsu's, massive and humanoid. Team Alpha has gone to scout the area. Deidara reported that the only way to kill them is to destroy the area on the back of the neck. Otherwise, they can simply regenerate."

"Good work." He waved his hand and Itachi disappeared. "Sasuke, come with me."

Sasuke had caught his breath by now and nodded, following Naruto. Everyone was out there fighting, they couldn't leave Team Alpha alone by themselves.

Naruto was standing on top of the building and watched the giant Zetsu's wreck the town and create pure chaos. Naruto had worked too hard in Uzushio for it to be ruined, he would stop them, at all costs.

He unsheathed his large twin katana's and readied himself into a stance - his knees bent and his body low to the ground. Without a missed beat, he leapt to another building and spun around in the air, his katana slicing the back of the white Zetsu's neck.

Alpha and Sasuke watched as Naruto single-handedly destroyed the Zetsu forces with simple slashes from his katana's.

Their eyes were wide while the blood from various Zetsu's splattered on the ground, there was just under fifty left now - Naruto created some shadow clones and all of them came with their own twin swords.

He was calm and collected, standing in the foggy mist of attempted regeneration but ultimate deaths of the Zetsu army. Naruto stood on a building with his back faced to his military.

He flicked his katana, the blood evaporating from the blade. Once he finally turned around, all of Alpha and Ghost was kneeling to him. He blinked in confusion but heard one thing yelled out by his subordinates.

"Danchou!"

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

5.

Kiba was sitting next to Naruto while he was looking through various sheets of paperwork. Sighing, Naruto heard his stomach growl and rubbed the back of his head.

"Hungry?" Kiba smirked, his sharp canines glinting as the sun hit them.

Naruto grumbled and slammed his head on the table. "Mmm hmm." He agreed.

Kiba absentmindedly pet Akamaru, who was next to him - he felt lightheaded. When he hadn't eaten enough during the day, he always felt lightheaded. "Same."

"Hey, Kiba?" Naruto tilted his head to the side and smirked at Kiba, feeling a small spark of mischief. "Wanna go get something to eat?"

Kiba smiled and nodded, "Yeah, let's go."

Naruto lifted his head and leaned his chin on the palm of his right hand, lazily grinning. "Say woof."

"Ehh," Kiba frowned and glared at his boss. "Fuck you."