It takes another day for Narcissa to be able to face Ursa. She knocks on Ursa's door. "Please open the door." She begs. Ursa gets up and unlocks the door. Ursa opens the door slowly. One look us all it takes for tears to come to Narcissa's eyes. "I'm sorry." Narcissa steps forward and hugs Ursa. Ursa doesn't return the hug. "I'm so sorry." Narcissa releases Ursa and cups her cheeks. "You could never disappoint me or let me down." Ursa scoffs and pulls her face from Narcissa's hands before taking a few steps back.

     "I wish I could believe you." Ursa says as Narcissa steps into the room and closes the door.

     "Ursa, you can do things that are disappointing but I will never, ever be fully be disappointed by you or stay disappointed."

     "I'm sorry. I really do wish I could believe you but the way you reacted with my friends..."

     "I was caught off guard. I never expected you to befriend them."

     "It's not my fault the 'right' people didn't want to be my friend or even fake it. And that doesn't explain Christmas."

     "I was angry you left. I was hurt that you did not want to spend Christmas with us and I overreacted."

     "I wanted to spend Christmas at a place where no one hated me. A place where I actually felt somewhat welcome. It's not my fault people in the manor hate me."

     "Who hates you?"

     "You know exactly who! Auntie and until yesterday I thought Father did too. I do not do what she wants me to do so she hates me."

     "She does not hate you."

     "She hates me and honestly I know the only reason she hasn't killed me yet is that you would never forgive her."

     "Cub she does not want to kill you."

     "No she does. I know she does. Wanna know how I know? Because she's told me. 'You are lucky Narcissa would never forgive me if I killed you.' 'You are lucky your mother loves you.' 'If only Cissy did not love you.'"

     "She... she really said that?"

     "Yeah." Narcissa sighs and holds the parchment up.

     "Do you really believe all of this?"

     "Honestly? A little. I mean some of the things including Father have changed." Narcissa's heart visibly breaks and Ursa snatches the parchment from her hand. Ursa slowly walks towards the couch as she speaks. "I mean you said you were disgusted by me. Bella's told me I would be dead if not for you. Father and you have both said I am a disappointment and embarrassment." Ursa sits on the couch. "I'm not wrong about what happens to black sheep. I don't understand why my friends like me. So yeah I believe it." Narcissa sits down next to Ursa as tears fall down Ursa's face. "I just want it to stop."

     "The last thing on this list..." Tears come to Narcissa's eyes. "You, you don't really think that do you? That we would be better off without you?" Ursa doesn't respond. She pulls her knees to her chest and rests her chin between them. "You do."

     "I just want to be happy, but people make it impossible. The life I was given makes it impossible."

     "Ursa-"

     "You said it yourself that you do not care if my friends make me happy. I don't want to lose Dray but I don't want to lose my friends. I don't know what to do. The two of the people I trust enough to go to for help or advice are biased and one- hates me. I just want to be happy." Tears stream down Narcissa's face as she stays silent. "So yeah, I think you all would be better off without me and I think I would be better off somewhere else or dead. But I can't leave him. I can't leave Draco, so I'm stuck here. Stuck here hating my life. Stuck only staying alive for Draco."

     "I do not know what to do either." Narcissa says as she wraps an arm around Ursa. Ursa curls up into Narcissa's side and cries. "I never thought I would be in this situation." Neither of them speak while Narcissa thinks. "I... I will learn to tolerate your friendships. As long as you do not speak about them or bring them here." Ursa chuckles.

     "I'm not stupid. I wouldn't dream of bringing them here. Especially Hermione."

     "I will not tell your father or aunt about them either."

     "Thank you! Thank you."

      "But if they find out... I cannot stop them from disowning you or your father from kicking you out."

     "I know. Father kind of knows."

     "What do you mean?"

     "He thinks I am faking our friendship, for the Dark Lord."

     "Why did you not tell me that?"

     "I did not think of it until a few days ago."

     "I will protect you if Bellatrix tries to hurt you."

     "Okay."

     "I will always protect you. No matter what. Even if they find out and disown you. I will protect you. I love you." Tears come to Ursa's eyes.

      "I love you too." Narcissa wipes Ursa's tears and tucks her hair behind her ear.

     "My little cub." Narcissa kisses the top of Ursa's head. "I really am sorry for hitting you and getting physical. I am just... I guess I did not know how to handle any of this, so I did what my parents would have done. I never meant to hurt you."

     "So you really did regret it?"

     "Instantly. Especially after giving you to Bellatrix. I was going to apologize in the morning but you were gone."

     "Why morning?"

     "To give you time to cool down."

     "Why did you keep doing it?"

     "I honestly have no idea. It is like a switch was flipped and suddenly violence was an option. I promise I will try hard not to do it again. Now I know I said you would not get your presents-"

     "I don't care about presents Mother." Ursa interrupts.

     "Well a few are for the New Years ball. Also I smell alcohol."

     "I'm not drunk if that is what you are asking. I was like two days ago and got some on me and just haven't changed clothes."

***

     "So how was your break Ginny?" Ursa asks on the train. They're the only two in the cabin as Harry's with the twins and Hermione, Ron, Draco, and Pansy are in the prefect's car.

     "Can I be honest with you?" Ginny asks. "You won't tell anyone."

     "Of course."

     "I'm starting to think my mum kinda resents me or something. She always wanted a girl and she often comments I'm not 'lady-like' enough. She even compares me to you sometimes."

     "Me? Out of all the people she could've chosen she picks the one who is either less or equal as 'lady-like?' Wow."

     "I think she means more like the way you seem outside of school. The skirts, the dresses, the mannerisms, stuff like that." Ursa snorts.

     "I'll let you in on something that may not be a huge secret, I hate that stuff. I only wear them because I wouldn't be let out of the house otherwise. If I had my way I would be wearing pants and t-shirts."

     "Sadly my mum doesn't see that. She thinks you were just trying to fit in."

     "I am going to be honest with you. I know how you feel. I am definitely not what my mother wanted or expected me to be, the little pureblood princess she wanted. I am almost everything she didn't want Draco or me to be. I am friends with all blood statuses. I don't look down on others. I'm helpful to all. I'm a little mad. Sometimes I think she resents me. I know my father does a bit. Until recently I thought he hated me."

     "Really?"

     "Yeah. And with your mother... I actually see some of my mother in her, expectation wise. The only difference is my mother attempts to adapt to it. Like she hates that I am friends with a Muggle-born and Weasleys, but she is willing to deal with it. I mean I can't talk to her about you all but she isn't forcing me to abandon you all anymore. Our family lives are more alike than it seems. You just have 5 more brothers."

***

     "Harry!" Hermione says as she spots Harry with Cho, Ron with her. "Harry! Hagrid's back." They turn and start jogging for the bridge. They run down the sloping lawn to Hagrid's hut. They get there to find Umbridge talking with Hagrid and Ursa so they hide.

     "I will say this one last time." Umbridge says. "I'm ordering you to tell me where you've been."

     "I told you." Hagrid replies. "I've been away for me health."

     "Your health?"

      "Yeah. Bit of fresh air, you know."

      "Oh yes, As gamekeeper, fresh air must be difficult to come by. If I were you, I shouldn't get too used to being back. In fact, I mightn't bother unpacking at all."

     "I would watch who you threaten, Professor." Ursa says. "Wouldn't want to threaten someone who, oh I don't know, has magical creatures on their side would we? Or a Dark Witch that can talk to magical birds and is friends with the Hippogriffs."

      "Will you ever stop being a pain in my ass Miss Malfoy?"

      "Nope." Umbridge walks out of the hut and Ursa rolls her eyes. "Well, that went well."

     "Better than I thought it would to be honest." Hagrid replies. "Did you really have to use the Hippogriffs to threaten her?"

     "I know they already have a bad reputation, sorry."

     "Tea?"

     "Sure. Then you can tell me about your trip."

     "I cant tell you nothing Ursa."

     "Hagrid I already know where you were." There is a knock at the door.

     "Hagrid it's us." Hermione says. Hagrid opens the door and the trio gasps at his appearance. "What happened?"

     "Nothing I cant handle." Hagrid replies. "Come on in. Kettle's on the fire." The trio walks inside.

     "Hey Ursa." Hermione says.

     "Hey." Ursa replies as they all sit.

     "This is top-secret right?" Hagrid asks the trio as he places a piece of meat over his eye. "Dumbledore sent me to parley with the giants."

     "Giants?" Hermione exclaims. "You found them?"

     "Well they're not that hard to find to be perfectly honest. They're so big, see?

     "Where are they?" Ron asks.

     "Mountains."

     "So why don't Muggles-"

     "They do. Their deaths are always put down to mountaineering accidents. I tried to convince them to join the cause. But I wasn't the only one that was trying to win them over."

     "Death Eaters." Ursa says. "I heard they were sending people."

     "Wait did you know where Hagrid was this whole time?" Harry asks.

     "Duh." Ursa replies.

     "Ursa always knows more than she should." Hagrid says. "And that's not a compliment."

     "Moody said basically the same thing."

     "The Death Eaters were trying to persuade the giants to join You-Know-Who."

     "Did they?" Harry asks.

     "I gave them Dumbledore's message. Suppose some of them remember he was friendly to him I suppose."

     "And they did this to you?" Harry says while Fang barks.

     "Not exactly no." Hagrid tosses the meat on the ground in front of Fang. "Oh go on, you have it then, you dozy dog."