.....

I looked at my clay smeared hands as I tried to be as gentle as possible, the table rotation needing me to steady my hands. The feel of the rotating clay in my hands addictive- it has cost me a lot of time because I would end up not moulding the clay instead enjoying the feeling as I day dreamed about anything and everything free.

Pottery, a hobby I had craved to fully educate myself in in my younger years but I have always had a bit of an issue getting the hang of it, I often rushed the results and lacked the patience for the beautiful process of molding nothing into something. My problem was that I could already see what it could be and it excited me riding me of the shred of patience I claimed to at least have.

I recently got reacquainted with the art, I searched for ways to keep my hands busy instead of trembling. I started writing but whatsoever I wrote was too sad to leave for more than five minutes on paper, I didn't want to spread or better yet express sadness or fear to the world, I wanted to spread happiness, make the world a little better with the small part I played by doing what I loved.

"I hate you- I hate you so much my heart is only consumed by you-" I chuckled before glancing up at him, his expression the same as I had imagined it. Stoic and naturally intimidating. I took in a deep breath, the words didn't disappear from my lips. I have said them many times but the difference this time was the peace I had, I wasn't raging with anger and hatred, the difference was in the shred of happiness that was unending inside of me. I didn't want to say these things again but I had to get it out, I could not help it. It was healthy to do so because despite the shred of light the emotions were real and raw.

"Sadly that also means you consume me even in ways I'm not proud of." The vase I was making proved to be more time demanding and harder than I thought it would be. I huffed having to start all over again, the oversized overalls barely covering the white sports bra I had on. I felt hot. It wasn't even hot today. I felt, the heat was from the mess that was my life.

"I can't even be close to you in real life let alone look at you, I can't hold your gaze. Yet when I am finally able to look at you I feel like a poet, torn into two. One wants to dance in your blood the other wishes you were sane because it's consumed by you entirely.- I even sound like a wanna be poet." I chuckled. Looking at the sculpture of him I had tried to make made me laugh here and there because I was really horrible at this yet I was pleased. It levelled out my strong overwhelming emotions. I couldn't keep on crying to a man who didn't even understand what crying was. Lachlan genuinely didn't understand why I cried. I remember him asking me what tears were going to change and I replied truthfully saying nothing and then he proceeded to ask then why do I do it. It was pointless to explain it to him even though a part of me understood the stance on tears. He wasn't human.

"This is what I have resorted to!" I snorted looking around before looking to the heavens, he didn't allow me therapy now I was speaking to a sculpture of him as if it was a therapist. I looked at my the timer I had set, I have approximately 8 minutes to get this session over and done with.

I wished he was constant maybe I wouldn't be so torn, I wish he would just remain evil if he chose evil or good if he chose it. I was so afraid of him my entire body was very much conscious to his every single step afraid I would piss him off. I shouldn't be living like this, I was used to these emotions yet again they came as a sad story that evoked sombre emotions.

My eyes moved to Lachlan 2.0 sighing, it was easier said than done. I told myself I would stop asking him questions, and crying. It wouldn't help me. Although I couldn't help the bleeding of my heart because I really didn't understand. It was like no matter how much I see the person he is I just couldn't understand why he was so evil, because I didn't think such evil was possible.

"You have brought me to the brink of madness." I curled my feet grounding my emotions. -"I have been up thinking about this, it feels like I'm stuck in an unending cycle, you are not even close to redeemable at first, I thought maybe I could help you-you know -help you be better but I figured it's not complicated. You are just evil - you hurt me, my fear only grows I put out my heart to you you make it clear you are not sorry neither do you have any regrets I take it." I was tired, but it proved to be hard , these sessions started off silly but they proved otherwise. I liked throwing things at his head leaving dents. It got the crushing weight of my chest

I have never tried to leave Lachlan ever since I stepped foot in here, I have found different ways I would succeed everyday but I knew that Lachlan isn't stupid, it was bait. He just wanted to show me what would happen if I ever tried to leave him.

I looked up at the wobbly sculpture. My emerald earrings shinning in place of his eyes, it felt more real this way. I remember how proud I was for myself for adding that extra touch. I was done for today. I was done thinking about the bad things I wouldn't be able to change, it helped thinking about it for about an hour a day to get it out of my system and then going on with life. I had to let it out other wise it would consume me.

I held my breath for a minute before ridding the sombre from inside of me. I could feel everything change in a split second as I let out a breath. - it was not a gradual change- this new acquired ability scared me but it also worked to my advantage so I didn't ponder much on it. I preferred it this way. Despite my therapy sessions, they didn't in no way rid me of my hope. I smiled thinking about my last doctor's appointment well it wasn't really an appointment, my intention was to speak to my sister.

Lachlan left for business and he would be away for a few days, I insisted on seeing her because not asking about my sister was the hardest and almost easiest thing in the world, easy because I feared Lachlan with everything in me, hard because I also wanted to know everything that had to do with my sister, I was worried.

I had a whole four days to think about what transpired between him and his brother, the conversation lived rent free in my head. Even with a wound on my throat, branded in his name, beyond terrified of him, when it came to my sister I would fight until I couldn't. I was no match against him but for Serenity I wouldn't even give it a second thought. My biggest fear was my sister crossing paths with this man. I didn't want to speak to him but I would not sit idle. Ever since the conversation I felt like I was losing mind.

It didn't take much to convince him to go to the doctor, he actually didn't need any convincing I just asked and he said yes of course after convincing him it wasn't an emergency I just needed some different pills and I had questions for her otherwise he would have already been here. When I got to her office, I immediately asked about my sister. I couldn't wait any longer, my life was painfully repetitive. I have tried to avoid his animosity in every way but it was impossible, my actions remained futile. This further proved how he was who he was, a heartless psychotic Viking man, he will never change because he was beyond evil.

The doctor promised that on my next appointment she would get Serenity on a phone call so I could speak to her, it may not seem like much but it was a beacon of hope for me. I couldn't stop smiling my problems became insignificant, Lachlan was also not around to pull me back to reality so I was floating. A feeling I deeply missed. I pushed away everything.

I looked around my new found fourth heaven sighing, I loved this place. To think I told Lachlan one morning I wanted an art room with pottery supplies and in a few hours it had everything I wanted. I was still not over the glass room he had made me. It made me very emotional and the built in ice cream parlour that exactly resembled the one we went to, with all their flavours and even more. I had cried seeing it all because it messed me up. My fears were slowly proving to be more than just in my head.

The glass room reminded me of home and I knew I would never leave that room, he installed features that made the entire room dark even at day so I could see the stars, it also had the ability to imitate heavy rains which was my favourite setting. It was immaculate. When I asked him when he had done all of this he said it was the minute I mentioned it. He effortlessly did things like that, whatever I mentioned I wanted he granted the problem was that he was fucking deranged.

This only showed me what I already understood: Lachlan was never apologetic nor did he offer apologies, and this gesture didn't constitute one for the prior event. He acted out of his own volition, not in recognition of any wrongdoing. This became clear during our journey back home, when I confronted him about his actions, and he explicitly stated that he neither sought nor desired forgiveness. Instead, he warned me that if I were to repeat my actions, he would retaliate once more.

"The sooner I make peace with you being a psychopath, the better it will be for my mental health." This was starting to be a motto to me. I bit my tongue trying to get the shape of the vase right as I gently held onto the clay. This was the therapy I had created for myself, the heavy emotion and tears were now gone and I felt nothing but happiness as the timer I had set went off.

I took in a deep breath sitting back as I allowed my emotion to disperse through my body. I didn't care anymore, of course using that statement loosely -I was trying not to care anymore what was different was I believed in a future without him once more. For the first time in a long time I was happy -and it was a different kind of happiness. I kept on envisioning what she will say and what she will sound like. I didn't care about anything else my situation would come second I just wanted to hear her voice.

I stopped looking at the cutely deformed vase with a smile on my face. I was going to put it in his office because his office definitely needed some flowers. I couldn't help that my mind subconsciously thought of him. I was surprised because this hobby was very tiring I felt like I was working out my arms. I decided a small break wouldn't hurt.

I looked at the plates and mug I had made, the biggest pieces being for Lachlan,  the rat fairy, initially it was supposed to be a fairy but then somehow it turned into a rat fairy thing. Despite the deter from the final destination it was very cute and I loved it. I actually loved every piece I had made because it's something that I had made -they weren't easy on the eyes- but they were mine. Looking around I was a better mess than I was when we came back.

"Is that supposed to be me?" I didn't need to look up to know who it was his voice sent chills down my spine, littering my body with goosebumps. I was surprised at his return because I wasn't sure when he would come back, his departure gave me a break but it didn't help that I was back here.  When on his business trips he would call every night right before I went to sleep just to hear about my boring day, it was easier speaking to him without being in his presence even though his voice made me tremble.

There was barely any light in this room -it was dimly lit- aside from just the areas around my work station -I preferred it like this but even with little light I could clearly see his sharp beautiful features. His gaze held a magnetic intensity that both captivated and intimidated me. He easily commanded the room with his dominating presence.

His tie was loosely hanging around his neck undone, it was the only thing that seemed out of place. His suit was still as as neat as ever, one of his hands was in his pockets and the other held a bag. He was naturally intimidating, darkness radiated off him in waves as the air around him stood still awaiting his command. He was a beautiful psychopath. I blinked myself conscious and took in a deep breath.

"N-I mean yes." I stated looking elsewhere as he came closer the weight of the room getting heavier with every step as he consumed my mind.   I lost to him in real life even in the shambles of my mind I still lost to him.

I took in a deep breath once again before smiling up at him, he easily pulled me up bringing me to his hard chest, his scent dominating my senses. He tilted my chin up, capturing my lips in a searing kiss. His mouth moved with purpose, commanding and possessive, painting my body with goosebumps as I got lost in his possessive touch, drawing away from him I took in a shaky breath overwhelmed by his possessiveness and darkness.

I could feel my entire body submit to his touch as I slightly trembled against him his hands tightening around my waist. The tremble from the fear of being close to him and his fierce touch. I instantly felt like crying yet again as I was reminded of his power over me, and the fear of him felt like it would rip my body apart, the fact that my head instinctively laid on his chest as his hands protectively wrapped around me despite all of this tore me apart. I took in a deep breath grounding myself I already had my therapy session I knew better. My head was on his chest the beating of his heart a hoax in my mind because he had no heart.

Focus on the happiness

"Missed me?" I croaked pushing away the crushing magnitude of fear weighing down on me as I went still in his arms, his eyes alone a death sentence. Taking in controlled breaths. I had to take the little control I thought I had over my life. -Well my life that belonged to him.

"That's out of the question." He tilted my head up so I was looking at him yet again, the darkening of his eyes made my heart skip a beat. If I didn't know better one would think he was well but looking closer his void eyes were a warning.

"It's about time you took a break, I bought you the little things that you like." I furrowed my brows, taking the bag from him which actually weighed more than I thought, he made it look weightless. I chuckled looking at the ridiculous amount of sour worms he bought in little plastic jars with a golden embroidery.

I realised he was always watching me, I had stumbled upon them in the candy cabinet that always seemed to be refilled every day on our trip. I had never really been a fan of them but surprisingly I had found the saltiness addictive.

"You mean sour worms- Thank you Lachlan. Where'd you get them?" Lachlan didn't go to stores, when I first went with him I was convinced he has never been inside one before he hated them, he hated crowded places, you would never find him in anyplace that is crowded. I could feel my mouth water at the thought of already eating them. Warmth washing over me. I didn't waste a second giving him one of the jars of the plenty that were inside the bag.

I didn't need to say anything, he also knew.

"I got them made for you." My mouth dropped before I closed it clearing my throat, as he opened the jar. The man did the craziest of things, there was absolutely no reason, he could have just bought them. I looked inside the the jar unable to stop my widening eyes, the sweets were different shiny colours as I looked closer I would see my name on them- well with his surname - with a little doodle. This was -this was crazy.

"You -you had my name written on it- and- and doodles." I was anxious to get through the doodles. I had to hold back the urge to go through them with unwashed my hands.

"I know how much you enjoy looking at the little drawings on your food." I chuckled thinking about all the times he would tell me not to play with my food -which was candy.

"I don't even know what to say Lachlan. You are very thoughtful, thank you." I said opening my mouth indicating for him to feed me which he did.

"Don't thank me for fulfilling my responsibility's love." Was all he said as I melted at the different flavours that burst in my mouth. I was going to be a junkie for this candy. He turned us around so I was in front of him as he leaned against one of the table his hands around me. I was barefoot, I felt shorter today. I pushed away the urge of playing with his very neat and well kept beard as I steadied myself.

"Lachlan I will end up messing up your suit."

"You care for useless things." He brought me closer regardless my hands landing on his suit, which didn't bother him. The calmness around him deceitful.

"What did the doctor say about the pills?" I almost froze managed to keep my composure as I played with his suit, his scent intoxicating.

"She gave me a new prescription, expecting a review of the pills' effects on my body not long from now." Nothing about him seemed off as he agreed in understanding.

"Have you decided?" He didn't need to elaborate I knew exactly what he meant. I had successfully wiped it from my memory for the past few days but now it came rushing back as I held my breath, pausing before grounding myself.

"I-I need more time-I-I need everything to be perfect." My voice wavered as I partially lied through my teeth. If it was up to Lachlan the wedding would have been the minute we came back but I asked him to choose a date myself, claiming I just wanted one thing to be from my part. He agreed and told me he is giving me a week. I couldn't even pretend or try and think about it, it scared me beyond comprehension therefore I would dwell on it.

"Don't let your time run out." His tone was the same calm, but I knew better. My stomach turned as I nodded looking elsewhere.

"W-What do you think of your twin?" I asked clearing my throat my gaze moving to the sculpture I made of him. I watched his eyes analyse the piece, a brow of his lifting before looking back at me. My attention fully shifted and hopefully his too. I erased the distasteful memory from my mind.

"It's interestingly remarkable, love." A genuine smile took over my features as I watched him, butterflies filling my stomach. The sculpture was the first thing I had made so it was absolutely terrible, plus I couldn't recall how many times I threw things at it. I was amused at his words. Was he lying to protect my feelings, this seemed foreign but I couldn't help my widening smile.

"Really?" I asked closely watching him. He lightly kissed my forehead. His hand slowly rubbing over his tattoo on my skin.

"It's perfect." I raised a brow, completely not expecting his response. "Well-I" I cleared my throat trying to get a grip of myself, I have been rather busy at his absence seeing as my sleep was cut short because I jolted awake at nightmares created by him. I spent a lot of time here.

"I'm glad you think so because I made more." I held back down a smile when I saw his eyes subtly widen for a split second, if I hadn't been closely observing him I would have missed it. This was the first I actually thought this man was genuinely human. I slipped out of his hold, not expecting the excitement that filled my stomach at showing him my work. I took his hand into my own leading him to my other pieces. Unlike Lachlan 2.0 my other pieces were not so bad- okay, not that bad.

"I made you a mug and a plate -and a mystical creature." By mystical creature I meant the rat fairy, I moved him to my pieces. -"I also made other things." I couldn't help the smile on my face seeing my work. It felt like I had accomplished something after a long period of time. It wasn't about seeing how long he would do this anymore, I was genuinely proud of myself.

"It radiates life, wouldn't you agree?" His eyes were analysing the rat with wings. He cleared his throat before agreeing with me. I found amusement in the whole situation.

"I am honoured love." I watched him look over everything, his eyes continued to scan over every piece,  which made my smile widen.-"it's beautiful lass." I handed him one of the pieces. My cheeks started to hurt from the commotion it was facing. I felt like a mother looking at her fragile children -whom are plates at this moment but nonetheless the feeling was real.

"This bowl is -" he started before he could continue I quickly corrected him. Closely looking at him but his stoic expression unchanging.

"-Plate." Nodding his head as he looked at the plate once more, analysing it.

"Of course -it's a plate." He stated turning it around looking at every inch of it. "It's perfect love." He said watching me before kissing my forehead, spreading warmth and fear all over my body. His voice calm and convincing. I had to blink a few times trying to compose myself, I couldn't crash now. I don't think -no matter how hard I tried I could fully tune out the alarms going off in my head. I took in a deep breath calming myself.

"You really like it?" I questioned squeezing his hand.

"Aye." A wavering buzzing with my stomach took over me. I moved handing him the matching mug. He took it and held it as he held the plate, with hesitance and care as if if he held it in the slightest wrong way it would break. I was amused, my heart swelled up with warmth which felt invasive. It was like he opened a can of worms because then I started rambling on about what I wanted to do and he listened, to every word.

...

I looked at the door walking up and down. There was no such thing as getting used to this man's presence, I could feel his dark presence on the other side of the door. I did so much better before. I was taking it day by day. Sometimes the calm in my head was genuine around him, I couldn't even lie to myself and tell myself that he wasn't a monster.

I won't lie, I haven't felt suffocated as yet looking forward to something and knowing that I would get to speak to my sister made me more relaxed around him at times. All the bad suddenly didn't feel eternal. Despite all of this Lachlan was still Lachlan he was just naturally terrifying.

I have never been in this room before but I knew that he usually held important meetings in here from what I had heard from Annie. I debated just going back to my room but the pictures I had just seen proved more impactful. I needed to ask him whilst I still had the courage. I knocked not wanting to think about it any longer because otherwise I would've just ended up walking away.

"Come in," his voice pierced through the air like a sharp blade, causing me to freeze in place. My heart raced as I absentmindedly smoothed the fabric of my long skirt, the weight of anxiety settling in the pit of my stomach. I pushed open the heavy doors, its creaking hinges echoing in the dimly lit room.

As I stepped inside, I was immediately engulfed by his gaze. His dark eyes bore into mine, shamelessly raking over my form with a possessiveness that sent shivers down my spine. The world around me faded into insignificance as I stood before him, feeling exposed under his penetrating stare.

Despite being far from me, he was seated behind the long conference table, at the head of the table, he exuded an aura of power and darkness that seemed to command the very air around him. Even in repose, his presence was overwhelming, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of apprehension wash over me.

I was brought back to reality by a subtle movement at the corner of my eye, that's when it actually sunk in that there were other people in the room, I felt their eyes on me but for a second before they averted their gaze. I noticed a few familiar faces around the table his three brothers, they didn't say much but continued discussing whatever they had been discussing before I entered as Lachlan gestured for me to come over with his fingers. A wave of uneasiness washed over me, but I forced a smile and approached the Viking man, guided by my body's instinct.

There was never anything off about him from his nearly coiffed hair to his shoes, he was always neat even when he was adorned with blood from his victims. Lachlan remained calm as always, his voice cutting through the tension in my head as he stood and drew me into his embrace, his hand wrapping around my waist bringing me inches to him "Love," he murmured, his words infusing my body with a sense of life and warmth. It didn't seem to matter where we were with the Viking man, when I was with him, he always made sure to show me that his surroundings didn't matter he would always give me his full attention.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you," I replied, feeling the weight of his gaze upon me. I could hear the background chatter.

"There is nothing more important than you." He stated as always,  seriousness in his eyes as if I was now the only one in the room.

"Uhm I just wanted to remind you- I actually-" I took a deep breath steading myself in his arms reminding myself why I waltzed up in here in the first place. Although I could tell that he was in the middle of a meeting- I wasn't going to turn back now because I was already here.

"Remember when you said I could ask you for anything?" I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

"Aye." I averted my gaze feeling heat cover my cheeks at his simple response yet authoritative response.

"I wanted to ask you to please take me to the Cliffs of Moher." My lungs seemed to have acquainted themselves once more to the weight of the atmosphere around him as I was able to respite freely once more.

"Would you like to go now or tomorrow?" His response made my heart skip a beat, I was convinced he actually meant it when he would tell me I was the only thing that mattered to him.

"N-now please." I cleared my throat knowing very well that he was in a meeting right now but it was actually the perfect weather outside, it wasn't raining or sunny but just cloudy with wind. I chose to be bold. I noticed everyone else didn't even glance at us aside from one man not far from us.

"Okay." I tilted my head not understanding the word that just left his mouth. I was taken back. I mean I did plan everything but not up to this point.

"Oh-oh." I actually couldn't believe it. I thought he would say we would go after his meeting or something. I tried to fight the smile that wanted to take over my features. All the while as I went through several stages of being taken back his eyes never left me.

I watched him address them in his native tongue, the man was naturally commanding and dominant in every way even though he calmly did things, everything he did carried so much of power and dominance it was overwhelming.

My eyes wandered to the peculiar object on his desk—a rat figurine, incongruously placed amidst the opulence of his office. Rat Fairy! I squinted my eyes not believing them. Despite the seriousness of the room, I couldn't help but laugh at the sight, momentarily forgetting the gravity of the situation and the atmosphere in the room as warmth spread through my stomach.

"You put this here?" I asked, my voice tinged with amusement as I gestured towards the whimsical ornament. The long boardroom table a stark contrast to the ornament. I didn't actually think he placed it anywhere of importance.

"Of course. It's priceless—it gives my work- life, wouldn't you agree?" Lachlan replied, his eyes twinkling with amusement his hand moving to my back as he gently prepared for us to leave.

"Boss is right, it's... it's beautiful, Mam," the man interjected nervously, his attempt at politeness only serving to exacerbate the instant palpable tension in the room, as the whole room grew silent for a minute. I didn't understand what was going on but my skin started crawling at the drop of my heart.

Before I could respond, Lachlan's demeanor shifted in an instant, his voice dropping to a dangerous low as he addressed the man. "Who are you to speak to my fucking woman?" The words hung in the air like a death sentence, sending a chill down my spine. My mind couldn't grasp how quickly everything changed. I could feel his blood thirst as I clenched my fists trying to not have a panic attack. I could hear a pin drop. His voice had been light yet so terrifying.

The man began to stammer out an apology, but it was too late. In a swift, calculated motion, Lachlan drew a pistol from his waistband in a very calm manor as if he was reading the newspaper, and fired, the deafening sound reverberating through the room. I watched in horror as the man's lifeless body slumped in the chair, blood pooling beneath him as Lachlan calmly put away his pistol. Lachlan gave a command that was clear in his language everyone left without turning their backs as the sound continued to ring in my ears.

I couldn't move, couldn't scream—fear rooted me to the spot as I stared at Lachlan, absolutely nothing rattled or off about him, his movements calm and calculated. Every fiber of my being trembled with terror, afraid to provoke him further. My lips quivered, the only sound escaping them were desperate whimpers, as I felt my legs begin to move back, once able to afraid he would hurt me.

"Don't provoke me, baby," was all he said, his voice dripping with danger, I knew that was the only warning he would give the next time he won't be speaking instead I will be screaming. My body froze, he placed me on top of the table, tilting my head up to look at him before I shook my head frantically, apologizing and trying to quell the rising fear within me. I have come too far. Like a ditch it all came back and I could barely breathe, I was drowning in fear.

"Please don't hurt me, I'm sorry," I pleaded, my voice trembling with terror. The mere thought of his anger turning towards me sent shivers down my spine. My body felt like it was on the verge of breaking down, the weight of his presence bearing down on me like a suffocating blanket.

"I won't hurt you, love. You did nothing wrong," he reassured me, his words a stark contrast to the violence that had just unfolded. His lips brushed against my temple in a fleeting kiss, but the warmth of his touch did little to ease the chill that had settled in my bones. My eyes moved to the dead body, my body trembling, he tilted my head making me look at him.

"Don't feel sorry for him," he declared coldly, his gaze piercing into mine with an intensity that sent a shiver down my spine. "The moment he dared to believe he had the right to address you, he was dead." His words hung in the air, heavy with finality, a stark reminder of the power he held over life and death. I shook my head thinking this should not scare me anymore, he was a demon psychopath, I should be used to it. It seems there was a lot I refused to get used to, but it was impossible to get used to this.

"Are you calm now?" His voice light as I nodded my head wiping away the tears threatening to spill, he gently placed me onto my feet, the stark difference in our height great, as I looked at his chest.

"Ready to leave?" He asked expecting an answer, I felt crazy, I felt like I was the only one who just witnessed what he did. It seemed like he didn't just kill a person a few minutes ago as he looked down at me, everything else vanishing.

"Yes." He placed his hand against my back leading us out. My mind was stuck on the dead body we were leaving as if it was nothing. I regretted even waking up this morning, another body to end to my nightmares. At this moment I wished my happy pills still worked. It didn't even take long for me to be immune to them which didn't rattle me, Lachlan had a way of painfully dragging me back to reality.

...

Hey guys

I couldn't log into my Wattpad account for some time. Despite emailing Wattpad multiple times, I received no response. I'm just relieved that I didn't lose access to my account. Apologies for the delay.

Anyways I think we are almost getting to the finish line with this book.

...

Tell me what y'all think.