https://youtu.be/CctrCSGo-W0

"The concept of love, I never understand that. It has always been a mystery to me. I have never been in love. I have never had time. The self loathing and constantly living in the past has never let me to love.

Love, a mysterious but meaningful word. I have heard love happens in mysterious ways, like itself. We can't control with whom it will happen. But I think we are not that naïve that we will let it to happen with anyone. I don't know if it is related to Soul mates thing or not.

There is a myth about Soul mates that if we can't sleep at night without any reason, our soul mate is also somewhere in the world lying awake.

But how can you prove it? You don't have any proof of that. It's just a myth. A simple plain old myth.

But I guess love is also related to it. I think love is a bond, an infatuation, care, affection we feel for our other half.

They say our soul mate has a part of us within them and their in us. That's why we feel an instant connection with them when we meet with that intensity we have never felt for anyone.

I don't know which thing is true and which is not. And Love..... I guess it is also connected to it.

Soul mates and Love are simultaneous terms I guess which are connected but in a weird and twisted way.

I guess that is why they say Love can only happen once. In that, it doesn't matter how much ugly you think you are in your eyes but in the eyes of your significant other, the love of your eyes', your beautiful soul is the only thing that matters.

Because he will love the diamond inside you, not the dirt in which that diamond resides.

That's why it is so twisted; we don't even know which way it will turn, what is true and what is false, because our eyes are blinded with the fold of faith. The faith we put in our other half whom we think he is but there is no guarantee of that too. Maybe he is not the one; maybe he will leave you in near future where you have already written 'Forever'.

But time and fate has a very important role in it. They say time can do anything and with the passage of time, everything will get in the places where they should be. And fate, fate has a very twisted to work. It can give you happiness in a second and can snatch everything from you in a heartbeat.

But it is believed that fate at least for once in our lifetime let us come face to face with our soul mate, other significant other but we just have to believe and have faith in it and let loose that when time comes we can accept what it throws at us."

I heave a sigh and close my diary and leave it there. My thoughts, they can be very jumble into each other like a puzzle. I don't know what to write about it and what to not. I'm just writing because my hand is going on. I'm not going to stop it even. Everybody needs a release from their thoughts now and then.

But this habit of mine is because of my mother. She knew I'm not going to share my thoughts with anyone and I like to be quiet too. So she give me this gift one day, a helper, a friend, a listener who listens to my strangest thoughts without any question and doubts. It let me get loose and relax and make me free from my thoughts so I can be sane next day. It's very hilarious though. Because a single thought can make you insane and can echo in your ears, in your mind repeatedly like a broken tape recorder.

Strange isn't it? A single thought can be the cause of your death and can be the reason of your reincarnation not physically but of your mind, your soul, your perception, the way you see the world. A single change in perception and Voila! The world is new. The same sun shining starts looking beautiful, the rain falling starts making you calm, the slight breeze brings enough peace to your mind and heart to calm your inner turmoil. It's a very strange thing.

I get up from my chair and pick up the picture of my mom and I from the bedside table and trace the picture of mom with my fingers lightly. She was so beautiful then even after all the storms, she was still so breathtaking then.

I am the exact carbon copy of my mom in appearance. In the picture, she has the same black hair, same brown eyes but with a different shine that she had always in there, the same long face but with soft fair and glowing skin and pink lips. But she had a petite figure because of the circumstances, the hardships we faced then. But I'm here because of her where I want to be; successful.

When I put the photo down, the thought of Andrew and the today's events come to my mind. The thoughts of Andrew always make my heart race which is very unusual as I have never felt like this before for anyone. But I'm not going to dwell on it. I know hope should always be there inside us but it's not right to think of him more than a friend. He is just my boss. Not more, not less.

I shake my head and go to take a nice warm bath before sleep. I sigh in pleasure when the warm water hit my skin and all the thoughts wash away with it. After half an hour of pleasure I put on my night wear and walk into my room. I lay down on my flat and put on my comforter up to my neck and just stare at the ceiling. I hum an old tone I don't know I remembered till now and drift into a dreamless sleep.

Hey guys, update on time. i hope you enjoy this. its short i know but dont wry next update will be soon. the song on the side "Can't stop falling". Have a nice day guys and we'll meet soon.

~Stela~