Quietly, I examined the page beneath me. My pencil-lead traced beneath my gaze in simple patterns; writing out each number as my thoughts connected the answers. Calmly I wrote the next solution to the equation.

Another page of a book flipped by. I ignored the noise to the right of me and continued scribbling more number sequences beneath me. But yet I was distastefully aware of Him. Every breath he took, every movement he made... it reminded me every second of every day of who I sat by.

I was already excessively conscious of those next to me, so how did it become I had to sit next to the very person I despised the most here?!! I forced my face to be expressionless... I forced another answer to be left behind by my pencil.

He had never noticed me... And I wanted it to stay like that. I wanted to be nothing more than another face when his eyes glided by. I was a wallflower; contentedly and utterly peacefully so. And though I knew I could have a normal social life; especially with Karri by my side... I still wanted nothing more than to disappear into my surroundings. But he could change all that.

If I got on the wrong side of him; my peaceful existence would end. And as much as I hated him- I wasn't about to cross him.

"Class, you have ten more minutes to finish your tests."

My eyes rose to the clock, but in time to see a basketball player lean back into his seat swiftly. The camera on his phone closed just in time for it to be swept back into his pocket. The girl next to him seemed oblivious to her skirt which had slightly risen; and though her ankles were crossed, the same closure didn't extend all the way up to her knees.

I watched blankly for only a second longer, inside dreading the anonymously hint I was going to have to report to the faculty, before I finished my glance to the clock and back down to my paper. But instantly, I was aware of Hayden's gaze into my direction; those silver orbs staring straight towards me. My heart drummed loudly but I calmly wrote some incoherent set of numbers and fake equations, my wallflower persona naturally clamping down any movements in this moment of instinctual panic. My mind couldn't think past that.

Don't notice me... Don't notice me.

Had he seen me watching Michael? Was he waiting for my reaction?

I felt some sweat began to dampen my hands. Hayden surveyed people like I did; the wolf always kept on eye on the herd. And I might have just mistakenly caught his interest. Panic began to engulf my internal system. I could picture it so easily; his emotionless gaze consuming what was before him, his mind devouring my persona; evaluating the puppet he had yet to play with. He would, after all, be curious as to why I had no reaction after seeing what I did.

No, I whispered internally. No one will think twice about you. Even if he's watching you, you are not going to be interesting enough to be worth his time.

Still, some core fear, craving, demanded to know if my camouflage had been discerned. It was engrained into my system for so many years now; a thought-process of coping and escaping.

I couldn't be seen. I didn't want to be found.

My eyes danced to my note card held tightly in my right hand. I raised it slightly, as if to read one of the equations, but it allowed enough of my peripheral to graze his face and where his eyes were still looking.

Over my head... My eyes closed for half a second. He had only been watching Michael with the same blankness that I had...

I almost sunk into my chair in relief. I erased my mindless scribbles and finished the last bit of my test. Hayden calmly went back to his book unaware of my barely subsiding chaos. The whole situation felt all too familiar; my fear that I had caught his gaze once again. I couldn't help but to think of when I had first met him...

.

.

Karri had sat next to me at lunch, further prodding me as we discussed our art classes that were temporary joined together. It was a monthly thing, advanced art and beginners would blend together to help other students who needed it. I didn't hide any skill when I drew in there but I changed my genre of preference, keeping it to realism. It hid my way of thinking; and also made my art harder for people to bother me about.

It was always shocking for people to see it for the first time though, that never changed, for I had an ability to draw hyperrealism. But I drew things no one liked, places no one cared about.... things no one would strive to keep asking about. And so, once the shock left.... they left. And that was all I wanted. To be left alone...

"You know, as much as she glared at him- she actually was proud of him today." Karri laughed suddenly.

I chuckled and poked my cheek with the butt of my pencil, "Yeah, well today is the first day he actually was able to draw a circle."

She grinned and I laughed along. "Okay, okay, fine Alys. So we all can't draw like you, but at least he was trying!" she leaned in, "But the best part of it all... Ms. Lexington actually laughed with him..."

"I told you," I pointed out, "She acts like she only tolerates us for the sake of teaching and her job, but she actually takes pride in her students."

"I don't get how you're able to see that," Karri leaned back and crossed her arms as she evaluated me. Ms. Lexington, though professionally cordial, was also extremely dismissive to many of her students. To the point most everyone thought she hated them.  She helped them draw... she helped them learn. But she did not comfort them. And she she did not tolerate disobedience, in any form. At least.... to everyone else's eye.

"Easy," I said, "She has cut corners before, all to help students out. Do you remember that time when Sammy forgot his project for finals?"

Karri nodded her head slightly, "Yeah, he was almost in tears as he wandered in. We all knew he would fail because he forgot to bring it."

"Exactly, but he didn't. Ms. Lexington coincidentally declared she was disgusted with everyone's art projects and that we needed more time to work on them."

"Bull." Karri countered. "She did that because no one in our class can draw but you and the other advanced freaks, and even then, they seemed to be struggling."

Ms. Lexington had very high standards...

"You sure? She only decided that after roll-call when she met Sammy's red eyes and an empty desk." I met Karri's gaze.

She hesitated before she finally broke away, "Dammit Al, how do you know these things!"

I smiled and peeled open my Jell-O cup, "I know these things for more than one reason. I can't even count how many times she has done something to help out a student. But she doesn't want them to know, she'll never show them that weak side of hers. And she's smart to do that. But still, every now and then we get glimpses of her unguarded smile." I paused as I looked at my Jell-O cup. My own smile softened at the thought, "And I think... I'm actually okay with her façade. Funny, huh?"

"Oh..." Karri smiled against her hand while leaning in, "Is this progress I hear?"

I raised an eyebrow but couldn't help the smile.

"Dare I say it?" I asked in fake astonishment.

She grinned. "Do it".

"I might actually be making progre-"

We both flinched in our seats from the loud crash. I turned to face one of the stairwells in the cafeteria and watched as someone lay on the ground clutching his face. I could tell by the uniform that it has one of our soccer players though I couldn't really see who yet.

Hayden stood a few feet above him on the steps and by his blank and emotionless face I assumed he had simply been there at the wrong place wrong time. But he slowly descended those last remaining steps and I saw one of his legendary smiles tighten across his lips, revealing his teeth. I had always known he wore a mask- but I had never known what exactly lay beyond those silver eyes. He knelt down next to the other man and I saw him whisper something softly and for the first time in my life; I saw a true emotion on Hayden's face.

It was malice. Complete and utter malice.

My stomach sunk away from me as I watched the other people gather around. Hayden almost seemed to sense their approach, though his back was turned to them. Another word managed to be whispered between his grin before he stepped back and put on a mask again. He appeared to be worried now, his eyebrows creasing together. Yet I could tell he was side glancing and evaluating their friends as they gathered to the fallen player.

My pupils were fully dilating. I could see it... something I hadn't seen in a very long time; a manipulation of those around them, a corrupt influence that was dangerous and distorted. My body had not forgotten its phantom breath. A hole of chaos opened up within me out of instinct to what type of person stood before me.

My eyes fell to the form on the ground. It was Jason, the captain of soccer team. He stood up slowly staring at Hayden like he was afraid to move in some wrong way or accidentally step on some hidden land mine. Hayden simply offered a hand while everyone tried to stabilize Jason. And I knew what would happen next... the other insects stepped into his web of lies; I could see them all falling for some false illusion that had polluted the air.

"I was startled..." Jason quickly murmured, "And I tripped."

One of the girls rubbed his back while some other teammates tried to tell small jokes to make him feel less tense- embarrassed as they saw it. And Hayden fit right in. Some of the female soccer players shyly bashed at his caring words for his friend.

I stared in complete dread at what I was still seeing. Jason slowly rose to his feet and bowed his head quickly as he walked off and left the lingering gazes from the cafeteria. Hayden watched Jason's departing form while cocking his head slightly; his ear tilting to a girl talking to him, though I doubted he was actually paying attention. Bradley slung his arm around Hayden and they all sauntered off. I could see the devil's smile as he laughed. But then he turned his eyes towards the crowd that still watched. His evaluating stare moved through us all.

Girls next to me giggled but when his eyes met mine; I couldn't move. I knew my face looked terrified. I should have placed on a mask, but I didn't; I couldn't even think coherent thoughts, that phantom breath still clinging to my skin.

His eyes stayed on mine for half a second longer before he returned his attention to Bradley. Within a few seconds they had left the room behind.

Something inside me turned uncomfortably. I expected and feared for the worse- I finally knew what lay behind that placid gaze; hatred, malice and a hunger for something. And I might have just revealed what was beneath my own; the horror on my face as I was not fooled by his actions.

But... nothing happened.

I had wanted to say that my disdained stare had affected him; that his smile had faltered or a crack had appeared in his façade... all because he feared that I wasn't truly convinced. That I knew what he really was.

I wanted to say these things.

But I couldn't. He never once gave another sideways glance at me and hadn't bothered to since then. Apparently my fear and understanding had not been recognized. I was still just another mindless face in the crowd to him and I wondered if anything could faze him. None the less, I kept my shielded gaze upon him after that.

Now that I had finally met him, now that I had seen the hell within those eyes- it was so easy for me to pierce through his illusion and see his true self. And I had every opportunity to watch it, because by some horrible chance, every semester after that I shared at least one class with him.

But I knew, no matter what, I could never show anything beneath my own mask. I could never allow him to take interest in me. What I knew, what I drew....

I would be his fatal obstacle, the one person who might rat him out to all the others.

A sheep just like him.

A wolf- just like him.

.

.

I forced myself to finish the last question of my test as Ashley fought to get Hayden's attention now that she was done with her work. Her nasally giggles escalated and I knew it was because he must have glanced at her. But I knew Hayden better than anyone... And my internal grin tightened.

I knew how much she was annoying him. I knew what form of hell he was in as he tried to retrain his false composure. The downfall of having so many toys was he had to pacify them in order to keep them.

"Pssstt... Hayden..."

The muscles within my cheek only wanted to tighten more. Yet suddenly, I too found that voice was not easy to tune out.

"Pssssssttt..."

I cringed slightly. My fists tightened their grasp, probably mirroring his own. In that moment, my smile had disappeared.

Again, I was cornered and suffocating within my very skull. Again I was aware of those who sat next to me. I pictured Ashley's mouth spitting slightly as her words collided with the abrupt 't'.

I pictured the kid to my left who licked his lips and clutched his new photo dearly. I pictured Bradley watching Hayden with a small smile, though deep within him- he hated Hayden for being everything he was not.

For being Ashley's one and only crush.

"Hayden ..." she whispered just in time for the bell to ring.

I stood up instantly and dropped my test on Mr. Hastens desk. Within a few seconds I was out the door. Karri was already at her locker and I silently strolled up next to her, before slamming my head against the metal that bestowed my ownership until the end of the year.

"That bad?" she questioned bemused.

"The test? No, not really. People? Disgustingly yes..."

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A/N: I've received a few comments and messages inquiring if I was inspired by "Cheese in the trap" a Korean Manhwa. While most people have been simply curious, I did get an odd message accusing Hayden's architype of being a rip off from that series. That did give me a chuckle.

I've recently looked into that Manhwa and I absolutely love it. But to answer the question, this novel you are reading debuted January 2010 on fictionpress.com (Just Smile and Nod was the previous name, and it's all still here). I believe it wasn't until 6 chapters, late in 2010 did the Manwa "cheese in the trap" first publish IN Korean/ in Korea and it wasn't for another year or so before it was translated into English. So no, I wasn't inspired by Cheese in the Trap, as it wasn't in existence yet when this story first came out.

With that being said, people like Hayden and the main male character of this Korean drama DO exist in real life. This personality type, while I'm sure not common, does exist in media (I'm sure), simply because there are real people like this.

Thank you (to most of those comments) for recommending this manhwa to me though, it truly is spectacular I can't wait to keep reading it.