A/N: Sorry, this is a medium size update but hopefully better than nothing. I do have the next chapter roughly written I just need to expand on some parts and proof read, but I am hoping to get that one up shortly after.

Thank you,

-Helium

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In the early morning hours of school, long before most my fellow students arrived to begin the last few days of classes of their high school lives... I began to paint.

I began to paint the end of it all. The last chapter of this book, of this story... of this mural.

A story about hatred and revenge.

I struggled for a moment, blending the gray paint I was shrouding around the iris of this figure's eyes. The steel gaze was painted coldly; almost emotionlessly. A sharp grin, like a blade of self-loathing, stretched upon his lips. 

It whispered something so false.... Yet I knew what was underneath.

The image of Hayden. How many times had I drawn him? Sketched him? Captured his likeliness and emotions in the thousands of pages....

Yet still my hands trembled. My fingers felt weak.

"It's okay." His voice said softly from behind me and I jolted suddenly on the ladder. I had forgotten Hayden was below me as I finished this last part. He was supporting the ladder, immediately leaning firmly into it when I jerked slightly.

"Alys..." He ground his teeth a slightly, "Please don't jump like that."

"I didn't mean to." I said embarrassed back, looking back into the face of the painted figure. "I... just lost myself."

"I know." he said softly.

Together, I'm sure, our thoughts went down the same path. Mania. A side effect of some mental disorders. Perhaps ones I inherited from my father. Losing yourself in something; feeling like you were high on drugs in its creation.

But that was not what was happening though. I simply just got lost. Lost in sadness. Lost in regret. Lost in a dozen what-ifs.

"Lost in you." My words were quiet.

If he heard, he didn't react to it. Instead, he held the ladder firmly. I could feel the counter pressure as I moved a little to the left, gently overlaying the silver tone into the painted eyes again. After a few minutes more. It was done.

The scene was done.

I gripped the top of the ladder, ready to descend. But I froze long enough to stare at my creation as a whole.  Hayden was painted accurately to his age and appearance now, though when Tucker died, he would have been 14 or 15. But I knew it didn't matter, he actually preferred a more accurate image so no one would misunderstand it was him up there.

In this mural, he was receiving a handshake from the Governor, accepting the deal that would cover the death of Tucker. The Governor's face was etched with a cold smile as well. His hand gripping tightly to Hayden's own. I painted the shadows on the indentations in his skin, whether Hayden realized it or not, to show the painful force in which they struck a deal.

Surrounding them were dozens of real documents plastered in; newspaper clippings, emails, minor funding reports, condemning correspondences he had sent to Mrs. Campbell, our principal. We didn't have the means to crack or reveal all he had done as Governor; we could only show this one at least. He denied the laws that would have helped foster kids due to the State having no finances to spare. He had approved and embezzled money into this school for a massive stadium that he could run for another term again- standing on a glorified stage of sins, wrapped up like a present to a school that hardly deserved it.  And unknown to the most the world, he also helped cover up the death of Tucker. He helped sweep away the sins of the Russel family, leaving all the guilt and blame on Hayden though this was not perused. But the Governor was not the only one truly guilty....

Mark Donovan. The bastard himself was not allowed to be painted here despite my efforts to add him. I wanted to so badly put him where Hayden stood. It was he who abandoned his nephew to the orphanage and Child Services. It was he who stole away Hayden's inheritance. It was he who only protected Hayden to ensure the illegal signatures would not get out. It was he who helped cover up Tucker's death. Who, instead of revealing what the neglect from the State had caused... simply allowed the charge of "manslaughter" to be implied before bribing those involved to look the other way.

Hayden shared many similar features to his uncle. I had the sudden urge to alter the portrait before me, to age the figure, change the attire, make it resemble the lawyer who could have prevented this all.

But instead, I found the strength to let go and descend.

I felt tired suddenly. So drained at what I had done. Hayden captured me in his arms as I lowered myself to that last few rungs and I gladly burrowed my face into his shirt.

My eyes ached as I damned back the tears. Neither of us said anything, he only held me close, pressing his warm lips into the side of my neck.

Finally, after a minute he released me.

"Almost done," Gentle fingertips traced my jawline, tilting my face up to meet his. "We will let it dry and then put on the next coat. You won't have to look at it ever again."

If only he knew. I never forgot them.  I could see all my work so clearly, so easily. I never once lost sight of their sins.

Of mine.

"Okay." I lied instead.

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Numbly, I walked the halls at midday. The mural was officially done. I met Tim's eyes as I walked steadily to my locker. He smiled at me, a soft somber smile, before his eyes found Hayden behind.

"You guys doing okay? Looking like hell, honestly," He smiled in an attempt at humor.

"We're okay." I exhaled back, though I did enjoy Hayden narrowing his eyes slightly at the remark. Even though I had found the time a few nights ago to speak with Hayden about Tim knowing my past; I wasn't entirely sure if he would believe me that Tim could be trusted to not tell anyone I still suffered from anxiety; that I could still draw under the influence of my emotions.

Hayden was so used to the scenario of being black mailed, targeted, abused when someone found something so sensitive or horrible in his life.... It must have been hard for him to not feel aggressive and hateful of Tim.

But, as far as I could tell, Hayden believed me, or at least listened to me, and didn't try to confront Tim.  Or worse, threaten him. Looking at them now, Hayden didn't seem resentful or concerned. Could he read Tim well enough then? Did he fully understand this was someone who truly cared for me?

I think he did. So, unlike all the years I had seen Hayden respond to threats.... To all those persons who he removed from his life for their arrogance and betrayal.... He now, for the first time, didn't have to do a thing and nothing bad would happen. He somehow finally understood with Tim, I was safe.; my secret was safe.

Tim talked to Hayden easily for a moment, asking if he would stand with the other soccer players at graduation. Hayden declined, he had left the team this year, but Tim pressed.

"You were a valued member man, everyone knows it. It doesn't matter you didn't play except the first half this year, clearly other stuff came up but we'd still love you there."

It was I who had to remind Tim that after we collected our diplomas, it was Hayden and I who would stand and reveal the new mural.

"You?!" Tim asked a little incredulous.

I bristled slightly and shot him a glare "I don't have stage fright, Tim."

"No, but you didn't use to be keen on people looking at you, especially being the center of attention. You going to be okay?"

"I'll be there with her," Hayden remarked easily, perhaps a little too dryly. I gave him another amused look, but felt warmth spread to the tips of my ears. The memory was still there.

Are you jealous?

Yes. Unbearably so.

I opened my locker, and tried to avert my gaze. I almost preferred the numbness in which my mind had just been in. Hayden had sensed my thoughts somehow. While Tim rambled on about his fear of public speaking, soft fingertips rose beside me and gently began brushing my hip bone and arm.  They lifted slightly to the edge of my wrist and coerced me to let go of a binder and let my hand fall. There his fingers gently played with mine, despite his attentive conversation to Tim. It was all too subtle of movements. Hidden between close bodies, shadowed by the locker door. Yet, I felt my heart pounding. Felt like the world knew what his touch was doing to me.

Finally, Hayden let go and excused himself.

"I'll see you after school." he held my gaze for a long moment before leaving. I knew he was finalizing the last part of this with Randal. Ensuring there is no trail to our tech cracker. Ensuring it all looked like the paperwork we used was all anonymously donated from an unknown source.

"Well," Tim smirked slightly "I'm starting to believe you really were just tying each other up and drawing lewds for the mural"

"Tim!" I gasped and slapped his hand away that was poking my cheek.

"You suck at hiding your expression Alys." He laughed. He then cocked his head slightly as he watched me. "I never thought I'd say that to you honestly. You really are different now." He grinned knowingly at me, " I guess love does that to you."

I breathed heavily out and slammed my head into the cold metal of the locker door "I get why Karri said she wanted to kill you half the time."

"Aw my sweet sweet renegade child" He sighed in pride, "She most definitely has tried over the course of the years."

After that though, his smile dropped and he crossed his arms and leaned in closer to me.

"You sure you really want to do this? You are technically done. You don't have to paint a thing more."

I looked up into Tim's eyes but he already knew the answer.

He nodded seeing my emotions before gently slipping a pair of keys into hand.

"The one with the red dot unlocks the school doors. This one here is for the new auditorium. No one will know they are missing."

I nodded softly. He watched my face for a second more before he turned and walked away. Leaving no room for speculation of other students. No room for eavesdropping.

No chance to change this from happening.

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In the dark late hours of the night, long after my fellow students went home for the day... I began to paint.

I began to paint the true end of it all. The true last chapter of this book, of this story... of this mural.

A story... not about hatred and revenge.

A story about finding peace.

The darkness of these halls would have probably been eerie to others, but to me the silence represented calmness. Darkness was always was a place I found comfort in. I moved with ease and slowly found myself unlocking the final door to the mural.

The massive two-story room seemed so much smaller with only the few shop lights I dragged along. The glass ceiling above glimmered a few stars in its pane, but otherwise no other light was present.

I stared at the center mural.

Tears fell down from my face.

I could see them all so easily. So shamefully.

"I will not be like you." I whispered to my father "I will not be consumed with revenge."

And so, I began.

Minutes went by. Hours. The moon shifted. The stars eased along. Paint-stoke after paint-stroke, I layered the water repellent over spots that were meant to wash away. Some I let be, some sins would still be revealed. But others.... born of my own wretched revenge, would become nothing more.

With a wet rag, a paint knife, and precise firm movements I painstakingly removed some of the oil paint of the outer cloak.

I opened the mural up. Pealed away layers of outer images to see the secret scene of what underneath.

Hayden, striking a deal with the Governor.

I smiled softly, leaning forward on my high ladder, and gently kissed the painted lips of the one I nervously felt I loved. My breath exhaled for a moment more, tears blurring my eyes, before I finally leaned back. Tucked into my side bag ... there was no journal. There was only a folder. Hayden's folder.

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In the dark late hours of the night

I began to paint

the end to it all.

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A/N:

This is why you get a tracking devise, Alys. You keep sneaking into places. Tsk tsk.

Also, Hayden cleaned up after the mural was completed. So, he doesn't have his alert system there (used to track when people inspected on the mural when they were gone). But I'm sure he will realize sooner or later she went back in...... ;)