"Good news, Eustace," Dr. Wentworth said with a maniacal look in his eyes. He was unshaven, his clothes were rumpled, and his hair was unkempt, but he looked much happier than Eustace could recall in recent memory.

"Have you worked out all the bugs in your universe hopping machine, sir?"

"What?" Dr. Wentworth wrinkled his brow in confusion. "No, that thing's still driving me batty. But have no fear! I will get it sorted out. No, the good news I speak of today is I have decided to eliminate that blasted lockbox."

"You mean that one meant to keep the inhabitants of other universes contained, but yet we somehow keep imprisoning ourselves in instead?" Eustace asked.

"Well, yes. Obviously. Is there some other lockbox I'm forgetting about? One that works perfectly and we could have been using this whole time? Don't get smart with me, Eustace. It's not a good look for an assistant. You don't want me to send an unfavorable report to your little community college, do you?"

"No, sir."

"Then stop pointing out my numerous failures to me, would you? Besides, it's not my fault the lockbox didn't work correctly. It was still a brilliant invention on my part. No, clearly there was some sort of shoddy material used in the construction process. I must have bought some cheap parts that were manufactured in some third world country like Belgium. Remind me not to skimp on the costs in the future, would you? The headaches caused by utilizing sub-par equipment are not worth the few pennies saved."

"Agreed," Eustace said.

"I'm glad you agree, because I am correct in this assessment as usual." Dr.

Wentworth blinked his eyes a few times and smacked his lips. "What the heck were we talking about again?"

"You said you had some good news, sir. I believe it was about the lockbox and how you're not going to use it anymore."

"Oh yes. In fact I have a new diabolical scheme in which we shall leave the lockbox on that accursed Dr. Octavius's doorstep, ring the doorbell, and then run away. And then it will be he who shall be forced to deal with that wretched box. And what a glorious day that shall be when I get to witness his tears of anger and frustration as it robs him of precious hours of his life! At last vengeance shall be mine!"

"Does that mean you're also abandoning your plan of attacking him from another universe?" Eustace asked.

"No, of course not. Don't be foolish. He will suffer from the lockbox indeed, but he must be made to feel the wrath of my revenge on multiple levels. That is the only way I shall be satisfied. The plan is one hundred per cent still on. As soon as I get the universe hopping machine working reliably, that is."

"Okay," Eustace said. "But are we still going to be trading places with someone from the other universe?"

"Yes, that's how the machine works," Dr. Wentworth said. "Haven't you been paying attention this entire time?"

"Yes, sir," Eustace said. "I'm just wondering if you're getting rid of the lockbox, which admittedly didn't fulfill its purpose too well, how are you going to keep whoever we swap places with from destroying your lab or going on another murderous rampage in the town?"

"Ah yes, I have come up with a simpler, more elegant solution to this problem. We shall clear the lab of all valuables. I'm assuming you stay in some sort of apartment or other domicile, yes?"

"I do," Eustace said. "I've got a one bedroom over on the wrong side of the tracks."

"Excellent. I shall need to commandeer it for storage purposes. That will prevent them from harming anything in my lab. As for keeping them contained, behold! I have invested in a padlock!" He whipped out a small metal box and shoved it in Eustace's face. "Look, Eustace! It even has a tiny keyhole so we need not concern ourselves with another passcode debacle. Now follow me outside and allow me to demonstrate how this shall work."

"I'm familiar with padlocks, sir."

"Didn't we just have a discussion about you not getting smart with me, Eustace? I said follow me outside. Now are you coming or am I going to have to dial up the dean at your school and leave a scathing review of your work ethic?"

"I'm coming, sir," Eustace sighed as they went outside. The sun seemed unusually bright and it was so hot out it felt like they had been blasted by a furnace.

"Now observe," Dr. Wentworth said. "You place the padlock in position like so. Make sure the little loopy thing on top clicks into place just like this and voila! Nobody can exit the building!"

"Nobody can get in the building either," Eustace said.

"Yes, well we don't care about people getting in the building, we merely wish to

prevent them from getting out."

"But we're outside, sir," Eustace said. "And I don't mean to complain, but it's really hot today. You think we could go back in and get in the a.c.?"

"I suppose it is a bit balmy out here," Dr. Wentworth said. "Very well, hand me the key to the padlock and we shall go inside and cool off with some ice teas."

"I don't have the key, sir."

"Well, I bloody well don't have it," Dr. Wentworth snapped. "I handed it to you for safekeeping."

"No, sir, you did not. I don't remember ever seeing the key. Are you sure it came with one?"

"Blast it!" Dr. Wentworth shouted as he grabbed the lock and attempted to pull it open. It didn't budge at all and the metal had already become so heated by the hot sun that he burned his hand in the process.

"I'm sincerely not trying to be smart, sir, but now might also be the time to point out that we're probably going to need to lock the padlock on the inside of the door. Otherwise we're not going to be able to get back in and keep it locked even if we had the key, which it doesn't seem that we do."

"Yes, of course I realize that. Are you suggesting I'm some sort of idiot? I was simply demonstrating how the padlock worked and I thought we could both use some fresh air."

"That would have been a good idea in theory if it wasn't like approaching the average temperature of an active volcano outside," Eustace said. "Could we at least go down to the Quicki-Mart and spring for some slushies or something?"

"Do I appear as if I'm made out of money?" Dr. Wentworth said. "It seems we shall be requiring the services of some sort of locksmith and they will undoubtedly be charging an arm and a leg. Also I appear to have left my wallet inside the lab. I don't own one of those new-fangled mobile phone devices either, so I'm not sure how we're going to be contacting this lock tradesman."

"Yeah, I don't have a phone either," Eustace said. "You don't pay me anything so I can't afford one. Luckily I don't have any family or friends, so it's not like I need to talk to anybody."

"It does create a bit of a pickle," Dr. Wentworth said as he rubbed his chin. "Perhaps a good Samaritan will pass by and we can request aid from them. In the meantime, it would be peachy if we could get a little cool breeze going or something."

A small gust of wind did stir up just then, but it was one of those hot dusty zephyrs that only make things even more sweaty and uncomfortable.

They stood outside in the baking heat for nearly seven hours before Dr. Wentworth remembered there was a back door to the lab that he always left unlocked.