"I don't see Zeke here," Danielle said as she took a seat in a brightly colored orange booth. The flock of chickens squeezed into the seats beside her and across the table from her.

Sweaty Jim's Dinery-O-Rama had the appearance of a 50's diner only if someone had blindly reached into a crayon box and colored everything in decidedly wrong colors. The floor had a yellow and pink checkerboard design that gave her a bit of a headache as she looked at it. There was also a bright green counter with purple stools lined up along it.

"I don't see him either," Esther scanned the room. "But if it makes you feel better I think that giant gecko lizard sitting at the corner table is giving you the staredown. No, wait. I think he just has a lazy eye."

"As long as we're here, why don't we get something to eat?" Pauline asked. "I don't know about you ladies, but I'm a bit peckish."

The chickens all clucked their enthusiastic agreement.

A pig with red hair done up in a beehive do walked up to their table with a pencil and pad of paper. A thick pair of green square-shaped spectacles hung off the end of her nose. "Good evening, gals. My name is Erma and I'll be your waitress. Can I interest you in the daily special? It's a pan fried goiter freshly harvested off some old man at the retirement home. The chef has really outdone himself on this one, if I do say so myself."

"I think we'll just share a bucket of live mealworms," Esther said.

"An excellent choice," Erma said as she jotted it down on her notepad.

"Do you have anything like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" Danielle asked.

"A what now?" Erma adjusted her spectacles so they magnified her eyes into two enormous saucers.

"You've never heard of a PBJ? You know, it's like a creamy paste made out of peanuts and then there's jelly, which is sort of like a mashed up fruit spread. And then you put those between two slices of bread."

"No, I can't say I've heard of such a thing, and quite frankly, that sounds disgusting." Erma made a little involuntary gagging noise. "There's no chance we'd besmirch the reputation of this fine establishment by serving rubbish like that here."

"You don't even have the individual ingredients?" Danielle asked. "You could just bring them out here and I could assemble it myself. Nobody would ever have to know."

"Tell you what, hon. I could bring you some bread. Would that be acceptable?"

"I guess so," Danielle said with a sigh. "I don't suppose you could bring me a glass of water?"

"Let me just check if the toilet tank is all filled up. Just give me a moment." Erma sauntered off into a back room that looked suspiciously like a restroom. She returned carrying a tall glass filled to the rim. "You're in luck. I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel, so to speak, but there was enough to give you a full glass. All right, you ladies just sit back and relax and I'll be back in a jiffy with your food."

"You sure you don't want to just share our bucket of mealworms?" Esther asked. "There's plenty to go around. These are some serious monster sized buckets. We usually have enough leftovers for all of us to take home for lunch the next day."

"That's really kind of you," Danielle said. "But honestly I think I'll be okay with my bread. As long as it's like normal bread and not something weird like banana slug bread or something."

"Mmm," Pauline said. "Banana slugs are delicious. "And banana slug bread sounds simply divine. I think you might have the makings of a culinary artiste, sweetie."

Danielle was about to voice her vehement disagreement with this idea, but was interrupted by a woman approaching the table accompanied by a chicken.

"Danielle?"

She turned and blinked as it took her a few seconds to realize she recognized the new arrival.

"Sarah! Where have you been?"

"I've been wondering the same thing about you. And look, Maurice! She's found Pauline in your body."

"Oh, thank heavens," the chicken with Sarah said. "Do you suppose we could, like, switch our bodies back now?"

"I don't know," Pauline said. "I thought this human body was stupid looking and awkward at first, but I've come to rather like it now that I've become accustomed to it. Still, I guess I don't fit in as well with the rest of the girls looking like this. I'll tell you what, you give me ten canisters of floss and you've got yourself a deal."

"You're saying I have to pay you to get my body back?" Maurice asked.

"Well, it seems to me it's my body now, isn't it?" Pauline said. "What's that saying about possession being nine tenths of the law and all that?"

"I'm afraid I don't have that much floss," Maurice said.

"Well, then I guess you'd better enjoy being a chicken for the rest of your life," Pauline said with a sniff.

"Look, my uncle's good for it," Sarah said. "If you come back with us to the lab with us, assuming there's still a lab to go back to, we can have him make the switch and then you can get paid for your troubles. Does that sound like a deal?"

"I want fifteen canisters of floss now," Pauline said.

"Done," Sarah said and they shook on it.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled," Esther said. "Why don't you pull up a couple chairs and join us? We've got a big old bucket of writhing and squirming mealworms on the way and you're more than welcome to join us."

*

Sweaty Jim whistled a little tune to himself as he pointedly did not wash his hands after using the restroom. He emerged into the main dining room and then suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

"Why, do my eyes deceive me or is that hot little number Sarah sitting at a booth in my very own dining establishment? And what ho? There appears to be another person of the female persuasion sitting there with her. I'd better mosey on over there. Can anyone say menage a trois for old Sweaty Jim? Yummy yum yum!"

He paused to grab a bottle of breath spray from behind the counter and squirted two spritzes into his mouth. After a brief contemplative pause he went ahead and applied another squirt. He licked his fingers and attempted to slick back his hair, but it kind of just stuck in place greasily. Next he unbuttoned the top three buttons on his blue and red Hawaiian shirt revealing a plethora of thick, curly black chest hair along with his lucky gold necklace. Taking a deep breath to center himself, he then attempted to adopt his best swagger walk, which he had been practicing in front of the mirror for several months now. It rather resembled an inebriated duck's waddle, but he believed it made him look sexy. He strode across the room, positively bursting with confidence.

"Hello there, ladies..."

*

The dandelion riding on Danielle's pant leg didn't know who Sweaty Jim was or what he wanted, but once again, it knew a threat when it saw one. This time it whipped the laser gun out with a practiced ease and fired off three quick shots without even bothering to pause to take aim.

*

Danielle turned her head just in time to see a chubby man who was in the middle of lecherously licking his lips suddenly disintegrate into a dust storm of cartoon stars, moons, kittens, and lightning bolts that scattered all over the floor.

"What the heck?" Danielle scratched her head. "That's the second time that's happened in, like, the last hour. What is going on here? Did you know that guy?"

"I'm afraid I didn't see him," Sarah shrugged. "Welcome to Quartzwater City. Weird things happen here. By the way, you've got a cartoon kitten stuck in your hair. Let me get that for you."

"Thanks," Danielle said as Sarah wrested the stray bit of debris from her locks.

Erma the waitress returned a moment later, heaving a big heavy bucket in one hand and a small plate with a couple hexagon-shaped slices of bread in the other. "Here you go, ladies. Hope you enjoy it." She turned and spotted the cartoon remains of her employer scattered all over the floor. "Who made this giant mess over here? I'm supposed to be off in five minutes but now I've got to stay late and clean this up! And I woke up with a crick in my neck this morning, too. But never you mind old Erma, ladies. Just eat up and enjoy yourselves. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, we definitely weren't worried about that," Esther said. "But thanks for bringing the grubs!"

Erma grumbled something under her breath as she walked off to the back to fetch a broom and dustpan.

"All right, girls," Esther said. "Dig in!"

The chickens attacked the bucket of mealworms with abandon. Danielle took a cautious nibble at her bread. It had a slightly sour taste to it and might have been a tiny bit stale, but it seemed edible enough. She offered Sarah the second slice, who accepted it rather than join in on the grub feast the chickens were engaged in.

"So what have you been up to since the last time I saw you?" Sarah asked.

"Mostly getting myself into some really bizarre situations," Danielle said. "Quartzwater City is an interesting place. I'll give it that. But it's also undeniably weird."

"That's for sure," Sarah said. "Thanks for tracking down Pauline for me, by the way. That's been stressing me out for a bit. And that's not even taking into consideration that I just found out my asshole ex-boyfriend has apparently come to possess some sort of mysterious god-like powers."

"That's no good," Danielle said as she took another bite of bread. "Honestly I-"

"Is it just me or is the table shaking?" Sarah asked.

"Now that you mention it, it kind of seems like the whole building is trembling. Is this an earthquake or something?"

The front door to the restaurant suddenly blew inward off its hinges and a large man dressed in a purple robe came charging in. "I'm hungry as fuck. What have you got to eat in this shithole? Bring it to me now and it better be fucking tasty or I'm going to start fucking shit up. You hear me?"

"Speaking of my asshole ex-boyfriend," Sarah rolled her eyes. "Hello, Vance."