It took less than a minute before Danielle had to admit she was completely lost. She found a fountain that looked like it was spraying either blood or some sort of thick red fruit punch. She wasn't sure which and she didn't particularly want to put it to the taste test. A small blue toddler was splashing around in it giggling like a maniac without any sign of parental supervision.

She was pretty sure Hot Gary had mentioned something about a fountain, but she didn't recall him saying anything about blood. She thought he'd mentioned acid, but considering the toddler's flesh wasn't melting off its body, she figured she probably had the wrong fountain. She made her way around the fountain and walked a couple blocks before finding herself at the entrance to some kind of park. She walked in and before she knew it she was wandering through a giant lollipop forest. Now she was certain she was on the wrong track. She sat down on a bench that looked kind of like a big green gumdrop. It sank a little bit underneath her, but ultimately supported her weight.

A pigeon flapped down from the top of one of the lollipops and landed in front of her. "Pardon me, ma'am, but do you have any spare floss?"

Danielle patted her pocket. She still had a couple of canisters that Dr. Octavius had given her before they went through the door in his lab. She had forgotten about that. At least she seemed to have plenty of money. That should help get her where she was going. She peeled off a couple strands and handed them to the pigeon.

"Much obliged," he said and spread his wings in preparation to take off again.

"Hey, wait a minute," she said. "You wouldn't happen to know how to get to the Airless Coffin motel by chance, would you?"

"The Airless Coffin? Sure, I've stayed there many times. That place has no standards. They'll let anybody in."

"So how do you get there?"

"Oh, it's really simple. If you keep going through the park there's a giant wall on the other side made out of frozen mothballs. If you just fly over that, the motel's a couple blocks away down an alley."

"Is there a way through this wall?" Danielle asked.

"Through? Why do you need to go through? I just told you, you simply fly over it."

"Yeah, there's just one problem. I'm not a bird like you. I can't fly."

"You can if you rent a copter-cycle. There's a booth at the other end of the park by the tofu pond. You're not supposed to take them out of the park, but what are they going to do, arrest you? Actually, on second thought, that's probably exactly what they'd do. They don't mess around when it comes to people stealing copter-cycles."

"Well, is there anyway around the wall?"

"Yeah, but you'd have to walk several miles in either direction. Did I mention it's a really big wall? It's so much easier to fly over it. Seriously, I don't know how you non-avian types get by. I suppose you could try to climb over the wall, but I hear those mothballs are seriously cold. They might give you frostbite. Don't ask me how they keep them so cold, especially on hot days, but those suckers are freezing. Good place to stand next to if you need to cool down, honestly."

"It sounds like I'm just going to have to walk a ways. Thanks for your help."

"Yeah, no problem. Say why are you going to the Airless Coffin anyway? You need a cheap place to stay? Because I've got this cousin with a shack in his backyard and he's been trying to rent that place out for months. No takers so far, probably since there's a small active volcano right next to it that erupts from time to time and floods the place with hot lava. That hasn't happened in a couple of weeks at least. Burned my tail feathers off once though. That's why I'm not crashing there anymore. I'm sure you'd be okay for a night or two. Sometimes it erupts every couple days and sometimes you get a month or so with no activity at all. You want me to give you his contact info?"

"Uh, no thanks. I'm trying to meet up with some friends who were staying there last I heard."

"Oh, okay. Good luck with that. You sure you don't want me to give you my cousin's info just in case?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"All right. Well, thanks for the floss. I appreciate it." He flapped his wings and flew off over the tops of the lollipops.

Danielle started to head back towards the entrance to the park when she heard a clicking sound and the ground sank a little bit underneath her. This seemed to trigger some sort of trapdoor and she suddenly found herself dropping down a long twisting slide. It spun around and around and she was moving faster and faster before finally she dropped into a pit filled with rubber balls. It took her a moment to get her bearings before she pulled herself out of the side of the pit and back onto solid ground.

A large catfish man came running up to her with an angry look on his face. "Hey lady, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Excuse me?" Danielle asked.

"That slide is for children eight years old or younger and, no offense, but you look way older than that."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to go down the slide," she said. "I kind of stumbled on it accidentally what with the trap door opening underneath me and everything."

"Sure, that's what they all say. I know your type. You like to go riding all the kiddie rides on the playground, don't you? You big weirdo."

"Well, it was pretty fun actually. Why does it have to be just for kids?"

"Because that's the rules! What's the point of having rules if nobody's going to follow them? Society would fall apart, that's what. I mean, you think I don't want to go down the slide? It looks super fun. But I don't because I'm a responsible adult and I've learned to be boring and deny myself of all of life's simple pleasures, because that's what adults do, damn it."

"Well, I thought the whole appeal of becoming an adult is you can do whatever you want," Danielle said.

"That's just a lie we tell little kids so they don't off themselves before puberty, which is really the only sane course of action if you really think about it."

"Wow. That's kind of dark. Are you okay?"

"Now that you mention it, no. My wife left me for a barracuda and I lost my management position at the laundry lint factory. Now all that's left for me is enforcing the rules at the playground and you don't even have the decency to act ashamed for brazenly disobeying the clearly posted regulations regarding who can and can't ride the kiddie rides."

"Clearly posted? I didn't see any signs. I didn't even see the slide until I was halfway down it!"
"What are you talking about? I put the sign up myself! It's on a lollipop stick a few feet away from the trapdoor. Are you implying I can't even hang up a sign now? Because maybe you'd like to try taking over my job. See how well you do!"

"That sounds absolutely lovely, but I actually have other things I need to do, so if you wouldn't mind excusing me."

"Are you trying to say my job isn't important? I don't know what else you've got to do that's such a big deal but I can assure you it pales in comparison to making sure disobedient little punks like you aren't out there thumbing their noses at authority. Not on my watch. You know what, lady? You've really gone and pissed me off. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you in."

"Are you arresting me?" Danielle asked. "Do you have that authority? I mean, no offense, but aren't you some kind of over-glorified babysitter?"

"We have a little detention room for unruly park guests to sit and think about their behavior. Granted, it's usually used by parents to put their kids into timeout, but I think you need to go in there for a couple hours."

"No, I don't think I'll be doing that," Danielle said. "Now if you could be so kind as to point me to the park exit? I got a little turned around on that slide."

"What the-?" the catfish sputtered. "You think I'm going to tell you how to get out of here when I just said I'm going to imprison you? You've got some nerve, lady. Don't make me bust out my foam baton, because I will use it."

"Never mind, I think I can see the exit from here. Well, have a nice day, mister. I wish I could say it was nice to meet you, but my mom always told me not to lie." She pushed her way past him and started to walk toward the exit. She felt something soft connect with the back of her head.

"I told you I'd use the foam baton," the catfish said. "You didn't believe me, but my mama taught me not to lie also."

Danielle snatched the baton out of his hand and whacked him over the head several times. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to go back to watching your little playground rides and I'm going to walk out of here and if you ever hassle me again I'm going to ram this baton where the sun don't shine. You got me?"

"Yes, ma'am," the catfish said sheepishly. "Can I have my baton back? Preferably not rammed up any orifices?"

She smacked him upside the head with it one more time and then dropped it on the ground.